Chapter six
Contrary to popular belief, though, on Monday, Paula proved everyone wrong, including me, showing a great sense of style and beauty. Sure, she was rough around the edges and a rookie, but the styling team was nice enough to give her tips… even if some were anything but polite, but let’s not go there.
She had a unique style and did things with fabric and colors I couldn’t imagine anyone, much less her, could. Paula still couldn’t sew by hand; but was catching on on how to use a sewing machine and only stung her fingers four times.
She did the make-up exactly as told and asked for, took some of the “divas” bullshit in a rather calm way and cheerfully, and steadily, began to learn her first ever successful skill.
Even Yakko seemed somewhat impressed and actually let her powder Dot’s face and curl her lashes. Coming from a guy who attacked a previous artist with a huge mallet, just because they accidentally poked Dot in the eye with mascara, it was a lot!
I hung out with her during breaks, in-between scenes on set, afterwards, and things couldn’t seem to go nicer. It had just been a week when I found out that she was, in fact, living in her car and she invited me to check it out.
“…so, parents outta the question?” I asked her, scooping inside, though I was impressed. Her backseat was turned into a tiny bed, she had a radio inside and a small TV, her clothes were in a huge briefcase on top of the back-seat. At the front, Paula had saved a few packs of chips and a can of Pepsi -I guess, she did fairly alright, with such a limited condition. Still, one would ponder… a lot of things, but firstly, let me say, the thought of her living in some old piece of junk made me uneasy. She was making an alright pay now, but hardly enough for an actual place and I honestly had no clue where to put her. We really didn’t have room in the tower and I felt very, very ashamed.
“Oh, I changed my cell number, so they can’t reach me. Don’t really wanna talk to them.” Paula claimed, then grinned “Look! I even managed to clean the windows and I sealed the baggage trunk shut; no one’s getting in or out. Life’s just going awesome! I love this job and I can’t thank Rose enough for helping me get it!”
“Faboo! But, you can’t stay here, what if -“
“I even made a friend, well, sorta… this very pretty blonde girl gave me some of the clothes she doesn’t use.” Copycat gestured to her current outfit; a long-sleeved purple top and a wavy black skirt “AND Plotz said, I can actually dub some of the voices again, too. And-“
“Wait, too much information, too fast!” I paused, raising my hand, while Paula laughed:
“Sorry little buddy!”
“I’m glad you made a friend… and, uh, you do other voices on Animaniacs, besides Dot’s?” I questioned, curious. Paula just nod her head and went on:
“AND they’re asking me to dub in that ninja turtle show, for a few episodes. Apparently one of the turtles has throat flu or something… he’ll be ok in no time, but I’m just so happy, they’re paying me awesomely, too!”
“Uhm, Paula… wait!!” I had to grasp my head, she was talking too fast and it was all too much new information. She zipped her lips, while I took a breath to comment:
“That’s… a nice outfit-“
“Oh, thank yo-“
“I said, please wait!” I gave her a pained expression, I was glad she was happy and talkative, but I had too much comments and questions and we could stay there for days without actually getting to any of my points “Who’d ya make friends with? And who do you dub on our show?”
“I…. think her name was Katie. And when I said friends, I meant… just a nice person, we didn’t share secrets, go to the mall or even exchange last names. She just let me have them, so… I did! We’re the same size so they fit fine.” Paula answered “As for your other question-“
“You mean Katie Ka-Boom? But she’s nuts! I thought she’d kill you if you ever got near her!” I blurted out, but quite honestly, was afraid of the day Katie and Paula would meet. Copycat seemed a bit uneasy, then twitched her fingers around like little worms, before finally answering in a warm, yet shy note:
“…Wakko, Katie’s mute.”
“….huh?”
“She was born deaf and… she CAN speak a little, but… not enough to actually… y’know, scream and give out a proper scene. I’M her voice… we never met before, but… yeah, those screams, that’s me, hon. And, uhm… sometimes, they ask me to sing on Minerva’s behalf, but she doesn’t do it much, or when an extra female has to sing a song, me again…. That answer your questions?” Paula spoke carefully, while I blinked at her:
“….oh.”
I guess that explained a lot. I flirted with Katie all the time and she always ignored me; guess everything does have a reason behind it.
“They just wanted a pretty, normal-looking teenage girl and she fit. Voicing someone isn’t that big of a deal.” Copycat finished off, seeming uneasy. I decided to switch from the subject and go on with the questions:
“D’ya dub anyone else? Like Rita?”
“Oh no, Rita sings amazing! Why would I?? But they let me sing in choruses and be additional voices, too. That’s pretty much it. I’m gonna get even more money and then I’m gonna-“
“Which turtle?” I was still curious. I was never much of a fan, but thanks to Buster and Plucky always mocking the show, I had seen some of it. Plus, their videogames were usually good.
