(no subject)
i'm really confused about what to do.
i think i should transfer out of here, but the things is, where else would i go? i'm not even sure if im entirely committed to art anymore- and i dont know if thats just syracuse discouraging me from it. I really like photography, so im wondering if should be pursuing something with that, but then again, what about my painting? i miss painting, i havent done anything in awhile- mostly i just want to buy canvasses and paint my abstracts and be alone- and i never seem to do that here even though i tell myself to.
so photography? taking pictures is the only thing that really keeps me from going insane here (although that can be extremely frustrating at times.)but also, i love to write. what about writing and reading? i feel like now im here, and have been here for a bit, im starting to just get used to it, but i think getting used to it is dangerous, and is going to keep me from really making a decision. decision making is just so hard. i just dont like it here as much as i thought i would, i used to like school, but now...but then again. did i even like school? i liked parts of it, i liked to learn, read the books. but here, i dont know. it just doesnt seem for me. think. think. think. and then go to sleep without really thinking about anything- thats what i do. and where will art get me anyway, except to myself.
i just dont know. i just dont know. i just dont know.
i think i should transfer out of here, but the things is, where else would i go? i'm not even sure if im entirely committed to art anymore- and i dont know if thats just syracuse discouraging me from it. I really like photography, so im wondering if should be pursuing something with that, but then again, what about my painting? i miss painting, i havent done anything in awhile- mostly i just want to buy canvasses and paint my abstracts and be alone- and i never seem to do that here even though i tell myself to.
so photography? taking pictures is the only thing that really keeps me from going insane here (although that can be extremely frustrating at times.)but also, i love to write. what about writing and reading? i feel like now im here, and have been here for a bit, im starting to just get used to it, but i think getting used to it is dangerous, and is going to keep me from really making a decision. decision making is just so hard. i just dont like it here as much as i thought i would, i used to like school, but now...but then again. did i even like school? i liked parts of it, i liked to learn, read the books. but here, i dont know. it just doesnt seem for me. think. think. think. and then go to sleep without really thinking about anything- thats what i do. and where will art get me anyway, except to myself.
i just dont know. i just dont know. i just dont know.