1 Chaptered: Lost Without Each Other

Dec 30, 2007 04:34

Title: Lost Without Each Other (Chapter 5)
Co-Author: jandjsalmon
Words: circa 3000 the chapter (shortest chapter by far)
Rating: ultimately NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Theodore Nott/Tracey Davis
Warnings: character death, swearing, sex/smut, not exactly HBP compliant.
Author's Notes: I'm honored to be able to write our Theo/Tracey with my awesome friend, Jess.
Summary: Theodore Nott and Tracey Davis are happily in love. They plan to spend forever together until after several unforeseeable circumstances they are pulled apart. Eight years later, something they witnessed on one of their last dates comes back to haunt them both and push them together in ways neither is prepared for.
Summary for chapter: Eight years after their graduation from Hogwarts...
Previous chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Tracey didn't usually like to think of her time at Hogwarts. It hurt too much to dwell on the fact that she used to care about things once. She'd only kept one thing from her time there, one thing that she still enjoyed. She still loved the gardens. Almost all of her free time was spent working in the greenhouses at her family estate. She lost herself for hours, finding her only joy in tending to them. She could be found watering seedlings or clipping undergrowth, she wasn't afraid of the dirt and she relished in the feelings of making things grow. Of all the greenhouses and gardens, however, there was only one place she never set foot in - the rose garden.

Garrett, the family gardener had tried to have her share her wealth of knowledge about the proper way to nurture the fickle things but she had out and out refused to help him with them. What had once been her favourite flower now only reminded her of what she'd lost, even eight years later. She couldn't even look at them anymore.

It was a gorgeous summer afternoon when Tracey leaned up from weeding a patch of lilies in order to take off her hat and wipe her brow. The sun was hot and she hadn't taken a break at midday like she'd promised her mother she would. Maeve Davis argued that too much sun would make her daughter's porcelain skin brawny and common, and she'd even gone so far as to say that Tracey and her habit of picking at her food and speaking only when spoken to were going to drive away any man who wanted to sire an heir with her. Her petite frame was hardly suitable to bearing many children anyway. In fact, she looked more and more sickly the older she got. She was still a lovely young woman, only barely twenty five, but to her mother, Tracey's bloom of youth was almost wilted and at it's end. All Maeve's planning and conniving would be for naught if she didn't have her daughter married soon.

Tracey was about to move toward the rhododendrons when a soft chuckle behind her made her turn around.

"Blaise? What are you doing in the gardens?" she asked, trying to smile, but having a suspicious feeling that he'd heard from a little birdie that she was out there and was conveniently sent to fetch her out of the sun.

"Is that how you say hello, love? It's me, don't I deserve more than that?" He smiled charmingly down at her, extending a hand to pull her out of the dirt.

He leaned in to kiss her and she turned her face so all he hit was her upper cheek. She hated that he did that and her displeasure was clear on her face. "Don't," she warned.

Blaise bit back a laugh, "Don't what, Tracey dear? It's me."

Tracey rolled her eyes and stepped back, rubbing her dirty hands together to loosen the dirt. "You know very well what I meant, Blaise. As much as I appreciate this charade, don't you think it's time we were done with it?"

Blaise cleared his throat and looked away awkwardly. "Tracey, what if it didn't have to be a charade? You're my best friend. You have been since before we could walk. Would it be so horrible to be married to me? You'd be out from under your parent's authority. You could do as you please. I wouldn't force you to-"

"No, Blaise," Tracey said quietly but firmly. She had almost expected a reaction similar to this. He had seemed off for weeks... "I can't. Though I appreciate the offer. You're a good friend, Blaise."

He looked as though he was about to argue, but she just pasted on a wide smile and took his arm in hers. "Shall we go up to the house? I expect that Daddy is home now, yes? He said he had some important news."

Blaise's face broke out into an uneasy smile. "That's what I was trying to talk to you about."

Tracey looked up at him, the smile wiped off her face and she took her arm away. They were standing on the great stone staircase leading into the parlor and she was looking at him in horror. "What have you done, Blaise?"

"You'll see it's best, Pet. I love you and we'll be happy. I know we will. Happier than you ever were with-"

"Don't say his name," she warned. "You didn't tell them. I won't. I can't. Blaise what possessed you to do this? It was just a charade to keep them from marrying me off to some horrid investor, it was never meant to get this far."

He simply smiled cheekily at her and ushered her into the parlor where her parents were sitting with Blaise's mum all wearing giant smiles. Tracey's eyes widened. They all thought she was going to marry Blaise. They had another thing coming. She was through with being the simpering daughter who did as she was told. She was done being dutiful and listening to every word. There would be no more of this.

