Fate vs. Probability - A Matsumiya Fanfic (Ch. 3)
Title: Fate vs. Probability
Pairing: Matsumoto Jun x Ninomiya Kazunari
Rating: R for the series, R for Ch. 3 for suggestive language
Warnings: If you're not okay with the boys in relationships with imaginary female characters, this fanfic is not for you. There's also cigarette smoking.
Word count: 1601
Author's note: This is a multi-chapter series but I'm still uncertain as to how many chapters this will have (I suck at planning). ^^;; If you stick around until the last chapter, I would be forever grateful.
Summary: A heart-broken Nino struggles through the coping phases as a new person in his life compels him to test fate.
Disclaimer: Events move slowly throughout this series. Some chapters, like this one, are reflections rather than active events.
Chapter One // Chapter Two
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“What took you so long?” Hiro stood up from his seat to greet his friend.
“I was out of cigarettes so I stopped by a convenience store,” Ninomiya replied plainly. The restaurant was yet another posh institution filled to the brim with upper-class attitude and he could hardly make his way through the over-sized heads inflated with wealth and egos. He wished he had kept his work clothes on; now among snobby, rich folk, he felt underdressed and inappropriate. Should I have worn something else? Hiro could sense Ninomiya’s uncertainty: “You look fine, buddy.” Ninomiya chuckled nervously under his breath. This guy can always hear my tho-. He caught himself mid-sentence; he hoped Hiro didn’t catch that one.
It always amazed him how large Hiro’s circle of acquaintances was; even tonight, he spotted unfamiliar faces. Sometimes, he wished he were just as welcoming of others, but logically knew it was a feat he didn’t care to tackle. Wearing his heart on his sleeve only allowed others the advantage. He claimed he was too smart to hand his opponent a loaded gun only to have it pointed at his pride. And yet, somewhere buried deep under his calloused façade, there beats a weeping heart begging his mind for mercy. He couldn’t bear the loneliness, but being alone prevented further damages. His shield was a rose that he gripped with might, only inflicting pain upon the hands of its owner. The irony devastated him.
After a brief introduction, Hiro motioned Ninomiya over to the bar to order a drink. He hadn’t planned on imbibing any alcohol tonight, but thought it polite to give a toast. “I’ll take a martini, and make it as dry as you can.” Maybe a couple of these will mess me up enough to forget everything, even if only for a night.
“So what were you saying about needing advice?” Ninomiya smirked. He knew Hiro had read his mind again.
“Uh… it’s nothing. Besides, it’s your birthday. Cheers.” He took his martini and met it with the Dry Manhattan in his friend’s hand.
“Thanks, man.” Ninomiya could feel Hiro’s eyes searching for thoughts on which to spy. He tried his hardest to rid of any evidence. What am I thinking now? His thoughts taunted for an answer.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to make me guess,” Hiro asked sarcastically. “Is it about Aoi?”
“I told you I’m over that,” he responded grimly. It still hurt to hear her name.
“Don’t kid yourself; it’s much harder living a lie.” This kind of advice irritated Ninomiya the most; Hiro was brutally honest and had a way of prying the truth out of him, too.
“So what? There’s not much I can do about it.”
“How about letting go? If you keep walking facing backwards, you’re going to trip on something and fall again.”
“Yeah…” His voice trailed off and blended into more jovial banter.
Hiro hesitated, but chose to speak. “I invited you tonight because I’m worried about you, buddy. I’m not asking you to forget, but I’m hoping you’ll at least give tomorrow a chance.” There was a worry in his voice that left a ringing in Ninomiya’s ears. Suddenly, he felt awful.
“Hiro, I’m sorry. Today’s your birthday and I’m raining on your parade. You’re right, I’m going to clear my head and have fun tonight.”
His friend stared back, concerned. “So? Why do you need my advice?”
Ninomiya sighed. He took a long sip of his drink and opened his mouth. “Something peculiar happened at work today.” He met a look that inquired for details. He continued. “There was this man who came in for a tuxedo.”
“Someone we know?”
“No…” His voice faded out again. He wished now that Hiro would just eavesdrop on his thoughts so that he didn’t have to vocalize it. If I say it, I’m admitting its validity.
“You know, some thoughts become clearer if you say it out loud,” Hiro said.
I know, Ninomiya thought. That’s precisely why I don’t want to say it.
“I can’t read people’s minds, you know.” Hiro had finished his drink. “Could I have another of the same? Thank you.”
