Fic for simourva (1/2)
Fic for simourva part 1/2
Title:Seishun Amor
Pairing:Shuji /Akira, Shuji/Natsu, Nobuta/OC
Word count: 11 400~
Rating:PG
Genre/Warnings:romance, NwP /Bandage crossover
Notes: Joo! I’m happy to write for you! A lot of hearts to sweet and lovely mod for patience! My eternal love to my betas and friends for handholding!
Summary: Shuji and Akira would always be together. In the future, they would make each other happy and sooner or later they will both realize it.
~Nobuta~
I didn't find my friends; the good Lord gave them to me.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
A freshly baked pie filled the cozy, bright room with a delicious aroma. The table was laid out for three: the napkins folded artfully beside the plates, the chopsticks polished and the water glasses gleaming. Little plates loaded with snacks a bountiful on the table. On the kitchen table, there were other dishes waiting to be placed on the table. It was obvious at first glance that the food were prepared with love and lots of effort, appetizing edible flowers made from butter and vegetables, carrots that look like a rabbit and cucumbers like fingers. Not to mention the new lacy tablecloth bought just for the occasion and, the little pillows fluffed and arranged on the couch. The windows were kept open to let the fresh air in, in anticipation of the guests’ arrival.
All the preparations made was a dead giveaway that whatever the occasion was, it was very special and very important.
Near the huge window, a young woman looked into the outside world fidgeting, a clear sign that she was nervous. Her black hair framing her gentle features, her white silk shirt and black skirt looked a bit too formal for the dinner she prepared. The sun which a few hours ago shone brightly was now slowly hiding behind the horizon, coloring the sky in pastel tones. A soft smile played on her lips as she remembered beautiful memories. Thoughts of which gave her a warm feeling inside.
She was holding an old picture. A picture of three teenagers, two boys with wide, goofy smiles flashing the peace sign and a girl whose black hair covered her face but you can still clearly see that her lips were curved in a poor imitation of a smile. She caressed the picture with a finger, laughing at the memories it evoked. She threw her watch a glance and tried to calm her nerves. It was almost time.
She sighed heavily, putting the frame down on the table. She was glad that she finished her shooting early today and therefore had time to prepare dinner. Another quick glance to her watch, it was almost time. There was no reason to be so nervous, she tried to reassure herself. But she felt guilty, and the nagging feeling didn’t let go throughout her dinner preparation. She should have told them from the beginning but she just couldn’t. It was really strange.
She did try a few times and mostly with Akira because she knew that Shuji was a skeptic when it comes to love. He told them that he doesn’t believe in love and what other nonsense, sounding like an old man who was world-weary and disappointed with love.
She had told Akira:
“I think I’m in love.”
He dropped the plate which he had filled with cake and looked at her in shock, eyes wide opened. He then whispered, as if he couldn’t breathe :
“Shuji?”
He was in his Akira-shocked state and sat on her couch looking unblinking at how she cleaned the mess on the floor. Akira had only Shuji in his mind. In his simple reasoning that if he is in love with Shuji then everybody must also be in love with Shuji.
She felt frustrated but left all attempts to continue the conversation, she was afraid to traumatize her friend.
She knew that her friends had all the rights to know but she also knew that Shuji was too busy with his work and Akira was too busy with Shuji and Nobuta was in love. And for the first time. She wanted to savor the new feeling and keep it to herself but she suddenly felt the strange need to have her friends with her. Nobuta always had difficulties adapting to change and even if the change is nice, she still wanted her friends with her.
She had the best time of her life when she met them. They came to her at a time when she was at the lowest point of her life. They taught her to love and enjoy life. She learned so much from them. And together they created a world where they could be happy, where she could be happy. They were her heroes, her precious friends. And even through the years, they have always supported her decisions. When she decided to become a reporter, Shuji and Akira ran with her from place to place to find a job and when she got one, they rehearsed with her and cheered her on. They chose an apartment together, somewhere near her workplace and in a good neighborhood. Even the couch in her room, Akira went and lied on every couch of every shop they went to, to find the most comfortable. This annoyed Shuji who just told Akira that all couches are the same.
Nobuta trusted them, no doubt about that but her love life is not a couch nor is it an apartment. She had found someone very dear and knowing her friends, she wondered how they will react. They gave her so much but she thinks that with this matter, she can help them better.
Her life would change, and theirs along with hers. It was not like that Nobuta would want to decide for them but what she had witnessed will prove her right. Shuji and Akira would always be together. In the future, they would make each other happy and sooner or later they will both realize it.
~Shuji~
A successful person is a dreamer whom someone believed in.
Years ago, Shuji firmly believed that life was just a game and people should enjoy it to the fullest. Rules were always the same and it only depended upon yourself if you would win the game or if in the end you would meet with the huge “GAME OVER”. With every passing year, Shuji’s faith in this philosophy only became stronger but at the same time it underwent some changes. Life is a game but it is also a fact that things are not cut in stone, who would end up winning or losing. What is most important in life is that people could fail and end up hurting, but there will always be hands that are willing to help you stand up and continue with your life’s quests.
Shuji always wanted to be a good person but he wasn’t sure if he would be able to do it. Looking into his reflection in the mirror, he winked at himself and thought that he was a step towards the right direction. He had a brand new suit on, the black tie at half Windsor, a last look at the mirror and Kiritani Shuji, producer is ready to change the world. He actually was not a producer but rather a manager, but he is absolutely satisfied with his work. The first sip of his hot coffee burned his upper lip; he has no time for breakfast and would take something later on. It was time to go, else he would be late. Shuji impatiently knocked on Akira’s closed door but got no response. He opened the door but the room was empty, only a voice singing some disjointed Spanish song emanated from the bathroom telling him that Akira was not yet ready. Shuji always wondered how he managed to get to work on time, it was a mystery. But when it comes to Akira, a lot of things were inexplicable. Shuji left a short note on the table:
Dinner with Nobuta tonight. Don’t forget.
Shuji couldn’t be late, he had too much work and he was really curious about what Nobuta wanted to talk about.
~Nobuta~
A real friend is someone who would feel loss if you jumped on a train, or in front of one.
Akira laughed at his own joke while Shuji just chuckled at the mental image that it conjured. They complimented her cooking and Akira said that he would be keeping the little rabbit forever because he looked like Nobuta. He took the salad and decided to make a school uniform for the rabbit and Shuji tried to help him. This was how they usually pass their dinners. They talk about serious things, laugh about their problems and spend a lot of time doing silly things to entertain each other.
Now is the time, she decided, to be honest and tell the boys why she invited them today. Meanwhile, Akira left the carrot alone and started eating the noodles, making different sounds. Shuji, as if reading her thoughts, turned toward her and asked curiously:
“What did you want to speak with us with? Problems at work?” She saw concern in Shuji’s brown eyes.
