Queer Theory according to Dr. Suresh...

[amles80]

Title: Queer Theory (More Than Friends 1/?)
Fandom: Heroes
Characters/pairing: Molly Walker, Matt Parkman/Mohinder Suresh (Molly-centric)
Rating/Genre: g/slash
Summary: Molly is eavesdropping after dinner and hears Matt and Mohinder talk about their relationship.
Prompt: #4 "Protection", Mystic table, 10iloveyou
Word count: 2 174
Notes: So far, almost all my

Comments

[amles80]

Yes, I can see why that makes you nervous. But I can't see anything wrong with the way you comment - it's like Christmas to me! :D But I don't know, people react diffrently...

And now that we're talking about comment style, I'd like to point out that if ever you read something that you think is not so good for whatever reason, I'd love to hear it! I don't know why people are so afraid of criticism. Personally I would welcome some "con crit". I feel that if I get a comment that I interpret as negative/critical (not that it happens a lot; in my experience, people can say "yay I loved this!" but mostly without explanation, and if they don't like it they say nothing) I would like to understand why the person feels the way s/he does and it wouldn't make me angry. Because 1) we all have individual taste and 2) it makes my writng better if I'm told what's NOT working.

Oh, and I don't mean to imply that you have to read everything I've written and review it. I'm just saying that I believe you're smart, and whatever you read, feel free to say what you want about it!

Yes, happy is good. :D I have forgotten where my first more angsty idea was going to take me because I enjoyed writing this more. Like I said, writing darker things just isn't my strong suit. :)

[kidarania_nika]

*does the "happy little squee" dance* :D You called me smart! Whee~

I like to get to know my authors before I con-crit any of their work, unless they truly need a single, well-thought out review to balance all the horrid comments people had previously piled on them. That way I can understand why there is a particular mistake in a piece of writing, and not just assume that one story shows an author's entire skill set.

I think that's why I started commenting the way I do. If you relay how a piece makes you feel, you can still guide the author to understanding their own work better but without implying that there's something wrong with what they've done.

[amles80]

Yes I did, and I'm not afraid to do it again when I feel it's appropriate!

Like right now. I like the way you think! Of course it makes sense to know the author. It's very true that not just one story shows it all. I'm part of a writing group (a "spin-off" from a creative writing class) and I remember that there was one text in particular that I just didn't "get" in the beginning. But with more time we learned to understand each other better, and to get to know each other on a personal level... and as a result, we're all better readers/critics and, I hope, better writers. So, yeah... I get your point.

[kidarania_nika]

That is one of the highest compliments anyone has ever paid me. One of the highest that anyone can give. *has a happy floaty feeling* :D I love your gentle spirit; I'm still learning how you think, but I'm looking forward to learning more about you. <3

[amles80]

Do I have a gentle spirit? I don't know. Anyway, the way I think is not complicated. :)

[kidarania_nika]

You /do/ have a gentle spirit! It's like you have this aura of - of - of happiness! about you. Happiness and hope.

[amles80]

Oh my. Too bad I can't see my own aura then. I should print this and put it on my wall. <3

(I need to think about this...)

[kidarania_nika]

:o

I don't even know what to say. Except... you do radiate a sense of kindness. I'm half-torn between wanting to tease you - to see if you will fight back - and wanting to just placate your fears... but, as neither of those are part of my personality, I won't do either. ^^;; Instead I'll probably just ask you questions and make you think too much.

[amles80]

Sounds good. :) And I can’t argue that I’m a “kind” person rather than rude, harsh, etc… but I find it interesting that you have this idea of me already after so short time. Of course there’s always a first impression but I’m never really sure about what impression people get of me, and when they tell me I’m often surprised.

[kidarania_nika]

Well, I've found that a person always has all facets of a personality. While I'm positive there's a situation out there that can make you a harsher person, I've seen no evidence that it rules your life; And that's why I've called you kind.

I'm...how to put it...a bit of a psychoanalyst. Instead of interviewing you and testing you for personality traits and quirks, I just read. I love just sitting down for a good six hours and learning a person by first experiencing what angle they'd like to show others.

Sometimes it is more difficult -- and in fanfiction it is most difficult, (because the author is using their own words to explain someone else, not his or herself,) -- but I like gaining a sense of someone's "self" before I talk to them, and then seeing how my opinion changes as we get to know each other.

