[FIC] Change of Heart - Chapter Seventeen
Title: Change of Heart
Author: Amouralamer
Length: 17/20
Pairings: Jaejoong/Changmin, Others
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Melodrama? Fluffy sap?
Genre: Au, Romance, Smut, Fluffy sap (Flap?)
Summary: Jaejoong and Changmin are straight, college students and fellow co-workers. A night out starts a chain reaction that changes their lives forever.
Disclaimer: Since nobody owns them...I call dibs!
A/N: Only three more chapters after this one! And as promised, HoSu is back!
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
It was late, but try as he might, Changmin couldn't sleep. He lay on his side, turned away from Jaejoong who had had no problem falling asleep. Min was glad Jaejoong didn't suffer from insomnia, it made it a lot easier to hide the fact that he was crying.
Changmin's love for Jaejoong seemed to grow everyday, but so did his pain. Min knew that they could never be openly together. Society had no tolerance for two men in love, but their closest friends would accept them. After all, they had accepted Jaejoong and Yoochun as a couple.
That was the problem. Jaejoong was Yoochun's boyfriend so he and Min's love had to be kept a secret from everyone.
Min hated the fact that he couldn't openly claim Jaejoong as his. Hated that he had to guard his every word and gesture. But what he hated the most was that as long as Jaejoong was Yoochun's boyfriend, he would never truly belong to Changmin. It ate at Min's heart.
Sniffing, Changmin froze as Jaejoong wrapped sleep warmed arms around him, afraid that Jaejoong had heard him crying.
As Jaejoong nuzzled into the back of Changmin's neck, he muttered a sleepy,
"Love you." and drifted back to sleep.
And just like that, Min was calm again. Wrapped securely in Jaejoong's arms and with the echo of Jaejoong's words in his ears, Changmin could finally sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Junsu is laying in Yunho's bed. In Yunho's arms. Yunho was asleep, but Junsu was wide awake. Stroking his fingers along Yunho's arm in lazy circles, Su thinks about his wedding. It isn't too far away.
Both families were happy and excited. Junsu and Ye-ryeon have had lots of fun planning and registering. On the one hand, Junsu couldn't wait for his wedding day. In his mind it represented a straightening out of his life, but on the other hand...it meant an end to his time with Yunho.
Junsu had spent almost every night with Yunho for the last couple of weeks. They didn't even have sex every time. sometimes they just watched a movie or sat and talked. Su found that those times were the ones he liked the best. He would miss Yunho.
Something else that had been preying heavily on his mind was his wedding night. Junsu was nervous. Nervous that Ye-ryeon won't enjoy it. He knows about sex between men, but has no idea about what a woman enjoys. Junsu wants Ye-ryeon to have no regrets in their life together.
Suddenly Su's phone starts to vibrate it's way across Yunho's nightstand. Grabbing it before it can fall to the floor, Junsu is surprised to see Ye-ryeon's number in the display window.
"Yeobeosaeyeo?"
"It's me, did I wake you?"
"No, I was awake. Is something wrong?"
"Yes. Well, no. Nobody is hurt or anything if that is what you mean." Junsu breathes a sigh of relief. She had him worried for a second. "I just..I need to see you."
"Now?" Su is surprised.
"Sorry, I know it's late, but I really want to see you."
Ye-ryeon has never called him like this before and Su was worried. Something wasn't right.
"I'll be right over."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yunho wakes to find Junsu getting dressed.
"Su-ah? Where are you going?"
"Sorry to wake you. Ye-ryeon called and needs to see me."
Yunho is silent as Junsu leans over and kisses him briefly.
"I'll be back in a little while."
Watching Junsu leave, Yunho's heart hurts. He knows that with Su's wedding rapidly approaching, one day Junsu would leave and not come back.
Yunho has never met Ye-ryeon, but he can see that Junsu adores her. It is in his voice and on his face whenever she is mentioned and it made Yunho ache. He never doubted Junsu's desire for him, but he knew it wasn't enough.
Junsu may like to fuck me, but it is her he loves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Ye-ryeon opened the door for him, Junsu took her hands and sat her down on the sofa.
"Honey, what's wrong?"
"I don't know Su. Maybe nothing." Looking at their clasped hands, she tries to collect her thoughts.
"I..I'm worried about us. Lately I feel like you're a million miles away. I'm sorry to call you so late at night, but I need to know." Looking him square in the eye she asks,
"Are you having second thoughts? About marrying me?"
"No! Ye-ryeon no. I still want to marry you."
