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Feb 08, 2008 15:12



the storefront windows are filled with pink roses and boxes of chocolate shaped like hearts. torn valentines from secret admirers litter the sidewalk, and you remember just exactly why you've always hated the month your birthday happened to fall in. you press your knuckles deep into your coat pockets, and you wish you could feel her soft hand sharing it with you. it immediately reminds you of the way she laughed. you miss the way her hair, that always smelled like apple shampoo, would get blown in-between your lips when you'd kiss her. your hand forms a fist and you press down harder. the trees never looked this bare when she was by your side picking up the fallen leaves as if they were treasure. she used to tape them in her journal. the leaves would create borders around the polaroid pictures of you at the park together. you remember pushing her on the swings. and how she used to close her eyes and pretend to detach from the swing set, that was rusting and the blue paint was chipping off. you never wanted to be somewhere else when you were with her. she was all you ever wanted, and you felt like a better person every time you touched her. you realize you are standing at the foot of the stairs leading to her door. the passionless aluminum rail blanketed in snow reminds you that she doesn't love you. and you can't climb the stairs and have her for yourself ever again. just as you want to run away, you realize you're completely out of breath. out of nervousness, out of heartache your knees give. and you fall against the hard cement. you wake up to a gentle hand against your forehead, and you quickly get to your feet off the new fallen snow. you peer out your glasses and see vague outlines. you notice the confused look on her face. she tilts her head and steps closer. the snow on your lenses distorted the image, of what was only one of her. you didn't know which one to address. you exhale and readjust your scarf. you look down at her high heels and feel a little worse. she was beautiful. "sorry. happy valentine's day." you walk all the way home kicking a green candy conversation heart that was left on the sidewalk. you know that whomever thought of the idea for a holiday to celebrate lovers never fell in love with a girl who wore high heels, and washed her hair with apple shampoo.
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