'cause i'm full as a tick & i'm scratching at the surface.
…because I really want to share this with someone but I don't want to post it publicly on tumblr because I want to surprise them with just how much I can make them hate me when I make them all sad about Scott McCall: so. I guess this all starts with the explanation that I'm doing a thing. nominally, it is a porn thing, specifically a porn thing of a Scott/Derek angstysad college AU sort of nature where Scott is a student and Derek's a TA and they have sex at a party.
and the angstysad part here is that Derek is in love with Scott but Scott's not in love with Derek, Scott is kind of just using Derek for sex and validation because it feels like everything in Scott's world is going to Hell right now and everything sucks, and Scott's insecure and needy tonight, and he wants to feel wanted, and he wants validation, and he has a giant pile of issues that have mostly gone unaddressed by anyone because Scott puts other people before himself to a fault and insists that he does not have problems in the first place because he doesn't think his own problems are any kind of important, and Scott really truly hates himself tonight, and Scott just loves everyone so much but only really feels like he’s getting that love back from Stiles and Derek probably doesn't really love Scott but he wants Scott and Scott wants to feel wanted and the fact that Derek wants Scott is enough for tonight because Scott just wants someone to fuck him until he can't feel feelings anymore.
and he knows he's using Derek and using Derek's crush on him for his own benefit without actually planning to give Derek more than a one-night stand, and Scott feels kind of bad about that because he objects to a lot of things that Derek does and a lot of things that Derek chooses to be but he doesn't really hate Derek or anything… but by the same token, Derek uses other people for his own selfish reasons as a matter of course so it's kind of like divine retribution in a way (which Scott doesn't really entirely buy as a valid justification for why he's doing the thing but well, Stiles and Danny aren't immediately around at the moment to tell Scott that sleeping with Derek is a monumentally bad idea no matter what Scott's bullshit justification for doing the thing is so Scott's going through with it).
so, I was prodding fic!Scott tonight before during and after class, trying to figure out why he's so down that he's actually going to sleep with Derek in a way that's so unlike Scott's usual behavior that I'm kind of considering saying that I wrote it for the, "role reversal" prompt at Scott/Derek week on tumblr even though this is an after the fact application of said prompt. and, uh. so… Scott's a sophomore or a junior at Wherever The Fuck University Place Thing. Blobfish happens to live in the area and Scott's aware of that because of the return addresses on the child support checks that Blobfish actually ever remembered to send. Scott's been trying to get into contact with Blobfish since his freshman year and trying to establish some kind of relationship, and Blobfish has mostly just ignored him, and it's a decently sized town so they haven't run into each other accidentally yet…
until one day when Scott swings by like, the drugstore or the Walmart or something after class because he needs to pick up a new inhaler and Stiles is sick and miserable and wants Scott to bring him junk food and please do the thing for him Scotty please please pretty please you're Stiles's favorite person in the entire world… and fic!Scott has issues that would be called an eating disorder if he'd ever been caught, but unlike current rp!Scott, fic!Scott hasn't gotten caught yet, so like. the list of junk food that Stiles wants Scott to bring home for him makes Scott feel slightly ill because he's like, "Stiles, none of this has any positive nutritional value, it's like asking to have a heart attack or develop Type 2 Diabetes by the time you're twenty-five, you're sick, you should be eating better than this, why do you want to put these things in your body"
and Stiles is like, "I WANT TO PUT THEM IN MY BODY BECAUSE I'M SICK AND ICE CREAM AND CHEETOS TASTE GOOD SCOTT YOU KNOW YOU COULD SERIOUSLY STAND TO LET UP ON THE NOT-DIET YOU'RE NEEDLESSLY PERPETUALLY ON PLEASE DO THE THING FOR ME PLEEEEASE"
and… well, Scott is like silly puddy for Stiles when he starts begging, so Scott's going to do the thing… and today of all days happens to be the day when he accidentally runs into Blobfish at the store. because Blobfish is also at the pharmacy. and Blobfish is there with a rather younger looking white woman (like… if Melissa and Blobfish are in their middle to late forties, then Sophie is maybe in her early to mid thirties, so it's not a completely egregious age gap but it's a noticeable one) and a little girl who's probably three or four. and the little girl is sick and coughing but she's holding Blobfish's hand and calling him, "daddy."