"Really? Because I've been thinking. You never touch me. You never even seem to want to. We kiss, but you don't really kiss me. You treat me like one of your sisters!"
Taking a deep breath she says,
"I'm starting to think you don't love me. Not like you should."
Pulling her hands out of his, Ye-ryeon grasps Junsu's face instead.
"So tell me Junsu...why do you want to marry me?"
Looking into the worried eyes of his best friend Junsu knows that she deserves the truth.
"I do love you Ye-ryeon..." he whispers.
"...But not like that, right?" she finishes for him.
Junsu shakes his head and starts to cry. Taking her face in his hands too, Su presses their foreheads together.
"Forgive me. I'm not the person you think I am. I've been hiding behind you the entire time we've been together."
"Wh...what do you mean?"
"I'm gay." the words are barely a whisper, but she heard them.
Ye-ryeon's hands drop away from Su's face and she leans back to stare at him. Her mouth opens and closes, like she doesn't know which questions to ask first.
"Whe...is this a new...discovery?"
He shakes his head.
"So...how long?"
"My whole life."
"Then...why did you ask me out?"
"To make it look like I was straight." Junsu wanted to take her hand again, but was afraid she would reject him.
"My family doesn't know...about me. I've been dating girls ever since high school to keep it that way."
"So you never loved me." Her sad face broke Su's heart.
"I DO love you! Ye-ryeon, you're my best friend." Running his hands through his hair, Junsu searches for the words to make her understand. "I, usually I date a girl for a couple of months, three at the most, then I break it off with her. That way there is no chance of her becoming seriously attached to me when, for me, it wouldn't ever go anywhere."
Taking a chance at rejection, Su grabbed her hand.
"I had every intention of doing the same thing with you, but I became attached to you. I didn't want to lose you. I was afraid that if I told you I just wanted to be friends that you would leave me altogether."
Ye-ryeon is incredulous. "So you asked me to marry you?!" Su winced at her unspoken Are you stupid? which she may not have said out loud, but Su heard loud and clear.
"You asked me to marry you so that you wouldn't lose me as a friend? Don't you think that's a little drastic?"
"Look, Ye-ryeon, I'm tired of hiding. Tired of being alone. I can't tell my family that I like men, I don't want them to hate me. I'll never love another woman like I love you and I thought that we could be happy together. I'm sorry I hurt you. If you want to break it off, I'll understand."
"Junsu, I'm more confused than hurt. Stunned, really. But.....I'm not in love with you either. It looks like we were both marrying our best friends. I agreed to marry you for the same reason that you asked me. I thought we could be happy together too."
They are both quiet, thinking. Junsu asks her,
"Now what?"
"I don't know. Wait! Do you have a...boyfriend?"
Thinking of Yunho, Su tells her,
"No, but I have a lover."
"So you've been cheating on me this whole time? The whole time you've been with me, you've also been with him?"
Wanting to be completely honest Su says,
"I've been having occasional one night stands while we've been together, but I've only been seeing him for a little while."
"Does he know about me?"
"Yes."
"And he doesn't care that you were going to marry me? Were you going to keep seeing him after we were married?"
"No. Once we wed it would have ended and I would have been faithful to you. He knows that too."
"....."
"....."
Ye-ryeon is hesitant as she asks,
"Do you love him?"
Junsu bites back a sob.
"Yes."
"Oh, Su..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is morning before Junsu and Ye-ryeon are finished talking. Making his way to Yunho's house Junsu lets himself in with the key that Yunho gave him.
Taking it off of his ring he gently lays it on the table in the hall. Walking further into the house he sees that Yunho is up and in the kitchen making tea.
"What's wrong?" Yunho asks, seeing Junsu's face.
"I told her. Everything."
"And?" Yunho couldn't help the hope that sprung to life deep inside his heart.
"She is still willing to marry me, but...but I have to stop seeing you."
Yunho's hope dies a quiet, but excruciating death and takes his heart with it.
"I see."
Looking down, Yunho thinks things over. Then, nodding once, Yunho walks forward, wraps Junsu in a tight hug and whispers,
"Be happy."
YAY! END OF CHAPTER SEVENTEEN!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cast Pics!
The lovely Kim Jaejoong! Okay. So I put in the smaller pic, but I added a second one!
The exquisite Shim Changmin!
Horikita Maki
The charismatic Kim Junsu!
Ye-ryeon
The aegyo Jung Yunho!
Donghae
The sultry Park Yoochun!
The delectable Joo Jihoon!
Kim Heechul. How can you not love Chullie!
Kang Eun Bi. Blech!