“I love watching your face on TV,” Akira said, mouth full with noodles. He threw Shuji a look then at Nobuta. “Maybe, you should change your apron.”
She looked at their faces and with a deep breath, said:
“I am getting married…”
Silence. One, two, three. She thought she can hear the sound of the wind and someone passing near her window humming some tune (her apartment was in the third floor.) And then a hiss let out by Akira as he accidentally dipped his finger in the hot pot.
~Shuji~
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
A plain melody played on the radio, a nice girly voice singing about first love. Shuji impatiently tapped the wheel, a traffic jam at this late hour was rate and absolutely unexpected. With a sigh, he concluded that the day was full of unexpected things.
He was still shocked at Nobuta’s revelation. It was not like he found it strange that she was getting married but he had no idea that she ever had a boyfriend. What with all her mysteries and secrets. During all these years, she had her share of admirers, but she never showed any feelings towards them and now she was telling them that she would be someone’s wife soon. He could still remember how cold Akira’s hand was as he squeezed it under the table as she told them how she met her fiancé at the TV station. He was a professor at the University. Shuji listened to her voice but his thoughts were on Akira’s cold hand. The hands which usually were so warm, sometimes too much. He felt how shocked his friend was and Akira couldn’t even hide it.
Akira had always been single, living in the same apartment with Shuji and the latter thought that Akira still had feelings towards Nobuta, no matter how many years had passed and no matter what he said. He knew it must be hard for Akira.
When Shuji drove Akira home, the latter was so silent. It was so unlike the noisy Akira who always must show his feelings and thoughts in a loud and annoying way. Then Akira asked him faintly:
“Do you think Nobuta will be happy with him?”
Shuji sighed heavily:
“We must trust Nobuta and support her decision. She needs it from us.”
Akira nodded, Shuji watched his expression and he really wanted to know what his friend was thinking about. No matter what will happen, he will be nearby and would try to comfort Akira.
They returned home. Shuji opened the door and let Akira enter first. They sat on the couch together and Shuji placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder, the latter leaned in closer as if seeking for warmth. “She must be happy.” Akira said confidently. And Shuji smiled.
The cars started moving again and Shuji decided to change the song. He was tired. His day started early today. This last few months, Shuji was running from one place to another trying to find a new contract and when he almost had it, the guy just ditched him. He waited for two hours with the producer but the guy never came. Shuji felt frustrated. No matter how hard he tried and how many times he explained that these meetings are important to someone who wanted to be a star, the arrogant guy just did everything in his own way. Sometimes, Shuji couldn’t understand why the hell he wasted his time with him. But then he remembers that the guy was really talented and it was Shuji’s job to make him popular and sell.
The narrow streets, the loud music and the crowd walking the night and laughing shrilly, Shuji never liked this part of the city. He parked his car and switched off the engine. The street wasn’t his favorite but this area was all that his soon-to-be-superstar could afford and the man declined all Shuji’s attempt to find him an apartment in the better side of the city.
Shuji went upstairs, grey dirty walls all around. He can hear a woman’s high-pitched voice, cursing and swearing on the next floor. There was a dark door with graffiti on it but it was so dirty that even that no one can read. He knocked on the door. Shuji waited for a few seconds but no one opened, like always. He pushed the door and it opened with a thump. The smell of cigarettes hit him instantly, and of something else. He saw a few bottles on the floor and knelt to pick them up. It wasn’t really part of his job to clean up the mess, but he couldn’t help it. Every time he entered he had the burning urge to throw everything out, open the windows wider and let in the breeze and refresh this room with countless of useless things littering the floor. He placed the empty bottles in a basket and looked around the room. It was empty except for all the litter scattered about. Shuji turned to leave when he felt something latched on to his wrist plling him back, his back landing on somebody’s chest.
“So classy… I love how you smell.”
He felt how the owner of the voice whispered into his ear, sliding his nose through Shuji’s neck, pausing at the junction where the collar of his expensive shirt began.
“Two hours. We waited for you for two hours.”
Shuji’s voice though calm was octave higher. He felt warm long fingers caress his chest through the shirt, making Shuji shiver under the touch, then he felt how his elegant jacket fell down the floor.
“I was busy.”
Shuji’s shirt was already unbuttoned. He turned and met with brown orbs, eyes half open, messy hair and a white tank with some stray strands. Shuji had an urge to comb the man’s hair to a more civilized style and change his clothes and give him a pair of huge sunglasses to hide the dark circles adorning his beautiful eyes. But he just stepped closer, pressing the other man to the now closed door.
“New song?”
Shuji closed his eyes, feeling how his shirt slid down and warm palms touch his bare chest.
“You will like it.”
A soft chuckle then a pair of lips on his tasting of cigarettes and something else that made Shuji’s blood boil in his veins.
Shuji needed to relax now, he knew that Natsu couldn’t help it, no matter how empty he would feel later.
~Akira~
A hundred hearts would be too few
To carry all my love for you.
Our lives are so arranged that if we lose something, we always after some time gain something else in return. This is the natural course of events, allowing a balance in life.
After Shuji left Tokyo, Akira sat in his messy room, waiting for the so-called balance in his life because lately his messy world became even messier and it frustrated him. It was really rare for Akira to be in such a moody state. So he wasn’t sure himself on how to deal with it. He had no desire to walk, to talk, to leave his home. He was sure that if he would step out, he would notice how the world was still going on about its business and he really did not need it. For Akira, the world spun around him and his world spun around his friends. The only constant in his life right now is Nobuta, who sat beside him and was busy with some paper or postcards, he wasn’t sue and he wasn’t sure. Another alarm showing how troubled his feelings were.
These past few days, they spent a lot of time together. Akira’s melancholy was eating him alive and he wasn’t the type to be just silent in such a state, so when he is distressed he’s noisy and loud. Nobuta tried to distract him, she even smiled a few times. Akira loved her smile but sometimes he missed her forced smiles a little bit, or maybe something else, he wasn’t sure. The sound a pencil scratching something on paper stopped and Akira turned his head slightly and was met with worried brown eyes.
“Go…”
Her voice sounded plain and calm. Akira raised his head which was cradled on his hand on the table and asked dumbfounded:
“Where?”
“Shuji and Akira must be together.”
She looked into his eyes that only she could, sinking under his skin.
“And Nobuta?”
“I will cry for three days and after everything will be okay, I will smile…”
Akira looked at her face with a serious expression but his thoughts were faraway. A new feeling was awoken, blooming slowly and spreading something new…
When he saw Shuji who was fidgeting in his desk, eyes hopeful at the beginning of a new life, he felt it again deep in his heart. And he understood that if it was possible, he wanted to get married to Shuji and go to the zoo with him.
Akira enjoyed living with Shuji’s family. He loved looking at Shuji when he’s doing housework seriously, tucking the stray curly strands behind his ear. Akira loved looking at Shuji especially when the latter slept. His face was always so peaceful and Akira could place a soft kiss after which Shuji would make the cutest noises but continued to sleep.
