Fic: Chérie's Baby, part 9.
Title: Conrad’s Decision (Chérie’s Baby, 9/?)
Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou
Rating|Genre: g | family/friendship, slash, angst
Characters|Pairing: Conrad, Yuuri, Gwendal, Yozak, Greta, Chérie, others | Yuuri/Sara, Conrad/Yuuri
Summary: Wolfram has stormed out of the room where the little girl recently was born; the others follow soon, and Conrad makes a decision.
Word count: 3 426
During a few short moments, nobody said a word.
“I don’t like this…” Gwendal muttered.
“Nobody does”, Conrad replied and nodded at his older brother. Rarely had he seen Gwendal looking so uncomfortable.
“Um”, Yuuri said, “Should I, perhaps, go after him, or..?”
“No!” Conrad snapped, and Yuuri flinched. “You’ve talked to him enough for today, I should think.”
He took a deep breath and noticed the blush that was creeping up on Yuuri’s cheeks. Since when was he the one to make Yuuri uncomfortable? It shouldn’t be like that, but he felt the situation was beyond his control; his emotions were all over the place, as hard to get a hold of as the fluff from a dandelion when a child blows on it.
But he should not allow himself to feel that way; it was irresponsible and weak.
“Sorry, Your Majesty. I didn’t mean to imply that I accuse you…”
The baby whined a little, and Chérie mumbled soft words as if she had decided to pretend the world around her and the baby didn’t exist. She had recently give birth; it was certainly her right to think peaceful and happy thoughts. We must find an effective, painless and quick way to deal with this, Conrad told himself, but he had already thought that thought a million times…
“Well, but I suppose it is my fault…”
Yuuri spoke quieter than usual; he had been sounding like that the whole day. He didn’t sound like himself, and Conrad couldn’t help the thought from escaping: What’s the point of breaking up with Wolfram if it doesn’t make Yuuri more like himself; if it doesn’t make him feel free?
“It’s certainly somebody’s fault”, Gwendal said, “and personally, I feel…”
“Please”, Chérie interrupted. “I don’t care whose fault it is. Yuuri has the right to call it off if he’s not in love with Wolf, but I hate it when my children are unhappy. I would like to run to Wolf and give him a big hug right now but I can’t, so would you please take this outside and let me focus on the one child I can be useful to right now by feeding her?”
Her eyes were tired and shiny with tears, and full of love, and Conrad knew she was right.
“We’re sorry, Mother. Sorry, little Suzanna Jennifer… Come on, everyone.”
Everyone in the room except Anissina began to move as if they were well-drilled soldiers following their Commander.
“Wait”, Chérie said, “Greta can stay. Come here, my darling; I think little Jenny wants her niece to sit beside us.”
Greta’s eyes began to shine and she climbed up in the big bed. Seeing it made Conrad smile despite the situation. Sometimes, his mother really knew just the right thing to say, and perhaps she would be able to make Wolfram feel a little bit better if she got a chance to talk to him in private?
“Am I still her niece even though Wolfram and Yuuri aren’t getting married?”
“Of course”, Chérie said, “because both of them are still your fathers. And that makes Yuuri and his mother sort of my family after all. In a way, we’re all connected…”
That was true, Conrad supposed, and closed the door behind the women and children. Greta was loved by everyone in the family even though she was a human. And the bond he shared with Yuuri was another kind of connection that went deeper than blood. Deeper than love, even. Entirely different from any kind of romantic love, at least - or that’s what he always had believed…
Until this day, he admitted, and a part of him wished that the conversation with Günter earlier had never happened.
Conrad remembered what it had been like when he was younger, when Günter was his teacher. Conrad knew that his former teacher still was in full possession of all his skills, and even without his sword, even with only a few words, could he open Conrad’s eyes to the truth. Once you see the truth, there’s no looking away from it.
