Ramble rouser
The closer we get to November the more I wonder why I signed up for National Novel Writing Month... I'm not quite sure where I'm going to get the time to write, although if I haul ass for the next five days at work I just might,might, get caught somewhat up. At least in that alternative universe where everything goes as planned. (If someone has directions...please pass them along, will ya?)
I'm having issues with the whole writing thing right now anyway. Doubting myself (nothing new) and doubting what I've been writing (which is new) seem to be the only things even related to writing that I can get my brain to focus on for anything longer than ten minutes.
The more I look at my output the more I wonder just how committed to this I really am. I know with the frantic activity at my day job this is not a good time to be thinking about this. The Natural Law of Fuck You dictates that it is the only thing I can think about. It doesn't help that I feel like I'm failing in my day job. I can't seem to find the proper rhythm to manage other people and they are taking advantage of that fact. (The one thing I was really not worried about when I took the job.) The main problem is wanting people to like me. I need to get my inner bitch out and about when I'm at work. Easier said than done.
I'm having issues with the whole writing thing right now anyway. Doubting myself (nothing new) and doubting what I've been writing (which is new) seem to be the only things even related to writing that I can get my brain to focus on for anything longer than ten minutes.
The more I look at my output the more I wonder just how committed to this I really am. I know with the frantic activity at my day job this is not a good time to be thinking about this. The Natural Law of Fuck You dictates that it is the only thing I can think about. It doesn't help that I feel like I'm failing in my day job. I can't seem to find the proper rhythm to manage other people and they are taking advantage of that fact. (The one thing I was really not worried about when I took the job.) The main problem is wanting people to like me. I need to get my inner bitch out and about when I'm at work. Easier said than done.