I think you got it right.
Last night was sort of funny. Everyone from the re-merch crew is leaving, which is kind of sad but definately a relief. Linda, said good bye and it was funny, because Linda is an old black lady who says that I remind her a lot of her son. Which is also funny because he's some black guy that lives in the U.K. Don't know what to make of that, but I hope they all do well. On the drive home this morning, I stopped at Wal-Mart to get minutes for the phone and in the parking lot, I noticed that the clouds looked neat. Which isn't at all abnormal or notable because I tend to look at the clouds a lot, but I tried to make an effort to remember what they looked like, since my memory seems to be operating on a sub-par level as of late. I probably won't remember tomorrow, but it feels good today. Also on the way back from work, I started to bungle into one of my "how should I treat people" trains of thought and got really pissed off and cynical. At first I thought it was just because I had completely given up on everyone but then realized it was because every time I resolve turn over a new leaf and change my lifestyle, I fail. But that sort of came full circle and made me realize that as long as I still feel guilt and remorse, I have a chance. Maybe. Thats not to say I'm not angry with myself and others, but I guess I partially know why now. And I'm really going to stop feeling sick and stupid.