and oh god I just thought of how to make it even worse: so the little girl's name is Amber, and Amber wanders away from Sophie and Blobfish because she wanted to look at a teddy bear or stuffed unicorn or something, and then she's lost, and she's not supposed to talk to strangers… but she's lost and she wanders into Scott while he's picking out Stiles's ice cream and he looks nice, so she's all, "my name's Amber, I'm lost, can you help me find my mom and dad? :(" and Scott being Scott naturally says yes because… lost little kid who's sad and looking for her parents, Scott has his helping people thing, and then they find Amber's parents, who are looking for her too, and she lets go of Scott's hand and runs over, shouting, "daddy!" and…
well, then her parents are Blobfish and his new wife. and Scott is going to just slink away before anything can happen because he'd recognize Blobfish's face anywhere and lol no Scott is not going to do this right now it has been a very stressful week and Facebook won't stop telling him how happy Allison is with her new girlfriend and Isaac doesn't notice him and Danny talks about how Scott's really pretty but it'd be weird to sleep with him because they're such good friends and Boyd is into Erica and everything is kind of awful and Scott really can't do the thing where he has to deal with his dad right now… but Amber, being a four year old, has to point out the nice boy who helped her get back to Sophie and Blobfish.
and Sophie, being a polite and appreciative parent who has heard about the fact that Scott and Melissa exist but hasn't seen a picture of Scott (or at least not a picture of him that's any kind of recent) and definitely hasn't heard the whole story of anything because she heard it all from Blobfish… well, she has to thank the nice boy who helped Amber get back to her and Blobfish. and Scott is actively trying to just not mention that he's Blobfish's son, but Blobfish has to go and bring it up for him and then the thanking turns into, "oh my god, you're *Scott*? your father's told me so much about you… did you really go as Wonder Woman for Halloween when you were six, that's so adorable" (which is just like… well, thank you, Blobfish, apparently you can talk to your new wife *about* Scott, but you can't be bothered to reply to Scott's phone calls and emails and junk).
and then Blobfish eyes the pile of junk food in Scott's basket and triggering comments about it are made (but Blobfish makes them as "jokes" so it's not even like Scott can call him on this without looking completely unreasonable and like he doesn't have a sense of humor and if he tried to call Blobfish on this, he might end up vocally admitting to things he hasn't even admitted to Stiles and Scott doesn't want to do that because then someone would know that he probably has a problem and well, Blobfish probably wouldn't do a damn thing about it but it would still suck and give him something he could wield over Scott), and Sophie asks what Scott's studying at the college and Blobfish invalidates it, and Scott tries to say that the junk food is for Stiles but Blobfish is like, "lol yeah right of course it is" and…
well, Scott comes home to his, Danny, and Stiles's apartment in a total Mood but doesn't talk about it, just kind of gives Stiles his junk food, waits for Stiles to fall asleep on the couch, and then makes himself sick up because… maybe he "behaved" himself today food wise, but Scott feels feelings and they hurt and making himself throw up makes them hurt slightly less.
flash forward two weeks: Scott still hasn't told Stiles about what happened with Blobfish at Walmart, and Stiles is kind of concerned because Scott's been moody and not eating that much and apparently "jogging" so hard in the mornings that Scott's come home and had an asthma attack more than once, but Scott insists that he is fine, just kind of stressed because of midterms, so Stiles goes back to Beacon Hills for the weekend for the Sheriff's birthday and Scott goes to the party that Lydia somehow managed to convince Cora that they needed to host at the house Laura, Derek, and Cora all share. and Danny's over by the liquor and flirting with Ethan, and Boyd is kind of watching on wistfully while Isaac and Erica tag-team Jackson on the makeshift dance-floor, and Lydia and Cora are making out on the couch, and Scott is alone in a crowded room and Scott feels every single last one of his feelings and *they hurt like a motherfucker*…
but then Laura makes Derek come out of his bedroom to be social with people (even though all he does at first is brood over by the wall) and Scott has mixed feelings about all of the things he's thinking about doing and he's pretty sure he'll hate himself for doing it in the morning, but… he's needy and emotional, and he wants validation, and he wants to feel wanted, and he wants to make a huge blatant fuck up mistake because he's tired of busting ass to be so perfect all the time when it doesn't ever get him anything but he can't let himself fuck up anything else because he has too many hang-ups about things like skipping class or skipping work or skipping meetings of his extracurricular activities or not turning in assignments and so on and so forth and anyway he's pretty sure fucking the guy who made him an entirely Taylor Swift mix CD one time and doesn't understand the meaning of the words, "no" or, "boundaries" counts as a huge blatant fuck up mistake, and he wants to get laid so someone will fuck him until he can't feel feelings anymore, and he wants to think that doing this thing would piss off his sperm donor even though he knows that Blobfish really doesn't care.