He walked through the castle repeating those words they had said over and over again, he tried to find a way to explain them, a way not to think of them as a confession of deeply buried emotions, but it had felt like Günter could read his heart like an open book. There was no way he could take back what he had said in the garden, and perhaps he didn’t even want to take it back…
I guess, up until now, I haven't been aware of any feeling of jealousy I might have felt. Maybe I've just been lying to myself…
That’s what Günter had made him say; that was what Conrad had provoked Günter to make him say, but maybe he could explain it away by stress and the hot sun? Maybe he hadn’t spoken seriously. But if he hadn’t, well, that would mean that he didn’t love that black-haired, sweet and strong and foolish and wise boy with all his body, heart and soul, but he did. The only mystery was how he had been able to deny it until Yuuri fell in love with King Saralegui…
I shouldn’t even think about it, he tried to reason with himself. Now is not the time to worry about my feelings.
But it was hard not to, he realized. He had been walking with the others without thinking, and it looked like Gwendal had been leading the way, because they were in his office, appropriately distanced from mother and baby.
It felt like they were all waiting for something, just standing there in the room, and not even Gwendal had taken his usual seat. Yozak was actually sitting on the desk, but Gwendal didn’t appear to notice. The Sage was lurking in a corner, and if he knew of any similar events in the past and how they had played out, he didn’t care to share the information.
“Your Majesty”, Günter finally said. Then he stopped, as if there was nothing else to say, as if he had stopped being a royal adviser and was just a very sad and worried man.
Perhaps that’s why it looked like Yuuri was addressing himself only to Günter when he said:
“I’m so sorry; I’m so very sorry! But I really didn’t know that he was going to take it so hard.”
He was obviously in reference to Wolfram, but, Conrad thought, Yuuri could just as well have spoken about any of them.
“You should have known”, Gwendal said. “Conrad said he told you. But you went to see Saralegui, even when we told you not to go.”
Yuuri said nothing.
“Is it really possible”, Yozak said, “that after all this time, you really didn’t know that Wolfram is in love with you? Did you think he was just playing? After all this time of sleeping together…”
“Not sleeping together!” Yuuri flushed crimson. “I mean; not like that…”
“Okay, after all this time of sharing a bedroom.” Yozak shrugged. “Whatever. The point is; how can you not know when someone feels that way about you?”
Yuuri looked so miserable that Conrad felt sorry for him and said:
“I guess I should have dropped a hint sooner…”
“I should not have just sat back and waited”, Gwendal said. “I was wrong to believe that you would fall in love with Wolfram if you just got enough time…”
“Wait a minute!” Yuuri stared at Gwendal. “Do you mean that you also knew that I wasn’t in love with him, but he was? With me, I mean… Why didn’t you do something?”
“Your Majesty.” Gwendal sighed. “I did not think it was my job to ‘do something’ about it. I also did not think it was Conrad’s job, or Yozak’s, but I see now that I was mistaken. Forgive me for saying so, but you have not handled this situation very well, Your Majesty.”
Yuuri gulped and looked like he was chewing on air.
“Yes, I get it now. I understand, and I am sorry, alright? I didn’t want this to happen. You all look at me as if I’m the most despicable person alive and I guess I deserve that for breaking Wolfram’s heart but it all happened so quickly, I mean, everything has been so confusing and it’s been so much to handle…”
“But you’ve had time to think it through”, Gwendal said with a frown. “After all, it’s been two years, and…”
“For you, maybe”, Yuuri cut him off. “When Wolfram pointed that out before, well, it kind of threw me for a loop…” Yuuri seemed to be searching for words, and Conrad suddenly thought he knew what he was getting at. “I mean, has it really been two years? Because last time I checked back on Earth, I was still only sixteen. But here… suddenly, your mother’s having a baby and Wolfram talks of marriage, and I’m still just trying to figure this being a king stuff out, you know?”
Conrad nodded slowly and thought back to what it had been like when he came back from Earth. Not many things had changed in Shin Makoku, because things didn’t usually change quickly there, but there were small things that were different that made him realize that he had been away a very, very long time.
Wolfram, for one, had changed. Conrad remembered what Yuuri had told him about when he went back in time and met Julia. He had also met Wolfram there, and Wolfram had given Yuuri flowers. Conrad had never known where they came from, the familiar blue flower petals that fell from the sky the day he went to war, but it had been his little brother who had sent them as some kind of message. Then there was the long war, and then the long trip to Earth, and then there was a distance between Wolfram and him that seemed impossible to bridge. Not until Yuuri came into their lives did he and Wolfram get close again…
The point was: Years had passed in their world, but not in Yuuri’s, and not in Yuuri’s head. He was, in fact, still only sixteen years old. Only sixteen, so young; too young… But not too young to kiss another king, apparently…
“I’m sorry, Conrad”, Yuuri said, and Conrad flinched.
