(no subject)
Okay before I vent out here I want to clarify that I am not in any way shape or form refering to anyone in particular with my thoughts. I just need to kinda take a moment to write things down and examine what's been on my mind lately concerning myself and relationships.
Relationships are so peculiar to me... I'm not sure what it is but just from observing others and reflecting on my own past relationships I've left myself very confused by how they work. You take it for granted when you're in one. Everything seems so clear when you have someone in your life but when you're alone for a while everything you knew about why and how your relationship worked slips out of focus. I would love to have some clarity into how you determine whether you've found someone special or not. I don't know! I just feel like sometimes I'm lonely and tend to lose sight of the simple joy of having a pleasant conversation with someone or just having a friend who keeps in touch with you despite whatever distance is between you. I think I have a lot of nice friendships with the people around me. I'm such a hermit I'm not used to having more than a handful of friend at a time and I feel like this year in particular I've really come out of my shell and been more open and friendly towards people in general. I think it's paid off. I miss being in a relationship though heh. Having more than just friendships. I want someone I can confide in with intimately. I miss all that crap. heh. I feel weird even talking about it... I don't know, that's the problem. It feels like as you get older the rules change and things get more complicated and it's not as easy to meet people. I know a lot of people use match.com and other dating services and crap to find people but that's not my style. I mean I would never knock anyone for using that to find people, it all just seems so ingenuine to me. I love the spontanaiety of meeting a new person and just being swept up in the excitement of getting to know them better. That's not to rule out the internet, just I'd rather it be something that happens naturally as opposed to an act of desperation (or whatever you want to call it.) I guess what I'm saying is that at 23 years of age, relationships have never seemed more alien to me. I am far too overanalytical about things, I realize that... regardless, I want someone! heh. I'm happy being alone, it's not like I feel as though I "need" someone per se. It's more like, as much as I feel content with life as is... I long for something more? Is that so wrong? I think it's human nature to want more for yourself, to want someone in your life to be happy with and to go through the up's an down's together. *ramble ramble ramble*
Meh I'll make sense of it all one day. hehe. Sorry for all the nonsense, I just had to get it out of my system. *feels cleansed*
Show's a week from today, Friday I'm getting my tattoo finished. Well hopefully, I only have enough for 2 more hours of work, hopefully he'll either cut me a break or at least finish what needs to be done in the time provided. On the one hand it's less surface area to fill in than last time. On the other hand, this section will wrap around the arm so I have a feeling at the very least it will take as long as the Grand Arcanum section took.
Papers, Presentations, Papers, more Presentations... and FINALS... I'm almost done! :)
Hope all is well with everyone. \m/(_ _)\m/ ROCK!
Relationships are so peculiar to me... I'm not sure what it is but just from observing others and reflecting on my own past relationships I've left myself very confused by how they work. You take it for granted when you're in one. Everything seems so clear when you have someone in your life but when you're alone for a while everything you knew about why and how your relationship worked slips out of focus. I would love to have some clarity into how you determine whether you've found someone special or not. I don't know! I just feel like sometimes I'm lonely and tend to lose sight of the simple joy of having a pleasant conversation with someone or just having a friend who keeps in touch with you despite whatever distance is between you. I think I have a lot of nice friendships with the people around me. I'm such a hermit I'm not used to having more than a handful of friend at a time and I feel like this year in particular I've really come out of my shell and been more open and friendly towards people in general. I think it's paid off. I miss being in a relationship though heh. Having more than just friendships. I want someone I can confide in with intimately. I miss all that crap. heh. I feel weird even talking about it... I don't know, that's the problem. It feels like as you get older the rules change and things get more complicated and it's not as easy to meet people. I know a lot of people use match.com and other dating services and crap to find people but that's not my style. I mean I would never knock anyone for using that to find people, it all just seems so ingenuine to me. I love the spontanaiety of meeting a new person and just being swept up in the excitement of getting to know them better. That's not to rule out the internet, just I'd rather it be something that happens naturally as opposed to an act of desperation (or whatever you want to call it.) I guess what I'm saying is that at 23 years of age, relationships have never seemed more alien to me. I am far too overanalytical about things, I realize that... regardless, I want someone! heh. I'm happy being alone, it's not like I feel as though I "need" someone per se. It's more like, as much as I feel content with life as is... I long for something more? Is that so wrong? I think it's human nature to want more for yourself, to want someone in your life to be happy with and to go through the up's an down's together. *ramble ramble ramble*
Meh I'll make sense of it all one day. hehe. Sorry for all the nonsense, I just had to get it out of my system. *feels cleansed*
Show's a week from today, Friday I'm getting my tattoo finished. Well hopefully, I only have enough for 2 more hours of work, hopefully he'll either cut me a break or at least finish what needs to be done in the time provided. On the one hand it's less surface area to fill in than last time. On the other hand, this section will wrap around the arm so I have a feeling at the very least it will take as long as the Grand Arcanum section took.
Papers, Presentations, Papers, more Presentations... and FINALS... I'm almost done! :)
Hope all is well with everyone. \m/(_ _)\m/ ROCK!