(no subject)
There are things that happen in life. You hear about them on the news, or even from friends. These things happen to other people, and you feel bad for them, offer to help, and think, "man I hope I never have to go through that." But deep down you really can't imagine that it ever will. There is no way to wrap your head around what it would be like, and picturing it happening to you is about the same as imagining yourself growing a second head or suddenly having pokadotted hair growing from your scalp. It's just not something we can really believe could happen.
And then it does. And when it does, it feels like a dream. It's almost impossible to place yourself in the situation, because these sorts of things happen to OTHER people. Any minute now, you know you're going to wake up. You'll wake up and he'll be laying there next to you, no signs of injury, wondering what's wrong. You'll tell him about your crazy dream and he'll hold you to comfort you through the residual fear.
Of course, it's not a dream. And I find myself wondering if it will ever really feel "real". My mom complimented me on how calm I've been able to remain through all of this (not exactly my strong point by any means). I wonder if part of that calm is due to this weird detachment I'm feeling. I know that when I'm with him, the calm comes from him. His strength through all of this brings me a hope that washes over me and brings me peace - just as he has always done for me during times of stress. But when I'm alone, I just keep expecting him to be in the other room, playing video games, working on a car, researching on his computer, talking on the phone, or puttering in the garage.
Everything is quickly getting better right now, he's healing so much faster than the doctors expected - On Monday they told him he'd need to have skin graft surgery on Thursday. By Wednesday they'd canceled the surgery and switched him from the medicine that removes dead tissue to the "healing" medicine because he'd already reached that point. It's hard to explain what a big deal that is without going into a huge explanation about how burn recovery works, but it really is a big deal.
He's currently supposed to come home on Wednesday, assuming everything continues at this pace. I have no idea what to expect after that. We'd be crazy to think things would be back to "normal". They say it takes a year or more to truly be "healed" and even then, he'll have scars that will morph and change for the rest of his life.
It's amazing how much a split second decision can change your life.
And then it does. And when it does, it feels like a dream. It's almost impossible to place yourself in the situation, because these sorts of things happen to OTHER people. Any minute now, you know you're going to wake up. You'll wake up and he'll be laying there next to you, no signs of injury, wondering what's wrong. You'll tell him about your crazy dream and he'll hold you to comfort you through the residual fear.
Of course, it's not a dream. And I find myself wondering if it will ever really feel "real". My mom complimented me on how calm I've been able to remain through all of this (not exactly my strong point by any means). I wonder if part of that calm is due to this weird detachment I'm feeling. I know that when I'm with him, the calm comes from him. His strength through all of this brings me a hope that washes over me and brings me peace - just as he has always done for me during times of stress. But when I'm alone, I just keep expecting him to be in the other room, playing video games, working on a car, researching on his computer, talking on the phone, or puttering in the garage.
Everything is quickly getting better right now, he's healing so much faster than the doctors expected - On Monday they told him he'd need to have skin graft surgery on Thursday. By Wednesday they'd canceled the surgery and switched him from the medicine that removes dead tissue to the "healing" medicine because he'd already reached that point. It's hard to explain what a big deal that is without going into a huge explanation about how burn recovery works, but it really is a big deal.
He's currently supposed to come home on Wednesday, assuming everything continues at this pace. I have no idea what to expect after that. We'd be crazy to think things would be back to "normal". They say it takes a year or more to truly be "healed" and even then, he'll have scars that will morph and change for the rest of his life.
It's amazing how much a split second decision can change your life.