“I’m not the one you should apologize to”, he mumbled, unable to mask his confusion. He had been lost in thoughts again.
“I think the kiddo was referring to the strange look on your face just now”, Yozak chimed in. “If Wolfram is hurt, your heart is bleeding, too. Isn’t that so, Commander?”
Conrad didn’t reply. It was true, but it was not the whole truth.
Günter spoke, for the first time in quite a while.
“You have learned something now, haven’t you, Your Majesty? Your actions affect a whole lot of people. It has always been this way, but I know that it has been hard for you to take in the true meaning of it. You can’t rule a country well without also thinking about the people who are close to you.”
Yuuri nodded slowly. Conrad could see that the boy king finally understood, but he suspected that he was still as confused.
“Little by little”, Yuuri said, “I begin to see the truth of your words. But as for what I’m going to do…”
“Quite frankly”, Gwendal said, “I think Saralegui is more to blame. He is the one with more experience with ruling a kingdom and every responsibility that comes with it; he should not have seduced you into forgetting your country.”
That’s true! Conrad thought. But on the other hand, what if he was as caught up in the moment the same way as Yuuri was? They’re both so young. Besides, even if King Saralegui is cunning and shrewd, anyone can be overwhelmed with feelings. Even when they shouldn’t. I’m the first one to admit it, and someone as serious and calm as Gwendal can’t understand…
And Yuuri immediately defended the one he loved.
“Actually”, he confessed with a blush, “I was the one who took the first step…”
Conrad wondered what it had been like, and what kind of thoughts that were running through Yuuri’s head that caught him to blush like that. Was he remembering every second of it, the thrill of the moment when he - what? began to speak his mind, touched the other boy’s hand…
No, Conrad had no idea about what it had been like, and he was happy he hadn’t been around to witness it, but a love confession should always be something wonderful and sweet, and he was happy for Yuuri, that he had gotten the chance to experience that, even if the happiness had been short-lived…
“Nonsense”, Gwendal said. “You are cute and innocent and powerful; he wanted you from the first moment he saw you. That much is obvious to anyone.”
Under any other circumstances, hearing such words from Gwendal would probably have made Yuuri blush even more, but Yuuri looked like he didn’t pause to think about them. He was determined, and upset, and so in love.
I wonder though, Conrad thought, if Saralegui truly can appreciate him the way I do?
That was something he knew he wasn’t allowed to think, and now he was the one who blushed. But Yuuri and Gwendal didn’t care about him, the two of them locked eyes with each other, and Günter was hanging on to their every word, as expected.
“But what if I wanted him, too? What if I felt something for him right from the start? I didn’t really understand it at first, but… I did. We both did.”
The idea that Yuuri’s first love was neither Wolfram nor himself wasn’t new anymore, but hearing it spoken out loud like that was unexpectedly painful. Conrad took a deep breath and tried to push the unwelcome thoughts out of his head; where did the sudden outburst of passion and jealousy come from?
Conrad looked around and he met Yozak’s eyes. He looked away, but it was too late; Yozak’s facial expression told him that he couldn’t hide his true feelings from an experienced spy…
No, that’s not true, he tried to reassure himself. Nobody has a clue about how I feel about Yuuri, except Günter…
But when he met his friend’s eyes again, he thought that he could read endless sympathy in them.
Gwendal stared at Yuuri, who stared right back at him.
“Love at first sight”, Gwendal said, “is nothing more than lust at first sight.”
Yuuri took a deep breath and almost shouted:
“How dare you say something like that?!”
“That’s what I believe”, Gwendal said calmly. “I have every right to tell you my opinion. It’s my duty as a son and general of this country and, if I may say so, as your older and more experienced friend.”
“Wh… what?”
Conrad had to hide a smile, and in the corner of his eye he saw Yozak and Günter do the same. Yuuri probably believed that a taciturn man like Gwendal avoided talking about his feeling at all costs. It was true that Gwendal rarely spoke emotionally about anything, but that didn’t mean that he was unable to talk about things like friendship if it was called for. Gwendal usually thought that it wasn’t.
