Fic: Leavenworth, SGA, NC-17, McKay/Sheppard (2/2)

Jan 19, 2006 20:13


Leavenworth Part 2. You can find the headers and part 1 here.

****** )

mckay/sheppard, sga, fic

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margueritem January 20 2006, 01:58:11 UTC
"Not a good time to ask that question Rodney."

In this kind of sentence, shouldn't there be a comma before Rodney?

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amireal January 20 2006, 02:01:31 UTC
It's a little bit of an either or.

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margueritem January 20 2006, 02:04:26 UTC
Is it? Well, English isn't my native language and I don't have a grammar book.

Still, I need to point this one out, too, even if it's of the same kind :

"I'm sorry gentlemen,"

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(The comment has been removed)

margueritem January 20 2006, 06:41:30 UTC
I agree with you on one point : amireal writes well and this story is an example of her talent.

I'm surprised at the other points you make.

making them insecure and anxious about it [...] is a kindness to nobody.

Amireal, is my nitpicking making you insecure or anxious? I would be sorry if any of my comments had that effect. I did express regret in this comment and in this reply, you told me it is better to put all comments in just one reply and said you had no problem with "sorting through what I agree and disagree with". At this point, you have not expressed a negative reaction to my critique itself, merely the way it was delivered ( ... )

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margueritem January 20 2006, 02:23:27 UTC
You sure? It looks wrong to me. Wrooooong.

Particulary here :

Jesus he really wants Carson back.

*sniffles* English is weird. It's like the special child, while German is the genius one.

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fairestcat January 20 2006, 02:32:38 UTC
Yes there are a couple missed commas here. Even I can't catch every error in 13,000 words.

That said, German has NO moral high ground grammar and punctuation-wise and some of the things it does to poor, innocent clauses are just plain cruel.

Also, these would really be easier to read and follow up on if they were all together in one comment instead of all in individual ones.

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margueritem January 20 2006, 02:40:04 UTC
Oh, I wasn't stating a fact when I said that German is superior to English (as in : what I say is true! Bow before me and my big brain!); I was merely expressing my opinion, as I'm right now learning German and I love how at this moment it's all very logical.

My main language is French (and French is evil for reason of its own).

I should have made only one comment, but I comment as I read. :( Sorry.

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fairestcat January 20 2006, 03:01:42 UTC
Just a suggestion? When i find myself wanting to comment on specific portions of a fic as I read it, I open a comment window and add leave it open as I read, scrolling back and forth, so I can add things to it as I find them and then hit "post comment' just the once when I'm finished with everything.

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margueritem January 20 2006, 03:18:25 UTC
*resolves to learn from her mistakes* :)

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amireal February 24 2006, 08:51:05 UTC
Ditto.

So has rightfully pointed out that I have been dragging my feet, avoiding comging back here and been really annoying resentful without talking to you first ( ... )

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margueritem February 28 2006, 20:05:48 UTC
Sorry for replying so late. I always give myself some time before replying to (possibly) emotional situations - a day usually. And then, RL happened, but here I am finally ( ... )

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amireal February 24 2006, 08:51:22 UTC
that unknown tag is fledge, damnit.

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fairestcat January 20 2006, 13:30:27 UTC
I learned French and German simultaneously. I'm pretty sure it permanently warped my brain.

And I know you were joking, and I hope it was clear that i was joking back, it's just that I tend to bridle a bit at anything that smacks of "my language is superior to your language" because that way lay only tears and obscure linguist jokes *g*

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oceana_ January 20 2006, 12:16:00 UTC
That said, German has NO moral high ground grammar and punctuation-wise and some of the things it does to poor, innocent clauses are just plain cruel.
Actually, it does. German has (or did have until the completely idiotic grammar reform) very strict rules about punctuation, especially regarding commas. Compared to the somewhat lax attitute of the english grammar towards commas (note how lax does not mean you can disregard the rules), it is certainly a bit more stringent. So, if that's what you mean by moral high ground grammar, it's all there. Though personally, I'm having trouble understanding how any laguage can be morally superior to another, but I'm guessing there's some personal history between you and german that makes you say so.

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fairestcat January 20 2006, 13:26:29 UTC
Mostly, I was joking. Really.

Which I thought was clear in the exaggeration of "poor, innocent clauses" and "just plain cruel."

I actually rather like German, although mine is extremely rusty these days. However, it has just as many illogical quirks as any other language. One of the things I always found amusing but also just a wee bit cracked about German is the whole nested clauses thing with excess verbs at the end of the sentence. It's all internally logical and such, but it's definitely an occasionally-awkward lingual quirk.

Also, I never said anything about not obeying US comma rules, if you look, the legitimate comma errors that have been pointed out have all been fixed. I freely admit that I didn't catch every error in the 13,000 word fic on my initial run and for various reasons my second run ended up not happening so a few more mistakes than usual slipped through.

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