greatest hits meme… thing.
In celebration of finishing my final paper for my feminist thought class and only having to do one more thing for the semester, a meme that popped up on my friends page. Nabbed from snickfic, though… because I love the sound of my own voice (or rather, because I love talking into the Inter-void), I did thoughts on 25 of my most popular fics, instead of thoughts about 10 of them.
TITLE
FANDOM
AO3 HITS
AO3 KUDOS
AO3 COMMENTS
AO3 BOOKMARKS
NOTES1. It's A Problem Of Disbelief.
Teen Wolf.
4539.
121.
4.
26.
Sterek, empath!Stiles.2. Lost My Light.
Supernatural.
3807.
104.
5.
29.
Dean-centric dark!fic.3. Songs of Love & Hate, or: Alas! A Cornucopia of Love!
Supernatural.
3277.
47.
3.
24.
DCBB fic from 2010.4. Don't Even Bother.
Supernatural.
3146.
26.
3.
4.
chubby!kink, feederism, etc.5. That's Some Atrocious Breach of Privacy (Please, Do It Again).
SPN RPF.
2775.
34.
7.
7.
chubby!kink, feederism, and eating disorders.6. Like the ticking hands on the radium clock.
Supernatural.
2064.
43.
4.
0.
mpreg with trans*!Cas.7. Family is a sentence.
Supernatural.
1618.
27.
4.
2.
mpreg with trans*!Cas.8. Lazy Day.
Supernatural.
1561.
20.
2.
2.
chubby!kink, feederism, D/s.9. There is a crack in everything-that's how the light gets in.
Supernatural.
1524.
18.
0.
0.
mpreg with trans*!Cas.10. They've summoned up a thundercloud.
Supernatural.
1483.
33.
1.
1.
the start of the trans*!Cas verse.11. Twenty-One to Zip (Doctor, Doctor, Gimme The News).
Supernatural.
1459.
27.
1.
4.
chubby!Dean/Doctor Sexy.12. Being Good Isn't Always Easy.
Supernatural.
1449.
29.
1.
5.
castielfest fic.13. Whether It Works Or Not.
Supernatural.
1296.
31.
5.
5.
genderqueer!Dean and 2014!Cas college au.14. Library Love Song.
Supernatural RPF.
1255.
43.
0.
5.
Dean/Cas secret santa fic, 2012.15. In Quarter Tones to Ten.
Supernatural RPF.
1229.
19.
0.
6.
dc_dystopia fic, 2012.16. As From A Chrysalis.
Supernatural RPF.
1200.
17.
0.
7.
chubby!kink and body image issues.17. Richard Siken Can Bite Me.
Supernatural.
1184.
38.
0.
9.
uhm. it's my second-person POV fic about Dean's problems.18. Cicatrix.
Teen Wolf.
1143.
49.
4.
6.
kink_bingo fic, really silly little thing.19. An Uncomplicated Social Call.
Supernatural.
1112.
106.
6.
19.
Dean and Charlie talk about how he's bi.20. Underlying Causes.
Supernatural/Star Trek: TOS.
1052.
29.
2.
2.
uhm. Dean and Jim talk about John stuff, then Jim, Bones, and Spock talk about John stuff. Warning for abuse.21. Untitled (Danny/Jackson).
Teen Wolf.
1031.
43.
1.
4.
kink_bingo drabble sequence, BDSM AU.22. Everything You Ever.
Supernatural.
1028.
14.
2.
3.
uhm. chubby!Dean/John!Azazel. not a very nice fic.23. All King David's Children.
Supernatural.
989.
33.
1.
1.
backstory to the mpreg trans*!Cas fic.24. In Order To Possess Mere Consolations.
SPN RPF.
961.
14.
3.
1.
eating disorders, eating disorders, and more eating disorders.25. Secrets.
Adventure Time.
955.
40.
0.
5.
Marceline/Bubblegum blood-drinking drabble.