and on top of that, Scott hasn't really eaten enough today because Stiles left on an early flight back to California (or possibly back up north, I need to actually figure out where the Hell they're going to school) and Danny had a different break between classes than Scott did today and for the past two weeks since the incident with Amber, Sophie, and Blobfish, Scott… really just hasn't done the eating thing unless someone's there and Scott has to eat something in order to convince them that he is normal and does not have weird eating disorder-y food and control and body image related issues to worry about, and… well, this particular restriction spiral is such that Scott hasn't been throwing up daily because someone made him eat a sandwich or something, but… if he's not doing that, then he's probably overdoing it at the gym instead, and this really doesn't add up to a completely clear head or decent decision making skills, and…
see, Derek is somewhat concerned by the fact that Scott starts talking to him at all since this is not generally a thing that Scott does unless Scott wants to yell at him about how breaking people's arms is rude and legally considered assault and what the fuck was he even thinking. and Derek is mildly perturbed when Scott kisses him because this is also not generally a thing that Scott does like at all, ever, because Scott most often puts his mouth to work telling Derek that he's just not that into him. and Derek is just outright worried when Scott propositions him for sex because… well, the last time Derek asked if Scott wanted to have sex with him, Scott said no and then stormed out of that particular party so Derek couldn't keep asking him about the thing. but on the one hand, Scott says that he's just had a really shitty day and he wants to have sex with someone and he'd like it if that someone were Derek because it would make him feel better (which plays right into Derek's desire for Scott to pay attention to him and like him and stuff, and right into Derek's desire for someone to think that he is anything but a shiftless fuck up), and on the other hand, Derek isn't really so great in the morality department most of the time and he gets a seriously negative modifier to his morality checks when he's being tempted by things like having sex with Scott McCall, soooo they go to Derek's room and Scott tells Derek to fuck him until he can't feel feelings.
…I have not yet entirely worked out what happens after the sex, but Scott will probably fall asleep or something because he's exhausted and he hasn't really eaten today, and after that… I don't know. I'm torn between, "Scott wakes up before Derek and sneaks out without Derek noticing and does the walk of shame back to his and Stiles's and Danny's apartment as the sun rises and he doesn't really feel good about himself for what he did last night but he doesn't really regret it either and even after he takes a shower, he still thinks he smells like sex and Derek" and,
"Scott wakes up before Derek and tries to sneak out, but Derek wakes up and goes… 'but where are you running off to, it's Saturday, you can spare some time to like take a break and go easy on yourself for once and we could cuddle I know you like to cuddle because you were cuddling me pretty hardcore last night, or you could at least let me make you breakfast, I'm not just some heartless asshole who only wanted you for your body, Scott, I really like you, please let me make you breakfast :( *is also totally worried because Scott looks tired and rather like he's lost weight lately, and Derek still hasn't exactly shaken off the worry about Scott actually wanting to sleep with him in the first place, and he's trying not to say these things because he can't think of how to say them without sounding like a douche in ways that make Scott not want to fuck him anymore and Derek doesn't like the sound of that because he'd really like to have sex with Scott again sometime or take him to the movies or y'know whatever Scott wants to do*'…
"and well, Scott doesn't actually want to be mean to Derek because he already feels guilty as fuck for using Derek for sex and validation, but as Scott is getting dressed and trying to make excuses, Derek really will not drop the issue of Scott letting Derek make him breakfast and okay he doesn't know about Scott's undiagnosed eating disorder (because no one knows about this, though a few people have their suspicions though because of the gendered cultural baggage associated with eating disorders, most people probably don't assume that Scott has an ED, like Lydia might, but Danny is probably more likely to suspect depression [which isn't entirely wrong either] and Stiles is probably legitimately worried that Scott has some weird exceptionally rare stomach parasite that it's literally impossible for Scott to have)… but when Derek starts bragging about how great his chocolate chip pancakes are, Scott kind of snaps a little because… they do sound like delicious pancakes and Scott is hungry and he wants to eat them but he shouldn't want to eat them because he hasn't had chocolate chip pancakes since like his freshman year of high school and wanting to eat them makes him weak, and dammit Derek stop making Scott feel even worse for using you for sex and validation by being nice to him, and stop making him feel like shit by reminding him of all the things he can't let himself eat, and…