Akira loved Shuji’s smell. It was always soft and very familiar. He loved how Shuji could be very serious and tried hard to achieve something, how he cared about others forgetting about himself and how vulnerable he can be sometimes. Akira loved these moments too, when he could put his hand on Shuji’s shoulder, close his eyes and think how he could transfer all his energy to his friend because most of all he wanted to see Shuji’s happy smile.
Their last year in school was full of new, shy and sincere feelings that made Akira heart on the verge of explosion. He often placed a hand over it trying to calm his heartbeat. He was so charmed with the strong warm waves that caught him by surprise that sometimes he didn’t want to share it. He wanted to keep it all to himself, throwing glances at Shuji and hugging him tightly. He knew that this is destiny and one day he would open his feelings to Shuji.
But everything has an end and one day their childhood came to end too. Shuji and Akira were absolutely unprepared for it. They were in the beach of that little town looking at the horizon lost in thought, of the future that was inexorably approaching. Akira threw Shuji a glance. He was looking at the sky with a frown like he hoped to find the answers written there. Diplomas in hands, the sound of the waves splashing, Akira drew a pig on the sand near him. He wondered if it was different for Nobuta to understand since she can smile now. His father called recently telling him that it was time to return and be an adult. Akira placed a chin on Shuji’s shoulder, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be an adult.
“What next?” - Shuji voice sounded lost.
“You are the producer here, you decide...”
Akira looked at Shuji’s face, he doesn't care, and he will accept Shuji’s every decision.
“Producer,” - the word rolled in Shuji’s mouth, he looked thoughtful.
~Nobuta~
Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.
“And like this we will have delicious pasta and you can add some spices to your taste for a better flavor. This is Kotani Nobuko, today I introduced to you a very simple yet tasty Italian dishes and next week I will present you with a new recipe.”
Nobuta’s voice was calm, with a perfect diction, her smile bright, perfect make up, hair in an elegant ponytail, after the light was switched off, she placed the plate of prepared pasta with a soft thud.
She liked her work, she never thought before that she will like this routine with a lot of attention, bright light at her face and so many people around. It was very hard in the beginning, but after a year, they thought about the cooking segment, she agreed, because Akira said, that it will be great and she would smile on TV looking at him, Shuji laughed, telling that she will be like a serious classy woman in an apron with a big wooden spoon. The next week she was smiling on them from the TV.
She heard how staff began clapping at her for finishing her segment perfectly. It was a live-airing. And when Nobuta smiled, looking at the camera, she knew that her friends received her message. Few times Akira tried to treat her with shrimps made with her recipe but throwing look at their strange color Nobuta refused to eat them. He felt offended and ended eating them by himself because Shuji refused to eat it too.
Nobuta started to worry, after she told them about her marriage. Akira hadn’t called to her even once. She already missed his random phone calls just to throw a brief phrase or some nonsense about Shuji running at the building like crazy or other things that Shuji did or said. She wondered what again he has in his mind and she wanted to find out and to talk with him. Sometimes he had such ridiculous ideas.
She spoke with Shuji about it, the latter promised to find out what was bothering Akira. She looked at the mirror, checking her hair; her fiancé will be here later for lunch.
When she met Shintaro at the TV station, he had some recording as a guest in a segment in the same program where she worked. She had no idea how this meeting would change her life. They started seeing each other, sometimes in the café where he waited for her after work, sometimes in a park near the TV station. The University where he was working wasn’t far away and they met often talking about different things.
Shintaro was few years older than she was. He had this kind of mature attractiveness that promised a peaceful life and good family. When he proposed to Nobuta, little bit shyly, but confident in his feelings, she was very happy. She felt different near him, he looked at her with shining eyes and slowly, Nobuta started loving the man because he was honest, kind, and he always looked at her like she was special.
She knew that look, like the way Akira always looked at Shuji, but something else in Akira’s eyes, longing. Her friends were hopeless.
She felt bad for not telling her friends about Shintaro but lately their life was a mess. She saw how Akira still kept his feelings and how it was painful for him and Shuji, he wasn’t looking for love. He was too much engaged to his work and he exchanged the definition of love for something different, cheaper.
Maybe now it’s her turn to help her friends, to make them open their eyes and create another world, where they can be happy. But thinking how Shuji took Akira’s hand under the table, she thinks with a smile, that maybe she’s moving in the right direction.
~Shuji~
A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half-cracked.
Shuji needed a rest. He couldn’t talk with Natsu when they’re not in the bed. Shuji felt that they speak in different languages and Natsu never could understand what Shuji wanted. Not really about what Shuji wanted, but more about what Natsu needed, but it’s so frustrating. The producer needed a new song, they have a good opportunity and Natsu could let this chance slip. Again.
Shuji opened the door and saw the private elevator. He inserted the thin card to allow him to the rooftop. The click, silly melody, no doubt it was Akira’s choice and he found himself at the last floor of a skyscraper. There was a little table with Shuji’s favorite coffee brand, he made himself one and pushed the button of the coffee machine.
This place was a paradise, Akira’s paradise that he created for himself. Akira said that he can’t work if he felt uncomfortable and the elegant office with a big dark wooden table and luxurious room for secretary was transformed in something that Shuji even cannot find the name for. But Akira felt satisfied, with big round room with a lot of windows, with little kitchenette and big round table, with a lot of papers and different things. Shuji wasn’t sure that Akira needed all these for work, the big TV and the couch in another corner. Akira liked watching Nobuta’s show and preparing something and trying after to treat Shuji.
This was Akira’s place and the secretary was on another floor with all the staff. Only Shuji had a card enter here which Akira gave him. What really surprised and impressed Shuji was that despite all the silly requests and struggling with the decorations of the room, Akira was a good boss, who had very creative ideas and all his co-workers respected him. This made Shuji proud. He passed through the big glass door and found himself at the veranda with a few training simulators, a wooden table and a few chairs and nothing else.
A hot cup of coffee in his hands, the wind slightly blowing his hair, the view from the rooftop of the building was absolutely breathtaking. He noticed Akira, who was drinking something in a long glass and this something had a strange color. Akira liked experimenting and Shuji really didn’t want to know what was inside.
“Shuji!” - Akira looked at him with a smile.
“Nobuta called me,” Shuji looked at Akira and the small frown appeared between his eyebrows, “She needs our help today.”
Shuji looked expectantly. Akira stood and started walking towards Shuji.
“I think she doesn’t love him.”
“How would you know?” Shuji raised his brows, looking at his friend and then tried to stop him, his head was spinning already.
“Shuji, she will forget about us!” Akira’s eyes were wide open as he hugged Shuji dramatically. Shuji tried to free himself and after struggling he succeeded. He knew it; Akira could be so obvious sometimes.
