A story about Lairns
I met Liarns (carbootsale) in prison. We were both there for rather insignificant things, but we'd each done a few too many insignificant things and were each serving a couple of years this time around. She wasn't one to take it though, being in prison is rough on a girl like her. So she came up with what I thought, at first, was a rediculous sceme to get out. It was just plain crazy, but it was somewhat interesting to listen to her plan it all out when we were out in the yard for our daily excercise.
She came up one day, months after she started plotting, and told me that she was going through with it, that she had convinced a family member to help her out, and that the plan would go into motion the very next day. She said that I was welcome to come along with it, as she figured that she could use a little assistance. I was still certain that it would not work, but I didn't have much to lose. I hated prison too, you see, most everyone does, and any opportunity, no matter how crazy, that could get one out was to be embraced, at least a little bit. We shook on it, no matter how it went, we'd be in it together.
The next day, one of Liarns' cousins came to visit her. He was wearing baggy pants. He went through the metal detectors just fine, and met her in the visiting room of the prison. He sat down very close to her, and the transfer began.
As they sat, he told her the details of how he had fulfilled his end of the plan. He had flown to Austrailia a few weeks before, and had few problems acquiring what he sought. He stated that on the flight there, he anticipated that it would be difficult to come by, but after going to a few exotic pet stores and asking a few questions, making a few phone calls, he was able to find what he wanted. It was black market, of course, so they didn't ask many questions. He admitted that it had cost quite a bit to get so many, but that he knew she would pay him back for it. Getting them out of Austrailia was even less of a problem than the purchase had been. He simply packed them up and checked them at the airport with his luggage, hoping that they would survive, but not daring to take them in his carry on.
As they spoke, he would reach down to scratch his leg and remove a small bundle, which were tied onto small loops on the insides of his pant legs. Lairns would then recieve a bundle from him, and tie it to the loops sewn into the insides of her own pant legs.
Within the hour, the process was complete, and Lairns said farewell to her cousin. Then came the riskiest part of the venture. Prisoners were randomly strip seached upon conclusion of visits, we could do nothing but hope that this would not happen, and that if it did, that the guards would concentrate on her person, not her clothing. Luck was with her that day, they didn't stop her. She came directly to the yard where I was waiting for her.
We sat at a picnic table and pretended to be in a serious conversation. Whenever a guard came near, our conversation revolved around a Stephen King book we had both read. When the guards were far away, we wondered if this would really work. We had about an hour before we could move on to the next part of our plan, and that time passed slower than molasses in December.
After forty five minutes, Lairns' eyes got wide, and she said that it was time to act. It was a little sooner than we had anticipated, but we couldn't risk waiting any longer as it could cause the death of us both. Most certainly Lairns would perish, and I was seriously at risk just by being so close. She removed her pants, and held them at an arms length. A guard quickly approached, and Lairns ordered him to stop.
She removed one of the bundles and waved it at him. The guard stopped, puzzled, and asked what it was.
"In this sack, I have an Austrailian Tiger Snake. They are arguably the most poisonous snakes in the world. This one is very young, and very small, but it will still kill you," she revealed.
The guard reached for his radio. Lairns untied the sack and threw it at him. The snake, though still groggy from being sedated, bit him the instant it hit his arm. The guard screamed and fell to the ground.
Another guard came running over, and Lairns grabbed her. She had another sack in her hand already, and held it close to the guards face. "Come with us now," she said, and the guard obeyed.
We made it through the locks, by threating to kill our hostage and by releasing snakes. Remarkably, most of the snakes were in very good shape, despite all they had been through. One of the lead guards at the prison was a bit of a snake fancier, and she confirmed that the snakes were very dangerous. After they realized just how armed we were, they essentially let us go. I'm sure the theory was that they would catch us later when the situation was not so dangerous, which was one of the things we had been counting on.
When we got outside of the prison, but were still within the walls, we released all but one of the remaining snakes. We knew that officials would be spending the next few days searching for all of them, making certain to remove all of them. It was a huge distraction, and we hoped that they would be more worried about the snakes than about us. They had no idea how many snakes we had, so Lairns figured that for our own saftey we ought to release all of them. I said we should keep one to make certain we made it out of the gates, and she agreed.
That last snake got us out the gate with ease. Just down the street, Lairns' cousin was waiting in a car he had rented with the ID in a wallet he had lifted from a tourist. We let that guard, our hostage, go about a block before we got to the car, tied her to a tree real quick and blindfolded her, then proceeded to the car. He drove us five miles, where we switched to another car, this one very recently stolen. He rode along with us for several miles then we dropped him in a nearby town. I drove the next few miles to our next stopping point, where two cars were awaiting us. These were also stolen cars, but had been cleaned up and made to seem legit. I headed east, Lairn headed west.
