Sanity now and beyond me...
Ok, so, I've decided to write a short story for a magazine, mostly based on this past weekend. but all I have so far is...
"Dear Penthouse..."
So the weekend started on Thursday, because, that's how we roll. I woke up all nervous and shit, and made my way into the city to pick up Dev from the Port Authority. I'm sitting there, waiting, and this ugly chick drops one of her bags and is all fumbling around with the rest of them, and I decide that I could use a little bit of good Karma, and help her out by picking up her bag for her. Smart move...not five minutes later, I see this little hottie walking around in a hot plaid skirt, fishnets, knee high boots and a shirt that simply says "MILF" Turns out to be Dev...Hot damn...HOT FUCKING DAMN.
ANYhoot. I give her a huge hug, as I haven't seen her in 2 years and we walk to the train and take that to the metro north. First off, you don't know how awesome it is, to walk through the city with a girl like Dev on your arm...Having everyone turn their heads and be like "Lucky fuck..." My ego was indeed large. And by ego, I mean man pole. So yeah, we get on the Metro North, and we're bullshitting about this and that and what not...Wondering if there are cameras on board, and getting pissed at people sitting in the same car as us. Whatever, fuck it. We get back to my neighborhood, and walk up to my house, all the while people are staring at us. What? fuckers never seen two of the hottest people ever walking hand in hand? Suckers.
We get back to my place, and within ten minutes, she's all naked and wanting Chinese food...And by Chinese food, I mean...Chinese food. Pervs. So I order her some foodness, and just stare at the hot nakedness sitting in my bed. How on Earth am I this lucky? Its one thing to have a naked chick in your bed...but when you have a naked Dev in your bed...the world seems...so much better. So she eats, and we start watching House of 1000 Corpses...cuz, um, awesomeness? And she tells me I should be naked too, yeah, cuz I'm gonna argue this. So now we're both naked, and there is some serious greatness on the TV...But, one thing leads to another and holy fuck. I'm sure you've had sex before...and even if you haven't you've imagined what its like. This was...yum. so yeah, we go at it once or twice...or three times, whatever. Mom comes home, we talk to her for a bit, and then go back in my room for a Zim marathon of greatness...which turned into more sexins. Hotness.
We wake up Friday, and order more Chinese food, and have some more unfuckingbelieveable sex, and watch some movies, and what not. Tried to find something to do, but alas, nothing came up. Ash picked us up at around 9:30 - 10 ish and we went to Applebees and what have you, and then drove out to Ash's place in Jersey. We decide we needs us the beers, and her and Ash go out to collect said brew while I stay home and fix the TV...like a real man. Then they get back, no beers, and they tell me that they went to a strip club...without me...**anger** "We only went to see if we could buy liquor from them" YEAH LIES! I'm sitting home watching Clerks...and you're looking at boobs. ANYways. So then they get all naked and I'm like..."um...hells yeah bitches!" And we watch the rest of Clerks, and then throw on Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which is one of the best and worst movies ever. Oh, and do you know how hard it is, to be lying in bed, with a naked Dev, and NOT fuck her? Its...torture.
Woke up Saturday, and again, the urge to bang out...was...too much to handle. Anyhoot, I get up, and lo and behold, more Chinese food! The girl is an addict I tells ya. We hang out with Ash, and Bill and Sarah (Ash's roommates) And have tons of good times. Dev and I took a shower in this nasty disgusting Sulfur water that I think may have made me sick. OH! OH! So what's better than showering with one sexy fucking woman? HAVING AN ICE COLD BEER WHILE YOU DO IT! Bill, is a genius. I say. "What does being clean have to do with being drunk?!" He agrees and says "This is why you drink in the shower" And before I get in the shower, he hands me a cup of Blue Moon, from the Keg he has of it downstairs...He is my hero.