1. It's A Problem Of Disbelief.
Words cannot describe how much I hate that this is my most popular fic. Especially since I know it's only gotten as many kudos and hits and whatnots because it's Stiles/Derek, not because it's actually any kind of good. Because as far as fics go, it's really mediocre? Like, I enjoyed writing the Stiles/Derek snapping at each other, and there's some frottage porn at the end, but for the most part… yeah, it's just really mediocre, with a pretty ridiculous set-up, and it wasn't even that good at fulfilling the kinks that the person I wrote it for likes, and I hate how it's any kind of popular at all. The killer is that I don't even really ship Stiles/Derek. On my bad days, I view this fic's popularity as some kind of cosmic retribution for writing something that I don't ship. :\
2. Lost My Light.
I wrote this in 2010, and it remains one of my favorite fics that I've written. It's basically a 12,000-ish-word treatise about Dean's self-loathing and his depression and all kinds of unpleasant things. It's full of self-harm, and non-con, and eating disorders, and I was just in a really bad place when I wrote it, but… you know what? I got a really good fic out of that bad place, and I'm pleased as punch that it's my second most popular fic. And for some reason, a lot of people compliment me on it, so… it's a good fic and it makes me happy that I wrote it.
3. Songs of Love & Hate, or: Alas! A Cornucopia of Love!
I HATE THIS FIC AND EVERYTHING THAT I CHOSE TO MAKE IT. It's the only big bang fic that I've actually finished-at least, it's the only big bang fic that I've finished for one of the major BBs-and I hate it so much. It's like a 52k crack fic, for fuck's sake, and even if I wrote some entertaining banter, I just don't think it was worth the effort that I put into it, especially since it's actually kind of misogynistic in its treatment of Meg and the roles that I gave to Becky and Lisa, and the way I didn't bring Anna back when I could've, and it's just a total shit-show of a would-be romcom satire that wasn't nearly as satirical as it could've been, I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.
4. Don't Even Bother.
I still don't even know how this fic happened, aside from, "I had some time on my hands and a bunch of bingo prompts to turn into fic, so I did." And the end result of this is some big bang-length schmoop fest about feederism. Which sort of makes me feel… I don't really know how it makes me feel, to be honest. Half the time, I think most people are only reading this fic in the first place out of some kind of, "wow what a freak show" impulse or like, some kind of, "wow why would you even write this" morbid curiosity sort of thing, because like. Because it has to do with feederism, and because Dean and Cas are fat in the fic, and because it's like… most people don't get that this really means a lot to me for a lot of different reasons that I don't feel like going into here? I feel like most people don't really care. There will be people who get the kinks and some people who don't, but I worry that more people don't get the kinks than do. also, it has genderqueer!Dean, pretty much because I could and I felt like it.
5. That's Some Atrocious Breach of Privacy (Please, Do It Again).
This fic is my baby, it's two chapters away from being done, and I don't even know where to begin talking about it, or what I'd even say if I knew where to start. When I started writing it, it was going to be a much more traditional feederism and/or chubby!kink and/or weight gain fic, with all the tropes in place, where Jensen was, as a feedee, excited about gaining weight and where Misha was really resistant to the idea, but then started going along with it more readily-but then Misha's resistance to the idea started looking more and more like an eating disorder, and I was really not okay and really uncomfortable with the original direction that the fic was going to take for a lot of reasons… and I like the way that things have turned out a lot more? it makes the fic harder to really classify-it's partly a feeder!kink fic, but partly an eating disorder angst fic with loads of character study, but partly a fic about Jensen and Misha's friendship and how Misha has a crush on Jensen but is really just in love with the idea of being in love-but it's endeared the fic to me a lot more, and made it a lot more important to me overall.
…and to think this all started with a prompt on a chubwinchesters meme that anybody else would've written in, like, five or six-thousand words, and made a lot more effective as a locus for getting off than I've managed to make this fic in all 180ish-k of it (plus the additional 120ish-k of side-stories and interludes).
6. Like the ticking hands on the radium clock.
This is another case of, "I don't know how the fuck this fic happened, except that I had some time on my hands and some bingo prompts to play with," but the basic impetus behind the fic's existence was, "why aren't there more trans* interpretations of the characters in mpreg fic? I want to rectify this." So I tried. I don't really know that I succeeded or did very well at all, but I did try.
