I Could Be In Love With Someone Like You

[amleto]

My first crush on an Irish girl
I was ten years old
And her name was Elaine
Little redhead girl
Well, she looked like you
But if you were ten
Which you’re clearly not
Not that you look old
But you get my-I’ll just stop now

Ok, wait, ‘cause I had a point
No, I swear I did
Well, I think I did
Which is all my life
Or since I was ten
I have had a yen for an Irish lass

Because God knows why
Like the ancient curse of the Shiksa queens

Do I talk too much?

Which is not to say
That I want Elaine
Who turned out to be
When I last checked in
A Republican
And a parapsychologist

If you’ve got a four leaf clover
You could make my dreams come true
I will be your Hebrew slave
Just do the things that Irish girls do
Talk about potato famines
I begin to cry on cue
Sing about the emerald island
Get your Irish eyes a’ smilin’
I could be in love with someone like you

I just left a relationship
With a lovely girl named Alyssa Levine
She was really great, it was all my fault
I just got upset ‘cause
She slept with my brother

So I made a vow
Not to get caught up
In the dating scene
Or the whole routine
With the cousin’s friend
Of a who-knows-what
Like I need that shit

I’ve got marks to make
I’ve got steps to climb
It’s the perfect time
I’ve got books to write
I’ve got things to do
I go out my door
And bump into you
And the jig is up
And my vow is through
I don’t know what I’m doing
But come in and ruin me!

I will write my own Ulysses
If you’re there to show me how
Take me back to Glocca Morra
Bathe me in the River Shannon now
If you’ll be Mrs. O’Leary
Baby, I will be your cow
I’ll deliver shamrocks daily
Buy your Pa new a new shillelagh
I could be in love with someone like you…

…could be my inspiration
And get me past this block
And walk me through the great unknown
You could be my true salvation
Unchain me from this rock
And keep me from being alone
‘Cause I’m no good at being alone

Take me to another level
Let me play bigger halls
I will do a Riverdance
As long as you keep answering my calls
Get me out of my apartment
Keep me from my empty walls
Someone hire John McCormick
Start the wearing of the green
Let me win the Irish sweepstakes
Let me take you home, Kathleen!
I could be in love with someone
I could be in love with someone
I could be in love with someone like you

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Also...

Work = *screams*

Title of my paper: "Title; or, I don't remember learning enough about public and private monuments to write this essay."