Not About the Xmas Party
Instead about the Xmas Party I've prepared and looked forward to for weeks, this entry contains nothing happy. Not even remotely.
Right before I got to the party, I was told by a cousin in Taiwan that my grandma had passed away...a stupid car accident. People not looking at where they are going.
I didn't believe it. Call home and told my mom to find out the truth...not some half baked sms.
Later last night, I knew for sure.
I got way drunker than I should have, cried my guts out and spend the night on a colleague's couch falling in and out of consciouness. I'm sure my grandma wouldn't have wanted to see anyone sad...but I can't help it. It just hurt so much. I can't say I was the closest one with my grandma, since I spend most of my life overseas. But the time we had spend together was fun-filled and loving. She's tell me about when I was little, and how as the first grandchild, she ran around accommodating me...fun stuff like that. I was a pain in the ass but she would always put up with me. No ifs or buts.
Words can't really describe how much I miss her already. Goodness knows why I didn't call her sooner...even just to chat. Although...she probably wouldn't understand me very much...my Taiwanese is crap. She learned to understand Mandarin so she can understand us...me...more.
To my grandmother...a great woman that my mother should consider becoming:
Grandma and Grandpa when they were here April this year.
This pic is so special. It looks like the gates of a place good... She looks so beautiful there.
Another one of her ^.^ A little dark though...
Grandpa smiles so happily beside Grandma and mom. He sure isn't smiling today...can't believe he blames himself for her death...
Wish I could go back and hug Grandpa...