an emotional night
Tonight was emotional.
I can't explain how the tears from tonight turned out to be so healthy; but they did. I think they were more of a break through. Tonight left me with a sense of relief, pain for others, and maturity. These three things grew tonight between a special friendship of 3 girls and myself.
After work I recieved a call from my friend and she was bawling. Now at the sound of her tears I couldn't think of what to say. I had no comment to make them go away or change how she felt. She was on her way over and as she drove the 10 minutes that passed left me time to think of what I wanted to say to her when she got here.I wanted the words to be comforting and helpful. My mind was running and it never found the finish. She arrived and I went out to her car where we sat for the next hour. She cried as I sat trying to console her. She sobbed as I tried to think of what to say. She asked questions that I wasn't sure how to answer. The only thing I knew for certain was that she hurting which I knew was wrong and it made me hurt. While we talked we both got phone calls from our other mutual best friend. She was crying, too. This was not turning out to be a good day. We left my house and headed over to hers. I think at first she was upset that we were together and she needed someone and we weren't there for her right away, and I felt bad and I never want her to feel that way again. Now I think she knows how much we care and she can't ever doubt that again! We got there and we saw her tears. Her tears were from someone who has done nothing but cause her pain lately. He's not healthy! It's time for her to be selfish and think of what she needs and not what he wants when it's convenient. If he was truly a good person and cared he could realize what she needs and would do that, but no. We talked for a while about everything... I felt so horrible. Two of my best friends were in so much pain and so hurt by people and their situations and I can't do anythig about it. I feel like things are out of my control and I don't want them to be. I want to go up to these people and smack them and tell them it's not okay and that it's not right what they are doing to two people that I love more than anything in the world. Sometimes I want to try and do anything that will have some type of impact or reaction on them so they can wake up see it (what's reallly going on); but I can't or they don't see it. Are they stupid?,,,, is what I think. Are we really just to smart for our ages? How do we have so much knowlegde and "adults" don't!? I don't understand and I don't think I ever will. I'm really mad. I'm upset. I don't know what to do. I want to help them but I don't know the answers and it's just frustrating!
But after all the talking and crying and laughing and the feeling completely lame and retarded... things started to feel better. Things between us were becoming resolved and I think that tongiht is one of those nights... one of those night that you see in "Now and Then" and you see between true friends. It was nice and I know I could never ask for better friends!
Girls you know who you are and I want to dedicated this and my friendship to you! I love you both and I am so sorry for what's happened! xoxoxo
I can't explain how the tears from tonight turned out to be so healthy; but they did. I think they were more of a break through. Tonight left me with a sense of relief, pain for others, and maturity. These three things grew tonight between a special friendship of 3 girls and myself.
After work I recieved a call from my friend and she was bawling. Now at the sound of her tears I couldn't think of what to say. I had no comment to make them go away or change how she felt. She was on her way over and as she drove the 10 minutes that passed left me time to think of what I wanted to say to her when she got here.I wanted the words to be comforting and helpful. My mind was running and it never found the finish. She arrived and I went out to her car where we sat for the next hour. She cried as I sat trying to console her. She sobbed as I tried to think of what to say. She asked questions that I wasn't sure how to answer. The only thing I knew for certain was that she hurting which I knew was wrong and it made me hurt. While we talked we both got phone calls from our other mutual best friend. She was crying, too. This was not turning out to be a good day. We left my house and headed over to hers. I think at first she was upset that we were together and she needed someone and we weren't there for her right away, and I felt bad and I never want her to feel that way again. Now I think she knows how much we care and she can't ever doubt that again! We got there and we saw her tears. Her tears were from someone who has done nothing but cause her pain lately. He's not healthy! It's time for her to be selfish and think of what she needs and not what he wants when it's convenient. If he was truly a good person and cared he could realize what she needs and would do that, but no. We talked for a while about everything... I felt so horrible. Two of my best friends were in so much pain and so hurt by people and their situations and I can't do anythig about it. I feel like things are out of my control and I don't want them to be. I want to go up to these people and smack them and tell them it's not okay and that it's not right what they are doing to two people that I love more than anything in the world. Sometimes I want to try and do anything that will have some type of impact or reaction on them so they can wake up see it (what's reallly going on); but I can't or they don't see it. Are they stupid?,,,, is what I think. Are we really just to smart for our ages? How do we have so much knowlegde and "adults" don't!? I don't understand and I don't think I ever will. I'm really mad. I'm upset. I don't know what to do. I want to help them but I don't know the answers and it's just frustrating!
But after all the talking and crying and laughing and the feeling completely lame and retarded... things started to feel better. Things between us were becoming resolved and I think that tongiht is one of those nights... one of those night that you see in "Now and Then" and you see between true friends. It was nice and I know I could never ask for better friends!
Girls you know who you are and I want to dedicated this and my friendship to you! I love you both and I am so sorry for what's happened! xoxoxo