7. Family is a sentence.
More from the same series as "radium clock"-this one's about Cas trying to reach out to his family and his family being total douchebags about it, in varying degrees. Balthazar and Cupid come off the worst out of everyone because Balthazar deliberately misgenders Cas and Cupid deliberately says eating disorder triggering thing, while Rachel and Anna come out the best and Gabriel comes out somewhere in the middle.
8. Lazy Day.
We don't talk about this fic. Based on the comments it's gotten, I'm pretty sure that people really only read this fic out of some, "wow what a freak show" or, "wow why would you even write this" kind of impulse. Which makes me sad and frustrated and it makes me feel really lonely, but… c'est la vie, when writing stuff about feederism and fat characters in sexualized situations, I guess.
9. There is a crack in everything-that's how the light gets in.
There's really not a lot to say about this fic, except that it's the point in the "radium clock" series where it all actually becomes an mpreg fic.
10. They've summoned up a thundercloud.
Because this is the fic that started the "radium clock" series, and it wasn't originally an mpreg fic. It became an mpreg fic by complete accident of hc_bingo prompts and me being like, "wow a lot of mpreg fic could really use some trans* interpretations." Originally, it was just a ficlet thing that I wrote about trans*!Cas and his Dean because I felt like it and I could, and I had some prompts to fill for a challenge community thing.
11. Twenty-One to Zip (Doctor, Doctor, Gimme The News).
…this fic is another example of a fic that was a happy accident. I wrote it because someone didn't get their present fic in a chubwinchesters exchange meme, based on a prompt that they'd seconded on a request anything meme, and… you know what? It worked out pretty well.
12. Being Good Isn't Always Easy.
I HATE THIS FIC SO FUCKING MUCH, WHY IS IT EVEN POPULAR. It's just really pointless and it's really ridiculous and it spawned a 'verse that I'm never putting on AO3 ever because I am hardcore ashamed of the fact that I ever wrote those ficlets for any reason whatsoever, even in the name of getting a blackout at hc_bingo. On the other hand, though, this is the fic that originally got me started down the path of writing AU fic, so whatever, I guess it's not that bad overall, really. This is just old fic, and I really don't like it for a lot of reasons.
13. Whether It Works Or Not.
I don't know what to say about this fic, either, except that I'm really pleased with it, especially considering how it's really just a bunch of loosely connected ficlet things.
14. Library Love Song.
uhm, I really don't know what to say about this fic except that I hate and suck at writing PWP. I wish it had more comments because comments are really more validating than kudos for me, but I also don't know what I'm expecting people are supposed to be saying on it, because it really is PWP. There is no semblance of a plot whatsoever. It's just smut.
15. In Quarter Tones to Ten.
Oh, my vampire!Jensen/grad student!Misha fic. uhm. I was in a bad place when I wrote this fic, too, and I wrote a lot of it under the duress of a looming deadline, which is probably why it's really grim and unpleasant and, in some places, is trying way too hard to be lyrical. Yeah. It's pretty okay, for what it is, but I reserve judgment on what it is, because what it is is pretty much, "I like vampires, I like dark!fic, why is there not more dark!fic exploring what sort of person wouldn't think that much about their prospective love interest being a vampire"-and it was really influenced by the "Vampire the Masquerade" roleplaying game, because I kind of love them.
16. As From A Chrysalis.
SO OH MY GOD I HAVE A STORY ABOUT THIS FIC THAT MAKES ME KIND OF ANGRY. Like, it is a chubby!kink fic. It's got chubby!Misha and chubby!Jared and tight clothes and button-popping and a bit of food kink and humiliation kink and the whole point of the fic is, "Misha is chubby and it's really hot, even though some people don't get that." And for some reason, it got recc'd to someone who was looking for fic where any of the boys went on a diet or picked up some kind of fitness plan, or else were looking to lose weight and get healthy-and I found that by total accident, and I am just like, "wow way to miss the entire fucking point of the fic, the fact that Jensen did what you're asking for is NOT the point of the fic."
