A mouthful of unspoken words.
(Hey, guys. It's been forever, I know.)
If you could recall those times where you were relentlessly kicking at yourself for something that isn't entirely your fault, I'd like for you to put the fake pity aside and just feel me. This summer, in reality, has been another rude awakening. I'm still facing the fact that my grandpa is gone. My family is still in its early stages of coping with the loss, but it is indeed the biggest tragedy that's happened to us. Oh God, I'm tearing up. :(
As a coping mechanism, I've just been trying to work as much as I can as an attempt to escape from problems but to those of you who have worked retail, it's never a steady paycheck and the hours are fickle every week. But YAYYY, PAYCHECK = MONEY, RIGHT?!
not.
The thing is, Maricopa is a good 40 minute drive from my work (in Chandler) and it's a small good for nothing town away from EVERYTHING. Instead of spoiling myself silly I've just been spending my money on gas to get places. My boyfriend lives an hour away in Mesa and I'm on the complete other side of town from my high school buddies too so I'm totally S.O.L in that aspect. Ahhh and now I've finally gotten a glimpse of "the real world."
I now can emphasize the phrase "work is tiring" and the times where you can't party or go anywhere due to work early the next day or MORE responsibilities. Speaking of a social life;
I did DJ at my boyfriends party on Saturday, where I was the only complertely sober person there. Lemme tell ya... that was interesting.
I've been sober (but by responsible choice) since I drive a long ways merely to go out and stuff. and AZ has the most retarded and arrogant cops... as well as some of the country's strictest DUI laws. (Plus I've gotten in too much trouble this yr alone) so meh. T_T I hate my luck with triming! Plus distance drives me away from raving, partying, and all that in general so I've pretty much been keeping it low key now. I fucking hate how this summer has been more of a maturity chapter rather than one to recklessly party and mingle every day (aka... every summer I've ever had except for this one).
On a lighter note, t'was me and Geoff's six month anniversary. We had a blast together and words can't explain how lucky I got. It's like he came walking out of my dream and into my life. I can honestly say I love him and he is the best boyfriend I have ever had.