..boulevard of broken dreams..
..If I feel all this now, what will happen when I actually fall in love with somebody and they break my heart..
I think I'm destined to be lonely because what if I am asking too much from somebody to actually care about me? What if nobody will ever be able to love me that I'm just one of those girls. One of those girls that they add to their list and attach a number to and write off completely. I'll always be the one who isn't pretty enough, smart enough, thick enough, ditzy enough, doesn't put out enough, the one who always asks too much, I'll just be the average one that all guys think of as a friend. I'll never be the one that guys will point to and say that's her. And that's all I want is somebody to actually want to be with me and mean it and doesn't give up on me when the going gets tough but it's high school so why would I expect anything of the sort. Relationships don't mean a thing, feelings don't mean a thing. The thing is I knew that all along but for some reason I thought that when I let my walls down it would be different. That I wouldn't make the same mistake that every other girl made but I'm just like them, I made the mistake. But I learned from this, don't let your walls down for anybody because in the end all you do is hurt. I'm done hurting though, I don't mean a thing to him so I'm done allowing him to mean a thing to me. They can't hurt you unless they mean something. So I'm done because hurt is over-rated and so is he. Everyone is right I deserve so much better and hopefully somewhere out there, there will be somebody that loves me for me. If feelings can change in a millisecond for someone than they were never true, so once again I am right about it all. It's time to shut the book on this lost cause because feeling like this does no one good. In reality it's all one big game and it's time that I master the skill of not caring..
Everyone's true colors shine through in the end..
In other news tomorrow The Notebook is out on DVD and Tara will be spending a lovely evening of viewing and bawling at it with a little mingling of the chem book. Need to go work on the lovely homework of the evening and keep up the positive thoughts that I won in this situation. <33 xoxo
I think I'm destined to be lonely because what if I am asking too much from somebody to actually care about me? What if nobody will ever be able to love me that I'm just one of those girls. One of those girls that they add to their list and attach a number to and write off completely. I'll always be the one who isn't pretty enough, smart enough, thick enough, ditzy enough, doesn't put out enough, the one who always asks too much, I'll just be the average one that all guys think of as a friend. I'll never be the one that guys will point to and say that's her. And that's all I want is somebody to actually want to be with me and mean it and doesn't give up on me when the going gets tough but it's high school so why would I expect anything of the sort. Relationships don't mean a thing, feelings don't mean a thing. The thing is I knew that all along but for some reason I thought that when I let my walls down it would be different. That I wouldn't make the same mistake that every other girl made but I'm just like them, I made the mistake. But I learned from this, don't let your walls down for anybody because in the end all you do is hurt. I'm done hurting though, I don't mean a thing to him so I'm done allowing him to mean a thing to me. They can't hurt you unless they mean something. So I'm done because hurt is over-rated and so is he. Everyone is right I deserve so much better and hopefully somewhere out there, there will be somebody that loves me for me. If feelings can change in a millisecond for someone than they were never true, so once again I am right about it all. It's time to shut the book on this lost cause because feeling like this does no one good. In reality it's all one big game and it's time that I master the skill of not caring..
Everyone's true colors shine through in the end..
In other news tomorrow The Notebook is out on DVD and Tara will be spending a lovely evening of viewing and bawling at it with a little mingling of the chem book. Need to go work on the lovely homework of the evening and keep up the positive thoughts that I won in this situation. <33 xoxo