Besides, Yuuri himself, helped by Greta, had softened Gwendal a great deal… but most likely none of them was aware of it.
Gwendal, however, did not smile.
“I mean, we are friends, aren’t we? After everything we’ve been through.”
“Of course!” Yuuri replied, but his smile was hesitating.
“Don’t look at me like that”, Gwendal said. “I’m just trying to have a conversation with you about the future of this country.”
But Yuuri is the future of this country, Conrad thought. That’s what we all believed…
“Of course”, Yuuri repeated. “I know, and I’m sorry. And, Gwendal… Conrad… please believe me when I say that I do care about Wolfram, and I never meant to hurt him. Do you believe me?”
“I do”, Gwendal said. “It’s not in your nature to be cruel. However, I think you need to talk to him about it at some point.”
“It’s just that our relationship started out the wrong way. I became his fiancé before I even knew any of you properly… Gwendal, I thought you were scary at first, and Günter, I thought you were pretty odd, and quite frankly, I didn’t even take this world seriously at all. I do now. I have changed, and I have learned to think of Wolfram as a friend, but… this engagement, I’ve just never been able to deal with it properly, and… Anyway, it’s just that I am confused. I need to talk this through with Wolfram. And then with Sara. And figure out what to do.”
Gwendal sighed, but right there and then, Conrad made up his mind.
“You are right, that’s what you need to do. After you have talked to Wolfram, you should see King Saralegui as soon as possible, and take your time to figure it all out. And if… Your Majesty, if you decide to stay with him, then I’ll support you and stand by your side, as long as you need me and want me there.”
Yuuri’s dark eyes looked right into his, like so many times before. Many, many times had Conrad felt like their eyes spoke volumes when words weren’t enough, and it had always made his heart sing. Sort of instinctively. But this was the first time that it made him nervous, afraid that he said too much - not with his words, but with his eyes…
Yuuri’s eyes were dark and beautiful, but unreadable. They didn’t look away, but Conrad could not read their message. He didn’t care, because he realized that his heart had already made its decision a long time ago.
“As expected of Conrad”, Gwendal said with a sigh but without disappointment. “Always the first one to follow the king to the end of the world, no matter how foolish the circumstances…”
Conrad turned his eyes to his brother instead, and he didn’t care if Gwendal had already figured out the truth. Perhaps they all had, but for some reason, that didn’t bother him at all.
“I can’t do anything other than that”, he said. “I have no other choice; I have no other wish.”
“That goes for me as well”, the Sage said. Conrad saw Yuuri’s eyes widen, but his young friend was perfectly calm. “I know what Shinou would say… but I’m not asking for his permission; in this life, I’m not his ‘Great Sage’ first and foremost, but Shibuya’s friend. I guess you’re going to need my advice from time to time even in Small Shimaron, Shibuya.”
Yuuri seemed to search for words, but as far as Conrad was concerned, he didn’t have to say anything. It was already settled.
“Well, then”, Gwendal said. “That’s how it’s going to be. All at once, Shin Makoku loses not only the Maou, but Lord Conrad Weller and the Sage as well…” Gwendal turned to Yozak and raised an eyebrow. “And you too, I suppose.”
“Hey, wait a minute, Your Excellency!” Yozak jumped down from the desk and stepped closer to the rest of them. “Travelling all over the place is second nature to me; there’s no reason why I can’t be your best spy and help the Commander keep Yuuri safe at the same time.”
Yuuri looked from one to the other, “But…”, he began. “That’s just… thank you, but…”
“But what?” Gwendal frowned. “That’s just the way it has to be, if you insist that the two of you are so deeply in love. It’s not easy to manage a kingdom without a king, but I guess that’s my job now. We’ll find a solution.”
“But aren’t you forgetting something?!” Yuuri had regained his ability to speak. “Who says I’m going to abdicate? I know it’s not like I can demand it of Sara, but he might actually want to live with me in Shin Makoku.”
Yuuri smiled brightly, he even looked happy for once as if he was suddenly dreaming with his eyes open, and no one else spoke. After a while, Yuuri’s smile died away.
“What?” he said.
Again, there was silence. Günter was the one to break it.
