Unaware of the aware
I have just begun to read this book called the erotic edge. It's great so far. It's a dipiction of different types of sexual behavior and thoughts processes. It's divided up into 22 short stories written by people who are just like you and me. It's a great book so far, I would recomend it to anyone. I can't believe how long it's been since I have updated this thing. I barely get online anymore for more than a few minutes at a time. I have held my attention else where I suppose. I feel stressed lately. I broke the news to my parents that I do not wish to continue school for a while. I need some rest from it not just like a semester or two. But a nice long break. I have no idea what I want to do with my life or even where my interests are. I really wish I could just sit down, pick something and then just do it. But motivation, or lack thereof seems to be a pertinent problem.
Matthew and I have been deciding where we want to live in the next few months. California is nice, I like it here. But he wants to move somewhere else. I don't even know if I care where we go anymore. I just feel lost in the scheme of things. I miss my best friends, I really do. I miss Angie. She and I hardly talk anymore, our lives consume our time. We are both so busy, but now with each other. It makes me quite sad. I just wish she was here to help me figure out this mess that I call life. Where is my place in the world? What am I supposed to be doing? Where am I supposed to be living, what is my purpose. The only sure thing I feel right now to be true is Matthew. He will follow me to wherever I want to go and whatever it is I want to do. I feel bad for not having a clear picture on life.
One good thing is Matthew knows what he wants to do with his life, he has a plan on the straightr and narrow. A clear picture on his mind of where he wishes to be in ten years, or even five. I don't even know what I want to do in the next week. I just know it's not what I am doing now. OK well I am done babbling, I am sure you all have guessed. I am one big mess!
Matthew and I have been deciding where we want to live in the next few months. California is nice, I like it here. But he wants to move somewhere else. I don't even know if I care where we go anymore. I just feel lost in the scheme of things. I miss my best friends, I really do. I miss Angie. She and I hardly talk anymore, our lives consume our time. We are both so busy, but now with each other. It makes me quite sad. I just wish she was here to help me figure out this mess that I call life. Where is my place in the world? What am I supposed to be doing? Where am I supposed to be living, what is my purpose. The only sure thing I feel right now to be true is Matthew. He will follow me to wherever I want to go and whatever it is I want to do. I feel bad for not having a clear picture on life.
One good thing is Matthew knows what he wants to do with his life, he has a plan on the straightr and narrow. A clear picture on his mind of where he wishes to be in ten years, or even five. I don't even know what I want to do in the next week. I just know it's not what I am doing now. OK well I am done babbling, I am sure you all have guessed. I am one big mess!