(no subject)
i want to update about this summer but i don't even know where to start. there was the fair on 4th of july, adventureland for the first time since i went with cristin and we became related, lots of work and friends and ben although it really doesn't seem like enough. i have a roommate. at least i hope i do. we weren't supposed to find out until august but some people had theirs posted early and it said that i have a c room, with a bathroom, and that leslie's my roommate. i really hope it stays. she seems like she matches up well with me, at least for now, i might end up hitting myself for saying that in a few months but i really want to be optimistic. me and jamie were talking today about how she leaves in 22 days which means i leave in like 25 or something like that. 25 days is not enough to do everything i want and is not enough time with ben especially since i know i can't see him every single day. life has been kind of uneventful this summer, especially compared to last summer, but i don't really mind it. i like that it's been pretty relaxed and i've just chilled with my regulars and it's been alright. i feel like i haven't seen a bunch of people that i'd meant to, and i really want to, but 25 days is totally not a long time. i'm excited for college but i'm afraid to be because i don't want to leave. i just want to be there. i'm not sure if that makes sense. i try and convince myself that nothing will change, and for the most part i believe that it won't, it's just that the entire ben part of my life with and that's become a pretty large part of my life so it's rough. amy was here this weekend and got me some adorable pig stuff and i'm pretty sure she's just the cutest human being ever. my brother was nice and bought me marvel ultimate alliance and i've been playing that since i got home from work. i want to have meaningful conversations with him, but he's never up as late as i am since he works during the week. he just tells me i'm never home a lot of the time and then i wonder if i should be spending more time at home because i'm leaving them just as much as i'm leaving my friends. anyway amy left and she wished me goodluck moving in and stuff because she won't see me until after then. i think she's the first person to say that to me and that's so strange. i hate lasts. i told my grandma i'd visit her in florida this summer, i just haven't been able to bring myself to leave my friends and ben for that long. i'm a horrible granddaughter. i want to see her, i'm just such a baby about leaving and it's honestly mostly ben, i'm afraid to lose any potential time with him. god i need to sleep.