My feet are calloused. =(
At youth group last night we were singing I Could Sing of Your Love Forever, and 2 lines from the verse kind of struck me --- "and I will open up my heart and let the healer set me free." It struck me because lately I've been feeling weighed down and I don't know why. I think it's cause I don't tell people things. I keep my heart closed. I don't let anyone in. I hardly let God in. It's not that I don't want him to see my heart. I want him to be my best friend that I tell every little thing to. I've always wanted that, but never had it. Why? I think it's because I could never fully grasp the fact that I can talk to the creator of the universe one on one. It's a big thing to grasp and I don't think I've fully grasped it yet. I'm trying to work on it, though, as well as my ADD when I pray. I have all these thoughts and emotions kept in my head that I never let out. I'm kind of a loner in that way, I guess. But I'm going to try to be more open. I don't know why I do it, it's just a habit. And then I realized that I constantly wonder what other people are thinking about me and things that are happening around me and that person. It's kind of like a pointless burden that I put on myself. Sometimes I won't be careless cause I'm too busy caring about what others will think. Well...that would make sense. Yeah. So, I'm working on that, too. When I catch myself thinking like that I have to mentally slap myself and tell myself to stop. It's worked today. I hope I can keep it up. I haven't been feeling free for a while, so I'm trying to let the healer set me free. After having this realization yesterday, today has been going really well. I know it's because of that. God is beginning to open my eyes, cause I've been sleeping for so long.
And that's all I have for now. Goodnight.
And that's all I have for now. Goodnight.