"I don't know how this scenario ends, but it probably goes one of two ways: Scott makes some kind of excuse and begs off and says he'll see Derek around but doesn't actually intend to call Derek or anything, or Scott siiiiighs and stops fighting and stays for breakfast, then begs off and goes home and makes himself throw up, then curls up in his bed with his old stuffed stegosaurus and cries because… nope, Scott still hates himself and everything is fucking terrible and he has no idea who he can talk to about it because Melissa and Deaton and the Sheriff are back home in Beacon Hills, and Blobfish doesn't care like never mind the fact that he's a huge reason why Scott has these issues in the first place he just doesn't want anything to do with Scott, and Stiles and Lydia and Danny have their own problems to worry about and Scott shouldn't be the deadweight around their ankles like he's thinking of doing, and Isaac and Erica and Boyd and Cora are… sort of kind of friends but they're more like acquaintances really and anyway even if he felt comfortable telling them the things, they probably don't want to hear about Scott's issues, and Scott and Allison are still friends and whatnot but she's off at her expensive women's college in Massachusetts and she's really happy with her new girlfriend and calling her up to go, 'I really think I have a problem, I think I need help, everything is wrong and I can't eat anything without punishing myself and I don't know what to do about it' would just make Scott feel like he's ruining her happiness, and Scott's professors probably wouldn't believe him because he hasn't let his grades slip, and… well, there's Derek, sure, but… Scott just used Derek for sex and validation, and Scott snapped at him for being nice, and Scott can't take his problems out on Derek on top of that too, and everything is terrible forever."
so… TL;DR point… I'm going to Hell. Again. Because this is somehow news. Blah blah blah, I'm sad about Scott McCall and I'm on a mission from Loki to make everybody else sad about Scott McCall too. …and knowing me, I will probably go with the option where Scott cries. because that sounds like it will hurt and I like making people feel things.
and the angstysad part here is that Derek is in love with Scott but Scott's not in love with Derek, Scott is kind of just using Derek for sex and validation because it feels like everything in Scott's world is going to Hell right now and everything sucks, and Scott's insecure and needy tonight, and he wants to feel wanted, and he wants validation, and he has a giant pile of issues that have mostly gone unaddressed by anyone because Scott puts other people before himself to a fault and insists that he does not have problems in the first place because he doesn't think his own problems are any kind of important, and Scott really truly hates himself tonight, and Scott just loves everyone so much but only really feels like he’s getting that love back from Stiles and Derek probably doesn't really love Scott but he wants Scott and Scott wants to feel wanted and the fact that Derek wants Scott is enough for tonight because Scott just wants someone to fuck him until he can't feel feelings anymore.
and he knows he's using Derek and using Derek's crush on him for his own benefit without actually planning to give Derek more than a one-night stand, and Scott feels kind of bad about that because he objects to a lot of things that Derek does and a lot of things that Derek chooses to be but he doesn't really hate Derek or anything… but by the same token, Derek uses other people for his own selfish reasons as a matter of course so it's kind of like divine retribution in a way (which Scott doesn't really entirely buy as a valid justification for why he's doing the thing but well, Stiles and Danny aren't immediately around at the moment to tell Scott that sleeping with Derek is a monumentally bad idea no matter what Scott's bullshit justification for doing the thing is so Scott's going through with it).