Ninomiya swirled his martini glass and considered the consequences. It wasn’t worth it, but he also knew Hiro wouldn’t back down. “He wasn’t like any person I’ve ever met.” He knew he was being vague. Don’t make me say it again. Setting the now empty glass down on the counter, he began vigorously wiping his hands on his jeans.
Hiro observed Ninomiya’s eyes as it dodged his. Letting out a faint chuckle, he proposed a question: “He wasn’t like any other ‘person’, or any other ‘man’?”
Ninomiya froze. Amazed at how his friend had caught the subtleties, he made a decision. Fuck it. “I caught myself staring at him. I still don’t understand why.”
“What?”
You’re better at reading minds, you know. “I know he’s a man.”
Hiro’s face lit up as he filled in the blanks. “I’m proud of you, bud.”
“What?” It was Ninomiya’s turn to ask the same question. He hadn’t been sure of how Hiro would react to the news, but the reaction confused him.
“Look… I just wanted you to move forward. This may be your chance.”
Seeing the genuine relief in Hiro’s eyes, Ninomiya corrected him: “No, no. I’m not attracted to him.”
“That’s not the point. Do you know how exciting it is for me to hear that someone else is on your mind?”
I didn’t even notice that…
“See! So what exactly happened?” His friend’s curiosity had peaked.
Ninomiya contemplated how much in detail he should reveal. He was never good at answering questions in ways that satisfied the inquirer. It was no surprise, really; he would purposefully avoid giving answers. “Well, he came in to discuss a wedding tuxedo.”
“And don’t be vague like you always are.” Hiro knew Ninomiya’s habits and frequently reminded Ninomiya that he was always one step ahead of him.
Having no choice now but to divulge everything, he took a deep breath and begun to backtrack his memory. He could opt to end the conversation here, and in any other situation, he would have. But after having given the epiphany that yes, Aoi had slipped from his mind even for a while, he was just as curious to figure out how this had happened.
“He asked for a custom tux, so I escorted him to a dressing room to take measurements.” Ninomiya motioned the bartender for another drink. “Could I have the same order?” He pointed at Hiro’s drink.
“Mm-hmm,” Hiro nodded, as he took a sip.
“I… found myself being extremely careful. I had a hard time handling the measuring tape, as if I was afraid of his personal space.”
“His personal space or your personal space?”
Ninomiya combed his hair then shuffled about his seat. He really knows how to correct my stories. He was starting to remember clearly, his hands clammy due to nervousness. Matsumoto had been a cooperative customer throughout the process. Ninomiya noticed how broad Matsumoto’s shoulders are, the toned waist line, and, even over his jeans, Ninomiya noted Matsumoto’s lean legs as they stood there, stalwart in their stance. As he traveled down Matsumoto’s waistline with the measuring tape, his eyes fought to shift attention from the hip area where a fashionable belt was secured. But his mind became more difficult to tame the longer the two spent time in the room. Imagining Matsumoto naked, Ninomiya dropped the measuring tape, disturbed by his own flight of fancy. Much to his dismay, however, the thought was welcomed both mentally and physically as a slight tingling feeling found residence between his legs. To make matters worse, his keen sense of smell caught a waft of Matsumoto’s cologne. There was an earthy quality to the scent, though a faint aquatic aroma followed. It was a fragrance Ninomiya noticed only after measuring his customer’s neck. One of his erogenous zones, Ninomiya wondered whether it was Matsumoto’s, too.
“Hey, Kazu?” Hiro placed a hand on Ninomiya’s shoulders, startling him.
“Oh, sorry.”
“I think you know the answer to your own question.”
What question?
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with exploring. Besides, you can’t know the outcome without giving it a shot.”
“Oh, no, no, no. It’s not like that. And he’s getting married. He comes in to take a look at his order in two weeks,” he reassured himself.
“You could have fooled anyone else with that excuse, but you underestimate my knowledge regarding this sort of thing.” Hiro replied smugly. “Come on, let’s join the others.”
Hiro led him back to the table and offered Ninomiya a seat. He realized that he had situated himself next to a curvaceous woman who took little time in getting friendly.
“Hi there, handsome. You look like you need someone to keep you company.”
He was immediately reminded of why he avoided hangouts like these. If I was content with loose women like you, I wouldn’t be a lonely fuck. He could smell perfume reeking from her body as she placed her head on his shoulders. Though he was repulsed by her lack of self-control, he was also in a state of denial that he wished to resolve. Letting the woman do as she pleased, he took out his new box of cigarettes and allowed the smoke to dissipate both the stench of her perfume and lingering fragments of his imagination. Where’s Aoi when I need her? He chuckled cynically at the thought. As if she was ever here when I needed her.
[end chapter three]