Blah!!!! and then job stuff
So.. I slept like, 1 hour last night. Its mostly my own fault. I decided to watch The Rite before bed. Yeah.. great idea Amy. Watch the creepy movie about Catholic priests performing exorcisms, when you totally believe in that shit. Yup... good job with that. Of course, I went to bed feeling uneasy, to the point where I found my crucifix necklace to wear.
Well, so I can't sleep, I'm laying on my stomach because I was afraid of a "sleep paralysis" attack (I still call them spiritual attacks myself), which I used to get a lot as a teen. Typically, it is easier for them to occur if you fall asleep on your back. So, I'm laying on my stomach to try to avoid that, its 1:15, and then I feel a very cold breeze on my neck. As soon as that happens, my whole body starts shaking/vibrating from my toes to the tip of my head, and I knew something was there. I didn't feel like I was being held down, I just knew something was there and wouldn't let me move... I could move my hand/fingers and grabbed the crucifix on my necklace and just started mentally praying, cause I couldn't move my mouth (I admit, I said internally, "I don't belong to you. I belong to God and Jesus"). Finally, I was just chanting "Jesus" in my mind and I was slowly gaining the ability to move my lips and talk. This whole time, I still felt like I was convulsing. When I was able to talk, it came out more like "Jebuz" in this very weak/moany voice. And then everything stopped and I was able to say it normally. I still felt weird and ending up saying two counts of the rosary prayers.
Yeah, I was terrified. It was much worse then I had ever had it before. I still couldn't fall asleep and when 3am came around, I was getting really bad vibes again. (3AM - 4AM is not a good hour to be awake and feel weird, since anything that happens in that time frame is usually demonic in nature). I ended up putting the lights on in my room and going out and sitting/petting Josie for the whole hour. Then I went back to bed and got like.. 1 hour of sleep.
People probably think I'm crazy, but I totally believe that even watching things like that movie and thinking about it can open you up to spiritual attacks. You;re already "scared" to a certain level, and dark entities like to feed on that fear. Not to mention that, due to my religious beliefs, I totally believe in such attacks anyway.
Yeah... so... I feel like I totally need to go to church this weekend! I need to get a new St. Michael medal too. (I gave mine away when I thought I didn't need it anymore!).
On a better note, I told my manager that I was looking to get out of Public Accounting. She told me she understood and would be a reference for me. She doesnt want to see me go, but she also doesn't want me to be miserable either. She was actually telling me that she was really debating on not coming back to the firm either after her maternity leave. I feel lighter now. :)
I told her that I was afraid that I didnt have the right skills to switch from tax to plain jane accounting, but she told me that I do have the skills and not to be concerned with all the items company require on their candidate skills list. She said that most companies never find the perfect candidate, but that they list all of those items on there just in case.
Well, so I can't sleep, I'm laying on my stomach because I was afraid of a "sleep paralysis" attack (I still call them spiritual attacks myself), which I used to get a lot as a teen. Typically, it is easier for them to occur if you fall asleep on your back. So, I'm laying on my stomach to try to avoid that, its 1:15, and then I feel a very cold breeze on my neck. As soon as that happens, my whole body starts shaking/vibrating from my toes to the tip of my head, and I knew something was there. I didn't feel like I was being held down, I just knew something was there and wouldn't let me move... I could move my hand/fingers and grabbed the crucifix on my necklace and just started mentally praying, cause I couldn't move my mouth (I admit, I said internally, "I don't belong to you. I belong to God and Jesus"). Finally, I was just chanting "Jesus" in my mind and I was slowly gaining the ability to move my lips and talk. This whole time, I still felt like I was convulsing. When I was able to talk, it came out more like "Jebuz" in this very weak/moany voice. And then everything stopped and I was able to say it normally. I still felt weird and ending up saying two counts of the rosary prayers.
Yeah, I was terrified. It was much worse then I had ever had it before. I still couldn't fall asleep and when 3am came around, I was getting really bad vibes again. (3AM - 4AM is not a good hour to be awake and feel weird, since anything that happens in that time frame is usually demonic in nature). I ended up putting the lights on in my room and going out and sitting/petting Josie for the whole hour. Then I went back to bed and got like.. 1 hour of sleep.
People probably think I'm crazy, but I totally believe that even watching things like that movie and thinking about it can open you up to spiritual attacks. You;re already "scared" to a certain level, and dark entities like to feed on that fear. Not to mention that, due to my religious beliefs, I totally believe in such attacks anyway.
Yeah... so... I feel like I totally need to go to church this weekend! I need to get a new St. Michael medal too. (I gave mine away when I thought I didn't need it anymore!).
On a better note, I told my manager that I was looking to get out of Public Accounting. She told me she understood and would be a reference for me. She doesnt want to see me go, but she also doesn't want me to be miserable either. She was actually telling me that she was really debating on not coming back to the firm either after her maternity leave. I feel lighter now. :)
I told her that I was afraid that I didnt have the right skills to switch from tax to plain jane accounting, but she told me that I do have the skills and not to be concerned with all the items company require on their candidate skills list. She said that most companies never find the perfect candidate, but that they list all of those items on there just in case.