“I…. think his name is Donatello. Not sure. One with a purple hair-band…thingy….uh, they’re not exactly pleased with me, since they say I’m giving him too much attitude and making him resemble Raphael. Working on being the “nice and sweet” guy.” Paula smiled, while I pondered:
“….who’s Raphael?”
“I have no idea! I can’t even tell them apart, if it weren’t for the head-bands… but even with them, I can’t remember which color is who! It’s all very confusing. They’re all pretty stuck up and rude, though, well, besides for this one guy, who seem very hyper and keeps yelling “Kallabunga”… I think he’s a surfer. He offered me pizza once.” Copycat shrugged “The other two, they’re huge jerks, but you get by. I never really met that… purple one I’m voicing, but he did send me an e-mail to say thanks for helping him out.”
“Pizza sounds good…” my mind trailed off, while the brunette girl just laughed:
“Not the one he offered… it had everything you can think of, besides an actual decent topping. Ok, that’s a lie, it did have some ham and cheese… but there were jellybeans, and bananas, and fried pickles, a whole ton of peanut butter and… I think, for some reason, there was chocolate in it, or maybe it was just some type of sauce, I’m not sure….”
I still thought that if it were me, I’d at least taste it, since now I wondered if that sort of combination would be good. Noticing my expression, Paula laughed:
“But I’m sure that sounds delicious to you, huh?”
“Can you maybe pick up a piece for me next time he offers?” was my response and she agreed, laughing even louder:
“If he does offer, I hope I didn’t offend him… I told him I was allergic to peanuts…but I think he might be ok, he seemed nice…or just takes too much sugar in his diet…”
It was nice to hear her laugh and see her smile; even if her face was, as always smudged with the worst type of make-up, it looked so sweet when she did sincerely smile. I hadn’t noticed before how pretty her happiness could be.
I almost wanted to kick myself, but I had to ask and get to the point. I hated doing that, since it’d probably make her go yellow and squirm, as always, but I just had to:
“…did Martin look for you, at all? Did he at least try and send your stuff back?”
Though her smile did fade, she seemed unbothered… however, a shade of worry flashed over her features:
“Different number, remember? But… what if he sold them! Or threw them away? Shit, man! I should’ve at least packed before I rushed outta there!”
“No one’s seen Steph around here, for weeks! You can go there and pick it up, I’ll help, I’ll-“
“Good riddance.” Paula spewed with clear hatred “I hope she gets the plague and dies a rotting, flesh melting death!”
“…Okay.” I shrugged, since I knew that was far from possible. The plague hasn’t been around for a long time, `least, that’s what Yakko taught me. Most likely, since me and Dot went around town and spread so many lies and rumors about her, she fled the country, since no one wanted to be around her anymore. My sis came up with most of them, she said girls knew how to hurt other girls best. I just wanted to tell everyone she was secretly fat, but Dot handled it much better.
She got her voice back, too, you know. It’s still not recommended for her to sing much, but she’s the same ole Dot once more. We were all happy for her; everyone was, since everyone genuinely loved Dot. Paula herself seemed pleased to a surprising extent, which she once explained:
“I felt very guilty when I dubbed her voice, so I’m glad I’ll never, ever do that again. No one can replace Dot, or her sound! I felt like mold. ”
“As for Martin, I don’t wanna go there and face him… I’m… scared.” Paula admitted “I don’t know why, but I am and… fine, he can burn, sell, trash my stuff and laugh behind my back with whoever he wants, just as long as I don’t have to see him…”
“Ok!” I brightened up a bit, an idea came to mind “I’ll go there, I can sneak in and I’ll get your stuff for ya. No prob!” it felt like the least I could do, like I said before… I was a comfort to her, but it was my brother who did everything when it counted.
Her smile returned and for a second, I thought she was gonna hug me again. That didn’t happen, apparently, her shyness had come back, job or no job, but she did tell me:
“You’re the best! Will you, really?”
“Sure, sure! Uhm, I might need some help with the heavy stuff, but… hey, I have a bag with all sorts of stuff to help me lift. It’ll be right back to you before you even know it.” I grinned proudly, sticking my tongue out. Finally, a chance to feel useful in this whole messy story.
“Thank you!! If there’s anything I can do to return the favor, just lemme know!” Copycat beamed at me, while I considered:
“Weeeeeelll…. Couple of things, really…”
“All ears, little man.”
“Could ya… tell me where to drop the stuff off? `Cause it’d just stink if I left it somewhere and it got… lost, or stolen…” I trailed off, hoping she’d catch my hint. She didn’t.
“Uhm, right here by my car is fine. I’ll give you the keys, just stick `em inside an-“
“I don’ want you livin’ in a car!!” I finally blurted out “I can’t believe you have, for a week, even! I mean, you look so clean, but-“
“Why thank you!” she flushed slightly, but I rumbled at her:
“That wasn’ a compliment, you also look tired, and yellow and too thin. And where do you even clean yourself up, or shower or… uhm… y’know!”
