(DBSK) where have the times gone
Pairings: OT5, yoomin
Rating: T
Warnings: emoshinki, all the feels.
Genre: angst
A/N: Dedicated to Lovescone. Without her I wouldn't have even bothered to try as hard as I did to finish this and post it. Thanks for all the encouragement and suggestions! ilu.
Summary: junsu forgets sometimes
There's a worn leather book that Yunho has never, ever let anyone see. It's a special notebook meant for the events of few. The pages are yellowed with age, and dog eared, filled to the brim with notes. He always manages to make room for more.
Yunho finds a tiny corner next to an old list of musical rehearsal dates to fill in the upcoming FC Men’s match. He stencils in a chart for drama airdates under press release times. He has a movie premiere pass he can’t use wedged in between pages as a bookmark. Yunho’s unable to talk about them or physically be there to support them, but he makes his own mark when it comes time to remember an occasion.
_____________
Junsu forget sometimes.
His general dislike of shopping and lack of patience for it isn't exaggerated. Every year, without fail, birthdays roll around before he's fully prepared and he has to find time to buy gifts. Unlike shopping for himself, Junsu loves buying things for his members. It's easier and he doesn't really have to think about it.
Changmin is a perpetual boy scout, practically toting around a survival kit wherever he goes. His bags always leave red marks on his shoulder blades that he often ignores. Junsu finds a beige backpack with wide straps, the saleswoman tells him the stitch is reinforced to distribute the weight more evenly. It joins the supple leather coat for Yunho. He's been wearing his Armani one too often and Junsu worries that it will get damaged.
Sometimes he forgets that it's only two and not four anymore. He can never bear to return what he's brought, so he takes them and adds them to the pile hidden away in a guest room. They join other boxes of various shapes and sizes, delicately wrapped and set aside. Junsu's running out of room.
_____________
Despite all the change in Changmin’s life, some habits remain the same. When he can spare it, Changmin takes the time to indulge himself at midnight. Although it may only be just a muffin at the airport or a bag of chips in a suite, he takes the time to contemplate and reflect. It has nothing to do with trying to recapture the comfort of a deep laugh, the warmth of ramen in his belly and a bony shoulder to lean on, legs tangled together. If he occasionally feels an ache at the thought, he rationalizes it away as hunger.
_____________
Jaejoong's barely set his bag down and greeted Jiji before he makes a beeline for the kitchen. A hard day is best settled by a full stomach and his hands are practically itching with the urge to cook. Time flies when Jaejoong is in front of a stove and before he knows it, he has several banchan (kong na mul, juipo, japchae), duk guk and kimchi jjigae ready to serve. He takes a moment to step back and bask in the warmth of the leftover heat.
There's almost no better comfort than a home cooked meal, but Jaejoong's heart sinks when he realizes the spread he's made and closes his eyes. He thinks of meals long past filled with clamoring from mismatched eyes and a wide smile. A pout under a beauty mark and arms around his waist. He slowly exhales and turns on the oven to keep the food warm until he can call someone to join him. He's made too much again.
_____________
Yoochun handles the distance and the consequences of the lawsuit the best. In most aspects, it reminds him of his parents divorce. Separation from loved ones, anger and resentment. The hardship of being ripped from or leaving what seems like a stable, safe position but is really killing you inside slowly. He has days though, days where he just wants to sit alone and rage at the world. Mourn the loss of another family, of two brothers.
He reminisces about songs written half drunk with Yunho, and strong hands rubbing the aches out of his arms when he was unwell. Yoochun remembers watching a boy become a man, shy as ever but always equipped with a sharp word and shrewd eyes.
I finished this the day before it was announced that the lawsuits had been withdrawn. This fic was kind of a healing process and that combined with the news the next day put this on the emotional backburner for a while. I kept thinking, "No matter what, there is always going to be something you miss. You can't spend nearly a decade joined at the hip and not care anymore". I know this from personal experience with relationships that didn't last as long as DBSK before the split. I consider this story rather rough but I like it that way since my feelings about DBSK are rather jagged, as I believe they probably are for the men actually apart of the whole thing.
