Instead of posting 12 times a day (which, really, is my right since I pay for it) I'll just post this...for now lol. I can't help it if things pop into my head that need to be released into the universe!
I'm having an ugly day. You know, those days when you feel...ugly. Well today is that day. I hate feeling this way. It really sucks, yo.
THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!
If you are 30 or older, you will think this is hilarious!!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what, with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning, uphill BOTH ways yada,
yada, yada!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up
ourselves...in the card catalog!!
There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the
beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like call waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, tour boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you
Just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids' and the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your a$$ and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little @$@$%!!!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire.... Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove
forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled!!!!!!!!!
You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980! Oh yea, and a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time she hit the brakes.
Regards,
The over 30 Crowd
I must get this shirt. I'll wear it and maybe Kathy Griffin will spot me in the audience and she and I will become BFFs LOL!
Only problem is I can only wear it once a year! Portugal plays in T-minus 37 minutes. GOOOOOOOOOO TEAM! Speaking of Portuguese things, my cousin is getting married on Saturday and I'm doing a reading in Portuguese. HOLD ME! While I can do it, it'll still be nerve wracking in front of all those people. *wibble*