071

[amour_lore]

today she moved out of the house. her last stop.
to the "old people's home"
it was a day earlier than expected, and i sat in the car and cried.
the familiar face sat there looking at me,
trying to cheer me up
but the more i wiped my cheeks, the more they burned. the more my skin felt raw.
and as she tried so hard to make me smile,
and i did smile.
but my insides were raw. they are raw. they feel gone.
do i have feelings of happiness anymore?
it didn't feel like it.
everything felt the same. shitty.
it has all felt that way. that shitty way for a couple weeks now.

back to the house and i made myself feel as though
it was more empty than ever.
watching tv, and i fell asleep on the familiar shoulder.
such a relief to just sit and fall asleep knowing
that my house had someone else in it.
that someone chose to sit next to me on the couch.
i just felt so... not alone... for the first time in awhile.

simple times no one will get that just made me want to take
that lighter of mine and melt
so i wont wake up tomorrow
having to start over,
once again.