“Nothing, Your Majesty. Let’s all hope that it is as you said.”
Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou
Rating|Genre: g | family/friendship, slash, angst
Characters|Pairing: Conrad, Yuuri, Gwendal, Yozak, Greta, Chérie, others | Yuuri/Sara, Conrad/Yuuri
Summary: Wolfram has stormed out of the room where the little girl recently was born; the others follow soon, and Conrad makes a decision.
Word count: 3 426
During a few short moments, nobody said a word.
“I don’t like this…” Gwendal muttered.
“Nobody does”, Conrad replied and nodded at his older brother. Rarely had he seen Gwendal looking so uncomfortable.
“Um”, Yuuri said, “Should I, perhaps, go after him, or..?”
“No!” Conrad snapped, and Yuuri flinched. “You’ve talked to him enough for today, I should think.”
He took a deep breath and noticed the blush that was creeping up on Yuuri’s cheeks. Since when was he the one to make Yuuri uncomfortable? It shouldn’t be like that, but he felt the situation was beyond his control; his emotions were all over the place, as hard to get a hold of as the fluff from a dandelion when a child blows on it.
But he should not allow himself to feel that way; it was irresponsible and weak.
“Sorry, Your Majesty. I didn’t mean to imply that I accuse you…”
The baby whined a little, and Chérie mumbled soft words as if she had decided to pretend the world around her and the baby didn’t exist. She had recently give birth; it was certainly her right to think peaceful and happy thoughts. We must find an effective, painless and quick way to deal with this, Conrad told himself, but he had already thought that thought a million times…
“Well, but I suppose it is my fault…”
Yuuri spoke quieter than usual; he had been sounding like that the whole day. He didn’t sound like himself, and Conrad couldn’t help the thought from escaping: What’s the point of breaking up with Wolfram if it doesn’t make Yuuri more like himself; if it doesn’t make him feel free?
“It’s certainly somebody’s fault”, Gwendal said, “and personally, I feel…”
“Please”, Chérie interrupted. “I don’t care whose fault it is. Yuuri has the right to call it off if he’s not in love with Wolf, but I hate it when my children are unhappy. I would like to run to Wolf and give him a big hug right now but I can’t, so would you please take this outside and let me focus on the one child I can be useful to right now by feeding her?”
Her eyes were tired and shiny with tears, and full of love, and Conrad knew she was right.
“We’re sorry, Mother. Sorry, little Suzanna Jennifer… Come on, everyone.”
Everyone in the room except Anissina began to move as if they were well-drilled soldiers following their Commander.
“Wait”, Chérie said, “Greta can stay. Come here, my darling; I think little Jenny wants her niece to sit beside us.”
Greta’s eyes began to shine and she climbed up in the big bed. Seeing it made Conrad smile despite the situation. Sometimes, his mother really knew just the right thing to say, and perhaps she would be able to make Wolfram feel a little bit better if she got a chance to talk to him in private?
“Am I still her niece even though Wolfram and Yuuri aren’t getting married?”
“Of course”, Chérie said, “because both of them are still your fathers. And that makes Yuuri and his mother sort of my family after all. In a way, we’re all connected…”
That was true, Conrad supposed, and closed the door behind the women and children. Greta was loved by everyone in the family even though she was a human. And the bond he shared with Yuuri was another kind of connection that went deeper than blood. Deeper than love, even. Entirely different from any kind of romantic love, at least - or that’s what he always had believed…
Until this day, he admitted, and a part of him wished that the conversation with Günter earlier had never happened.
Conrad remembered what it had been like when he was younger, when Günter was his teacher. Conrad knew that his former teacher still was in full possession of all his skills, and even without his sword, even with only a few words, could he open Conrad’s eyes to the truth. Once you see the truth, there’s no looking away from it.
He walked through the castle repeating those words they had said over and over again, he tried to find a way to explain them, a way not to think of them as a confession of deeply buried emotions, but it had felt like Günter could read his heart like an open book. There was no way he could take back what he had said in the garden, and perhaps he didn’t even want to take it back…
I guess, up until now, I haven't been aware of any feeling of jealousy I might have felt. Maybe I've just been lying to myself…
That’s what Günter had made him say; that was what Conrad had provoked Günter to make him say, but maybe he could explain it away by stress and the hot sun? Maybe he hadn’t spoken seriously. But if he hadn’t, well, that would mean that he didn’t love that black-haired, sweet and strong and foolish and wise boy with all his body, heart and soul, but he did. The only mystery was how he had been able to deny it until Yuuri fell in love with King Saralegui…
I shouldn’t even think about it, he tried to reason with himself. Now is not the time to worry about my feelings.