And like, I don't like feeling this way, because I don't like the whole prescribing what the point of the fic is to people thing, because the author isn't God and so on and so forth… but in this case, the whole impetus behind the writing of the fic was, "fatness is attractive, fatness is a perfectly fine locus for getting off, people don't have to be thin to be healthy or attractive, get over it"-so I feel like the way in which the reccer and the person who got the fic recc'd to them missed the point is really kind of erasing and gross, and yeah. It just makes me feel really skeevy. As though I didn't have enough problems with feeling like people only read my chubby!kink fic because they think it's a total freak show or whatever. As though that wasn't enough of an issue on its own.
17. Richard Siken Can Bite Me.
This fic happened by complete accident, because I got sick of seeing That One Line from Siken's "You Are Jeff" on every. single. fucking. edit. on tumblr. (you know what line I'm talking about. it's the one about riding in a car with a beautiful boy and he won't tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.) …so I was reblogging this one edit of Dean and Cas from "My Bloody Valentine," with Cas going at Dean's burger and Dean sort of staring, and I started riffing on that one line ("You're in a bar with a beautiful boy and he won't tell you that he loves you but…") and then it turned into fic about all of Dean's issues, including his abusive childhood and the eating disorder that I think he has.
18. Cicatrix.
This fic mostly happened because a friend wanted me to write Isaac/Derek for a kink_bingo prompt. So I did. The end. It's sort of distressingly cute, for being an Isaac/Derek fic?
19. An Uncomplicated Social Call.
This fic happened entirely by accident, because after "LARP and the Real Girl" aired, people on tumblr were talking about how they wanted Dean to come out to Charlie. So I wrote fic about it. It's exactly what it says on the tin. Like, really. There isn't anything special or innovative or whatever going on in this fic; it's just, "Dean is bisexual and he comes out to Charlie, who is totally awesome about it because Charlie Bradbury is totally awesome about everything."
20. Underlying Causes.
Uhm. This fic happened as a result of an RP that finnickodair and I had last summer, the premise of which was pretty much, "Cas is part-Vulcan and has no control over his telepathic abilities; Dean came into a Starfleet legacy because John and Mary are both Admirals (she out-ranks him, though), and John was an abusive dick-bag; they are both serving on the Enterprise and at one point, get stuck in a mind-meld during sex, discuss." This fic is really more about Jim than Dean, but Dean's experiences color everything about the fic, really. And I had a lot of fun trying to write Jim, Bones, and Spock's voices, since I don't usually write them and all that.
21. Untitled (Danny/Jackson).
It's a drabble sequence and, so far, the only thing I've ever written in a BDSM AU, but I want to write more BDSM AU fic, partly as a result of writing these drabbles and partly because I just feel like it. But someone wanted Danny/Jackson BDSM AU fic, and I wanted to get an amnesty bingo at kink_bingo in their January challenge, so… I wrote some Danny/Jackson BDSM AU drabbles.
22. Everything You Ever.
uhm. This fic started with a chubwinchesters request anything meme prompt, and it turned into an 11,000-ish word angst fest of Azazel!John groping on chubby!Dean and it took a hard left turn in a way I never saw coming while I was working on it… it's really rambling and introspective and all kinds of stuff.
23. All King David's Children.
I don't even know what to say about this fic. It's really not particularly noteworthy, and I think it's only popular because it's backstory to the mpreg with trans*!Cas 'verse thing, but I'm really fond of it because it's got Luci(fer) and Cas being siblings at each other, and I'm all about sibling bantering and stuff like that. Dysfunctional sibling relationships are like, the best thing ever.
24. In Order To Possess Mere Consolations.
I kind of wish this fic were higher up on the list, but at the same time, I understand why it's not? On the one hand, it's RPF, which is points against it for a lot of people. On the other hand, it's pretty much all about Misha's eating disorder. On the tentacle, it's a side-story to a longer fic that is also a WIP, and I know some people are squeamish about both long fics and WIPs. But I really put a lot of my heart and soul into this fic, so I wish it got more attention than it does.
