(no subject)
Noone will read this.
I cannot stand when I get into weird moods. I call them "weird" because they're not necessarily bad moods, but they're not good either because I don't feel like talking to anyone. And when I do actually talk to them, it can be anyone, I start to get really annoyed because I'm in the weird mood and they're okay, and they think I'm in a bad mood, and I'm not, I just don't feel like talking. And so they keep trying to help me cheer up which doesn't work and then they start getting annoyed at me because they think it's their fault I'm in this mood in the first place. How exhausting.
I've spent a good portion of my life alone. Maybe I've had a boyfriend here and there, I mean I've always fucking had one, because that's the way I am, but the majority of boyfriends I have had made me feel alone. At one time I got really used to the idea of just being alone for a long time but along came Ilan, and yeah, I was hooked (thanks!) hahaha. But I always tell him that after him, I'm not going to date anyone for awhile. I mean really. I've had three long relationships before him, two of which lasted 2 years, and after this one, why should I go through the routine all over again? There's not even anyone I could see myself liking in this city. I don't really want to think about us breaking up. I can't expect anything and I feel like I love him tooo much. I'm ridiculous sometimes, it's awesome.
I cuss too much. I smoke too much. (It doesnt help when your mom doesn't care and buys almost a cartons worth for you.) Haha, even though I think it's hilarious when my mom asks me for a smoke. I love my mom. I need to quit both.
I need to go find food. Omita makes such good food, it's insane. Looooooove that lady!
I cannot stand when I get into weird moods. I call them "weird" because they're not necessarily bad moods, but they're not good either because I don't feel like talking to anyone. And when I do actually talk to them, it can be anyone, I start to get really annoyed because I'm in the weird mood and they're okay, and they think I'm in a bad mood, and I'm not, I just don't feel like talking. And so they keep trying to help me cheer up which doesn't work and then they start getting annoyed at me because they think it's their fault I'm in this mood in the first place. How exhausting.
I've spent a good portion of my life alone. Maybe I've had a boyfriend here and there, I mean I've always fucking had one, because that's the way I am, but the majority of boyfriends I have had made me feel alone. At one time I got really used to the idea of just being alone for a long time but along came Ilan, and yeah, I was hooked (thanks!) hahaha. But I always tell him that after him, I'm not going to date anyone for awhile. I mean really. I've had three long relationships before him, two of which lasted 2 years, and after this one, why should I go through the routine all over again? There's not even anyone I could see myself liking in this city. I don't really want to think about us breaking up. I can't expect anything and I feel like I love him tooo much. I'm ridiculous sometimes, it's awesome.
I cuss too much. I smoke too much. (It doesnt help when your mom doesn't care and buys almost a cartons worth for you.) Haha, even though I think it's hilarious when my mom asks me for a smoke. I love my mom. I need to quit both.
I need to go find food. Omita makes such good food, it's insane. Looooooove that lady!