But it was hard not to, he realized. He had been walking with the others without thinking, and it looked like Gwendal had been leading the way, because they were in his office, appropriately distanced from mother and baby.
It felt like they were all waiting for something, just standing there in the room, and not even Gwendal had taken his usual seat. Yozak was actually sitting on the desk, but Gwendal didn’t appear to notice. The Sage was lurking in a corner, and if he knew of any similar events in the past and how they had played out, he didn’t care to share the information.
“Your Majesty”, Günter finally said. Then he stopped, as if there was nothing else to say, as if he had stopped being a royal adviser and was just a very sad and worried man.
Perhaps that’s why it looked like Yuuri was addressing himself only to Günter when he said:
“I’m so sorry; I’m so very sorry! But I really didn’t know that he was going to take it so hard.”
He was obviously in reference to Wolfram, but, Conrad thought, Yuuri could just as well have spoken about any of them.
“You should have known”, Gwendal said. “Conrad said he told you. But you went to see Saralegui, even when we told you not to go.”
Yuuri said nothing.
“Is it really possible”, Yozak said, “that after all this time, you really didn’t know that Wolfram is in love with you? Did you think he was just playing? After all this time of sleeping together…”
“Not sleeping together!” Yuuri flushed crimson. “I mean; not like that…”
“Okay, after all this time of sharing a bedroom.” Yozak shrugged. “Whatever. The point is; how can you not know when someone feels that way about you?”
Yuuri looked so miserable that Conrad felt sorry for him and said:
“I guess I should have dropped a hint sooner…”
“I should not have just sat back and waited”, Gwendal said. “I was wrong to believe that you would fall in love with Wolfram if you just got enough time…”
“Wait a minute!” Yuuri stared at Gwendal. “Do you mean that you also knew that I wasn’t in love with him, but he was? With me, I mean… Why didn’t you do something?”
“Your Majesty.” Gwendal sighed. “I did not think it was my job to ‘do something’ about it. I also did not think it was Conrad’s job, or Yozak’s, but I see now that I was mistaken. Forgive me for saying so, but you have not handled this situation very well, Your Majesty.”
Yuuri gulped and looked like he was chewing on air.
“Yes, I get it now. I understand, and I am sorry, alright? I didn’t want this to happen. You all look at me as if I’m the most despicable person alive and I guess I deserve that for breaking Wolfram’s heart but it all happened so quickly, I mean, everything has been so confusing and it’s been so much to handle…”
“But you’ve had time to think it through”, Gwendal said with a frown. “After all, it’s been two years, and…”
“For you, maybe”, Yuuri cut him off. “When Wolfram pointed that out before, well, it kind of threw me for a loop…” Yuuri seemed to be searching for words, and Conrad suddenly thought he knew what he was getting at. “I mean, has it really been two years? Because last time I checked back on Earth, I was still only sixteen. But here… suddenly, your mother’s having a baby and Wolfram talks of marriage, and I’m still just trying to figure this being a king stuff out, you know?”
Conrad nodded slowly and thought back to what it had been like when he came back from Earth. Not many things had changed in Shin Makoku, because things didn’t usually change quickly there, but there were small things that were different that made him realize that he had been away a very, very long time.
Wolfram, for one, had changed. Conrad remembered what Yuuri had told him about when he went back in time and met Julia. He had also met Wolfram there, and Wolfram had given Yuuri flowers. Conrad had never known where they came from, the familiar blue flower petals that fell from the sky the day he went to war, but it had been his little brother who had sent them as some kind of message. Then there was the long war, and then the long trip to Earth, and then there was a distance between Wolfram and him that seemed impossible to bridge. Not until Yuuri came into their lives did he and Wolfram get close again…
The point was: Years had passed in their world, but not in Yuuri’s, and not in Yuuri’s head. He was, in fact, still only sixteen years old. Only sixteen, so young; too young… But not too young to kiss another king, apparently…
“I’m sorry, Conrad”, Yuuri said, and Conrad flinched.