25. Secrets.
So, in Adventure Time canon, vampires don't drink blood, they drink the color red. This little drabble that could basically posits that Princess Bubblegum is kinky and likes it when Marceline the Vampire Queen drinks her blood. And for some reason, people really like it? Cool, cool, cool.
TITLE
FANDOM
AO3 HITS
AO3 KUDOS
AO3 COMMENTS
AO3 BOOKMARKS
NOTES1. It's A Problem Of Disbelief.
Teen Wolf.
4539.
121.
4.
26.
Sterek, empath!Stiles.2. Lost My Light.
Supernatural.
3807.
104.
5.
29.
Dean-centric dark!fic.3. Songs of Love & Hate, or: Alas! A Cornucopia of Love!
Supernatural.
3277.
47.
3.
24.
DCBB fic from 2010.4. Don't Even Bother.
Supernatural.
3146.
26.
3.
4.
chubby!kink, feederism, etc.5. That's Some Atrocious Breach of Privacy (Please, Do It Again).
SPN RPF.
2775.
34.
7.
7.
chubby!kink, feederism, and eating disorders.6. Like the ticking hands on the radium clock.
Supernatural.
2064.
43.
4.
0.
mpreg with trans*!Cas.7. Family is a sentence.
Supernatural.
1618.
27.
4.
2.
mpreg with trans*!Cas.8. Lazy Day.
Supernatural.
1561.
20.
2.
2.
chubby!kink, feederism, D/s.9. There is a crack in everything-that's how the light gets in.
Supernatural.
1524.
18.
0.
0.
mpreg with trans*!Cas.10. They've summoned up a thundercloud.
Supernatural.
1483.
33.
1.
1.
the start of the trans*!Cas verse.11. Twenty-One to Zip (Doctor, Doctor, Gimme The News).
Supernatural.
1459.
27.
1.
4.
chubby!Dean/Doctor Sexy.12. Being Good Isn't Always Easy.
Supernatural.
1449.
29.
1.
5.
castielfest fic.13. Whether It Works Or Not.
Supernatural.
1296.
31.
5.
5.
genderqueer!Dean and 2014!Cas college au.14. Library Love Song.
Supernatural RPF.
1255.
43.
0.
5.
Dean/Cas secret santa fic, 2012.15. In Quarter Tones to Ten.
Supernatural RPF.
1229.
19.
0.
6.
dc_dystopia fic, 2012.16. As From A Chrysalis.
Supernatural RPF.
1200.
17.
0.
7.
chubby!kink and body image issues.17. Richard Siken Can Bite Me.
Supernatural.
1184.
38.
0.
9.
uhm. it's my second-person POV fic about Dean's problems.18. Cicatrix.
Teen Wolf.
1143.
49.
4.
6.
kink_bingo fic, really silly little thing.19. An Uncomplicated Social Call.
Supernatural.
1112.
106.
6.
19.
Dean and Charlie talk about how he's bi.20. Underlying Causes.
Supernatural/Star Trek: TOS.
1052.
29.
2.
2.
uhm. Dean and Jim talk about John stuff, then Jim, Bones, and Spock talk about John stuff. Warning for abuse.21. Untitled (Danny/Jackson).
Teen Wolf.
1031.
43.
1.
4.
kink_bingo drabble sequence, BDSM AU.22. Everything You Ever.
Supernatural.
1028.
14.
2.
3.
uhm. chubby!Dean/John!Azazel. not a very nice fic.23. All King David's Children.
Supernatural.
989.
33.
1.
1.
backstory to the mpreg trans*!Cas fic.24. In Order To Possess Mere Consolations.
SPN RPF.
961.
14.
3.
1.
eating disorders, eating disorders, and more eating disorders.25. Secrets.
Adventure Time.
955.
40.
0.
5.
Marceline/Bubblegum blood-drinking drabble.