Well, that was what she told herself.

In reality she just mutely walked toward Aunt Lanie and kissed her cheek before sitting down and crossing her legs underneath her. Blaise stood behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. He was all smiles and she wanted to smack it right off his face, but she didn't. She just waited to hear what Malcolm and Maeve Davis had to say.

Malcolm began with saying how happy they were that she and Blaise had been so close for so long. He skirted the 'brief' years when they hadn't been joined at the hip, and said how glad he was that everything was settled this way. "A perfect match."

Inside, Tracey rolled her eyes. Four years was 'brief' to him. It was a lifetime to her. She couldn't let this falsehood go on much longer. Not if she wanted to remain human being with her own thoughts and feelings. The emptiness that had resided in her heart for nearly a decade began to fill with fire and her words slipped out before she knew it, though she wasn't sorry for them afterwards. "I'm not marrying Blaise. I won't."

All three looked at her with wide eyes. Blaise's hand on her shoulder tightened. She hated that she was hurting him, he had been a good friend, but she just couldn't do it. She stood and wouldn't back down. "I can't. I won't marry him. I won't marry anyone."I can't marry someone I don't love.

Maeve tried to argue, but Tracey stood firm. "I've done everything you've ever asked me. I won't do this."

"You can't be serious, dearest. We only want what's best," her father offered, pulling out his pocket handkerchief and wiping his brow.

"It's settled. You're marrying into the Zabini family and that's that," Maeve countered.

Tracey gave them a look that she hadn't felt brave enough to in over 8 years. "I won't marry him. You cannot design the perfect marriage. There is no hope and love and fire here and I would rather not marry than give in to this marriage of convenience. I gave in to you once, I gave up the only thing worth keeping, I won't do it again. I am not marrying anyone."

There was a stunned silence as she stood and crossed the room to the window. She fingered the drapes while cursing herself for bring him up. It had been the closest thing to mentioning Theo that she'd done since school. It physically hurt to think of him and how weak she was to allow herself to be persuaded to give him up, but at least she was content with the knowledge that it really had been for his good.

Well, not content, but she knew she had been right at the time - he had become a success. She'd followed his stellar career enough in the papers and research journals that her father subscribed to to know that. He was even successful enough to be mentioned occasionally in the society pages and knowing that he was doing well was the only thing that kept her afloat. Knowing that he was in a fairy publicized relationship and that they looked happy, kept her from running to him and begging him to take her back, to forgive her foolishness, even years later. She knew that he had to hate her now and never thought of her other than to be grateful that he hadn't had her to drag him down all these years. Knowing that kept her from running away from everything that she knew and starting again somewhere that her parents and the pain of knowing what a terrible person she was couldn't harass her every moment of every day. She deserved this.

It wasn't but a moment, but it felt like forever until Aunt Lanie stood next to her and put her arm softly on Tracey's shoulder. "Tracey dear, as much as I'd love to have you as my daughter, I only want you to be happy. You must marry, but if you can't allow yourself to marry your closest friend then perhaps you will appreciate our help - my help - in finding someone else that is suitable. Perhaps you can find him at the benefit gala on Friday."

Tracey ignored her godmother and turned to her father. "Friday?"

Malcolm nodded sadly. He had never wanted to hurt his daughter. She was the one good thing he had created almost completely on his own. He'd inherited his fortune. He'd had a partner in business. And while his high society wife 'technically' had a hand in her creation, it really had been him who had molded her into the brilliant mind and caring woman she was now. "BowmanDavis is contracting out to a new research facility, St. Martin's, for the newly designed broomstick division, and we are hosting an event to encourage their board of directors to permanently become affiliated with the conglomerate."

"St. Martins Research Facility?" Tracey blanched. "I'm not expected to be there, am I?" She couldn't. He worked there.

Maeve Davis glared at her daughter. It would not do to have Tracey start arguing with them. She would have her way in this, but for now she would sit and wait and defer to her husband and his softness. Tracey would do as she was told. "You'll be there. If you're insistent on this refusal to marry, then you will be responsible to learn the business, or at least learn who to trust so they can run the company when your father is gone. I'm sure Blaise will accompany you, it's at the Ashcroft Hotel in Diagon."

Looking up at Blaise, Tracey shook her head slowly. "I don't need an escort," she whispered. He won't be there, she repeated in her head over and over again. I'm not ready to see him again.