I forgot to add Yoon Eun Hye! Love her!
Author: Amouralamer
Length: 17/20
Pairings: Jaejoong/Changmin, Others
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Melodrama? Fluffy sap?
Genre: Au, Romance, Smut, Fluffy sap (Flap?)
Summary: Jaejoong and Changmin are straight, college students and fellow co-workers. A night out starts a chain reaction that changes their lives forever.
Disclaimer: Since nobody owns them...I call dibs!
A/N: Only three more chapters after this one! And as promised, HoSu is back!
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
It was late, but try as he might, Changmin couldn't sleep. He lay on his side, turned away from Jaejoong who had had no problem falling asleep. Min was glad Jaejoong didn't suffer from insomnia, it made it a lot easier to hide the fact that he was crying.
Changmin's love for Jaejoong seemed to grow everyday, but so did his pain. Min knew that they could never be openly together. Society had no tolerance for two men in love, but their closest friends would accept them. After all, they had accepted Jaejoong and Yoochun as a couple.
That was the problem. Jaejoong was Yoochun's boyfriend so he and Min's love had to be kept a secret from everyone.
Min hated the fact that he couldn't openly claim Jaejoong as his. Hated that he had to guard his every word and gesture. But what he hated the most was that as long as Jaejoong was Yoochun's boyfriend, he would never truly belong to Changmin. It ate at Min's heart.
Sniffing, Changmin froze as Jaejoong wrapped sleep warmed arms around him, afraid that Jaejoong had heard him crying.
As Jaejoong nuzzled into the back of Changmin's neck, he muttered a sleepy,
"Love you." and drifted back to sleep.
And just like that, Min was calm again. Wrapped securely in Jaejoong's arms and with the echo of Jaejoong's words in his ears, Changmin could finally sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Junsu is laying in Yunho's bed. In Yunho's arms. Yunho was asleep, but Junsu was wide awake. Stroking his fingers along Yunho's arm in lazy circles, Su thinks about his wedding. It isn't too far away.
Both families were happy and excited. Junsu and Ye-ryeon have had lots of fun planning and registering. On the one hand, Junsu couldn't wait for his wedding day. In his mind it represented a straightening out of his life, but on the other hand...it meant an end to his time with Yunho.
Junsu had spent almost every night with Yunho for the last couple of weeks. They didn't even have sex every time. sometimes they just watched a movie or sat and talked. Su found that those times were the ones he liked the best. He would miss Yunho.
Something else that had been preying heavily on his mind was his wedding night. Junsu was nervous. Nervous that Ye-ryeon won't enjoy it. He knows about sex between men, but has no idea about what a woman enjoys. Junsu wants Ye-ryeon to have no regrets in their life together.
Suddenly Su's phone starts to vibrate it's way across Yunho's nightstand. Grabbing it before it can fall to the floor, Junsu is surprised to see Ye-ryeon's number in the display window.
"Yeobeosaeyeo?"
"It's me, did I wake you?"
"No, I was awake. Is something wrong?"
"Yes. Well, no. Nobody is hurt or anything if that is what you mean." Junsu breathes a sigh of relief. She had him worried for a second. "I just..I need to see you."
"Now?" Su is surprised.
"Sorry, I know it's late, but I really want to see you."
Ye-ryeon has never called him like this before and Su was worried. Something wasn't right.
"I'll be right over."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yunho wakes to find Junsu getting dressed.
"Su-ah? Where are you going?"
"Sorry to wake you. Ye-ryeon called and needs to see me."
Yunho is silent as Junsu leans over and kisses him briefly.
"I'll be back in a little while."
Watching Junsu leave, Yunho's heart hurts. He knows that with Su's wedding rapidly approaching, one day Junsu would leave and not come back.
Yunho has never met Ye-ryeon, but he can see that Junsu adores her. It is in his voice and on his face whenever she is mentioned and it made Yunho ache. He never doubted Junsu's desire for him, but he knew it wasn't enough.
Junsu may like to fuck me, but it is her he loves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Ye-ryeon opened the door for him, Junsu took her hands and sat her down on the sofa.
"Honey, what's wrong?"
"I don't know Su. Maybe nothing." Looking at their clasped hands, she tries to collect her thoughts.
"I..I'm worried about us. Lately I feel like you're a million miles away. I'm sorry to call you so late at night, but I need to know." Looking him square in the eye she asks,
"Are you having second thoughts? About marrying me?"
"No! Ye-ryeon no. I still want to marry you."
"Really? Because I've been thinking. You never touch me. You never even seem to want to. We kiss, but you don't really kiss me. You treat me like one of your sisters!"