...I must admit, I was worried at first. I still am, a bit. I'm extremely aggravated at my own life right now, and I'd hate for that to come across in how you experience me. I can try all I want to keep it out of my writing, but I see traces of it all over the place and it worries me greatly... that somehow, you'll only see the bad in me.

[amles80]

Hey, I like talking to you. :) I mean, sure I meet very nice people on LJ every now and then but most people just drop a comment and then they’re gone. I’m delighted by the fact that you want to stay and talk.

Your comments kind of remind me of a couple of my writing friends. When we talk about somebody’s work, I’m often amazed by how they manage to notice and point out details and connections that I haven’t thought of. I mean, of course I think too, but I kind of feel like I’m mostly just splashing about on the surface of things with an occasional blind plunge when some people are more like submarines. If you see what I mean. (Maybe not…the middle of the night again…)

I’ve always (?) felt more comfortable expressing myself in writing (not with very close friends/family…) than talking. And I’m very sure that also fiction tells a lot about a person, even when fiction is supposed to mean “this is not about me”! Fanfiction must be a little different because we’re using characters that someone else has created but even here, we pick and chose for a reason, don’t we, and twist and turn the plots in our own way… I don’t know what kind of conclusions that are possible to draw (I doubt anyone would think that all people who write Nathan/Peter wants to have incestuous relationships with their siblings, for example!) but somewhere in it, it must mean something, even if it’s just the imagination running wild… I know that some (many?) of the things I write here is “explainable” if I wanted to see reasons why I write this or that, and the same is always true with my original writing. And yet most of the things I write (excluding the period when I wrote poetry) are very far from my real life…

When I started doing this, I had this theory that it could be good for my original writing, that the relative anonymity could help me “go deeper” and write better, but I don’t know. We did an “experiment” once in my creative writing class at the end of the 2nd semester. We were used to each other’s way of writing then, so the challenge was to write something the others saw as different. Like “you always write so beautifully, only romantic and happy stuff [not true, not happy!], try to write something dark, dirty, bloody, violent!”… I took it literally at first and wrote something bloody about a girl who turned into a monster and killed people, but that was just too crappy to let anybody read. So I made a serious attempt at digging up some darkness and deep angst… which was difficult but… not bad. I’ve tried to remember that since then, that it’s possible for me not to shy away from things that are there somewhere, but I don’t always succeed. And I’m not sure if writing fanfic really is the best for me; it takes too much time off my “real work”…

And why am I always talking so much?! You’re going to run away from me soon… Anyway, I’m sure that I will not at all only see the bad in you! I already see good in you and I don’t think that what you write because of how your life makes you feel will change that.

[kidarania_nika]

:D I enjoy talking with you, also. I find the internet to be so impersonal that sometimes I can't help but try to reach out!

I don't think it is necessary to repeat exactly what a person already knows about their own work. Maybe to emphasize the spectacular nature of it, but otherwise it doesn't help a person get better. So, instead, I like digging down to the heart of the matter - the thoughts behind the word, the heart behind the thoughts - and say something a little different. (If I'm feeling a little cathartic, that is. Otherwise I just write a normal comment full of OMGs and YAYs and all of that. ^^)

I also feel more comfortable expressing myself in writing. To be honest, I hate talking to people. Interpersonal interaction drives me INSANE. So, typing out my words and reading the voice-inflection-less text gives me that comfortable zone to allow me to sit back and express myself better.

I like ideas. The idea of Nathan/Peter is "forbidden", but I like it more for the idea that despite all of the inherent problems, they still want it. It's the age old tale of "I want someone to want to fight to be with me" that inspired thousands of knight-rescuing-princess stories. So, when I see incestuous romance in a fictional sense, that is what I interpret. The level of dedication put into such an outcome.

I started writing fanfic because it helped me incorporate ideas into other people's fantasies. While originally it was a ruse to get my little sister to write in full sentences/learn a larger vocabulary/care about the quality of what she was reading, it helped me learn a lot about how to write a story with the intention of it being read. That was a big deal for me. Words are personal, and I don't want others to know mine...but somehow it becomes closer to "OK" if I write it with the fictional label as a shield.

I like hearing about your life, how you got places and learned about yourself. Please keep talking about it, and don't let even the thought of my disinterest sway you! I'm always willing to learn more, especially about a friend.

I'm glad to hear you can't tell that I'm just a cranky old coot (lol), reading perverted materials and getting off on my character's pain. ^^ At least in that sense, I am happy to be understood...