(no subject)

[amphetamine]

i am
enthralled and
disgusted by the
apparent unbinding
of promises once vowed
to my lonely
self.

the glazed expression
I carry
is the only evidence
loved ones need
to recognize

that I am lost
again and again
in my selfishness
in my excuses to avoid.

my angry self.
my joyful self.
my manic,
panicked,
self.

brown cardboard
bound,
burried, a-
bandoned
for a
more peaceable
life.

beat away the dust
pierces my nostrils like
a toxc frenzy
of symbols and figures

shower steam away
the creases, less than a year
i'm still caught up
hook
line
(this ship is sailing)

sunk.