you know, as of late (and with the help of the afore mentioned chestnuts), my conscience has been kicking in and i havent been able to kill any spiders (with exception to wolf spiders, naturally). i've taken to letting them outside. fear. fear. fear. interesting. let's see. i think... the best way to beat fear is to think about something other than what you are afraid of. take spiders, big ones. i see one, i cannot move, i dont WANT to move, lest it charges at me and i die. so i freeze, horrified and unsure of what shoes to stomp on it with, in case in lunges at my exposed ankle... or if i should vaccuum it up, but then what if it runs... soo many things to be afraid of! i have to give myself numerous peptalks before the act is finally completed. but then, one day last week i came home late from work and there infront of me was a huge wolf spider... so i just shmoshed it and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. it was simple. i was tired and this spider got in the way of me going to sleep. so i eliminated to problem (spider). hmm, maybe? like, shower situation: this spider is preventing me from having a shower and i must have a shower... so take out the spider. maybe it must be about something bigger than the spider, about some greater cause or good. if it were merely about the spider, then... we'd be stuck! so it must always be about something bigger... ? hmmmm. now i'm going to try to think of a really big fear to test this on.
fear.
fear.
fear.
interesting.
let's see.
i think... the best way to beat fear is to think about something other than what you are afraid of. take spiders, big ones. i see one, i cannot move, i dont WANT to move, lest it charges at me and i die. so i freeze, horrified and unsure of what shoes to stomp on it with, in case in lunges at my exposed ankle... or if i should vaccuum it up, but then what if it runs... soo many things to be afraid of! i have to give myself numerous peptalks before the act is finally completed. but then, one day last week i came home late from work and there infront of me was a huge wolf spider... so i just shmoshed it and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. it was simple. i was tired and this spider got in the way of me going to sleep. so i eliminated to problem (spider). hmm, maybe? like, shower situation: this spider is preventing me from having a shower and i must have a shower... so take out the spider.
maybe it must be about something bigger than the spider, about some greater cause or good. if it were merely about the spider, then... we'd be stuck! so it must always be about something bigger... ?
hmmmm. now i'm going to try to think of a really big fear to test this on.
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either I will or jeff will, we'll have to see who gets around to it first!
mary
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