decisions. and hunting.
I decided not long ago to stay in Windsor for a year to sort my life out.
So tonight I officially began the job hunt. I won't be free full-time until mid-April, when I defend my thesis, but I'm looking for part-time for now. I could live on part-time here with decent hours, so ending my term with a part-time position would be a relief. Even if it means near-hell during the semester. (I've had worse, I'm sure.)
Otherwise, I had to decide to let the viola go. The sheer impracticality of having zero time and eight instruments -- yeah. I can't afford it, financially or time-wise (I haven't touched some of my instruments in years). It saddens me, but I just can't be the person I was in high school who had time to songs and compose string quintets and write novella-length works and play four sets of instruments and etc. Reality time is now.
(I think I take for granted sometimes how much I did in high school. How much I still do now, with a lot less spare time.)
That said, I can focus on saving up for moving costs and the two big ticket items I've decided I want to work towards: a Macbook Pro and the Canon Rebel T2i. Looking a lot forward to both, as the battery life in the new Macbooks is outstanding and about doubles what I have, which would make my frequent long trips a lot less awful -- and I'm getting excited about photography, as I feel it's a visual mode of expression I understand a lot better than most, and that integrates (for me) extraordinarily well with writing.
Also, though lots of time commitment to photography = obvious improvements in my photography, it doesn't atrophy quite as horribly as my musical skills do when I don't have time to practice, nor is it dissatisfying to do if I only have a few minutes for it each day. In that way, it's nice. With writing as my current form of "work", having a creative medium to turn to that doesn't indirectly trigger more stress is lovely.
Things that seemed to need to break have broken and are being mended or set aside and now my life is a series of to-do lists being gathered up and prioritized. I hope to catch up with you soon, somewhere along the way. Once I've caught up with myself. Until then, I ought to go to bed, as tomorrow I will be working freelance, running errands, and trying out this thing called a date with my boyfriend.
Not to mention the list of tasks that come after tomorrow, that seem to stretch on indefinitely into the horizon until I finish this degree, and thus also my steady work contract, and thus also six years of my life.
I alternate between really looking forward to that day and being absolutely terrified of its arrival.
ETA: Goddamnit I'm too soft. I'm keeping the viola.
So tonight I officially began the job hunt. I won't be free full-time until mid-April, when I defend my thesis, but I'm looking for part-time for now. I could live on part-time here with decent hours, so ending my term with a part-time position would be a relief. Even if it means near-hell during the semester. (I've had worse, I'm sure.)
Otherwise, I had to decide to let the viola go. The sheer impracticality of having zero time and eight instruments -- yeah. I can't afford it, financially or time-wise (I haven't touched some of my instruments in years). It saddens me, but I just can't be the person I was in high school who had time to songs and compose string quintets and write novella-length works and play four sets of instruments and etc. Reality time is now.
(I think I take for granted sometimes how much I did in high school. How much I still do now, with a lot less spare time.)
That said, I can focus on saving up for moving costs and the two big ticket items I've decided I want to work towards: a Macbook Pro and the Canon Rebel T2i. Looking a lot forward to both, as the battery life in the new Macbooks is outstanding and about doubles what I have, which would make my frequent long trips a lot less awful -- and I'm getting excited about photography, as I feel it's a visual mode of expression I understand a lot better than most, and that integrates (for me) extraordinarily well with writing.
Also, though lots of time commitment to photography = obvious improvements in my photography, it doesn't atrophy quite as horribly as my musical skills do when I don't have time to practice, nor is it dissatisfying to do if I only have a few minutes for it each day. In that way, it's nice. With writing as my current form of "work", having a creative medium to turn to that doesn't indirectly trigger more stress is lovely.
Things that seemed to need to break have broken and are being mended or set aside and now my life is a series of to-do lists being gathered up and prioritized. I hope to catch up with you soon, somewhere along the way. Once I've caught up with myself. Until then, I ought to go to bed, as tomorrow I will be working freelance, running errands, and trying out this thing called a date with my boyfriend.
Not to mention the list of tasks that come after tomorrow, that seem to stretch on indefinitely into the horizon until I finish this degree, and thus also my steady work contract, and thus also six years of my life.
I alternate between really looking forward to that day and being absolutely terrified of its arrival.
ETA: Goddamnit I'm too soft. I'm keeping the viola.