Everything is different, but it's all the same.
Well, it's been a few years.
For some reason I always come back to this blog when I'm feeling depressed or like my "true self". How crazy is that? I was reading a blog post I wrote a few years ago about how I feel stuck. As if the life I have now is just imaginary and the real me is stuck way deep down or lost in the past. I'm sure that's a sign of some sort of mental illness, but *shrug*.
So much has changed in the last month. My dad died on August 21st, 2018 at roughly 4:45am. I have never experienced a pain quite like this. But what do you do? You have to just keep moving. Part of me feels like this "stuck feeling" protects me in a way. What I mean by that is, some part of my mind still believes it's 2010 and everything is fine. That my dad will still be there when I wake up from this "imaginary life". I know I sound crazy. But this is the only place I can really let all of this out.
Either way, I still have to get up and be a mom everyday. Two kids now (Alaska is 4 and Sterling is 2). I'll come back to this blog in 3 years and think "wow, so much time has passed". It always happens that way.
I guess that's all for now.
For some reason I always come back to this blog when I'm feeling depressed or like my "true self". How crazy is that? I was reading a blog post I wrote a few years ago about how I feel stuck. As if the life I have now is just imaginary and the real me is stuck way deep down or lost in the past. I'm sure that's a sign of some sort of mental illness, but *shrug*.
So much has changed in the last month. My dad died on August 21st, 2018 at roughly 4:45am. I have never experienced a pain quite like this. But what do you do? You have to just keep moving. Part of me feels like this "stuck feeling" protects me in a way. What I mean by that is, some part of my mind still believes it's 2010 and everything is fine. That my dad will still be there when I wake up from this "imaginary life". I know I sound crazy. But this is the only place I can really let all of this out.
Either way, I still have to get up and be a mom everyday. Two kids now (Alaska is 4 and Sterling is 2). I'll come back to this blog in 3 years and think "wow, so much time has passed". It always happens that way.
I guess that's all for now.