“I’m not the one you should apologize to”, he mumbled, unable to mask his confusion. He had been lost in thoughts again.
“I think the kiddo was referring to the strange look on your face just now”, Yozak chimed in. “If Wolfram is hurt, your heart is bleeding, too. Isn’t that so, Commander?”
Conrad didn’t reply. It was true, but it was not the whole truth.
Günter spoke, for the first time in quite a while.
“You have learned something now, haven’t you, Your Majesty? Your actions affect a whole lot of people. It has always been this way, but I know that it has been hard for you to take in the true meaning of it. You can’t rule a country well without also thinking about the people who are close to you.”
Yuuri nodded slowly. Conrad could see that the boy king finally understood, but he suspected that he was still as confused.
“Little by little”, Yuuri said, “I begin to see the truth of your words. But as for what I’m going to do…”
“Quite frankly”, Gwendal said, “I think Saralegui is more to blame. He is the one with more experience with ruling a kingdom and every responsibility that comes with it; he should not have seduced you into forgetting your country.”
That’s true! Conrad thought. But on the other hand, what if he was as caught up in the moment the same way as Yuuri was? They’re both so young. Besides, even if King Saralegui is cunning and shrewd, anyone can be overwhelmed with feelings. Even when they shouldn’t. I’m the first one to admit it, and someone as serious and calm as Gwendal can’t understand…
And Yuuri immediately defended the one he loved.
“Actually”, he confessed with a blush, “I was the one who took the first step…”
Conrad wondered what it had been like, and what kind of thoughts that were running through Yuuri’s head that caught him to blush like that. Was he remembering every second of it, the thrill of the moment when he - what? began to speak his mind, touched the other boy’s hand…
No, Conrad had no idea about what it had been like, and he was happy he hadn’t been around to witness it, but a love confession should always be something wonderful and sweet, and he was happy for Yuuri, that he had gotten the chance to experience that, even if the happiness had been short-lived…
“Nonsense”, Gwendal said. “You are cute and innocent and powerful; he wanted you from the first moment he saw you. That much is obvious to anyone.”
Under any other circumstances, hearing such words from Gwendal would probably have made Yuuri blush even more, but Yuuri looked like he didn’t pause to think about them. He was determined, and upset, and so in love.
I wonder though, Conrad thought, if Saralegui truly can appreciate him the way I do?
That was something he knew he wasn’t allowed to think, and now he was the one who blushed. But Yuuri and Gwendal didn’t care about him, the two of them locked eyes with each other, and Günter was hanging on to their every word, as expected.
“But what if I wanted him, too? What if I felt something for him right from the start? I didn’t really understand it at first, but… I did. We both did.”
The idea that Yuuri’s first love was neither Wolfram nor himself wasn’t new anymore, but hearing it spoken out loud like that was unexpectedly painful. Conrad took a deep breath and tried to push the unwelcome thoughts out of his head; where did the sudden outburst of passion and jealousy come from?
Conrad looked around and he met Yozak’s eyes. He looked away, but it was too late; Yozak’s facial expression told him that he couldn’t hide his true feelings from an experienced spy…
No, that’s not true, he tried to reassure himself. Nobody has a clue about how I feel about Yuuri, except Günter…
But when he met his friend’s eyes again, he thought that he could read endless sympathy in them.
Gwendal stared at Yuuri, who stared right back at him.
“Love at first sight”, Gwendal said, “is nothing more than lust at first sight.”
Yuuri took a deep breath and almost shouted:
“How dare you say something like that?!”
“That’s what I believe”, Gwendal said calmly. “I have every right to tell you my opinion. It’s my duty as a son and general of this country and, if I may say so, as your older and more experienced friend.”
“Wh… what?”
Conrad had to hide a smile, and in the corner of his eye he saw Yozak and Günter do the same. Yuuri probably believed that a taciturn man like Gwendal avoided talking about his feeling at all costs. It was true that Gwendal rarely spoke emotionally about anything, but that didn’t mean that he was unable to talk about things like friendship if it was called for. Gwendal usually thought that it wasn’t.