so, I was prodding fic!Scott tonight before during and after class, trying to figure out why he's so down that he's actually going to sleep with Derek in a way that's so unlike Scott's usual behavior that I'm kind of considering saying that I wrote it for the, "role reversal" prompt at Scott/Derek week on tumblr even though this is an after the fact application of said prompt. and, uh. so… Scott's a sophomore or a junior at Wherever The Fuck University Place Thing. Blobfish happens to live in the area and Scott's aware of that because of the return addresses on the child support checks that Blobfish actually ever remembered to send. Scott's been trying to get into contact with Blobfish since his freshman year and trying to establish some kind of relationship, and Blobfish has mostly just ignored him, and it's a decently sized town so they haven't run into each other accidentally yet…
until one day when Scott swings by like, the drugstore or the Walmart or something after class because he needs to pick up a new inhaler and Stiles is sick and miserable and wants Scott to bring him junk food and please do the thing for him Scotty please please pretty please you're Stiles's favorite person in the entire world… and fic!Scott has issues that would be called an eating disorder if he'd ever been caught, but unlike current rp!Scott, fic!Scott hasn't gotten caught yet, so like. the list of junk food that Stiles wants Scott to bring home for him makes Scott feel slightly ill because he's like, "Stiles, none of this has any positive nutritional value, it's like asking to have a heart attack or develop Type 2 Diabetes by the time you're twenty-five, you're sick, you should be eating better than this, why do you want to put these things in your body"
and Stiles is like, "I WANT TO PUT THEM IN MY BODY BECAUSE I'M SICK AND ICE CREAM AND CHEETOS TASTE GOOD SCOTT YOU KNOW YOU COULD SERIOUSLY STAND TO LET UP ON THE NOT-DIET YOU'RE NEEDLESSLY PERPETUALLY ON PLEASE DO THE THING FOR ME PLEEEEASE"
and… well, Scott is like silly puddy for Stiles when he starts begging, so Scott's going to do the thing… and today of all days happens to be the day when he accidentally runs into Blobfish at the store. because Blobfish is also at the pharmacy. and Blobfish is there with a rather younger looking white woman (like… if Melissa and Blobfish are in their middle to late forties, then Sophie is maybe in her early to mid thirties, so it's not a completely egregious age gap but it's a noticeable one) and a little girl who's probably three or four. and the little girl is sick and coughing but she's holding Blobfish's hand and calling him, "daddy."
and oh god I just thought of how to make it even worse: so the little girl's name is Amber, and Amber wanders away from Sophie and Blobfish because she wanted to look at a teddy bear or stuffed unicorn or something, and then she's lost, and she's not supposed to talk to strangers… but she's lost and she wanders into Scott while he's picking out Stiles's ice cream and he looks nice, so she's all, "my name's Amber, I'm lost, can you help me find my mom and dad? :(" and Scott being Scott naturally says yes because… lost little kid who's sad and looking for her parents, Scott has his helping people thing, and then they find Amber's parents, who are looking for her too, and she lets go of Scott's hand and runs over, shouting, "daddy!" and…
well, then her parents are Blobfish and his new wife. and Scott is going to just slink away before anything can happen because he'd recognize Blobfish's face anywhere and lol no Scott is not going to do this right now it has been a very stressful week and Facebook won't stop telling him how happy Allison is with her new girlfriend and Isaac doesn't notice him and Danny talks about how Scott's really pretty but it'd be weird to sleep with him because they're such good friends and Boyd is into Erica and everything is kind of awful and Scott really can't do the thing where he has to deal with his dad right now… but Amber, being a four year old, has to point out the nice boy who helped her get back to Sophie and Blobfish.
and Sophie, being a polite and appreciative parent who has heard about the fact that Scott and Melissa exist but hasn't seen a picture of Scott (or at least not a picture of him that's any kind of recent) and definitely hasn't heard the whole story of anything because she heard it all from Blobfish… well, she has to thank the nice boy who helped Amber get back to her and Blobfish. and Scott is actively trying to just not mention that he's Blobfish's son, but Blobfish has to go and bring it up for him and then the thanking turns into, "oh my god, you're *Scott*? your father's told me so much about you… did you really go as Wonder Woman for Halloween when you were six, that's so adorable" (which is just like… well, thank you, Blobfish, apparently you can talk to your new wife *about* Scott, but you can't be bothered to reply to Scott's phone calls and emails and junk).
