Unclean! Unclean!
Okay...so this is my fault for skimming almost the whole thing. But...omg.
So...the author is a teenager (as if you couldn't guess this from reading the summary...)
Jack kisses Sam.
Sam freaks out--not because it's against regulations, but because after that one kiss she can't trust herself around Jack (though, of course, this is a Huge Mystery, not to be revealed till much later).
Sam resigns, packs up her stuff, has a screaming fit at Jack telling him she hates him, and leaves on a jet plane...don't know when she'll be back again...
Jack mopes, mourns, misses her, doesn't know what to do or where she is. Then, about a year later, Daniel and his Glowy Self shows up to tell Jack that Sam is in great danger and that he's afraid she's going to commit suicide and Jack MUST find out where she is and help...oh, he's got to go and be with Sam now, but look her up, find her, do something since, of course, his Glowiness can't interfere (such an INTERESTING definition he has fo that).
Jack grills Hammond, finds out that Sam went to England to train SG teams after "Disclosure". Okay. Whatever.
Jack, Teal'c, and Jonas go after her only to find her posing as "Lt. Sam O'Neill" and being beaten up by the others in the batallion (that may not be the right word, but who cares...). It wasn't clear from the parts I skimmed why she wasn't being the SG team instructor, but, again...who cares?
They rescue her from the Bad Soldier Guys (who are made to do many "press-ups" by a seething Jack--the teenage author is also English). They take her to shower so she'll feel better, and Daniel talks to Jack, updating him on how bad Sam's going to look--she's bruised all over, too thin since she hasn't been eating, and not only has she been being harrassed, but the guys set her hair on fire, and the General of the base has tried to rape her. O-kay.
Jack goes in to the shower, finds her waaaaay thin because she's been starving herself, and all bruised and with lots of cuts because she's been cutting her arms up and nearly trying to commit suicide. She dyed what was left of her hair brown so they'd stop making blond comments, and she's been wearing brown contacts (but that's part of her "disguise"). She thinks she's ugly, she thinks he'll think she's stupid, she's a total mess and completely dependent and she's been frozen from terror and sleeping with her door locked even though they put nasty "here's what we'll do to you next" notes under the door--all of which she's been saving.
Jack and Teal'c (with a bit of help from Jonas) do a (rather delightful) job of scaring the Bad General shitless and then they take her off to a hotel until they can head home. Jack wants to know why, she confesses that she couldn't trust herself, yadda, yadda, and that she put up with the mistreatment because she was so used to it because Jonas (no, Jack, don't leap to your feet to beat up poor Mr. Quinn on her behalf, it was Hanson, yeah...) used to hit her and throw away her clothes and yadda yadda until Jacob came to visit and found out what was happening and rescued her. Even so, she was so screwed up that it took her from age 24 to age 27 to get herself together after that. *heavysigh*
She's having nightmares, but they're all better when he's holding her. They have sex. He reassures her that when they get home, she can live with him. She's relieved, because she doesn't have a place to go and she never wants anything to do with the Air Force or the SGC again. They go home, Janet is worried about her (duh), but she is already much better and gaining weight and with the love and support of Himself, she gets all better but, since she doesn't want to go back to work in the mountain, she becomse... a kindergarten teacher.
All together now: Awwwww... *puke*
And I ask again, "Exactly what show is she watching? Because I certainly have never seen it!"
So...the author is a teenager (as if you couldn't guess this from reading the summary...)
Jack kisses Sam.
Sam freaks out--not because it's against regulations, but because after that one kiss she can't trust herself around Jack (though, of course, this is a Huge Mystery, not to be revealed till much later).
Sam resigns, packs up her stuff, has a screaming fit at Jack telling him she hates him, and leaves on a jet plane...don't know when she'll be back again...
Jack mopes, mourns, misses her, doesn't know what to do or where she is. Then, about a year later, Daniel and his Glowy Self shows up to tell Jack that Sam is in great danger and that he's afraid she's going to commit suicide and Jack MUST find out where she is and help...oh, he's got to go and be with Sam now, but look her up, find her, do something since, of course, his Glowiness can't interfere (such an INTERESTING definition he has fo that).
Jack grills Hammond, finds out that Sam went to England to train SG teams after "Disclosure". Okay. Whatever.
Jack, Teal'c, and Jonas go after her only to find her posing as "Lt. Sam O'Neill" and being beaten up by the others in the batallion (that may not be the right word, but who cares...). It wasn't clear from the parts I skimmed why she wasn't being the SG team instructor, but, again...who cares?
They rescue her from the Bad Soldier Guys (who are made to do many "press-ups" by a seething Jack--the teenage author is also English). They take her to shower so she'll feel better, and Daniel talks to Jack, updating him on how bad Sam's going to look--she's bruised all over, too thin since she hasn't been eating, and not only has she been being harrassed, but the guys set her hair on fire, and the General of the base has tried to rape her. O-kay.
Jack goes in to the shower, finds her waaaaay thin because she's been starving herself, and all bruised and with lots of cuts because she's been cutting her arms up and nearly trying to commit suicide. She dyed what was left of her hair brown so they'd stop making blond comments, and she's been wearing brown contacts (but that's part of her "disguise"). She thinks she's ugly, she thinks he'll think she's stupid, she's a total mess and completely dependent and she's been frozen from terror and sleeping with her door locked even though they put nasty "here's what we'll do to you next" notes under the door--all of which she's been saving.
Jack and Teal'c (with a bit of help from Jonas) do a (rather delightful) job of scaring the Bad General shitless and then they take her off to a hotel until they can head home. Jack wants to know why, she confesses that she couldn't trust herself, yadda, yadda, and that she put up with the mistreatment because she was so used to it because Jonas (no, Jack, don't leap to your feet to beat up poor Mr. Quinn on her behalf, it was Hanson, yeah...) used to hit her and throw away her clothes and yadda yadda until Jacob came to visit and found out what was happening and rescued her. Even so, she was so screwed up that it took her from age 24 to age 27 to get herself together after that. *heavysigh*
She's having nightmares, but they're all better when he's holding her. They have sex. He reassures her that when they get home, she can live with him. She's relieved, because she doesn't have a place to go and she never wants anything to do with the Air Force or the SGC again. They go home, Janet is worried about her (duh), but she is already much better and gaining weight and with the love and support of Himself, she gets all better but, since she doesn't want to go back to work in the mountain, she becomse... a kindergarten teacher.
All together now: Awwwww... *puke*
And I ask again, "Exactly what show is she watching? Because I certainly have never seen it!"