“Are you jealous?” Akira looked shocked at Shuji.
“Me!? Shuji! You don’t understand!” Akira looked at his friend with an expression that Shuji knew very well.
Shuji sat on a chair with a heavy sigh. He really didn’t understand why Akira made everything complicated and what can it be else, that not simple jealousy.
“So tell me,” he said calmly, drinking his coffee and feeling how the hot liquid nicely made him feel warm.
“He will tell her not to talk to us anymore!” Akira exclaimed.
“Are we in the kindergarten? Why should he?” Shuji couldn’t believe his ears. He didn’t even begin to understand how the thought came into his friend.
“Because.“ Akira’s lips were in a thin line.
“Explain.” Shuji was fast becoming impatient.
“He will want to be the only one in her heart because when you love someone you want this person to be only with you.”
And finally Shuji understood everything. He made a few steps towards his friend and asked him in a soft voice:
“That’s why you weren’t calling her?”
Akira just nodded. Shuji patted his shoulder:
“You are an idiot. Today we will find a wedding dress for Nobuta, so be ready.”
And with a laugh, Shuji left the rooftop. When he heard how the elevator slid down soundlessly he felt it too, the insecurities. Of course a lot will change, Nobuta’s life will change but right now she needs them and Shuji knew how important it was.
~Nobuta~
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every girl dreamed of the day when she would wear a beautiful white dress and give her heart and life to the man she loved. Sometimes Nobuta thought about it too, but recently she thought about it often. She nicely declined her mother’s proposition to accompany her and help her choose the dress. This important choice she can trust only to two people in whole world, but now she started doubting it. She felt nervous, looking in the big mirror at her reflection with a white dress with a big fluffy lacy skirt and a lot of sparkling stones, they called it “princess style” and Akira chose it himself. She felt like a big cake and you just have to put a little bit of cream on her head and the picture would be complete. She sighed looking at herself when heard her friends’ conversation, who were standing near her changing room.
“What did you give to her?” Shuji raised his voice. Nobuta was sure he has that little frown between his eyebrows.
“Because she must be like a princess!” came the stubborn answer. “And she needs a crown too, with lots of diamonds. Every princess must have it. I will buy it for her.”
“NO!” Shuji’s and Nobuta’s voices were heard at the same time.
She opened the curtain and went to her friends. Shuji looked at her dress, then at her face, licked his lips nervously and left the room fast.
Silence.
“You look beautiful.” Akira started first. Nobuta just sighed and didn’t answer.
Silence.
“Nothing will change.”
Her eyes were so serious and she saw how Akira tried to look somewhere else, but she touched his sleeves and said, “I’ll be here.”
Shuji returned with another dress. Elegant and simpler and when Nobuta wore it, she understood that she was right with her decision. She gently touched the fabric with her finger and turned around to her friends, but they already were near the shoes shelf arguing about which one to choose. Shuji took a pair and Akira hugged him exclaiming that he is the king of shoes, and Shuji tried to free himself while Akira hugged him even tighter.
Sometimes she wondered how long her friend will suffer alone, bearing this pain and how long her other friend would walk around in circles absolutely lost.
They chose a dress, a pair of shoes and everything that Shuji said she needed. Shuji looked contently at his choice and Akira winked with a smile.
Afterwards they were sitting in a cozy, little café eating and talking about different things that happened that day. Akira made pasta from Nobuta’s recipe and let his secretary eat it. The poor girl started crying, he had added to much pepper. Nobuta told them about her funny assistant who always stepped on her feet. But then she noticed that Shuji was silent. He smiled and laughed with them, but didn’t tell any story. Akira gave Shuji more fries, and Shuji just obediently opened his mouth. Akira’s hand was always on his shoulder, like warming him.
She sipped her Earl grey tea and wondered if Shuji ever noticed Akira’s feelings for him or maybe he never even suspected anything?
~Shuji~
Life is not one thing after another. It's the same damn thing over and over!
Irritated? No! Enraged! This was the only way Shuji could describe his feelings, he pushed the door with a loud bang in the same apartment, that he already knew by heart and saw the face of that hopeless guy who was sitting and playing his guitar, pretending that he didn't understand anything and even dared to raise his eyebrow at Shuji's violence towards the poor door.
“You did it again!” Shuji didn't even try to hide how upset and irritated he was.
Natsu pursed his lips and let his finger touch the guitar strings, making a few painful sounds. Shuji had a feeling that Natsu played straight at his open nerves and he had this faraway look in his eyes that drove Shuji to despair.
“Have you lost your mind?! How could you act like this with the producer, were you drunk again? Just tell me!” Shuji was shouting already, but he looked at the other man's brown orbs and he wasn’t sure if Natsu was even listening.
All these months it was a race, every day, when Shuji tried to grab as many opportunities as he could. If Shuji had any illusions, when he met Natsu everything was gone. That was just sex, because Natsu wanted to make Shuji shut up and nothing else. The bitter smile played at Shuji's lips. He didn't understand why he was here, why he still wanted to help Natsu. These words that he threw at the other's face, he did it so many times, trying to explain, but everything felt pointless, and Shuji was tired. He couldn't fight alone. If Natsu decide to bury his talent and his life, who was Shuji to stop him. Shuji just breathed heavily.
“I don’t understand you! I don’t understand you at all! This is your life! You are destroying it with your own hands!” his voice was tired, he saw how Natsu looked at him and he already knew what would follow.
Natsu stood at his feet, he looked from half closed eyes, lazily placed the guitar on the couch, took a few steps and then he was kissing Shuji, gently, slowly, like he was asking for forgiveness, his hand at other's nape, playing with the soft hair. Shuji closed his eyes. The kiss was bitter for him, and he remembered so much, the same kisses with the same meaning and always the same scenario again and again. He felt how Natsu embraced him, caressing his back carefully, while his lips trailed his long neck and in this moment something snapped in Shuji. He opened his eyes and felt suffocated.
Shuji pushed Natsu, the other looked surprised, eyes wide open and so vulnerable, like Shuji had just hit him or done something even worse. Natsu eyes were so dark and expressive in his handsome face.
“So that’s true, you were drunk?” - not a question, but statement.
“This is my life, you said it yourself,” - his lips swollen, voice hoarse. Natsu never talked provokingly or daringly, he was always calm and he decided everything for himself.
A bitter chuckle left Shuji lips and his words sounded harsh. He stabbed with every phrase, because he had decided to.
“It is. You can dress like you want and forget about other people and your success. You can spend all your life miserably pitying yourself, that’s your right. But I’m done with you.”
Shuji looked at dark eyes and maybe it was just his imagination or he really hurt Natsu, but it was his aim. He was near the door, when he threw the last phrase:
“I begged them to listen to you again. Next Friday and you better wear a clean shirt.”
The door closed and Shuji left, feeling empty, like always.
