slight update
I have not updated in FOREVER.
how is everyone?
As well as me.
Im super as can be minus being a little sick.
I have been eating a crapload of saltine crackers and drinking lots of water and amp.
amp=new favorite drink ever.
(you can thank ryan for that)
Ryan and I are doing very well.
Were talking about getting married soon soon.
exciting.
wahoo.
i Miss my cecilia rhubarb awfully much.
I miss victoria.
i have work on wed.
(not excited)
Im going to go save some lives.
I miss my monica and jacklick.
I hung out with them today(ahem thanks guys for giving me 15 min dickwads)
Im awfully happy.
I have been very happy latley.
I honestly dont understand why i waited so long for this.
I waited 3 and a half yearsfor us to be together.
why?
That could have been three years of being together.
Either way its the same.
in our mind we have been together.
I love this.
I love that.
I love it all.
I love him.
He loves me.
It feels like everything is always going to be allright.
no matter what everything will be okay as long as he is there.
Its odd how i spend my days and nights with him yet we never get tired of eachother.
How is this possible?
Thats why i came to the conclusion he is the one.
He is the one i want to spend my days with.
He is the one i want to grow old with.
He is the one i want to wake up to every morning.
He is the one i want to fall asleep with everynight.
He is the one who keeps me awake.
He is the one who keeps me healthy and sane.
He is the one who understand me more than anyone in this world.
He is the one who takes baths with me.
He is the one who tells me "everything is going to be allright".
its insane how one can possibly be so perfect, so full of life, so fascinating.
Its odd how one can feel so whole suddenly.
Im kicking myself in the face for not letting this happen sooner, but in my mind it was always happening.
In his mind we were always with eachother.
how can this be so utterly perfect.
I somehow feel rejuvinated, like my insides have been restored with my heart.
Like my heart died then a new seed was replanted.
I cannot even sit here and describe how whole i am.
So long ago i was ready for death.
whole was not even a concept.
Whole did not exsist in my body.
There is no whole.
There is no love.
There is fate.
I was wrong i guess.
I could actually sit here and cry happiness.
Its rare when i do that.
I belive i have only done it 3 times in my life.
Twice with ryan.
It feels good.
Like i have so many butterflies i fear if i open my mouth it will look like spring is here and butterfly season has begun.
I wish i could take the time to thank the lord for putting me here.
When long ago i despised him for keeping me on this earth.
Everyone has a purpose you told me.
I dared to listen.
I never would.
Now i can sit here and thank you for trying to explain to me there is reasoning for life.
So here i am spilling words out that most likely do not make sence but somehow do to me.
She's in love.
No longer is she alone in her heart.
odd?
Hardly.
I know that things wont always be this great but i can just sit here and remind myself im okay.
I know i will always be okay
as long as he is here with me.
So now i can fall asleep next to him and say i love you as many times as i can before i shut my eyes and awake to him once again.
Wonderfully amazing.
it is
goodnight all.
how is everyone?
As well as me.
Im super as can be minus being a little sick.
I have been eating a crapload of saltine crackers and drinking lots of water and amp.
amp=new favorite drink ever.
(you can thank ryan for that)
Ryan and I are doing very well.
Were talking about getting married soon soon.
exciting.
wahoo.
i Miss my cecilia rhubarb awfully much.
I miss victoria.
i have work on wed.
(not excited)
Im going to go save some lives.
I miss my monica and jacklick.
I hung out with them today(ahem thanks guys for giving me 15 min dickwads)
Im awfully happy.
I have been very happy latley.
I honestly dont understand why i waited so long for this.
I waited 3 and a half yearsfor us to be together.
why?
That could have been three years of being together.
Either way its the same.
in our mind we have been together.
I love this.
I love that.
I love it all.
I love him.
He loves me.
It feels like everything is always going to be allright.
no matter what everything will be okay as long as he is there.
Its odd how i spend my days and nights with him yet we never get tired of eachother.
How is this possible?
Thats why i came to the conclusion he is the one.
He is the one i want to spend my days with.
He is the one i want to grow old with.
He is the one i want to wake up to every morning.
He is the one i want to fall asleep with everynight.
He is the one who keeps me awake.
He is the one who keeps me healthy and sane.
He is the one who understand me more than anyone in this world.
He is the one who takes baths with me.
He is the one who tells me "everything is going to be allright".
its insane how one can possibly be so perfect, so full of life, so fascinating.
Its odd how one can feel so whole suddenly.
Im kicking myself in the face for not letting this happen sooner, but in my mind it was always happening.
In his mind we were always with eachother.
how can this be so utterly perfect.
I somehow feel rejuvinated, like my insides have been restored with my heart.
Like my heart died then a new seed was replanted.
I cannot even sit here and describe how whole i am.
So long ago i was ready for death.
whole was not even a concept.
Whole did not exsist in my body.
There is no whole.
There is no love.
There is fate.
I was wrong i guess.
I could actually sit here and cry happiness.
Its rare when i do that.
I belive i have only done it 3 times in my life.
Twice with ryan.
It feels good.
Like i have so many butterflies i fear if i open my mouth it will look like spring is here and butterfly season has begun.
I wish i could take the time to thank the lord for putting me here.
When long ago i despised him for keeping me on this earth.
Everyone has a purpose you told me.
I dared to listen.
I never would.
Now i can sit here and thank you for trying to explain to me there is reasoning for life.
So here i am spilling words out that most likely do not make sence but somehow do to me.
She's in love.
No longer is she alone in her heart.
odd?
Hardly.
I know that things wont always be this great but i can just sit here and remind myself im okay.
I know i will always be okay
as long as he is here with me.
So now i can fall asleep next to him and say i love you as many times as i can before i shut my eyes and awake to him once again.
Wonderfully amazing.
it is
goodnight all.