I suppose
I'd like to think that Maria and I made a mends but we haven't really. Nothing was solved. Nobody's mind was put at ease. I suppose the problem really wasn't the fact that she wouldn't go to the library with me even though I would've done it for her. I suppose it was her March 10th lj. She can tell me it wasn't directed at me and even if it wasn't, the thought that she thinks Mr. Kulick is right about how friends in high school are just aquaintances hurt so bad. I don't like to blame my mental state on a person in particular but there has to be some reason my mind hasn't been stable since James decided to all of a sudden hate me. I suppose if he can act like he's maddly in love with me for 4 months and then end it without REALLY telling me why, why can't my best friend leave me dissapointed too. Heck even my father's a culprit. I remember when he used to tell me how pretty I was and that I had nice skin and that I was talented. Now all he says is "How come your wearing so much eye shadow?" or "Why did you paint a DeLorean for a nursing home?" or "You look like your going to a nightclub not school." I suppose since every person since Jim has let me down it's Maria's place to do it too. I suppose I should do it too. I read your March 20th lj Maria. I know I'm still your best friend and I know your mine but I hate to say this because of everything that happened this year with Jim and Greg and not thi that will stay in the back of mind forever. I suppose there's nothing either of us can do except mend with time.