Taking a deep breath she says,
"I'm starting to think you don't love me. Not like you should."
Pulling her hands out of his, Ye-ryeon grasps Junsu's face instead.
"So tell me Junsu...why do you want to marry me?"
Looking into the worried eyes of his best friend Junsu knows that she deserves the truth.
"I do love you Ye-ryeon..." he whispers.
"...But not like that, right?" she finishes for him.
Junsu shakes his head and starts to cry. Taking her face in his hands too, Su presses their foreheads together.
"Forgive me. I'm not the person you think I am. I've been hiding behind you the entire time we've been together."
"Wh...what do you mean?"
"I'm gay." the words are barely a whisper, but she heard them.
Ye-ryeon's hands drop away from Su's face and she leans back to stare at him. Her mouth opens and closes, like she doesn't know which questions to ask first.
"Whe...is this a new...discovery?"
He shakes his head.
"So...how long?"
"My whole life."
"Then...why did you ask me out?"
"To make it look like I was straight." Junsu wanted to take her hand again, but was afraid she would reject him.
"My family doesn't know...about me. I've been dating girls ever since high school to keep it that way."
"So you never loved me." Her sad face broke Su's heart.
"I DO love you! Ye-ryeon, you're my best friend." Running his hands through his hair, Junsu searches for the words to make her understand. "I, usually I date a girl for a couple of months, three at the most, then I break it off with her. That way there is no chance of her becoming seriously attached to me when, for me, it wouldn't ever go anywhere."
Taking a chance at rejection, Su grabbed her hand.
"I had every intention of doing the same thing with you, but I became attached to you. I didn't want to lose you. I was afraid that if I told you I just wanted to be friends that you would leave me altogether."
Ye-ryeon is incredulous. "So you asked me to marry you?!" Su winced at her unspoken Are you stupid? which she may not have said out loud, but Su heard loud and clear.
"You asked me to marry you so that you wouldn't lose me as a friend? Don't you think that's a little drastic?"
"Look, Ye-ryeon, I'm tired of hiding. Tired of being alone. I can't tell my family that I like men, I don't want them to hate me. I'll never love another woman like I love you and I thought that we could be happy together. I'm sorry I hurt you. If you want to break it off, I'll understand."
"Junsu, I'm more confused than hurt. Stunned, really. But.....I'm not in love with you either. It looks like we were both marrying our best friends. I agreed to marry you for the same reason that you asked me. I thought we could be happy together too."
They are both quiet, thinking. Junsu asks her,
"Now what?"
"I don't know. Wait! Do you have a...boyfriend?"
Thinking of Yunho, Su tells her,
"No, but I have a lover."
"So you've been cheating on me this whole time? The whole time you've been with me, you've also been with him?"
Wanting to be completely honest Su says,
"I've been having occasional one night stands while we've been together, but I've only been seeing him for a little while."
"Does he know about me?"
"Yes."
"And he doesn't care that you were going to marry me? Were you going to keep seeing him after we were married?"
"No. Once we wed it would have ended and I would have been faithful to you. He knows that too."
"....."
"....."
Ye-ryeon is hesitant as she asks,
"Do you love him?"
Junsu bites back a sob.
"Yes."
"Oh, Su..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is morning before Junsu and Ye-ryeon are finished talking. Making his way to Yunho's house Junsu lets himself in with the key that Yunho gave him.
Taking it off of his ring he gently lays it on the table in the hall. Walking further into the house he sees that Yunho is up and in the kitchen making tea.
"What's wrong?" Yunho asks, seeing Junsu's face.
"I told her. Everything."
"And?" Yunho couldn't help the hope that sprung to life deep inside his heart.
"She is still willing to marry me, but...but I have to stop seeing you."
Yunho's hope dies a quiet, but excruciating death and takes his heart with it.
"I see."
Looking down, Yunho thinks things over. Then, nodding once, Yunho walks forward, wraps Junsu in a tight hug and whispers,
"Be happy."
YAY! END OF CHAPTER SEVENTEEN!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cast Pics!
The lovely Kim Jaejoong! Okay. So I put in the smaller pic, but I added a second one!
The exquisite Shim Changmin!
Horikita Maki
The charismatic Kim Junsu!
Ye-ryeon
The aegyo Jung Yunho!
Donghae
The sultry Park Yoochun!
The delectable Joo Jihoon!
Kim Heechul. How can you not love Chullie!
Kang Eun Bi. Blech!
I forgot to add Yoon Eun Hye! Love her!