I am always open to constructive criticism, especially since I'm searching for a new beta. Hopefully y'all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Rating: T
Warnings: emoshinki, all the feels.
Genre: angst
A/N: Dedicated to Lovescone. Without her I wouldn't have even bothered to try as hard as I did to finish this and post it. Thanks for all the encouragement and suggestions! ilu.
Summary: junsu forgets sometimes
There's a worn leather book that Yunho has never, ever let anyone see. It's a special notebook meant for the events of few. The pages are yellowed with age, and dog eared, filled to the brim with notes. He always manages to make room for more.
Yunho finds a tiny corner next to an old list of musical rehearsal dates to fill in the upcoming FC Men’s match. He stencils in a chart for drama airdates under press release times. He has a movie premiere pass he can’t use wedged in between pages as a bookmark. Yunho’s unable to talk about them or physically be there to support them, but he makes his own mark when it comes time to remember an occasion.
_____________
Junsu forget sometimes.
His general dislike of shopping and lack of patience for it isn't exaggerated. Every year, without fail, birthdays roll around before he's fully prepared and he has to find time to buy gifts. Unlike shopping for himself, Junsu loves buying things for his members. It's easier and he doesn't really have to think about it.
Changmin is a perpetual boy scout, practically toting around a survival kit wherever he goes. His bags always leave red marks on his shoulder blades that he often ignores. Junsu finds a beige backpack with wide straps, the saleswoman tells him the stitch is reinforced to distribute the weight more evenly. It joins the supple leather coat for Yunho. He's been wearing his Armani one too often and Junsu worries that it will get damaged.
Sometimes he forgets that it's only two and not four anymore. He can never bear to return what he's brought, so he takes them and adds them to the pile hidden away in a guest room. They join other boxes of various shapes and sizes, delicately wrapped and set aside. Junsu's running out of room.
_____________
Despite all the change in Changmin’s life, some habits remain the same. When he can spare it, Changmin takes the time to indulge himself at midnight. Although it may only be just a muffin at the airport or a bag of chips in a suite, he takes the time to contemplate and reflect. It has nothing to do with trying to recapture the comfort of a deep laugh, the warmth of ramen in his belly and a bony shoulder to lean on, legs tangled together. If he occasionally feels an ache at the thought, he rationalizes it away as hunger.
_____________
Jaejoong's barely set his bag down and greeted Jiji before he makes a beeline for the kitchen. A hard day is best settled by a full stomach and his hands are practically itching with the urge to cook. Time flies when Jaejoong is in front of a stove and before he knows it, he has several banchan (kong na mul, juipo, japchae), duk guk and kimchi jjigae ready to serve. He takes a moment to step back and bask in the warmth of the leftover heat.
There's almost no better comfort than a home cooked meal, but Jaejoong's heart sinks when he realizes the spread he's made and closes his eyes. He thinks of meals long past filled with clamoring from mismatched eyes and a wide smile. A pout under a beauty mark and arms around his waist. He slowly exhales and turns on the oven to keep the food warm until he can call someone to join him. He's made too much again.
_____________
Yoochun handles the distance and the consequences of the lawsuit the best. In most aspects, it reminds him of his parents divorce. Separation from loved ones, anger and resentment. The hardship of being ripped from or leaving what seems like a stable, safe position but is really killing you inside slowly. He has days though, days where he just wants to sit alone and rage at the world. Mourn the loss of another family, of two brothers.
He reminisces about songs written half drunk with Yunho, and strong hands rubbing the aches out of his arms when he was unwell. Yoochun remembers watching a boy become a man, shy as ever but always equipped with a sharp word and shrewd eyes.
I finished this the day before it was announced that the lawsuits had been withdrawn. This fic was kind of a healing process and that combined with the news the next day put this on the emotional backburner for a while. I kept thinking, "No matter what, there is always going to be something you miss. You can't spend nearly a decade joined at the hip and not care anymore". I know this from personal experience with relationships that didn't last as long as DBSK before the split. I consider this story rather rough but I like it that way since my feelings about DBSK are rather jagged, as I believe they probably are for the men actually apart of the whole thing.
I am always open to constructive criticism, especially since I'm searching for a new beta. Hopefully y'all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.