the pain game (incoherent at best)
(that is the subject line of the series of emails that has resulted in this. I therefore make no pretense at this being even close to real fic, and it really is just girlmarauders and I flailing at each other but WHATEVER. I'M SHARING.)
so this is the inevitable consequence of this, which happened on March 6th:
girlmarauders: so, I was writing this on and off while I was away on holiday and I was hoping to try and make it into something coherent and ~storyresembling but it's really not, it's just a jumble of ideas about the pain game and how TAI played it. you may notice I characterise Bilvy as super subby? lol. I wrote a lot of this on my phone or on my laptop without internet, so it doesn't really all fit. but pain game!! :D? :D?
the way I see it, I see the pain game as one of those games you invent with your friends that become increasingly more complex as the years go by, as you add to the rules and change things. so when they first started playing the pain game, it was just one of those things that stupid teenage boys do, hitting each other until they cave to prove who's better. but as time passes, it evolves. They add forfeits and secondary rules and caveats. Bill adds a forfeit that somehow means he spends most games tied to a chair or with his hands behind his back. and sisky always plays so that he gets hit the hardest and the most.
pain game origin story:
the pain game first began, really, when Bill and Mike would get so angry that they'd whale on each other in the name of the "writing process". Really, they'd fight and snipe at each other until the other had no option but to lash out and then they'd fight. They thought the fighting was normal but it looked weird to everyone else (a major contributing reason to why being in their band was so intimidating) because they'd go quiet and just keep hitting each other until they had to stop. Sisky just kind of went with it, seeing it as they way they worked things out and just being his normal laid-back self.
and then it sort of..evolves. like Bilvy adds a forfeit that somehow means he spends most games tied to a chair or with his hands tied behind his back.
or the first time they really realise that Chislett is going to ~work as their guitarist is when he joins in the pain game. and he's so relaxed and chill about it and him and Sisky are the last ones standing, 'cause they just keep hitting each other. Bill makes them stop, because Sisky is getting all slurry and can barely stand up and it freaks him out.
the first rule of pain game is that no one talks about the pain game. at first it was awkward and no one knew what this thing was that they ~wanted and needed so they always ended up fumbling their way into the pain game. at the beginning, the game was really just bill and mike and they'd end up fighting until they just hit each other until someone gave up and they didn't really have a name for it, just this thing they did because somewhere, deep down, they needed it. It's butcher who first gives it a name, because he is familiar with weird dudebro games and, in the grand scheme of things, this is not that weird of a dudebro game. at first, bill's only thought about the new regulation of the pain game is "phew" because adding in Sisky and Butcher means he's not insane. but it really starts to mess with Bill's head, because now the pain game has ~rules and it's REAL, which just makes it weird and confusing and bill doesn't know if it's okay to initiate the pain game or do they all have to be drunk to play the pain game or WHAT.
and so Bill just bottles all his feelings and finally one day Mike just declares it "pain game hour" and Bill immedietely forfeits getting to hit back, so he's just on his knees, getting hit over and over and over again. and all the new rules to the pain game mean that the people playing can dictact how they play, like is Mike is in a hitty mood, he'll invoke some rule so that he's the only one hitting. or when Sisky wants to be looked after, he'll make them hit him till he nearly bleeds and then he'll give in and make them all do aftercare as loser's forfeit.
:D? :D?
amisophe: oh god *________* bilvy. organizing forfeits. of COURSE. bill and mike really have some sort of symbiotic relationship, because they just fall into this so naturally and bill is the one to overthink things and mike has to bring him out <33 also, "he is familiar with weird dudebro games and, in the grand scheme of things, this is not that weird of a dudebro game" is perfect. as is "the first rule of pain game is that no one talks about the pain game" :D :D
and because of that, when Butcher mentioned it on twitter (TO THE ENTIRE INTERNET) after five months of TAI…not particularly seeing each other much, it was ON. You're not supposed to DO THAT. and not only did he flaunt that rule, he initiated someone ELSE into the game. Multiple someone elses, even. so despite the fact that they hadn't even spoken ten words to each other in however long, someone had to break the silence. even just to pick up the phone and start with "what the fuck?"
and then they have a Mike/Bilvy-worthy argument of deliberate miscommunication and antagonism (I am still not sure WHO this person is who calls - possibly even Sisky?) and then finally he explodes, all "I really want to hit you right now" and they realize who they sound like, and they're like "…dude." and start laughing. and then Sisky comes over and punches him as soon as he gets in the door. and then Butcher's like "what kind of a punch was that, come on" and they beat each other up and end up in hysterics, breathing hard and grinning at each other uncontrollably.
and Butcher is told very firmly that from now on, if he is all down and lonely, he has to say something. so when he was all "I MISS EVERYONE" on twitter the other day, they played the pain game :D?
girlmarauders: *______________________*
Butcher broke the rules! Sisky is not happy about that DD: It makes sisky sad that Butcher might be playing the pain game with OTHER PEOPLE. Other people Sisky doesn't know!