1. It's A Problem Of Disbelief.
Words cannot describe how much I hate that this is my most popular fic. Especially since I know it's only gotten as many kudos and hits and whatnots because it's Stiles/Derek, not because it's actually any kind of good. Because as far as fics go, it's really mediocre? Like, I enjoyed writing the Stiles/Derek snapping at each other, and there's some frottage porn at the end, but for the most part… yeah, it's just really mediocre, with a pretty ridiculous set-up, and it wasn't even that good at fulfilling the kinks that the person I wrote it for likes, and I hate how it's any kind of popular at all. The killer is that I don't even really ship Stiles/Derek. On my bad days, I view this fic's popularity as some kind of cosmic retribution for writing something that I don't ship. :\
2. Lost My Light.
I wrote this in 2010, and it remains one of my favorite fics that I've written. It's basically a 12,000-ish-word treatise about Dean's self-loathing and his depression and all kinds of unpleasant things. It's full of self-harm, and non-con, and eating disorders, and I was just in a really bad place when I wrote it, but… you know what? I got a really good fic out of that bad place, and I'm pleased as punch that it's my second most popular fic. And for some reason, a lot of people compliment me on it, so… it's a good fic and it makes me happy that I wrote it.
3. Songs of Love & Hate, or: Alas! A Cornucopia of Love!
I HATE THIS FIC AND EVERYTHING THAT I CHOSE TO MAKE IT. It's the only big bang fic that I've actually finished-at least, it's the only big bang fic that I've finished for one of the major BBs-and I hate it so much. It's like a 52k crack fic, for fuck's sake, and even if I wrote some entertaining banter, I just don't think it was worth the effort that I put into it, especially since it's actually kind of misogynistic in its treatment of Meg and the roles that I gave to Becky and Lisa, and the way I didn't bring Anna back when I could've, and it's just a total shit-show of a would-be romcom satire that wasn't nearly as satirical as it could've been, I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.
4. Don't Even Bother.
I still don't even know how this fic happened, aside from, "I had some time on my hands and a bunch of bingo prompts to turn into fic, so I did." And the end result of this is some big bang-length schmoop fest about feederism. Which sort of makes me feel… I don't really know how it makes me feel, to be honest. Half the time, I think most people are only reading this fic in the first place out of some kind of, "wow what a freak show" impulse or like, some kind of, "wow why would you even write this" morbid curiosity sort of thing, because like. Because it has to do with feederism, and because Dean and Cas are fat in the fic, and because it's like… most people don't get that this really means a lot to me for a lot of different reasons that I don't feel like going into here? I feel like most people don't really care. There will be people who get the kinks and some people who don't, but I worry that more people don't get the kinks than do. also, it has genderqueer!Dean, pretty much because I could and I felt like it.
5. That's Some Atrocious Breach of Privacy (Please, Do It Again).
This fic is my baby, it's two chapters away from being done, and I don't even know where to begin talking about it, or what I'd even say if I knew where to start. When I started writing it, it was going to be a much more traditional feederism and/or chubby!kink and/or weight gain fic, with all the tropes in place, where Jensen was, as a feedee, excited about gaining weight and where Misha was really resistant to the idea, but then started going along with it more readily-but then Misha's resistance to the idea started looking more and more like an eating disorder, and I was really not okay and really uncomfortable with the original direction that the fic was going to take for a lot of reasons… and I like the way that things have turned out a lot more? it makes the fic harder to really classify-it's partly a feeder!kink fic, but partly an eating disorder angst fic with loads of character study, but partly a fic about Jensen and Misha's friendship and how Misha has a crush on Jensen but is really just in love with the idea of being in love-but it's endeared the fic to me a lot more, and made it a lot more important to me overall.
…and to think this all started with a prompt on a chubwinchesters meme that anybody else would've written in, like, five or six-thousand words, and made a lot more effective as a locus for getting off than I've managed to make this fic in all 180ish-k of it (plus the additional 120ish-k of side-stories and interludes).
6. Like the ticking hands on the radium clock.
This is another case of, "I don't know how the fuck this fic happened, except that I had some time on my hands and some bingo prompts to play with," but the basic impetus behind the fic's existence was, "why aren't there more trans* interpretations of the characters in mpreg fic? I want to rectify this." So I tried. I don't really know that I succeeded or did very well at all, but I did try.
