Something is about to burst...
After a few spam posts about the seemly significant (yet really aren't) things in life, it is time for a more serious entry.
The last few weeks had its up and downs, but now things have gotten into the serious end. I've always believed in giving people space to do things, not to rush them as long as there is no need to, and this attitude has always worked well for me. However, in the last few weeks, I've needed things (whether it'd be documents or diagrams or screenshots) for work, and have continuous been ignored by the people that should do them. More specifically, the people who have higher positions than me tend to ignore my request for things to be handed in on time.
They would give me things when they are ready, not meeting any of my deadlines...therefore, not allowing me to meet mine. I have 3 major conferences coming up, all booked for and mostly paid for. Yet, as the one in charge of marketing for the company, I haven't got a single, completed product brochure to show for it. The reason: the people who are suppose to pass things down to me, the technical people stalled for time...months and months of time. To the stage where I need to be at two exhibitions in two weeks time and have only got furniture, two pull-up banners and posters to show for it.
Now, perhaps for a lot of people this is nothing. After all, it isn't my fault that they don't give me stuff even when chased and hassled numerous times. Yet, I (for some crap reason) was born with a sense of responsibility to complete things within my field of responsibility. I hate it when I sit at my desk and do nothing but post on forums and chat with my friends on msn. I hate it when I can do things better but cannot improve it because of uncontrollable factors induced by others (e.g running out of time). I hate it when I start to think bad of my co-workers as lazy bums that walk around the office and chat, or sit at home watching sports games while I'm a nervous wreck waiting for their work.
I know my job isn't everything to me...and...at the end of the day, I don't think I'll lose my job over this - it'll just make me look bad. But I can't help but feel it is my fault in someway and that I should indeed be punished for everything being unprepared. Also, that this incident is going to be with me and used against me for the entire time that I stay at this firm, because lets face it, won't you be a laughing stock if you go to an exhibition with nothing?
I want to be good at my job and have tried hard so that everyone is happy with my work, but now...all that could be gone. I just don't...I just...I feel something in me is about to burst and I can't keep this face smiling any longer. If something goes wrong now, I just feel as if I'd burst out crying.
There are no such thing as a one-person team...but sometimes, I really wish there is. It's not so much that I hate team work as I am afraid of it. I've always been stuck with lazy teams at uni when I was doing group projects. I've always had to act as the "bad" person and force people to work. They all hate me. But I just found it as a necessary evil, because it was a short term thing (only a semester) and as long as I got the grades, who cares. But...this is different. This is work. I'll still have to face these people tomorrow, and the day after that.
Fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong...or else...I don't know what I would do...
The only thing to have brightened up my day just a little bit was
nekomiao's post. Thanks...you don't know what you meant to me to read it...
The last few weeks had its up and downs, but now things have gotten into the serious end. I've always believed in giving people space to do things, not to rush them as long as there is no need to, and this attitude has always worked well for me. However, in the last few weeks, I've needed things (whether it'd be documents or diagrams or screenshots) for work, and have continuous been ignored by the people that should do them. More specifically, the people who have higher positions than me tend to ignore my request for things to be handed in on time.
They would give me things when they are ready, not meeting any of my deadlines...therefore, not allowing me to meet mine. I have 3 major conferences coming up, all booked for and mostly paid for. Yet, as the one in charge of marketing for the company, I haven't got a single, completed product brochure to show for it. The reason: the people who are suppose to pass things down to me, the technical people stalled for time...months and months of time. To the stage where I need to be at two exhibitions in two weeks time and have only got furniture, two pull-up banners and posters to show for it.
Now, perhaps for a lot of people this is nothing. After all, it isn't my fault that they don't give me stuff even when chased and hassled numerous times. Yet, I (for some crap reason) was born with a sense of responsibility to complete things within my field of responsibility. I hate it when I sit at my desk and do nothing but post on forums and chat with my friends on msn. I hate it when I can do things better but cannot improve it because of uncontrollable factors induced by others (e.g running out of time). I hate it when I start to think bad of my co-workers as lazy bums that walk around the office and chat, or sit at home watching sports games while I'm a nervous wreck waiting for their work.
I know my job isn't everything to me...and...at the end of the day, I don't think I'll lose my job over this - it'll just make me look bad. But I can't help but feel it is my fault in someway and that I should indeed be punished for everything being unprepared. Also, that this incident is going to be with me and used against me for the entire time that I stay at this firm, because lets face it, won't you be a laughing stock if you go to an exhibition with nothing?
I want to be good at my job and have tried hard so that everyone is happy with my work, but now...all that could be gone. I just don't...I just...I feel something in me is about to burst and I can't keep this face smiling any longer. If something goes wrong now, I just feel as if I'd burst out crying.
There are no such thing as a one-person team...but sometimes, I really wish there is. It's not so much that I hate team work as I am afraid of it. I've always been stuck with lazy teams at uni when I was doing group projects. I've always had to act as the "bad" person and force people to work. They all hate me. But I just found it as a necessary evil, because it was a short term thing (only a semester) and as long as I got the grades, who cares. But...this is different. This is work. I'll still have to face these people tomorrow, and the day after that.
Fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong...or else...I don't know what I would do...
The only thing to have brightened up my day just a little bit was
nekomiao's post. Thanks...you don't know what you meant to me to read it...