(no subject)
i want everything to be normal again, but i don't even know what normal is so maybe that's impossible. i hope i'm able to get really into congress this year and actually become friends with the people i've isolated myself from for absolutely no reason the past three years. hmph i guess better late than never? i think i need to start thinking more about all the amazing opportunities that are put in front of me, instead of feeling sad for what i don't have. council was kind of dreadful tonight, it was really unnecessary for me to be there, and i feel like this year is going to be so different without retreat, but hopefully we'll be able to make it really good. i only spoke to jasmine for about 2 minutes, but she's such a genuine person and we just chatted about how our friends have changed over the years because we've realized that we're not the same people we were in middle school. i should really talk to her more often, it kind of makes me regret that we won't have retreat to bond and talk until all hours of the morning, but i'm in her group and stuff so who knows. i was kind of contemplating apologizing to someone who's been out of my life for a little bit now, and i'm still toying with the idea. i just feel horribly about it some days, and some days i know i'm better off how i am now. i just can't imagine not like signing their yearbook or stupid things like that after we've had so much history together. it seems a lot of my relationships are like that lately, which is probably wonderfully sucky on my part, but if it bothers me enough i'll try to fix it i guess.