and then Blobfish eyes the pile of junk food in Scott's basket and triggering comments about it are made (but Blobfish makes them as "jokes" so it's not even like Scott can call him on this without looking completely unreasonable and like he doesn't have a sense of humor and if he tried to call Blobfish on this, he might end up vocally admitting to things he hasn't even admitted to Stiles and Scott doesn't want to do that because then someone would know that he probably has a problem and well, Blobfish probably wouldn't do a damn thing about it but it would still suck and give him something he could wield over Scott), and Sophie asks what Scott's studying at the college and Blobfish invalidates it, and Scott tries to say that the junk food is for Stiles but Blobfish is like, "lol yeah right of course it is" and…
well, Scott comes home to his, Danny, and Stiles's apartment in a total Mood but doesn't talk about it, just kind of gives Stiles his junk food, waits for Stiles to fall asleep on the couch, and then makes himself sick up because… maybe he "behaved" himself today food wise, but Scott feels feelings and they hurt and making himself throw up makes them hurt slightly less.
flash forward two weeks: Scott still hasn't told Stiles about what happened with Blobfish at Walmart, and Stiles is kind of concerned because Scott's been moody and not eating that much and apparently "jogging" so hard in the mornings that Scott's come home and had an asthma attack more than once, but Scott insists that he is fine, just kind of stressed because of midterms, so Stiles goes back to Beacon Hills for the weekend for the Sheriff's birthday and Scott goes to the party that Lydia somehow managed to convince Cora that they needed to host at the house Laura, Derek, and Cora all share. and Danny's over by the liquor and flirting with Ethan, and Boyd is kind of watching on wistfully while Isaac and Erica tag-team Jackson on the makeshift dance-floor, and Lydia and Cora are making out on the couch, and Scott is alone in a crowded room and Scott feels every single last one of his feelings and *they hurt like a motherfucker*…
but then Laura makes Derek come out of his bedroom to be social with people (even though all he does at first is brood over by the wall) and Scott has mixed feelings about all of the things he's thinking about doing and he's pretty sure he'll hate himself for doing it in the morning, but… he's needy and emotional, and he wants validation, and he wants to feel wanted, and he wants to make a huge blatant fuck up mistake because he's tired of busting ass to be so perfect all the time when it doesn't ever get him anything but he can't let himself fuck up anything else because he has too many hang-ups about things like skipping class or skipping work or skipping meetings of his extracurricular activities or not turning in assignments and so on and so forth and anyway he's pretty sure fucking the guy who made him an entirely Taylor Swift mix CD one time and doesn't understand the meaning of the words, "no" or, "boundaries" counts as a huge blatant fuck up mistake, and he wants to get laid so someone will fuck him until he can't feel feelings anymore, and he wants to think that doing this thing would piss off his sperm donor even though he knows that Blobfish really doesn't care.
and on top of that, Scott hasn't really eaten enough today because Stiles left on an early flight back to California (or possibly back up north, I need to actually figure out where the Hell they're going to school) and Danny had a different break between classes than Scott did today and for the past two weeks since the incident with Amber, Sophie, and Blobfish, Scott… really just hasn't done the eating thing unless someone's there and Scott has to eat something in order to convince them that he is normal and does not have weird eating disorder-y food and control and body image related issues to worry about, and… well, this particular restriction spiral is such that Scott hasn't been throwing up daily because someone made him eat a sandwich or something, but… if he's not doing that, then he's probably overdoing it at the gym instead, and this really doesn't add up to a completely clear head or decent decision making skills, and…
see, Derek is somewhat concerned by the fact that Scott starts talking to him at all since this is not generally a thing that Scott does unless Scott wants to yell at him about how breaking people's arms is rude and legally considered assault and what the fuck was he even thinking. and Derek is mildly perturbed when Scott kisses him because this is also not generally a thing that Scott does like at all, ever, because Scott most often puts his mouth to work telling Derek that he's just not that into him. and Derek is just outright worried when Scott propositions him for sex because… well, the last time Derek asked if Scott wanted to have sex with him, Scott said no and then stormed out of that particular party so Derek couldn't keep asking him about the thing. but on the one hand, Scott says that he's just had a really shitty day and he wants to have sex with someone and he'd like it if that someone were Derek because it would make him feel better (which plays right into Derek's desire for Scott to pay attention to him and like him and stuff, and right into Derek's desire for someone to think that he is anything but a shiftless fuck up), and on the other hand, Derek isn't really so great in the morality department most of the time and he gets a seriously negative modifier to his morality checks when he's being tempted by things like having sex with Scott McCall, soooo they go to Derek's room and Scott tells Derek to fuck him until he can't feel feelings.