that is such a brilliant scene, butcher opening the door and sisky punching him and Butcher being like :DDDDD "What kind of punch is that?" and Sisky just punches him again *______* I can just see them spending a hitting-each-other session just smiling at each other and giggling and SO HAPPY. ugh, only they would have a happy bdsm session. <33
and then sisky tells butcher he can't get sad and he promises to come and play the pain game regularly. and I can totally see Sisky talking to Bilvy about Butcher missing everyone and missing the pain game. and something happens, I don't know yet. Either Bill confesses he and Mike kept playing or he confesses that he too misses playing and then they have a pain game party or something. although I think I'd prefer for Bill to be much more ~well-adjusted now and understands himself more and him and Mike now play the pain game together and they have actually safety precautions and shit. which, I would love that, Bilvy and Mike having an actual grown up up relationship. 'cause now the band is done they don't have to try and kill each other all the time and Mike's not being driven crazy by having Bill around ALL THE TIME and they don't have the pressure of being creative together. So they go out on proper dates and have wine with dinner and then scene after dinner. I am ridiculously fond of the idea of them as grown up kinksters.
and now Butcher misses everyone and wants to play the pain game with everyone and him and Sisky play their ridiculously happy bdsm game and now, Butcher's not ~~tied down~~ to them or anything, but whenever he misses them or is feeling lonely, he has to tell them and they will come over, have some pizza, watch a dumb movie and then they can hit each other.
:DD
amisophe: :DDD dear god, their scenes are so happy and careless and at the same time full of impact, it's glorious. also Bilvy and Mike having an actual grownup relationship! is this possible? SO AMAZING. But they're also keeping it all private and shit so Butcher doesn't know and he just feels like they must have moved on, or something, and he hasn't and he feels sad and lonely and unworthy and this is what happens when he's left alone too long :( but now Sisky knows. and it's awesome because Sisky has an outlet now! it's an excuse to call up Mike and Bill and be like "so I know you guys are in disgusting soppy love now but you wanna punch someone like you mean it? cause you got yourselves some volunteers!" and Bill actually never punches anyone like he means it unless he's really mad (Mike) because SUBBIEST SUB, but that also means he GETS IT when Sisky wants to play with Butcher but he also wants to go under, and he needs someone to be there for Butcher. so they all come over and end up in weird configurations where someone's always hanging half off the sofa and Mike and Bill still won't stop their dopey grins, but now Mike's smirking at Bill while he's twisting Butcher's arms and Sisky's just lying there staring happily. ugh it makes me :D just thinking about it *_____*
and that's where this email thread is right now, but I should inform you that when I tried looking up the tweet that started this, I found this:
so, you know. HOW IS EVERYONE :D? I have one more week of chaos and then BREAK. and I will finally have time to angst about my future and my place in the world and all the opportunities I'm going to miss /o\
so this is the inevitable consequence of this, which happened on March 6th:
girlmarauders: so, I was writing this on and off while I was away on holiday and I was hoping to try and make it into something coherent and ~storyresembling but it's really not, it's just a jumble of ideas about the pain game and how TAI played it. you may notice I characterise Bilvy as super subby? lol. I wrote a lot of this on my phone or on my laptop without internet, so it doesn't really all fit. but pain game!! :D? :D?
the way I see it, I see the pain game as one of those games you invent with your friends that become increasingly more complex as the years go by, as you add to the rules and change things. so when they first started playing the pain game, it was just one of those things that stupid teenage boys do, hitting each other until they cave to prove who's better. but as time passes, it evolves. They add forfeits and secondary rules and caveats. Bill adds a forfeit that somehow means he spends most games tied to a chair or with his hands behind his back. and sisky always plays so that he gets hit the hardest and the most.
pain game origin story:
the pain game first began, really, when Bill and Mike would get so angry that they'd whale on each other in the name of the "writing process". Really, they'd fight and snipe at each other until the other had no option but to lash out and then they'd fight. They thought the fighting was normal but it looked weird to everyone else (a major contributing reason to why being in their band was so intimidating) because they'd go quiet and just keep hitting each other until they had to stop. Sisky just kind of went with it, seeing it as they way they worked things out and just being his normal laid-back self.
and then it sort of..evolves. like Bilvy adds a forfeit that somehow means he spends most games tied to a chair or with his hands tied behind his back.
or the first time they really realise that Chislett is going to ~work as their guitarist is when he joins in the pain game. and he's so relaxed and chill about it and him and Sisky are the last ones standing, 'cause they just keep hitting each other. Bill makes them stop, because Sisky is getting all slurry and can barely stand up and it freaks him out.
the first rule of pain game is that no one talks about the pain game. at first it was awkward and no one knew what this thing was that they ~wanted and needed so they always ended up fumbling their way into the pain game. at the beginning, the game was really just bill and mike and they'd end up fighting until they just hit each other until someone gave up and they didn't really have a name for it, just this thing they did because somewhere, deep down, they needed it. It's butcher who first gives it a name, because he is familiar with weird dudebro games and, in the grand scheme of things, this is not that weird of a dudebro game. at first, bill's only thought about the new regulation of the pain game is "phew" because adding in Sisky and Butcher means he's not insane. but it really starts to mess with Bill's head, because now the pain game has ~rules and it's REAL, which just makes it weird and confusing and bill doesn't know if it's okay to initiate the pain game or do they all have to be drunk to play the pain game or WHAT.
and so Bill just bottles all his feelings and finally one day Mike just declares it "pain game hour" and Bill immedietely forfeits getting to hit back, so he's just on his knees, getting hit over and over and over again. and all the new rules to the pain game mean that the people playing can dictact how they play, like is Mike is in a hitty mood, he'll invoke some rule so that he's the only one hitting. or when Sisky wants to be looked after, he'll make them hit him till he nearly bleeds and then he'll give in and make them all do aftercare as loser's forfeit.