----> part 2
Title:Seishun Amor
Pairing:Shuji /Akira, Shuji/Natsu, Nobuta/OC
Word count: 11 400~
Rating:PG
Genre/Warnings:romance, NwP /Bandage crossover
Notes: Joo! I’m happy to write for you! A lot of hearts to sweet and lovely mod for patience! My eternal love to my betas and friends for handholding!
Summary: Shuji and Akira would always be together. In the future, they would make each other happy and sooner or later they will both realize it.
~Nobuta~
I didn't find my friends; the good Lord gave them to me.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
A freshly baked pie filled the cozy, bright room with a delicious aroma. The table was laid out for three: the napkins folded artfully beside the plates, the chopsticks polished and the water glasses gleaming. Little plates loaded with snacks a bountiful on the table. On the kitchen table, there were other dishes waiting to be placed on the table. It was obvious at first glance that the food were prepared with love and lots of effort, appetizing edible flowers made from butter and vegetables, carrots that look like a rabbit and cucumbers like fingers. Not to mention the new lacy tablecloth bought just for the occasion and, the little pillows fluffed and arranged on the couch. The windows were kept open to let the fresh air in, in anticipation of the guests’ arrival.
All the preparations made was a dead giveaway that whatever the occasion was, it was very special and very important.
Near the huge window, a young woman looked into the outside world fidgeting, a clear sign that she was nervous. Her black hair framing her gentle features, her white silk shirt and black skirt looked a bit too formal for the dinner she prepared. The sun which a few hours ago shone brightly was now slowly hiding behind the horizon, coloring the sky in pastel tones. A soft smile played on her lips as she remembered beautiful memories. Thoughts of which gave her a warm feeling inside.
She was holding an old picture. A picture of three teenagers, two boys with wide, goofy smiles flashing the peace sign and a girl whose black hair covered her face but you can still clearly see that her lips were curved in a poor imitation of a smile. She caressed the picture with a finger, laughing at the memories it evoked. She threw her watch a glance and tried to calm her nerves. It was almost time.
She sighed heavily, putting the frame down on the table. She was glad that she finished her shooting early today and therefore had time to prepare dinner. Another quick glance to her watch, it was almost time. There was no reason to be so nervous, she tried to reassure herself. But she felt guilty, and the nagging feeling didn’t let go throughout her dinner preparation. She should have told them from the beginning but she just couldn’t. It was really strange.
She did try a few times and mostly with Akira because she knew that Shuji was a skeptic when it comes to love. He told them that he doesn’t believe in love and what other nonsense, sounding like an old man who was world-weary and disappointed with love.
She had told Akira:
“I think I’m in love.”
He dropped the plate which he had filled with cake and looked at her in shock, eyes wide opened. He then whispered, as if he couldn’t breathe :
“Shuji?”
He was in his Akira-shocked state and sat on her couch looking unblinking at how she cleaned the mess on the floor. Akira had only Shuji in his mind. In his simple reasoning that if he is in love with Shuji then everybody must also be in love with Shuji.
She felt frustrated but left all attempts to continue the conversation, she was afraid to traumatize her friend.
She knew that her friends had all the rights to know but she also knew that Shuji was too busy with his work and Akira was too busy with Shuji and Nobuta was in love. And for the first time. She wanted to savor the new feeling and keep it to herself but she suddenly felt the strange need to have her friends with her. Nobuta always had difficulties adapting to change and even if the change is nice, she still wanted her friends with her.
She had the best time of her life when she met them. They came to her at a time when she was at the lowest point of her life. They taught her to love and enjoy life. She learned so much from them. And together they created a world where they could be happy, where she could be happy. They were her heroes, her precious friends. And even through the years, they have always supported her decisions. When she decided to become a reporter, Shuji and Akira ran with her from place to place to find a job and when she got one, they rehearsed with her and cheered her on. They chose an apartment together, somewhere near her workplace and in a good neighborhood. Even the couch in her room, Akira went and lied on every couch of every shop they went to, to find the most comfortable. This annoyed Shuji who just told Akira that all couches are the same.
Nobuta trusted them, no doubt about that but her love life is not a couch nor is it an apartment. She had found someone very dear and knowing her friends, she wondered how they will react. They gave her so much but she thinks that with this matter, she can help them better.
Her life would change, and theirs along with hers. It was not like that Nobuta would want to decide for them but what she had witnessed will prove her right. Shuji and Akira would always be together. In the future, they would make each other happy and sooner or later they will both realize it.
~Shuji~
A successful person is a dreamer whom someone believed in.
Years ago, Shuji firmly believed that life was just a game and people should enjoy it to the fullest. Rules were always the same and it only depended upon yourself if you would win the game or if in the end you would meet with the huge “GAME OVER”. With every passing year, Shuji’s faith in this philosophy only became stronger but at the same time it underwent some changes. Life is a game but it is also a fact that things are not cut in stone, who would end up winning or losing. What is most important in life is that people could fail and end up hurting, but there will always be hands that are willing to help you stand up and continue with your life’s quests.
Shuji always wanted to be a good person but he wasn’t sure if he would be able to do it. Looking into his reflection in the mirror, he winked at himself and thought that he was a step towards the right direction. He had a brand new suit on, the black tie at half Windsor, a last look at the mirror and Kiritani Shuji, producer is ready to change the world. He actually was not a producer but rather a manager, but he is absolutely satisfied with his work. The first sip of his hot coffee burned his upper lip; he has no time for breakfast and would take something later on. It was time to go, else he would be late. Shuji impatiently knocked on Akira’s closed door but got no response. He opened the door but the room was empty, only a voice singing some disjointed Spanish song emanated from the bathroom telling him that Akira was not yet ready. Shuji always wondered how he managed to get to work on time, it was a mystery. But when it comes to Akira, a lot of things were inexplicable. Shuji left a short note on the table:
Dinner with Nobuta tonight. Don’t forget.
Shuji couldn’t be late, he had too much work and he was really curious about what Nobuta wanted to talk about.
~Nobuta~
A real friend is someone who would feel loss if you jumped on a train, or in front of one.
Akira laughed at his own joke while Shuji just chuckled at the mental image that it conjured. They complimented her cooking and Akira said that he would be keeping the little rabbit forever because he looked like Nobuta. He took the salad and decided to make a school uniform for the rabbit and Shuji tried to help him. This was how they usually pass their dinners. They talk about serious things, laugh about their problems and spend a lot of time doing silly things to entertain each other.
Now is the time, she decided, to be honest and tell the boys why she invited them today. Meanwhile, Akira left the carrot alone and started eating the noodles, making different sounds. Shuji, as if reading her thoughts, turned toward her and asked curiously:
“What did you want to speak with us with? Problems at work?” She saw concern in Shuji’s brown eyes.