…I have not yet entirely worked out what happens after the sex, but Scott will probably fall asleep or something because he's exhausted and he hasn't really eaten today, and after that… I don't know. I'm torn between, "Scott wakes up before Derek and sneaks out without Derek noticing and does the walk of shame back to his and Stiles's and Danny's apartment as the sun rises and he doesn't really feel good about himself for what he did last night but he doesn't really regret it either and even after he takes a shower, he still thinks he smells like sex and Derek" and,
"Scott wakes up before Derek and tries to sneak out, but Derek wakes up and goes… 'but where are you running off to, it's Saturday, you can spare some time to like take a break and go easy on yourself for once and we could cuddle I know you like to cuddle because you were cuddling me pretty hardcore last night, or you could at least let me make you breakfast, I'm not just some heartless asshole who only wanted you for your body, Scott, I really like you, please let me make you breakfast :( *is also totally worried because Scott looks tired and rather like he's lost weight lately, and Derek still hasn't exactly shaken off the worry about Scott actually wanting to sleep with him in the first place, and he's trying not to say these things because he can't think of how to say them without sounding like a douche in ways that make Scott not want to fuck him anymore and Derek doesn't like the sound of that because he'd really like to have sex with Scott again sometime or take him to the movies or y'know whatever Scott wants to do*'…
"and well, Scott doesn't actually want to be mean to Derek because he already feels guilty as fuck for using Derek for sex and validation, but as Scott is getting dressed and trying to make excuses, Derek really will not drop the issue of Scott letting Derek make him breakfast and okay he doesn't know about Scott's undiagnosed eating disorder (because no one knows about this, though a few people have their suspicions though because of the gendered cultural baggage associated with eating disorders, most people probably don't assume that Scott has an ED, like Lydia might, but Danny is probably more likely to suspect depression [which isn't entirely wrong either] and Stiles is probably legitimately worried that Scott has some weird exceptionally rare stomach parasite that it's literally impossible for Scott to have)… but when Derek starts bragging about how great his chocolate chip pancakes are, Scott kind of snaps a little because… they do sound like delicious pancakes and Scott is hungry and he wants to eat them but he shouldn't want to eat them because he hasn't had chocolate chip pancakes since like his freshman year of high school and wanting to eat them makes him weak, and dammit Derek stop making Scott feel even worse for using you for sex and validation by being nice to him, and stop making him feel like shit by reminding him of all the things he can't let himself eat, and…
"I don't know how this scenario ends, but it probably goes one of two ways: Scott makes some kind of excuse and begs off and says he'll see Derek around but doesn't actually intend to call Derek or anything, or Scott siiiiighs and stops fighting and stays for breakfast, then begs off and goes home and makes himself throw up, then curls up in his bed with his old stuffed stegosaurus and cries because… nope, Scott still hates himself and everything is fucking terrible and he has no idea who he can talk to about it because Melissa and Deaton and the Sheriff are back home in Beacon Hills, and Blobfish doesn't care like never mind the fact that he's a huge reason why Scott has these issues in the first place he just doesn't want anything to do with Scott, and Stiles and Lydia and Danny have their own problems to worry about and Scott shouldn't be the deadweight around their ankles like he's thinking of doing, and Isaac and Erica and Boyd and Cora are… sort of kind of friends but they're more like acquaintances really and anyway even if he felt comfortable telling them the things, they probably don't want to hear about Scott's issues, and Scott and Allison are still friends and whatnot but she's off at her expensive women's college in Massachusetts and she's really happy with her new girlfriend and calling her up to go, 'I really think I have a problem, I think I need help, everything is wrong and I can't eat anything without punishing myself and I don't know what to do about it' would just make Scott feel like he's ruining her happiness, and Scott's professors probably wouldn't believe him because he hasn't let his grades slip, and… well, there's Derek, sure, but… Scott just used Derek for sex and validation, and Scott snapped at him for being nice, and Scott can't take his problems out on Derek on top of that too, and everything is terrible forever."
so… TL;DR point… I'm going to Hell. Again. Because this is somehow news. Blah blah blah, I'm sad about Scott McCall and I'm on a mission from Loki to make everybody else sad about Scott McCall too. …and knowing me, I will probably go with the option where Scott cries. because that sounds like it will hurt and I like making people feel things.