:D? :D?
amisophe: oh god *________* bilvy. organizing forfeits. of COURSE. bill and mike really have some sort of symbiotic relationship, because they just fall into this so naturally and bill is the one to overthink things and mike has to bring him out <33 also, "he is familiar with weird dudebro games and, in the grand scheme of things, this is not that weird of a dudebro game" is perfect. as is "the first rule of pain game is that no one talks about the pain game" :D :D
and because of that, when Butcher mentioned it on twitter (TO THE ENTIRE INTERNET) after five months of TAI…not particularly seeing each other much, it was ON. You're not supposed to DO THAT. and not only did he flaunt that rule, he initiated someone ELSE into the game. Multiple someone elses, even. so despite the fact that they hadn't even spoken ten words to each other in however long, someone had to break the silence. even just to pick up the phone and start with "what the fuck?"
and then they have a Mike/Bilvy-worthy argument of deliberate miscommunication and antagonism (I am still not sure WHO this person is who calls - possibly even Sisky?) and then finally he explodes, all "I really want to hit you right now" and they realize who they sound like, and they're like "…dude." and start laughing. and then Sisky comes over and punches him as soon as he gets in the door. and then Butcher's like "what kind of a punch was that, come on" and they beat each other up and end up in hysterics, breathing hard and grinning at each other uncontrollably.
and Butcher is told very firmly that from now on, if he is all down and lonely, he has to say something. so when he was all "I MISS EVERYONE" on twitter the other day, they played the pain game :D?
girlmarauders: *______________________*
Butcher broke the rules! Sisky is not happy about that DD: It makes sisky sad that Butcher might be playing the pain game with OTHER PEOPLE. Other people Sisky doesn't know!
that is such a brilliant scene, butcher opening the door and sisky punching him and Butcher being like :DDDDD "What kind of punch is that?" and Sisky just punches him again *______* I can just see them spending a hitting-each-other session just smiling at each other and giggling and SO HAPPY. ugh, only they would have a happy bdsm session. <33
and then sisky tells butcher he can't get sad and he promises to come and play the pain game regularly. and I can totally see Sisky talking to Bilvy about Butcher missing everyone and missing the pain game. and something happens, I don't know yet. Either Bill confesses he and Mike kept playing or he confesses that he too misses playing and then they have a pain game party or something. although I think I'd prefer for Bill to be much more ~well-adjusted now and understands himself more and him and Mike now play the pain game together and they have actually safety precautions and shit. which, I would love that, Bilvy and Mike having an actual grown up up relationship. 'cause now the band is done they don't have to try and kill each other all the time and Mike's not being driven crazy by having Bill around ALL THE TIME and they don't have the pressure of being creative together. So they go out on proper dates and have wine with dinner and then scene after dinner. I am ridiculously fond of the idea of them as grown up kinksters.
and now Butcher misses everyone and wants to play the pain game with everyone and him and Sisky play their ridiculously happy bdsm game and now, Butcher's not ~~tied down~~ to them or anything, but whenever he misses them or is feeling lonely, he has to tell them and they will come over, have some pizza, watch a dumb movie and then they can hit each other.
:DD
amisophe: :DDD dear god, their scenes are so happy and careless and at the same time full of impact, it's glorious. also Bilvy and Mike having an actual grownup relationship! is this possible? SO AMAZING. But they're also keeping it all private and shit so Butcher doesn't know and he just feels like they must have moved on, or something, and he hasn't and he feels sad and lonely and unworthy and this is what happens when he's left alone too long :( but now Sisky knows. and it's awesome because Sisky has an outlet now! it's an excuse to call up Mike and Bill and be like "so I know you guys are in disgusting soppy love now but you wanna punch someone like you mean it? cause you got yourselves some volunteers!" and Bill actually never punches anyone like he means it unless he's really mad (Mike) because SUBBIEST SUB, but that also means he GETS IT when Sisky wants to play with Butcher but he also wants to go under, and he needs someone to be there for Butcher. so they all come over and end up in weird configurations where someone's always hanging half off the sofa and Mike and Bill still won't stop their dopey grins, but now Mike's smirking at Bill while he's twisting Butcher's arms and Sisky's just lying there staring happily. ugh it makes me :D just thinking about it *_____*
and that's where this email thread is right now, but I should inform you that when I tried looking up the tweet that started this, I found this:
so, you know. HOW IS EVERYONE :D? I have one more week of chaos and then BREAK. and I will finally have time to angst about my future and my place in the world and all the opportunities I'm going to miss /o\