“I love watching your face on TV,” Akira said, mouth full with noodles. He threw Shuji a look then at Nobuta. “Maybe, you should change your apron.”
She looked at their faces and with a deep breath, said:
“I am getting married…”
Silence. One, two, three. She thought she can hear the sound of the wind and someone passing near her window humming some tune (her apartment was in the third floor.) And then a hiss let out by Akira as he accidentally dipped his finger in the hot pot.
~Shuji~
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
A plain melody played on the radio, a nice girly voice singing about first love. Shuji impatiently tapped the wheel, a traffic jam at this late hour was rate and absolutely unexpected. With a sigh, he concluded that the day was full of unexpected things.
He was still shocked at Nobuta’s revelation. It was not like he found it strange that she was getting married but he had no idea that she ever had a boyfriend. What with all her mysteries and secrets. During all these years, she had her share of admirers, but she never showed any feelings towards them and now she was telling them that she would be someone’s wife soon. He could still remember how cold Akira’s hand was as he squeezed it under the table as she told them how she met her fiancé at the TV station. He was a professor at the University. Shuji listened to her voice but his thoughts were on Akira’s cold hand. The hands which usually were so warm, sometimes too much. He felt how shocked his friend was and Akira couldn’t even hide it.
Akira had always been single, living in the same apartment with Shuji and the latter thought that Akira still had feelings towards Nobuta, no matter how many years had passed and no matter what he said. He knew it must be hard for Akira.
When Shuji drove Akira home, the latter was so silent. It was so unlike the noisy Akira who always must show his feelings and thoughts in a loud and annoying way. Then Akira asked him faintly:
“Do you think Nobuta will be happy with him?”
Shuji sighed heavily:
“We must trust Nobuta and support her decision. She needs it from us.”
Akira nodded, Shuji watched his expression and he really wanted to know what his friend was thinking about. No matter what will happen, he will be nearby and would try to comfort Akira.
They returned home. Shuji opened the door and let Akira enter first. They sat on the couch together and Shuji placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder, the latter leaned in closer as if seeking for warmth. “She must be happy.” Akira said confidently. And Shuji smiled.
The cars started moving again and Shuji decided to change the song. He was tired. His day started early today. This last few months, Shuji was running from one place to another trying to find a new contract and when he almost had it, the guy just ditched him. He waited for two hours with the producer but the guy never came. Shuji felt frustrated. No matter how hard he tried and how many times he explained that these meetings are important to someone who wanted to be a star, the arrogant guy just did everything in his own way. Sometimes, Shuji couldn’t understand why the hell he wasted his time with him. But then he remembers that the guy was really talented and it was Shuji’s job to make him popular and sell.
The narrow streets, the loud music and the crowd walking the night and laughing shrilly, Shuji never liked this part of the city. He parked his car and switched off the engine. The street wasn’t his favorite but this area was all that his soon-to-be-superstar could afford and the man declined all Shuji’s attempt to find him an apartment in the better side of the city.
Shuji went upstairs, grey dirty walls all around. He can hear a woman’s high-pitched voice, cursing and swearing on the next floor. There was a dark door with graffiti on it but it was so dirty that even that no one can read. He knocked on the door. Shuji waited for a few seconds but no one opened, like always. He pushed the door and it opened with a thump. The smell of cigarettes hit him instantly, and of something else. He saw a few bottles on the floor and knelt to pick them up. It wasn’t really part of his job to clean up the mess, but he couldn’t help it. Every time he entered he had the burning urge to throw everything out, open the windows wider and let in the breeze and refresh this room with countless of useless things littering the floor. He placed the empty bottles in a basket and looked around the room. It was empty except for all the litter scattered about. Shuji turned to leave when he felt something latched on to his wrist plling him back, his back landing on somebody’s chest.
“So classy… I love how you smell.”
He felt how the owner of the voice whispered into his ear, sliding his nose through Shuji’s neck, pausing at the junction where the collar of his expensive shirt began.
“Two hours. We waited for you for two hours.”
Shuji’s voice though calm was octave higher. He felt warm long fingers caress his chest through the shirt, making Shuji shiver under the touch, then he felt how his elegant jacket fell down the floor.
“I was busy.”
Shuji’s shirt was already unbuttoned. He turned and met with brown orbs, eyes half open, messy hair and a white tank with some stray strands. Shuji had an urge to comb the man’s hair to a more civilized style and change his clothes and give him a pair of huge sunglasses to hide the dark circles adorning his beautiful eyes. But he just stepped closer, pressing the other man to the now closed door.
“New song?”
Shuji closed his eyes, feeling how his shirt slid down and warm palms touch his bare chest.
“You will like it.”
A soft chuckle then a pair of lips on his tasting of cigarettes and something else that made Shuji’s blood boil in his veins.
Shuji needed to relax now, he knew that Natsu couldn’t help it, no matter how empty he would feel later.
~Akira~
A hundred hearts would be too few
To carry all my love for you.
Our lives are so arranged that if we lose something, we always after some time gain something else in return. This is the natural course of events, allowing a balance in life.
After Shuji left Tokyo, Akira sat in his messy room, waiting for the so-called balance in his life because lately his messy world became even messier and it frustrated him. It was really rare for Akira to be in such a moody state. So he wasn’t sure himself on how to deal with it. He had no desire to walk, to talk, to leave his home. He was sure that if he would step out, he would notice how the world was still going on about its business and he really did not need it. For Akira, the world spun around him and his world spun around his friends. The only constant in his life right now is Nobuta, who sat beside him and was busy with some paper or postcards, he wasn’t sue and he wasn’t sure. Another alarm showing how troubled his feelings were.
These past few days, they spent a lot of time together. Akira’s melancholy was eating him alive and he wasn’t the type to be just silent in such a state, so when he is distressed he’s noisy and loud. Nobuta tried to distract him, she even smiled a few times. Akira loved her smile but sometimes he missed her forced smiles a little bit, or maybe something else, he wasn’t sure. The sound a pencil scratching something on paper stopped and Akira turned his head slightly and was met with worried brown eyes.
“Go…”
Her voice sounded plain and calm. Akira raised his head which was cradled on his hand on the table and asked dumbfounded:
“Where?”
“Shuji and Akira must be together.”
She looked into his eyes that only she could, sinking under his skin.
“And Nobuta?”
“I will cry for three days and after everything will be okay, I will smile…”
Akira looked at her face with a serious expression but his thoughts were faraway. A new feeling was awoken, blooming slowly and spreading something new…
When he saw Shuji who was fidgeting in his desk, eyes hopeful at the beginning of a new life, he felt it again deep in his heart. And he understood that if it was possible, he wanted to get married to Shuji and go to the zoo with him.
Akira enjoyed living with Shuji’s family. He loved looking at Shuji when he’s doing housework seriously, tucking the stray curly strands behind his ear. Akira loved looking at Shuji especially when the latter slept. His face was always so peaceful and Akira could place a soft kiss after which Shuji would make the cutest noises but continued to sleep.
