Zombie Movie Pitch
Lately I've wound up watching a lot of zombie movies. I don't know why exactly, that just seems to be a sub-genre which is easy to agree upon on our regular "movie nights".
The last one that really stuck w/me was a Spanish film called [REC] (later re-made in Hollywood as "Quarantine")
While we watched it, I was struck by the realization that "zombie film" is just a plot device, while the film itself can be anything- a comedy, a horror film, a bildungsroman, an action film or a romance, even a heart-wrenching drama if the actors and scriptwriting is solid enough.
And then, I suddenly had an idea for a totally original film, which only lacks someone with large sums of money to invest into my personal artistic vision (unlikely) and an audience of millions who can appreciate my twisted sense of humor without being offended (even more unlikely).
...Doesn't matter.... I'm going to write this down anyway. If nothing else, at least I can look back on this some time from now and have a laugh.
So, let me set this up. The camera pans in on an aerial shot of a European city. This is obviously a time of some sort of military conflict, which is evident because of a large number of military convoys and uniformed men in the streets, and smoke visible from areas outside the city limits.
The camera shot stops on a city block by a canal, and zooms in on the exterior of a house.
The windows are lit up and through the curtains we can see that there is a table being set by the residents, who are obviously preparing for a dinner party.
There is a casual converstaion about the difficulty of getting quality food and wine with the current "unpleasantness", and some talk about how work at the office is going to change because of the "the situation". The doorbell rings, and a family of guests walks in. A mother, a father, and two girls, one a teenager on the verge of womanhood, the other a precocious young teen..
The dinner party guests mingle, vaguely discussing the father's plans for a move, and his confidence that the host will be the right man to take over the management of the company, etc.
More guests arrive- another family who also plan on traveling with the first family, and a single older gentleman, Dr. Pfeffer, who is obviously there as a bon vivant and comedian.
As they get ready to sit down to dinner, we notice that the younger girl seems to not be feeling well. The mother informs everyone that Anne has been running a fever, and hopes they don't have to leave on her account.
Of course, before long, the two daughters as well as the teenage son of the second family are all feeling awful, and someone suggests they lay down in the spare room for a bit, hoping to continue with the dinner, as well as discuss some pertinent details of the departing families' posessions, which they hope to retrieve at some time in the future...
.
Naturally, the astute viewers familiar with the genre will have figured out what is wrong with the children
.
Unfortunately for the parents, who have not, when they go up to check on their offspring, they get bitten and also turned into zombies. When the hosts and the Doctor go to check on the missing friends, amidst jokes by the Doctor to dispell the tension of the walk through darkened hallways, they are attacked by bloodthirsty zombies
Losing the comedic relief character to the hungry undead, the hosts manage to block a door with a book-case, trapping their former friends behind it to save themselves
After that there is a slightly slower part of the film, where the hosts decide that they do not want to get into trouble with "the authorities" or get their friends killed, so they will hide them in the back of the house, and buy large chunks of raw meat on the black market to feed the zombie Jews trapped in the building
Depending on the specific direction the final treatment of the script decides to go, there is also potential for scenes showing that zombies continue to do many of the same things regular people do...just clumsily and incoherently.The married couples bicker, the teenagers make out, the funny Doctor continues to provide comedy relief, and the little girl scribbles in her diary.
This is all seen through periodic camera views through cracks in the old bookcase
Eventually, of course, the Nazis come....it is still unclear wheteher it is as rescuers or evil monsters who could care less whether the Jews are zombies. Trucks take the undead away into the night and fog
In a closing shot the camera zooms in on the diary left behind in the wrecked hiding place.
The line clearly visible on the page reads "In spite of everything, I still believe that people are basically good.". Pan left, and a page torn out of the diary is seen laying to the side. It says "to eat"....................
Are you offended? Get a sense of humor, for Chrissakes.
The last one that really stuck w/me was a Spanish film called [REC] (later re-made in Hollywood as "Quarantine")
Click to viewWhile we watched it, I was struck by the realization that "zombie film" is just a plot device, while the film itself can be anything- a comedy, a horror film, a bildungsroman, an action film or a romance, even a heart-wrenching drama if the actors and scriptwriting is solid enough.
And then, I suddenly had an idea for a totally original film, which only lacks someone with large sums of money to invest into my personal artistic vision (unlikely) and an audience of millions who can appreciate my twisted sense of humor without being offended (even more unlikely).
...Doesn't matter.... I'm going to write this down anyway. If nothing else, at least I can look back on this some time from now and have a laugh.
So, let me set this up. The camera pans in on an aerial shot of a European city. This is obviously a time of some sort of military conflict, which is evident because of a large number of military convoys and uniformed men in the streets, and smoke visible from areas outside the city limits.
The camera shot stops on a city block by a canal, and zooms in on the exterior of a house.
The windows are lit up and through the curtains we can see that there is a table being set by the residents, who are obviously preparing for a dinner party.
There is a casual converstaion about the difficulty of getting quality food and wine with the current "unpleasantness", and some talk about how work at the office is going to change because of the "the situation". The doorbell rings, and a family of guests walks in. A mother, a father, and two girls, one a teenager on the verge of womanhood, the other a precocious young teen..
The dinner party guests mingle, vaguely discussing the father's plans for a move, and his confidence that the host will be the right man to take over the management of the company, etc.
More guests arrive- another family who also plan on traveling with the first family, and a single older gentleman, Dr. Pfeffer, who is obviously there as a bon vivant and comedian.
As they get ready to sit down to dinner, we notice that the younger girl seems to not be feeling well. The mother informs everyone that Anne has been running a fever, and hopes they don't have to leave on her account.
Of course, before long, the two daughters as well as the teenage son of the second family are all feeling awful, and someone suggests they lay down in the spare room for a bit, hoping to continue with the dinner, as well as discuss some pertinent details of the departing families' posessions, which they hope to retrieve at some time in the future...
.
Naturally, the astute viewers familiar with the genre will have figured out what is wrong with the children
.
Unfortunately for the parents, who have not, when they go up to check on their offspring, they get bitten and also turned into zombies. When the hosts and the Doctor go to check on the missing friends, amidst jokes by the Doctor to dispell the tension of the walk through darkened hallways, they are attacked by bloodthirsty zombies
Losing the comedic relief character to the hungry undead, the hosts manage to block a door with a book-case, trapping their former friends behind it to save themselves
After that there is a slightly slower part of the film, where the hosts decide that they do not want to get into trouble with "the authorities" or get their friends killed, so they will hide them in the back of the house, and buy large chunks of raw meat on the black market to feed the zombie Jews trapped in the building
Depending on the specific direction the final treatment of the script decides to go, there is also potential for scenes showing that zombies continue to do many of the same things regular people do...just clumsily and incoherently.The married couples bicker, the teenagers make out, the funny Doctor continues to provide comedy relief, and the little girl scribbles in her diary.
This is all seen through periodic camera views through cracks in the old bookcase
Eventually, of course, the Nazis come....it is still unclear wheteher it is as rescuers or evil monsters who could care less whether the Jews are zombies. Trucks take the undead away into the night and fog
In a closing shot the camera zooms in on the diary left behind in the wrecked hiding place.
The line clearly visible on the page reads "In spite of everything, I still believe that people are basically good.". Pan left, and a page torn out of the diary is seen laying to the side. It says "to eat"....................
Are you offended? Get a sense of humor, for Chrissakes.