thoughts on rewatching SPN 8.05, on Benny & Dean and Sam & Dean...
xposted to tumblr...
So, complete speculation ahead:
It struck me rewatching 8.05 last night that Benny might actually be re-adjusting back to the world much better than Dean is. I think it might have to do with the fact that Benny had faced his inner monster, so to speak, before he went to Purgatory in the first place, came to terms with it, moved on from it with Andrea. Not saying it wasn’t traumatizing for the dude to see his love killed in front of him and then die himself and end up in Purgatory, but watching the episode, I got the sense that it wasn’t so much revenge driving him to take out his old nest as it was stopping them from hurting people. THIS MIGHT BE READING TOO MUCH INTO THINGS at this point, but the other exchange that really struck me was when Dean and Benny met up with Sam, and it became clear not just to Sam but to Benny that Dean hadn’t told Sam anything about Benny. And Benny says something like “Looks like you guys have a lot of catching up to do” or something like that. It struck me as a bit of a gentle reprimand from a friend to a friend, like, dude, what the fuck, why didn’t you tell your brother about me? But also at the same time getting that it’s not that easy maybe.
Anyway, so my total and utter speculation is that it’s not going to be Benny that needs to be reigned in this season, but Dean, and that Benny will call him out on it at some point? Blood brother to blood brother.
I don’t know if this is why Sam hasn’t out and out confronted Dean yet, but I think it might be that Sam doesn’t know how to talk to this Dean who doesn’t listen to him at all anymore. Whereas Benny was there when Dean became that Dean. The other scene that struck me between Benny and Dean along these lines is the bit in Purgatory when both he *and* Cas are trying to convince Dean that they’ll never make it out if Cas tags along with them, that this is just reality - but Dean isn’t having it, at all. The fact that he’s not having it at all, that he’s refusing to listen to them here - is in one sense admirable in that he is refusing to leave someone he loves behind regardless of the cost. But in another sense it’s a refusal of the reality that’s probably going to get them all killed. It’s just that Dean doesn’t care if it gets them all killed, because staying true to his loyalty to Cas and refusing to leave someone he loves behind (which might be read as feeling responsible for getting Cas out alive) is more important to Dean than whether or not he actually makes it out alive himself.
The scene between Sam and Dean that I think is key right now is the one from… um, was it 8.02? Where Sam is telling Dean straight up that Sam is out of the family business after this one last gig, and Dean is outright telling Sam that Sam is wrong about Sam’s feelings and choices, that Sam will change his mind because that’s what Dean wants Sam to do. It’s one of the more fucked up scenes to happen between them since season 4, I think.
There’s just no talking to someone who is telling you that your own feelings about your life are not just wrong, but erasing them outright and substituting their own. I really love how that scene contrasts with the scene in late season 1 between Sam and Dean, with a Dean who is much more vulnerable to the idea of Sam leaving because he doesn’t feel he has any control over it. This Dean seems to think he *can* control Sam, and that’s really fucked up. And it puts Sam in the awful position of having to be the one to back down or de-escalate the argument because to argue with that is to be put in the position to have to establish his own personhood, basically, and how do you do that in the face of someone outright denying that you are able to and have the right to make your own choices?
Anyway, I think there’s a lot here. I think my speculation is that the show is going to flip audience expectation, that Benny’s not going to be the one who can’t re-adjust to life post-Purgatory, and I think that might be why this week’s episode went to such lengths to give us insight into Benny’s backstory. It’s another reason why I don’t think Benny is going to end up as Dean’s Ruby, as the betrayer. I don’t think the story is going to be about whether or not Dean is right to trust Benny the Vampirate at all. And it’s also why I think the found footage episode about the kids turned into werewolves is more about Dean than it is about Benny - the show might be showing Dean acting like a complete asshole to Sam but it’s never lost sight of why exactly Dean is behaving this way, either.
Almost every monster on this show didn’t choose what happened to them, and I don’t think the show’s moral universe condemns them for giving in to the overwhelming pressure to kill once they’ve been turned - they’re starved lions rather than it being about moral judgment. But at the same time, once that’s passed, the show is making clear that they can make a choice not to kill. It’s a terrifyingly hard thing to do, but it is possible to change, to choose not to harm. And I think that’s the storyarc they’re going with for Dean this season. It’s not his fault that he had to fight for his life for a year in Purgatory and that it left him this pared of so much of his ability to emphasize with others, including his brother; but at some point it does become his responsibility to re-find that place in himself, no matter how difficult. Because the consequences of not doing that are hurting the one person he loves most in the world, down deep.
But what I think is that it needs to be a third party to talk to Dean about this, and about his relationship to Sam, because Dean can't hear anyone who didn't experience what he experienced in Purgatory right now, and he can't hear himself and how he's coming across, either.