Akira loved Shuji’s smell. It was always soft and very familiar. He loved how Shuji could be very serious and tried hard to achieve something, how he cared about others forgetting about himself and how vulnerable he can be sometimes. Akira loved these moments too, when he could put his hand on Shuji’s shoulder, close his eyes and think how he could transfer all his energy to his friend because most of all he wanted to see Shuji’s happy smile.
Their last year in school was full of new, shy and sincere feelings that made Akira heart on the verge of explosion. He often placed a hand over it trying to calm his heartbeat. He was so charmed with the strong warm waves that caught him by surprise that sometimes he didn’t want to share it. He wanted to keep it all to himself, throwing glances at Shuji and hugging him tightly. He knew that this is destiny and one day he would open his feelings to Shuji.
But everything has an end and one day their childhood came to end too. Shuji and Akira were absolutely unprepared for it. They were in the beach of that little town looking at the horizon lost in thought, of the future that was inexorably approaching. Akira threw Shuji a glance. He was looking at the sky with a frown like he hoped to find the answers written there. Diplomas in hands, the sound of the waves splashing, Akira drew a pig on the sand near him. He wondered if it was different for Nobuta to understand since she can smile now. His father called recently telling him that it was time to return and be an adult. Akira placed a chin on Shuji’s shoulder, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be an adult.
“What next?” - Shuji voice sounded lost.
“You are the producer here, you decide...”
Akira looked at Shuji’s face, he doesn't care, and he will accept Shuji’s every decision.
“Producer,” - the word rolled in Shuji’s mouth, he looked thoughtful.
~Nobuta~
Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.
“And like this we will have delicious pasta and you can add some spices to your taste for a better flavor. This is Kotani Nobuko, today I introduced to you a very simple yet tasty Italian dishes and next week I will present you with a new recipe.”
Nobuta’s voice was calm, with a perfect diction, her smile bright, perfect make up, hair in an elegant ponytail, after the light was switched off, she placed the plate of prepared pasta with a soft thud.
She liked her work, she never thought before that she will like this routine with a lot of attention, bright light at her face and so many people around. It was very hard in the beginning, but after a year, they thought about the cooking segment, she agreed, because Akira said, that it will be great and she would smile on TV looking at him, Shuji laughed, telling that she will be like a serious classy woman in an apron with a big wooden spoon. The next week she was smiling on them from the TV.
She heard how staff began clapping at her for finishing her segment perfectly. It was a live-airing. And when Nobuta smiled, looking at the camera, she knew that her friends received her message. Few times Akira tried to treat her with shrimps made with her recipe but throwing look at their strange color Nobuta refused to eat them. He felt offended and ended eating them by himself because Shuji refused to eat it too.
Nobuta started to worry, after she told them about her marriage. Akira hadn’t called to her even once. She already missed his random phone calls just to throw a brief phrase or some nonsense about Shuji running at the building like crazy or other things that Shuji did or said. She wondered what again he has in his mind and she wanted to find out and to talk with him. Sometimes he had such ridiculous ideas.
She spoke with Shuji about it, the latter promised to find out what was bothering Akira. She looked at the mirror, checking her hair; her fiancé will be here later for lunch.
When she met Shintaro at the TV station, he had some recording as a guest in a segment in the same program where she worked. She had no idea how this meeting would change her life. They started seeing each other, sometimes in the café where he waited for her after work, sometimes in a park near the TV station. The University where he was working wasn’t far away and they met often talking about different things.
Shintaro was few years older than she was. He had this kind of mature attractiveness that promised a peaceful life and good family. When he proposed to Nobuta, little bit shyly, but confident in his feelings, she was very happy. She felt different near him, he looked at her with shining eyes and slowly, Nobuta started loving the man because he was honest, kind, and he always looked at her like she was special.
She knew that look, like the way Akira always looked at Shuji, but something else in Akira’s eyes, longing. Her friends were hopeless.
She felt bad for not telling her friends about Shintaro but lately their life was a mess. She saw how Akira still kept his feelings and how it was painful for him and Shuji, he wasn’t looking for love. He was too much engaged to his work and he exchanged the definition of love for something different, cheaper.
Maybe now it’s her turn to help her friends, to make them open their eyes and create another world, where they can be happy. But thinking how Shuji took Akira’s hand under the table, she thinks with a smile, that maybe she’s moving in the right direction.
~Shuji~
A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half-cracked.
Shuji needed a rest. He couldn’t talk with Natsu when they’re not in the bed. Shuji felt that they speak in different languages and Natsu never could understand what Shuji wanted. Not really about what Shuji wanted, but more about what Natsu needed, but it’s so frustrating. The producer needed a new song, they have a good opportunity and Natsu could let this chance slip. Again.
Shuji opened the door and saw the private elevator. He inserted the thin card to allow him to the rooftop. The click, silly melody, no doubt it was Akira’s choice and he found himself at the last floor of a skyscraper. There was a little table with Shuji’s favorite coffee brand, he made himself one and pushed the button of the coffee machine.
This place was a paradise, Akira’s paradise that he created for himself. Akira said that he can’t work if he felt uncomfortable and the elegant office with a big dark wooden table and luxurious room for secretary was transformed in something that Shuji even cannot find the name for. But Akira felt satisfied, with big round room with a lot of windows, with little kitchenette and big round table, with a lot of papers and different things. Shuji wasn’t sure that Akira needed all these for work, the big TV and the couch in another corner. Akira liked watching Nobuta’s show and preparing something and trying after to treat Shuji.
This was Akira’s place and the secretary was on another floor with all the staff. Only Shuji had a card enter here which Akira gave him. What really surprised and impressed Shuji was that despite all the silly requests and struggling with the decorations of the room, Akira was a good boss, who had very creative ideas and all his co-workers respected him. This made Shuji proud. He passed through the big glass door and found himself at the veranda with a few training simulators, a wooden table and a few chairs and nothing else.
A hot cup of coffee in his hands, the wind slightly blowing his hair, the view from the rooftop of the building was absolutely breathtaking. He noticed Akira, who was drinking something in a long glass and this something had a strange color. Akira liked experimenting and Shuji really didn’t want to know what was inside.
“Shuji!” - Akira looked at him with a smile.
“Nobuta called me,” Shuji looked at Akira and the small frown appeared between his eyebrows, “She needs our help today.”
Shuji looked expectantly. Akira stood and started walking towards Shuji.
“I think she doesn’t love him.”
“How would you know?” Shuji raised his brows, looking at his friend and then tried to stop him, his head was spinning already.
“Shuji, she will forget about us!” Akira’s eyes were wide open as he hugged Shuji dramatically. Shuji tried to free himself and after struggling he succeeded. He knew it; Akira could be so obvious sometimes.