7. Family is a sentence.
More from the same series as "radium clock"-this one's about Cas trying to reach out to his family and his family being total douchebags about it, in varying degrees. Balthazar and Cupid come off the worst out of everyone because Balthazar deliberately misgenders Cas and Cupid deliberately says eating disorder triggering thing, while Rachel and Anna come out the best and Gabriel comes out somewhere in the middle.
8. Lazy Day.
We don't talk about this fic. Based on the comments it's gotten, I'm pretty sure that people really only read this fic out of some, "wow what a freak show" or, "wow why would you even write this" kind of impulse. Which makes me sad and frustrated and it makes me feel really lonely, but… c'est la vie, when writing stuff about feederism and fat characters in sexualized situations, I guess.
9. There is a crack in everything-that's how the light gets in.
There's really not a lot to say about this fic, except that it's the point in the "radium clock" series where it all actually becomes an mpreg fic.
10. They've summoned up a thundercloud.
Because this is the fic that started the "radium clock" series, and it wasn't originally an mpreg fic. It became an mpreg fic by complete accident of hc_bingo prompts and me being like, "wow a lot of mpreg fic could really use some trans* interpretations." Originally, it was just a ficlet thing that I wrote about trans*!Cas and his Dean because I felt like it and I could, and I had some prompts to fill for a challenge community thing.
11. Twenty-One to Zip (Doctor, Doctor, Gimme The News).
…this fic is another example of a fic that was a happy accident. I wrote it because someone didn't get their present fic in a chubwinchesters exchange meme, based on a prompt that they'd seconded on a request anything meme, and… you know what? It worked out pretty well.
12. Being Good Isn't Always Easy.
I HATE THIS FIC SO FUCKING MUCH, WHY IS IT EVEN POPULAR. It's just really pointless and it's really ridiculous and it spawned a 'verse that I'm never putting on AO3 ever because I am hardcore ashamed of the fact that I ever wrote those ficlets for any reason whatsoever, even in the name of getting a blackout at hc_bingo. On the other hand, though, this is the fic that originally got me started down the path of writing AU fic, so whatever, I guess it's not that bad overall, really. This is just old fic, and I really don't like it for a lot of reasons.
13. Whether It Works Or Not.
I don't know what to say about this fic, either, except that I'm really pleased with it, especially considering how it's really just a bunch of loosely connected ficlet things.
14. Library Love Song.
uhm, I really don't know what to say about this fic except that I hate and suck at writing PWP. I wish it had more comments because comments are really more validating than kudos for me, but I also don't know what I'm expecting people are supposed to be saying on it, because it really is PWP. There is no semblance of a plot whatsoever. It's just smut.
15. In Quarter Tones to Ten.
Oh, my vampire!Jensen/grad student!Misha fic. uhm. I was in a bad place when I wrote this fic, too, and I wrote a lot of it under the duress of a looming deadline, which is probably why it's really grim and unpleasant and, in some places, is trying way too hard to be lyrical. Yeah. It's pretty okay, for what it is, but I reserve judgment on what it is, because what it is is pretty much, "I like vampires, I like dark!fic, why is there not more dark!fic exploring what sort of person wouldn't think that much about their prospective love interest being a vampire"-and it was really influenced by the "Vampire the Masquerade" roleplaying game, because I kind of love them.
16. As From A Chrysalis.
SO OH MY GOD I HAVE A STORY ABOUT THIS FIC THAT MAKES ME KIND OF ANGRY. Like, it is a chubby!kink fic. It's got chubby!Misha and chubby!Jared and tight clothes and button-popping and a bit of food kink and humiliation kink and the whole point of the fic is, "Misha is chubby and it's really hot, even though some people don't get that." And for some reason, it got recc'd to someone who was looking for fic where any of the boys went on a diet or picked up some kind of fitness plan, or else were looking to lose weight and get healthy-and I found that by total accident, and I am just like, "wow way to miss the entire fucking point of the fic, the fact that Jensen did what you're asking for is NOT the point of the fic."