We got away clean. The story was all over the news for weeks, but it quickly became apparent that Lairn's crazy plan had been crazy enough to really work. I got out of the country about a year after we broke out, and my life is essentially normal now. As for Lairns, about all I really know is that she hasn't been caught, but I suppose that in and of itself means that she's doing pretty well.
She came up one day, months after she started plotting, and told me that she was going through with it, that she had convinced a family member to help her out, and that the plan would go into motion the very next day. She said that I was welcome to come along with it, as she figured that she could use a little assistance. I was still certain that it would not work, but I didn't have much to lose. I hated prison too, you see, most everyone does, and any opportunity, no matter how crazy, that could get one out was to be embraced, at least a little bit. We shook on it, no matter how it went, we'd be in it together.
The next day, one of Liarns' cousins came to visit her. He was wearing baggy pants. He went through the metal detectors just fine, and met her in the visiting room of the prison. He sat down very close to her, and the transfer began.
As they sat, he told her the details of how he had fulfilled his end of the plan. He had flown to Austrailia a few weeks before, and had few problems acquiring what he sought. He stated that on the flight there, he anticipated that it would be difficult to come by, but after going to a few exotic pet stores and asking a few questions, making a few phone calls, he was able to find what he wanted. It was black market, of course, so they didn't ask many questions. He admitted that it had cost quite a bit to get so many, but that he knew she would pay him back for it. Getting them out of Austrailia was even less of a problem than the purchase had been. He simply packed them up and checked them at the airport with his luggage, hoping that they would survive, but not daring to take them in his carry on.
As they spoke, he would reach down to scratch his leg and remove a small bundle, which were tied onto small loops on the insides of his pant legs. Lairns would then recieve a bundle from him, and tie it to the loops sewn into the insides of her own pant legs.
Within the hour, the process was complete, and Lairns said farewell to her cousin. Then came the riskiest part of the venture. Prisoners were randomly strip seached upon conclusion of visits, we could do nothing but hope that this would not happen, and that if it did, that the guards would concentrate on her person, not her clothing. Luck was with her that day, they didn't stop her. She came directly to the yard where I was waiting for her.
We sat at a picnic table and pretended to be in a serious conversation. Whenever a guard came near, our conversation revolved around a Stephen King book we had both read. When the guards were far away, we wondered if this would really work. We had about an hour before we could move on to the next part of our plan, and that time passed slower than molasses in December.
After forty five minutes, Lairns' eyes got wide, and she said that it was time to act. It was a little sooner than we had anticipated, but we couldn't risk waiting any longer as it could cause the death of us both. Most certainly Lairns would perish, and I was seriously at risk just by being so close. She removed her pants, and held them at an arms length. A guard quickly approached, and Lairns ordered him to stop.
She removed one of the bundles and waved it at him. The guard stopped, puzzled, and asked what it was.
"In this sack, I have an Austrailian Tiger Snake. They are arguably the most poisonous snakes in the world. This one is very young, and very small, but it will still kill you," she revealed.
The guard reached for his radio. Lairns untied the sack and threw it at him. The snake, though still groggy from being sedated, bit him the instant it hit his arm. The guard screamed and fell to the ground.
Another guard came running over, and Lairns grabbed her. She had another sack in her hand already, and held it close to the guards face. "Come with us now," she said, and the guard obeyed.
We made it through the locks, by threating to kill our hostage and by releasing snakes. Remarkably, most of the snakes were in very good shape, despite all they had been through. One of the lead guards at the prison was a bit of a snake fancier, and she confirmed that the snakes were very dangerous. After they realized just how armed we were, they essentially let us go. I'm sure the theory was that they would catch us later when the situation was not so dangerous, which was one of the things we had been counting on.
When we got outside of the prison, but were still within the walls, we released all but one of the remaining snakes. We knew that officials would be spending the next few days searching for all of them, making certain to remove all of them. It was a huge distraction, and we hoped that they would be more worried about the snakes than about us. They had no idea how many snakes we had, so Lairns figured that for our own saftey we ought to release all of them. I said we should keep one to make certain we made it out of the gates, and she agreed.
That last snake got us out the gate with ease. Just down the street, Lairns' cousin was waiting in a car he had rented with the ID in a wallet he had lifted from a tourist. We let that guard, our hostage, go about a block before we got to the car, tied her to a tree real quick and blindfolded her, then proceeded to the car. He drove us five miles, where we switched to another car, this one very recently stolen. He rode along with us for several miles then we dropped him in a nearby town. I drove the next few miles to our next stopping point, where two cars were awaiting us. These were also stolen cars, but had been cleaned up and made to seem legit. I headed east, Lairn headed west.
We got away clean. The story was all over the news for weeks, but it quickly became apparent that Lairn's crazy plan had been crazy enough to really work. I got out of the country about a year after we broke out, and my life is essentially normal now. As for Lairns, about all I really know is that she hasn't been caught, but I suppose that in and of itself means that she's doing pretty well.