“Are you jealous?” Akira looked shocked at Shuji.
“Me!? Shuji! You don’t understand!” Akira looked at his friend with an expression that Shuji knew very well.
Shuji sat on a chair with a heavy sigh. He really didn’t understand why Akira made everything complicated and what can it be else, that not simple jealousy.
“So tell me,” he said calmly, drinking his coffee and feeling how the hot liquid nicely made him feel warm.
“He will tell her not to talk to us anymore!” Akira exclaimed.
“Are we in the kindergarten? Why should he?” Shuji couldn’t believe his ears. He didn’t even begin to understand how the thought came into his friend.
“Because.“ Akira’s lips were in a thin line.
“Explain.” Shuji was fast becoming impatient.
“He will want to be the only one in her heart because when you love someone you want this person to be only with you.”
And finally Shuji understood everything. He made a few steps towards his friend and asked him in a soft voice:
“That’s why you weren’t calling her?”
Akira just nodded. Shuji patted his shoulder:
“You are an idiot. Today we will find a wedding dress for Nobuta, so be ready.”
And with a laugh, Shuji left the rooftop. When he heard how the elevator slid down soundlessly he felt it too, the insecurities. Of course a lot will change, Nobuta’s life will change but right now she needs them and Shuji knew how important it was.
~Nobuta~
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every girl dreamed of the day when she would wear a beautiful white dress and give her heart and life to the man she loved. Sometimes Nobuta thought about it too, but recently she thought about it often. She nicely declined her mother’s proposition to accompany her and help her choose the dress. This important choice she can trust only to two people in whole world, but now she started doubting it. She felt nervous, looking in the big mirror at her reflection with a white dress with a big fluffy lacy skirt and a lot of sparkling stones, they called it “princess style” and Akira chose it himself. She felt like a big cake and you just have to put a little bit of cream on her head and the picture would be complete. She sighed looking at herself when heard her friends’ conversation, who were standing near her changing room.
“What did you give to her?” Shuji raised his voice. Nobuta was sure he has that little frown between his eyebrows.
“Because she must be like a princess!” came the stubborn answer. “And she needs a crown too, with lots of diamonds. Every princess must have it. I will buy it for her.”
“NO!” Shuji’s and Nobuta’s voices were heard at the same time.
She opened the curtain and went to her friends. Shuji looked at her dress, then at her face, licked his lips nervously and left the room fast.
Silence.
“You look beautiful.” Akira started first. Nobuta just sighed and didn’t answer.
Silence.
“Nothing will change.”
Her eyes were so serious and she saw how Akira tried to look somewhere else, but she touched his sleeves and said, “I’ll be here.”
Shuji returned with another dress. Elegant and simpler and when Nobuta wore it, she understood that she was right with her decision. She gently touched the fabric with her finger and turned around to her friends, but they already were near the shoes shelf arguing about which one to choose. Shuji took a pair and Akira hugged him exclaiming that he is the king of shoes, and Shuji tried to free himself while Akira hugged him even tighter.
Sometimes she wondered how long her friend will suffer alone, bearing this pain and how long her other friend would walk around in circles absolutely lost.
They chose a dress, a pair of shoes and everything that Shuji said she needed. Shuji looked contently at his choice and Akira winked with a smile.
Afterwards they were sitting in a cozy, little café eating and talking about different things that happened that day. Akira made pasta from Nobuta’s recipe and let his secretary eat it. The poor girl started crying, he had added to much pepper. Nobuta told them about her funny assistant who always stepped on her feet. But then she noticed that Shuji was silent. He smiled and laughed with them, but didn’t tell any story. Akira gave Shuji more fries, and Shuji just obediently opened his mouth. Akira’s hand was always on his shoulder, like warming him.
She sipped her Earl grey tea and wondered if Shuji ever noticed Akira’s feelings for him or maybe he never even suspected anything?
~Shuji~
Life is not one thing after another. It's the same damn thing over and over!
Irritated? No! Enraged! This was the only way Shuji could describe his feelings, he pushed the door with a loud bang in the same apartment, that he already knew by heart and saw the face of that hopeless guy who was sitting and playing his guitar, pretending that he didn't understand anything and even dared to raise his eyebrow at Shuji's violence towards the poor door.
“You did it again!” Shuji didn't even try to hide how upset and irritated he was.
Natsu pursed his lips and let his finger touch the guitar strings, making a few painful sounds. Shuji had a feeling that Natsu played straight at his open nerves and he had this faraway look in his eyes that drove Shuji to despair.
“Have you lost your mind?! How could you act like this with the producer, were you drunk again? Just tell me!” Shuji was shouting already, but he looked at the other man's brown orbs and he wasn’t sure if Natsu was even listening.
All these months it was a race, every day, when Shuji tried to grab as many opportunities as he could. If Shuji had any illusions, when he met Natsu everything was gone. That was just sex, because Natsu wanted to make Shuji shut up and nothing else. The bitter smile played at Shuji's lips. He didn't understand why he was here, why he still wanted to help Natsu. These words that he threw at the other's face, he did it so many times, trying to explain, but everything felt pointless, and Shuji was tired. He couldn't fight alone. If Natsu decide to bury his talent and his life, who was Shuji to stop him. Shuji just breathed heavily.
“I don’t understand you! I don’t understand you at all! This is your life! You are destroying it with your own hands!” his voice was tired, he saw how Natsu looked at him and he already knew what would follow.
Natsu stood at his feet, he looked from half closed eyes, lazily placed the guitar on the couch, took a few steps and then he was kissing Shuji, gently, slowly, like he was asking for forgiveness, his hand at other's nape, playing with the soft hair. Shuji closed his eyes. The kiss was bitter for him, and he remembered so much, the same kisses with the same meaning and always the same scenario again and again. He felt how Natsu embraced him, caressing his back carefully, while his lips trailed his long neck and in this moment something snapped in Shuji. He opened his eyes and felt suffocated.
Shuji pushed Natsu, the other looked surprised, eyes wide open and so vulnerable, like Shuji had just hit him or done something even worse. Natsu eyes were so dark and expressive in his handsome face.
“So that’s true, you were drunk?” - not a question, but statement.
“This is my life, you said it yourself,” - his lips swollen, voice hoarse. Natsu never talked provokingly or daringly, he was always calm and he decided everything for himself.
A bitter chuckle left Shuji lips and his words sounded harsh. He stabbed with every phrase, because he had decided to.
“It is. You can dress like you want and forget about other people and your success. You can spend all your life miserably pitying yourself, that’s your right. But I’m done with you.”
Shuji looked at dark eyes and maybe it was just his imagination or he really hurt Natsu, but it was his aim. He was near the door, when he threw the last phrase:
“I begged them to listen to you again. Next Friday and you better wear a clean shirt.”
The door closed and Shuji left, feeling empty, like always.
----> part 2