---

Theodore lived a comfortable life. He had endured finishing school without a girlfriend and quite lonely, having forged no friendships during his time there. He had spent too much of his time focusing on his relationship with Tracey and she'd broken up with him too close to the end of term for him to start. After leaving school, he moved to London where his mother put him up in a flat while he found a job. He'd found one at a research facility where he could work with charms, his best subject. After his mum paid a few month's rent he was well and truly on his own. He still spoke with his mother every Sunday without fail, her talking for hours. He listened willingly, loving the closeness that he felt with few others. She was almost always in high-spirits about something or another, not letting the lack of the wealth she was used to get to her and for that he was grateful.

In his career, he moved up rapidly, getting promotion after promotion for his ideas -- sometimes even ground-breaking -- in charms and after all of his hard work he finally landed the position as Director of the Charms Research at the St. Martin's Research Facility. He realized soon that he was at the bottom of the hill and everything rolled downhill, being his fault when he sometimes had nothing to do with it, but he took it in stride, loving the hands-on work that he did. Much to his superior's displeasure, he made sure he was able to actually participate in the research rather than just pushing paperwork.

At his mother's encouragement only, Theo dated here and there. The women he saw were fascinating but he could never quite get Tracey out of his head. He hadn't slept with anyone... not even in nearly a decade. It was something he couldn't bring himself to do. For a year now, he had been exclusively seeing Shannon Reynolds, but he knew it was going nowhere. The woman was high maintenance and wanted him to commit before he was ready. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready. It's not that she wasn't a lovely witch. She was beautiful and sexy, but none of it mattered, Shannon just wasn't her.

Shannon walked through the door to his office, a broad smile on her face. "Theo, dear!" she greeted him happily, coming around the desk to kiss him chastely.

"Good afternoon, Shannon. What brings you here?" Theo asked, trying to mask his irritability. He hated it when Shannon just randomly stopped by. He didn't like surprises or a break in his work routine.

Shannon tossed her blond hair over her shoulder and continued to smile. "To see you of course."

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask why she hadn't owled first, but bit the words back, not wanting to get in a petty argument with her. It wasn't worth it. "I don't go for lunch for two hours yet," he said, dropping his eyes back down to the paperwork in front of him.

Shannon sat on the edge of his desk, smiling softly and looking at him through her long lashes. "I can keep you company until then," she offered sweetly. Something by her tone told him that she didn't want to keep him company by talking. She had something else in mind.

"As lovely as that sounds, I have a meeting in twenty minutes," Theo told her, forcing disappointment into his voice.

She sighed, frowning. "All right. Two hours you say?"

He nodded.

"I'll be back then." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. Standing up looked at him with genuine disappointment and admiration before leaving the office. He didn't have anything left to say, and was actually glad that she left so easily. It wasn't always that easy to get rid of Shannon.

Theo leaned back in his seat and sighed heavily. He knew he was going to have to break it off with her soon. She wanted sex and marriage and perhaps children, but he didn't want any of that from her. Shannon was fun to spend time with and she was sexy as hell, but she wasn't who he saw spending the rest of his life with. He couldn't see that with anyone. And commitment was a requirement for sex with him.

Once she'd left he turned his attention back to the paperwork before him and the twenty minutes ticked by quickly. Before he knew it, his superior, Mr. Davids was standing at his door.

"Mr. Nott, time for the meeting."

Theo stood up immediately, heading for the board room. The four other members, besides Mr. Davids, were already there sitting around the long table. Theo took his seat, waiting for the meeting to start.

"The only reason for this meeting," the Director of the Board at St. Martin's Research Facility started in a calm voice, "is to discuss our impending work with BowmanDavis. They are investing in broomsticks and would like us to do the research on the best charms to work with. On top of that, they would like a representative from this facility to attend their party Friday night." He turned to look directly at Theo. "Mr. Nott, we would like you to attend the gala as well. All of the members attending this meeting should attend. It would be an appropriate way to increase and stabilize our support for the future and continuing relations with the company."

Theo nodded his understanding and acceptance. "I'd be honoured." He was glad that a benefit gala wouldn't be a place that the young heiress to the BowmanDavis fortune would be required to attend.

"Good, good!" The Board Director said, standing up. "Mr. Davids has the information. Now if you'll excuse me, I have ten minutes to get on the golf course to help communicate with Apple Industries."

Theo waited for the Board Director to be out of the room before he rolled his eyes. Playing golf was not a way to help communicate with one of their customers. It was merely an excuse for the Board Director to partake in his favorite pastime. Theo turned to Mr. Davids. "What is the specifics of this party I'm supposed to go to?"

#fanfic: harry potter, fanfic: chaptered: harry potter, !fanfic, fanfic: lost without each other

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