And like, I don't like feeling this way, because I don't like the whole prescribing what the point of the fic is to people thing, because the author isn't God and so on and so forth… but in this case, the whole impetus behind the writing of the fic was, "fatness is attractive, fatness is a perfectly fine locus for getting off, people don't have to be thin to be healthy or attractive, get over it"-so I feel like the way in which the reccer and the person who got the fic recc'd to them missed the point is really kind of erasing and gross, and yeah. It just makes me feel really skeevy. As though I didn't have enough problems with feeling like people only read my chubby!kink fic because they think it's a total freak show or whatever. As though that wasn't enough of an issue on its own.
17. Richard Siken Can Bite Me.
This fic happened by complete accident, because I got sick of seeing That One Line from Siken's "You Are Jeff" on every. single. fucking. edit. on tumblr. (you know what line I'm talking about. it's the one about riding in a car with a beautiful boy and he won't tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.) …so I was reblogging this one edit of Dean and Cas from "My Bloody Valentine," with Cas going at Dean's burger and Dean sort of staring, and I started riffing on that one line ("You're in a bar with a beautiful boy and he won't tell you that he loves you but…") and then it turned into fic about all of Dean's issues, including his abusive childhood and the eating disorder that I think he has.
18. Cicatrix.
This fic mostly happened because a friend wanted me to write Isaac/Derek for a kink_bingo prompt. So I did. The end. It's sort of distressingly cute, for being an Isaac/Derek fic?
19. An Uncomplicated Social Call.
This fic happened entirely by accident, because after "LARP and the Real Girl" aired, people on tumblr were talking about how they wanted Dean to come out to Charlie. So I wrote fic about it. It's exactly what it says on the tin. Like, really. There isn't anything special or innovative or whatever going on in this fic; it's just, "Dean is bisexual and he comes out to Charlie, who is totally awesome about it because Charlie Bradbury is totally awesome about everything."
20. Underlying Causes.
Uhm. This fic happened as a result of an RP that finnickodair and I had last summer, the premise of which was pretty much, "Cas is part-Vulcan and has no control over his telepathic abilities; Dean came into a Starfleet legacy because John and Mary are both Admirals (she out-ranks him, though), and John was an abusive dick-bag; they are both serving on the Enterprise and at one point, get stuck in a mind-meld during sex, discuss." This fic is really more about Jim than Dean, but Dean's experiences color everything about the fic, really. And I had a lot of fun trying to write Jim, Bones, and Spock's voices, since I don't usually write them and all that.
21. Untitled (Danny/Jackson).
It's a drabble sequence and, so far, the only thing I've ever written in a BDSM AU, but I want to write more BDSM AU fic, partly as a result of writing these drabbles and partly because I just feel like it. But someone wanted Danny/Jackson BDSM AU fic, and I wanted to get an amnesty bingo at kink_bingo in their January challenge, so… I wrote some Danny/Jackson BDSM AU drabbles.
22. Everything You Ever.
uhm. This fic started with a chubwinchesters request anything meme prompt, and it turned into an 11,000-ish word angst fest of Azazel!John groping on chubby!Dean and it took a hard left turn in a way I never saw coming while I was working on it… it's really rambling and introspective and all kinds of stuff.
23. All King David's Children.
I don't even know what to say about this fic. It's really not particularly noteworthy, and I think it's only popular because it's backstory to the mpreg with trans*!Cas 'verse thing, but I'm really fond of it because it's got Luci(fer) and Cas being siblings at each other, and I'm all about sibling bantering and stuff like that. Dysfunctional sibling relationships are like, the best thing ever.
24. In Order To Possess Mere Consolations.
I kind of wish this fic were higher up on the list, but at the same time, I understand why it's not? On the one hand, it's RPF, which is points against it for a lot of people. On the other hand, it's pretty much all about Misha's eating disorder. On the tentacle, it's a side-story to a longer fic that is also a WIP, and I know some people are squeamish about both long fics and WIPs. But I really put a lot of my heart and soul into this fic, so I wish it got more attention than it does.
25. Secrets.
So, in Adventure Time canon, vampires don't drink blood, they drink the color red. This little drabble that could basically posits that Princess Bubblegum is kinky and likes it when Marceline the Vampire Queen drinks her blood. And for some reason, people really like it? Cool, cool, cool.