189. get your crystal method on
Title | get your crystal method on
Rating | pg-13
Characters | Serena + Carter
Summary | He believes in the love of his god of all things, but I find him wrapped up in all manner of sins.
Notes | Written for this ficathon.
On a dewy night in the Hamptons, Carter Baizen rolls everyone's first joint - Nate's, Chuck's - but Serena just smokes from his, their lips in all the same places. Later, he kisses her, hand cupping the back of her head as they stretch out on the ground. The green of the grass gets into her hair.
He introduces her to every single thing she wasn't supposed to do. She drinks gin through laughter and droplets roll down her chin, her neck, between her breasts; so much skin left bare by her stringy little bikini.
Carter pretends to read her palm on the beach, tracing over the lines on her skin. He says she'll travel everywhere, he says she'll live forever, he doesn't tell her about love.
She feels sunshine-sleepy, toes buried in the sand. She sets her sunglasses with their pink frames on his face, laughs. He grins at her and she's barely more than a kid - it's too easy to make her smile back.
Serena will scare plenty of people in her life - she will scare Blair when she can't stop throwing up tequila, she will scare Nate when she can't keep her eyes open and can't remember what she took, she will scare her little brother when she yells at their stepfather, she'll scare Lily when her mother bothers to notice that she's missing, she'll scare Dan when she doesn't have the words to explain herself.
Carter's the only one who ever really scares her. He'll say things to her sometimes, eyes heavy-lidded, that she wishes she didn't understand.
Serena grows up and tries to grow harder, but she can't get rid of her soft spots. He always remembers the right words, the right hit, the right places to touch. Carter calls her beautiful when her makeup's smudged and she's crying like a little girl left behind. Carter slips small, unbranded pills between her lips and tells her to swallow. Carter tugs at her hair when they have sex and kisses the dip in her collarbone afterward, touches her hip when he sleeps.
Serena grows up and never figures out how to find herself, but she finds him over and over again.
There's an idea of her future in her head sometimes, of a house and a yard and two small children. There is a husband involved, somewhere, though he never shows himself.
There's an idea of her future in her head and then there's her reality. Someday, somehow, Manhattan stops being her home, and nowhere tries to replace it. Serena gets overly comfortable in airplanes.
She still gets a little lost sometimes, but there's an old number in her cell phone and a knock on her hotel room door. Sometimes she feels lost but then Carter tells her, voice all lazy and hoarse, that her hair must be made from the sun, that her mouth tastes like smoke, that he's missed her.
It occurs to Serena, somewhere over the Pacific, that she's missed him too.
Carter reads her palm in a coat-closet at her father's wake. His fingertips tickle her hand and then touch her chin. He tells her she's free.
She puts her cigarette out on the arm of a chair in the corner and leaves a bruise on his neck with her mouth.
There is a day, a morning, when she wakes up and she forgets to be sorry. She forgets to feel mistaken, forgets to think she should have done better, should have done right. She thinks maybe she doesn't know how to be anything else but what she is.
When she tells him, over the phone, he says that's what he's been trying to teach her for years. And when she asks him what he is, who he is, he just laughs.
Carter touches her chin, between his thumb and a knuckle, affectionate. He says the weather here suits her, the air all hot and heavy; she suspects he just likes her short skirts.
He takes her hand in his own and she waits for him to make up secrets, pretend to know what the world has in store for her. Instead, he slips a ring slowly onto her middle finger, nudging it down over her knuckle gently. The stone's the colour of the ocean, the colour of his eyes, but he says it's the colour of hers.
She thinks about saying thank you but instead she just leans into him, feels the stubble of his unshaved cheek against hers as he kisses the corner of her mouth.
Let's go, she says, but for a long while they don't move.
Serena forgets how to be anywhere and decides to be everywhere instead.
It turns out that Carter's there, too.
fin
Rating | pg-13
Characters | Serena + Carter
Summary | He believes in the love of his god of all things, but I find him wrapped up in all manner of sins.
Notes | Written for this ficathon.
On a dewy night in the Hamptons, Carter Baizen rolls everyone's first joint - Nate's, Chuck's - but Serena just smokes from his, their lips in all the same places. Later, he kisses her, hand cupping the back of her head as they stretch out on the ground. The green of the grass gets into her hair.
He introduces her to every single thing she wasn't supposed to do. She drinks gin through laughter and droplets roll down her chin, her neck, between her breasts; so much skin left bare by her stringy little bikini.
Carter pretends to read her palm on the beach, tracing over the lines on her skin. He says she'll travel everywhere, he says she'll live forever, he doesn't tell her about love.
She feels sunshine-sleepy, toes buried in the sand. She sets her sunglasses with their pink frames on his face, laughs. He grins at her and she's barely more than a kid - it's too easy to make her smile back.
Serena will scare plenty of people in her life - she will scare Blair when she can't stop throwing up tequila, she will scare Nate when she can't keep her eyes open and can't remember what she took, she will scare her little brother when she yells at their stepfather, she'll scare Lily when her mother bothers to notice that she's missing, she'll scare Dan when she doesn't have the words to explain herself.
Carter's the only one who ever really scares her. He'll say things to her sometimes, eyes heavy-lidded, that she wishes she didn't understand.
Serena grows up and tries to grow harder, but she can't get rid of her soft spots. He always remembers the right words, the right hit, the right places to touch. Carter calls her beautiful when her makeup's smudged and she's crying like a little girl left behind. Carter slips small, unbranded pills between her lips and tells her to swallow. Carter tugs at her hair when they have sex and kisses the dip in her collarbone afterward, touches her hip when he sleeps.
Serena grows up and never figures out how to find herself, but she finds him over and over again.
There's an idea of her future in her head sometimes, of a house and a yard and two small children. There is a husband involved, somewhere, though he never shows himself.
There's an idea of her future in her head and then there's her reality. Someday, somehow, Manhattan stops being her home, and nowhere tries to replace it. Serena gets overly comfortable in airplanes.
She still gets a little lost sometimes, but there's an old number in her cell phone and a knock on her hotel room door. Sometimes she feels lost but then Carter tells her, voice all lazy and hoarse, that her hair must be made from the sun, that her mouth tastes like smoke, that he's missed her.
It occurs to Serena, somewhere over the Pacific, that she's missed him too.
Carter reads her palm in a coat-closet at her father's wake. His fingertips tickle her hand and then touch her chin. He tells her she's free.
She puts her cigarette out on the arm of a chair in the corner and leaves a bruise on his neck with her mouth.
There is a day, a morning, when she wakes up and she forgets to be sorry. She forgets to feel mistaken, forgets to think she should have done better, should have done right. She thinks maybe she doesn't know how to be anything else but what she is.
When she tells him, over the phone, he says that's what he's been trying to teach her for years. And when she asks him what he is, who he is, he just laughs.
Carter touches her chin, between his thumb and a knuckle, affectionate. He says the weather here suits her, the air all hot and heavy; she suspects he just likes her short skirts.
He takes her hand in his own and she waits for him to make up secrets, pretend to know what the world has in store for her. Instead, he slips a ring slowly onto her middle finger, nudging it down over her knuckle gently. The stone's the colour of the ocean, the colour of his eyes, but he says it's the colour of hers.
She thinks about saying thank you but instead she just leans into him, feels the stubble of his unshaved cheek against hers as he kisses the corner of her mouth.
Let's go, she says, but for a long while they don't move.
Serena forgets how to be anywhere and decides to be everywhere instead.
It turns out that Carter's there, too.
fin