So, complete speculation ahead:
It struck me rewatching 8.05 last night that Benny might actually be re-adjusting back to the world much better than Dean is. I think it might have to do with the fact that Benny had faced his inner monster, so to speak, before he went to Purgatory in the first place, came to terms with it, moved on from it with Andrea. Not saying it wasn’t traumatizing for the dude to see his love killed in front of him and then die himself and end up in Purgatory, but watching the episode, I got the sense that it wasn’t so much revenge driving him to take out his old nest as it was stopping them from hurting people. THIS MIGHT BE READING TOO MUCH INTO THINGS at this point, but the other exchange that really struck me was when Dean and Benny met up with Sam, and it became clear not just to Sam but to Benny that Dean hadn’t told Sam anything about Benny. And Benny says something like “Looks like you guys have a lot of catching up to do” or something like that. It struck me as a bit of a gentle reprimand from a friend to a friend, like, dude, what the fuck, why didn’t you tell your brother about me? But also at the same time getting that it’s not that easy maybe.
Anyway, so my total and utter speculation is that it’s not going to be Benny that needs to be reigned in this season, but Dean, and that Benny will call him out on it at some point? Blood brother to blood brother.
I don’t know if this is why Sam hasn’t out and out confronted Dean yet, but I think it might be that Sam doesn’t know how to talk to this Dean who doesn’t listen to him at all anymore. Whereas Benny was there when Dean became that Dean. The other scene that struck me between Benny and Dean along these lines is the bit in Purgatory when both he *and* Cas are trying to convince Dean that they’ll never make it out if Cas tags along with them, that this is just reality - but Dean isn’t having it, at all. The fact that he’s not having it at all, that he’s refusing to listen to them here - is in one sense admirable in that he is refusing to leave someone he loves behind regardless of the cost. But in another sense it’s a refusal of the reality that’s probably going to get them all killed. It’s just that Dean doesn’t care if it gets them all killed, because staying true to his loyalty to Cas and refusing to leave someone he loves behind (which might be read as feeling responsible for getting Cas out alive) is more important to Dean than whether or not he actually makes it out alive himself.
The scene between Sam and Dean that I think is key right now is the one from… um, was it 8.02? Where Sam is telling Dean straight up that Sam is out of the family business after this one last gig, and Dean is outright telling Sam that Sam is wrong about Sam’s feelings and choices, that Sam will change his mind because that’s what Dean wants Sam to do. It’s one of the more fucked up scenes to happen between them since season 4, I think.
There’s just no talking to someone who is telling you that your own feelings about your life are not just wrong, but erasing them outright and substituting their own. I really love how that scene contrasts with the scene in late season 1 between Sam and Dean, with a Dean who is much more vulnerable to the idea of Sam leaving because he doesn’t feel he has any control over it. This Dean seems to think he *can* control Sam, and that’s really fucked up. And it puts Sam in the awful position of having to be the one to back down or de-escalate the argument because to argue with that is to be put in the position to have to establish his own personhood, basically, and how do you do that in the face of someone outright denying that you are able to and have the right to make your own choices?
Anyway, I think there’s a lot here. I think my speculation is that the show is going to flip audience expectation, that Benny’s not going to be the one who can’t re-adjust to life post-Purgatory, and I think that might be why this week’s episode went to such lengths to give us insight into Benny’s backstory. It’s another reason why I don’t think Benny is going to end up as Dean’s Ruby, as the betrayer. I don’t think the story is going to be about whether or not Dean is right to trust Benny the Vampirate at all. And it’s also why I think the found footage episode about the kids turned into werewolves is more about Dean than it is about Benny - the show might be showing Dean acting like a complete asshole to Sam but it’s never lost sight of why exactly Dean is behaving this way, either.
Almost every monster on this show didn’t choose what happened to them, and I don’t think the show’s moral universe condemns them for giving in to the overwhelming pressure to kill once they’ve been turned - they’re starved lions rather than it being about moral judgment. But at the same time, once that’s passed, the show is making clear that they can make a choice not to kill. It’s a terrifyingly hard thing to do, but it is possible to change, to choose not to harm. And I think that’s the storyarc they’re going with for Dean this season. It’s not his fault that he had to fight for his life for a year in Purgatory and that it left him this pared of so much of his ability to emphasize with others, including his brother; but at some point it does become his responsibility to re-find that place in himself, no matter how difficult. Because the consequences of not doing that are hurting the one person he loves most in the world, down deep.
But what I think is that it needs to be a third party to talk to Dean about this, and about his relationship to Sam, because Dean can't hear anyone who didn't experience what he experienced in Purgatory right now, and he can't hear himself and how he's coming across, either.