So we shower up, and head out to Path Mark for clams and other needs, and to the liquor store for...That's right! Liquor. And we have ourselves a fabulous fire, and topless clam bake. Bill and Sarah went out to the bar at some point, and the three of us just hung out listening to music and playing with Red (Bill's puppy), and the fire and drinking and what not. Me, I was drunk by about five, and even drunker still when Bill and Sarah left. So we took some pics, and had some nakedness, and what not, and then went to bed...Well...to the bed.
Dev and I stayed in the guest bedroom that night, due to the extreme hotness of three people sharing a bed. Once again, you've heard of, thought of, or had hot sex in your life...but nothing will compare to the fuck-a-thon that was Saturday night. Three hours of pure porn style hardcore fucking. I catch a chubby just thinking about it. In fact...brb.............................................................................................................................................................Ah, better. Now then. Whether or not anyone heard us...makes no never mind to me. We went at it like the species depended on us. How the bed didn't break is beyond me...or the wall for that matter...Or Dev...or me...Christ it was awesomeness...Neither of us could walk afterwards, but we somehow managed to get up and get chicken, which, is the BEST after sex food ever. And I do mean ever. Oh, and I don't know about you, but I have a shoe fetish...And fucking Dev, is awesome...but Fucking Dev(Heh, but fucking Dev) when she's wearing these...
Is just untouchable...I may cum again just looking at them.
Then we passed out, and the next morning Dev woke up and just stared out the window for about half an hour or so, I watched her the whole time, which I don't think she knows...but I was just laying there, watching her watch the world, and thinking just how gorgeous, and awesome she is...made me a little sad. I passed back out for a few, and then she came in and woke me up with a kiss and told me there was more Chinese to be had. (ADDICT!) So I got up, and tried hard to hide the scratches on my back from everyone, and then realizing that I don't care who sees them, and sat down and ate and curled up next to her and what not. Then, came time to drive her home...Which sucked the ass of a thousand asses. We got to her house, and it was like a slap in the face. I forgot how much I missed her house, and the atmosphere around it, I don't know why, but it's always been rather cathartic to me. No one was home, so we broke in, and then drove out to her mom's which had me a little nervous, as I haven't seen anyone in her family in years, and didn't know what the reaction would be towards me, but Her mom is awesome, so it was all good. Then we went back to her house and her Dad came out and was all "Raphael! How ya doin?" Apparently, I left a message on the machine pretending to be someone named Raphael, and he found this to be the funniest thing ever. I don't remember, cuz I drink too much. Anyhoot, I talked to her dad for a few, and played with Damien, who I also miss playing with...the spastic little shit that he is...And then we sat inside and tried to wake up The Munch, who is just fucking gorgeous. Thank God she takes after her mother. Sadly, she didn't wake up, which is prolly for the best, cuz the last time I met the Munch, she was none to impressed with me. And um...then came the worst part of the weekend. Leaving.
I won't lie, it was hard as fuck to leave. I miss Dev, a lot. I know I wasn't supposed to, I was supposed to keep emotions out of this, but I can't help it. When you're around someone as awesome as her, its hard not to feel something. Spending that much time with her made me miss being with her. Call me weak, call me a douche, or whatever...but its the truth. All the little hugs, and kisses, and hand holding, and looks...its hard to be around that and not feel something. Are they just left over emotions? No. I've always, and will always love her. We may fight all the time, and hate each other most of the time we're not fighting, but I generally love that little shit. So when we pulled out of the driveway, it was hard not to cry a bit, and not to feel like shit. The urge to jump out of the car and run back into the house and just smother her with hugs and kisses was rather strong, but I held my own. I hate that she's moving next week. It was one thing for her to be in the same state, just far away, but to be THAT far is gonna suck many balls. Hopefully, I'll get to go see her before the year is out. And I'll say it, because I am Emo. I prolly woulda went with. -_-
ANYWAY! Had a good rode home with Ash, we saw a man in a kilt and talked a lot about life, and love and all the shit that disrupts them both.
All in all, it was a fucking awesome weekend.
Dev, I miss you. A lot. Luckily, my bed still smells like you, and I have my Jersey to curl up with. But yes, I do wish it was you =P
And with that, I leave you.
Until then...