Musings
I think this may be due to exhaustion, feeling burnt out or a creeping sense of mortality as my birthday inches nearer...
I feel pointless that my search for myself isn't over. Everyday is a struggle where I am chastened to find out the gut feeling I trusted sometimes fail me. It's been 25 short years but I have yet to dance like no one is looking, love like I'm not afraid, or bravely chase my dream.
I sometimes wonder if idealism tempered by practicality have caused me to limit myself, if sensibility has ever caused me to protect myself and made me a robot. On a sidenote, it has given me one hell of a poker face.
I feel this terrible weariness, this ache to break away from what I've entrapped myself with, to pursue my dream and to shun away all what normal routine dictates.
Maybe all I need is just a long break and a trip away from this country. It's suffocating. The bland apathetic faces and the questions one faces when straying away from the norm - why aren't you married? Why are you working in such a place? Why are you so afraid? Oh god. It's so hard to breathe.
25 years and I have nary an idea why I'm here for. Perhaps it's time to find out.
Posted via LjBeetle
I feel pointless that my search for myself isn't over. Everyday is a struggle where I am chastened to find out the gut feeling I trusted sometimes fail me. It's been 25 short years but I have yet to dance like no one is looking, love like I'm not afraid, or bravely chase my dream.
I sometimes wonder if idealism tempered by practicality have caused me to limit myself, if sensibility has ever caused me to protect myself and made me a robot. On a sidenote, it has given me one hell of a poker face.
I feel this terrible weariness, this ache to break away from what I've entrapped myself with, to pursue my dream and to shun away all what normal routine dictates.
Maybe all I need is just a long break and a trip away from this country. It's suffocating. The bland apathetic faces and the questions one faces when straying away from the norm - why aren't you married? Why are you working in such a place? Why are you so afraid? Oh god. It's so hard to breathe.
25 years and I have nary an idea why I'm here for. Perhaps it's time to find out.
Posted via LjBeetle