Besides, Yuuri himself, helped by Greta, had softened Gwendal a great deal… but most likely none of them was aware of it.
Gwendal, however, did not smile.
“I mean, we are friends, aren’t we? After everything we’ve been through.”
“Of course!” Yuuri replied, but his smile was hesitating.
“Don’t look at me like that”, Gwendal said. “I’m just trying to have a conversation with you about the future of this country.”
But Yuuri is the future of this country, Conrad thought. That’s what we all believed…
“Of course”, Yuuri repeated. “I know, and I’m sorry. And, Gwendal… Conrad… please believe me when I say that I do care about Wolfram, and I never meant to hurt him. Do you believe me?”
“I do”, Gwendal said. “It’s not in your nature to be cruel. However, I think you need to talk to him about it at some point.”
“It’s just that our relationship started out the wrong way. I became his fiancé before I even knew any of you properly… Gwendal, I thought you were scary at first, and Günter, I thought you were pretty odd, and quite frankly, I didn’t even take this world seriously at all. I do now. I have changed, and I have learned to think of Wolfram as a friend, but… this engagement, I’ve just never been able to deal with it properly, and… Anyway, it’s just that I am confused. I need to talk this through with Wolfram. And then with Sara. And figure out what to do.”
Gwendal sighed, but right there and then, Conrad made up his mind.
“You are right, that’s what you need to do. After you have talked to Wolfram, you should see King Saralegui as soon as possible, and take your time to figure it all out. And if… Your Majesty, if you decide to stay with him, then I’ll support you and stand by your side, as long as you need me and want me there.”
Yuuri’s dark eyes looked right into his, like so many times before. Many, many times had Conrad felt like their eyes spoke volumes when words weren’t enough, and it had always made his heart sing. Sort of instinctively. But this was the first time that it made him nervous, afraid that he said too much - not with his words, but with his eyes…
Yuuri’s eyes were dark and beautiful, but unreadable. They didn’t look away, but Conrad could not read their message. He didn’t care, because he realized that his heart had already made its decision a long time ago.
“As expected of Conrad”, Gwendal said with a sigh but without disappointment. “Always the first one to follow the king to the end of the world, no matter how foolish the circumstances…”
Conrad turned his eyes to his brother instead, and he didn’t care if Gwendal had already figured out the truth. Perhaps they all had, but for some reason, that didn’t bother him at all.
“I can’t do anything other than that”, he said. “I have no other choice; I have no other wish.”
“That goes for me as well”, the Sage said. Conrad saw Yuuri’s eyes widen, but his young friend was perfectly calm. “I know what Shinou would say… but I’m not asking for his permission; in this life, I’m not his ‘Great Sage’ first and foremost, but Shibuya’s friend. I guess you’re going to need my advice from time to time even in Small Shimaron, Shibuya.”
Yuuri seemed to search for words, but as far as Conrad was concerned, he didn’t have to say anything. It was already settled.
“Well, then”, Gwendal said. “That’s how it’s going to be. All at once, Shin Makoku loses not only the Maou, but Lord Conrad Weller and the Sage as well…” Gwendal turned to Yozak and raised an eyebrow. “And you too, I suppose.”
“Hey, wait a minute, Your Excellency!” Yozak jumped down from the desk and stepped closer to the rest of them. “Travelling all over the place is second nature to me; there’s no reason why I can’t be your best spy and help the Commander keep Yuuri safe at the same time.”
Yuuri looked from one to the other, “But…”, he began. “That’s just… thank you, but…”
“But what?” Gwendal frowned. “That’s just the way it has to be, if you insist that the two of you are so deeply in love. It’s not easy to manage a kingdom without a king, but I guess that’s my job now. We’ll find a solution.”
“But aren’t you forgetting something?!” Yuuri had regained his ability to speak. “Who says I’m going to abdicate? I know it’s not like I can demand it of Sara, but he might actually want to live with me in Shin Makoku.”
Yuuri smiled brightly, he even looked happy for once as if he was suddenly dreaming with his eyes open, and no one else spoke. After a while, Yuuri’s smile died away.
“What?” he said.
Again, there was silence. Günter was the one to break it.
“Nothing, Your Majesty. Let’s all hope that it is as you said.”