I think I'm ruined for good.
I was supposed to hang out with you last night//this morning.
I lied to my friends about where I was because I was embarassed that I was allowing myself to go back where I was two years ago.
I wanted to thank you for not going through with it.
You saved me from a summer of heartache.
I told my mom I was uber drunk as a scape goat but for some reason [[i feel like]] she knows i was going to be with you.
i have no control when it comes to you;; why do you do this to me?
&&& why do i allow it repeatedly? i hate myself for that.
I'm so much better than how you treated me.
Now i just have to find someone who believes in what I say.
FUCK YOU.
Summer BEGINS.
I'm ready for this summer to give me a lot of money & weed & alcohol & someone to love.
I really love Anna and Kevin. They are my bestest friends & I trust them both so much.
I'm really glad of how close I am with Kevin. He really is an awesome person. He "gets" it.
I miss you, but you wont see this. & That makes it okay for me to say it.