What the frig!?
Hey LiveJournal-heads! Ol' peanut head is back for another moment to pick your friggin' brains for a few paragraphs whether you like it or you don't. There's nothing you can do to stop me, so here we go!
Today I'd like to discuss a little topic that I know that all of you are very familiar with. Well discuss isn't the right word for it. Perhaps, "down right bitch about" would be more fitting. Anyway, I'm talking about the friggin' garbage that is the weather around Erie, Pennsylvania. You goofs (and goofs like you) are always complaining about the weather around here. And since I'm stuck living in this old 'burg just like the rest of you, I have to endure the friggin' nonsensical lunacy that is the weather around here.
Now, when I originally decided to make a post about the weather in this town, it was mostly to complain about the seemingly endless winter that has it's icy clutches around the throat of this city. I was all set to talk about how I was walking to the hardware store to pick up a shiny brand spankin' new crowbar, (I lost my last one in my neighbor's car when I was breaking his windows for not shoveling his sidewalk. I don't care if he's 87. Everyone has to do their friggin' share!) and I slipped on some icy pavement that Old Man Winter decided to leave in his wake. I was ready to talk about how some friggin' kid-types thought it'd be funny to pelt ol' A Mouthful Bill with some snowballs, so I retaliated by launching snow bricks at them. Did I say snow bricks? I meant bricks covered with snow. Who's laughing now!? But yeah... I was all set to make my post about the weather when... It was all gone. I couldn't believe my friggin' eyes. It was almost 60 degrees outside and everything was melting. So I decided, what the heck, I'll just talk about how bizarre it is that in Erie, it can be the dead of winter one minute and Spring time lollipops the next. I wasn't really complaining about the arrival of beautiful weather, but just how screwy it can be around here. So last night, I decided to sleep on it and I'd post my rant the next day. That's when I woke up today and, lo and behold, what do I see? 32 degree weather and snow as far as the friggin' eye can see.
So that's that! Erie weather makes no sense whatsoever! It seems to do whatever it wants to do, at any time it wants to. And we all have to suffer the consequences. Some people think the weather in their towns is messed up. Then they come to Erie. These people no longer have heads, as their brains weren't developed enough to comprehend the random events that is Erie Weather. And you know what? It's not just limited to Winter time. During Spring and Summer, the rain acts quite strangely too. You can literally be walking through the rain, and across the street you can see someone walking in nice warm sunlight. That's how friggin' bizarre the weather around here can be. I wish "The Powers That Be" that control the weather would make up their minds about the weather around here. Quit changing it when you're already in the middle of one weather pattern! We're all getting sick of it! Or at least I am.
On a side note, I'm about ready to go to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania and ensure that ol' Phil never see's his friggin' groundhog shadow ever again! I hear groundhog stew is a delicacy in some places. Mmm.
Anyway, that's it for now. By the way, I've made the decision that I'm going to be updating this sucker once a month. I'm a busy guy and I can't always be bothered to rant to you idiots. So until next month, (when I hope that the weather is a heck of a lot better than it is now.) as always, I'm am and I always shall be A Mouthful Bill.
Today I'd like to discuss a little topic that I know that all of you are very familiar with. Well discuss isn't the right word for it. Perhaps, "down right bitch about" would be more fitting. Anyway, I'm talking about the friggin' garbage that is the weather around Erie, Pennsylvania. You goofs (and goofs like you) are always complaining about the weather around here. And since I'm stuck living in this old 'burg just like the rest of you, I have to endure the friggin' nonsensical lunacy that is the weather around here.
Now, when I originally decided to make a post about the weather in this town, it was mostly to complain about the seemingly endless winter that has it's icy clutches around the throat of this city. I was all set to talk about how I was walking to the hardware store to pick up a shiny brand spankin' new crowbar, (I lost my last one in my neighbor's car when I was breaking his windows for not shoveling his sidewalk. I don't care if he's 87. Everyone has to do their friggin' share!) and I slipped on some icy pavement that Old Man Winter decided to leave in his wake. I was ready to talk about how some friggin' kid-types thought it'd be funny to pelt ol' A Mouthful Bill with some snowballs, so I retaliated by launching snow bricks at them. Did I say snow bricks? I meant bricks covered with snow. Who's laughing now!? But yeah... I was all set to make my post about the weather when... It was all gone. I couldn't believe my friggin' eyes. It was almost 60 degrees outside and everything was melting. So I decided, what the heck, I'll just talk about how bizarre it is that in Erie, it can be the dead of winter one minute and Spring time lollipops the next. I wasn't really complaining about the arrival of beautiful weather, but just how screwy it can be around here. So last night, I decided to sleep on it and I'd post my rant the next day. That's when I woke up today and, lo and behold, what do I see? 32 degree weather and snow as far as the friggin' eye can see.
So that's that! Erie weather makes no sense whatsoever! It seems to do whatever it wants to do, at any time it wants to. And we all have to suffer the consequences. Some people think the weather in their towns is messed up. Then they come to Erie. These people no longer have heads, as their brains weren't developed enough to comprehend the random events that is Erie Weather. And you know what? It's not just limited to Winter time. During Spring and Summer, the rain acts quite strangely too. You can literally be walking through the rain, and across the street you can see someone walking in nice warm sunlight. That's how friggin' bizarre the weather around here can be. I wish "The Powers That Be" that control the weather would make up their minds about the weather around here. Quit changing it when you're already in the middle of one weather pattern! We're all getting sick of it! Or at least I am.
On a side note, I'm about ready to go to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania and ensure that ol' Phil never see's his friggin' groundhog shadow ever again! I hear groundhog stew is a delicacy in some places. Mmm.
Anyway, that's it for now. By the way, I've made the decision that I'm going to be updating this sucker once a month. I'm a busy guy and I can't always be bothered to rant to you idiots. So until next month, (when I hope that the weather is a heck of a lot better than it is now.) as always, I'm am and I always shall be A Mouthful Bill.