“…well you try sleeping in a backseat and see how healthy you’ll look!” Paula frowned, offended, then went on “I use public bathrooms, for your information, and I can wash my hands and face there, also, do my make-up. Change clothes inside here, I make sure to cover the car top when I do….”
“What about showers?? I know you’re doin’ great at all these jobs, but have you really not… for a week?” that seemed disgusting, then I looked at her hair “And your hair, it’s perfectly clean! Do you wash it in bathrooms, too?”
“…no! I shower two times a day, I just, eh… well, I “borrow” Chicken Boo’s…. window every now and then and… well, use her shower. AND I brush my teeth after every meal, I can do that in the car, y’know, I just-“
“Don’t wanna know!! That’s gross! And illegal and ….that’s just not right…” I shook my head at her, then froze for a second “…you called Boo a “she”…”
“Well she’s an asshole! Just cause she’s a lesbian doesn’t mean that everyone wants her and that she has to go around saying she’d never, ever date me, how ugly I am, how no one would sleep with such a hideous dyke, how-“
“…Boo’s a girl?”
“Uhm… Wakko… isn’t it obvious? “You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you’re not a man, you’re a chicken, Boo…” ….dude, your show has a lot more than a few hidden “innuendo” jokes…” suddenly, Paula clasped her mouth shut “Don’t ever tell your brother I swore in front of you. He’ll kill me. He’ll have a rain of anvils fall on my head faster than you can say “aardvark”.”
I shook it off, too much, too much for just one day! And I was barely ten years old!!
“You can’t break into someone’s house and use their shower, that’s illegal! H-…s-…. The chicken can have you arrested!”
“….it’s not like Boo uses it, chickens never go under a shower, it’s just there, for show, and-“
“Not. Right. Look, just… please, you wanna get cleaned up… come to the tower anytime, alright? Why didn’ you even ask me??” I crossed my arms, as she pat the front seat, gesturing for me to sit closer to her:
“….I thought it’d be rude.”
“This is ten times ruder, no matter what anyone’s told you!” angered, I turned my head away and stared out the window “You’ll… just…”
“Well what can I do?” Copycat seemed saddened “I still can’t afford a place…”
“Leave this stupid car and find ANYTHIN’, anythin’ at all!” I frowned, but she remained stubborn:
“Nope, I won’t.”
Feeling myself getting furious, I half-hissed:
“Fine. `Least come to the tower and don’t go sneaking in people’s houses or public bathrooms… `least promise that, or I’ll get really mad and I won’ even try to get your stuff back…”
“Ok, ok….uhmm… but that’d just be weird!” Paula backed off, while I yelled:
“Weird?? You’re living in a car!”
She went silent, apparently frightened off by me screaming at her. I quickly moved closer and raised my hands up, toning my voice down:
“I’m sorry! But if I lived in a car, wouldn’t you get angry??”
“I’d beat you senseless with your awesome red cap.” Copycat pointed out, seeming relaxed for the moment “I just, it’s… YOUR house. You’re my friend and -“
“Which is why you shoulda came to me first. Aren’t we friends? I felt like all this time I’ve just been following you around like a pet so you can use me as a tissue. Can’t you ask me for one tiny favor, ever?”
Looking away, her cheeks flushed and she began pulling on her hair, nervously. Finally, she spoke up:
“I… never really had a friend before. I thought I did, I had people around at school, we hung out, had nights out, everything… but no one’s cared, like you do and… you’re my only friend. I’m too… embarrassed to ask anything. I feel like I don’t even deserve you caring 10%!”
I stared at her, feeling at a loss of words myself. Looking down and locking my hands together, all I could say was:
“Oh…”
“Y-yeah…”
It took several minutes before we could finally look at each other, eye to eye, and resume talking:
“But… you’ll still come, right? I’ll give you signs! We can make up our own signal system, I’ll keep Yakko away from the tower and you can come in and clean up and everything… you won’t have to worry about him, at all! And Dot… well… you like `er, right?... I mean, she doesn’ like you THAT much, but she won’ mind…she’s really nice and when you get to know her-“
“She helped me with a few outfits yesterday. She’s a sweetie.” Paula gave me a smile, then nod her head “Alright, if you insist… just… call me up, whenever the tower’s empty. I promise, I won’t do anything illegal again…”
“Promise?”
“Promise! Would I lie to you?” she arched an eyebrow, while I honestly replied:
“Yep.”
Copycat frowned, but flicked the side of my hat playfully anyway. We both knew she lied to me all the time, but I believed that she would do what I asked of her, so I grinned once more.
“….still stickin’ to the car, though?”
“Until I collect enough money, and I will.” Paula said, completely sure of herself “I mean, those turtle people… are offering a huge stash just for a few episodes! They must really be famous….plus, since they found out I can imitate this Dona…uhm…purple dude, I’m getting offers left and right! Disney won’t stop asking me to sing for some of their shows and movies. They give tons of cash, too. Plus, this styling gig… so far, I’m on a newbie salary, but if I learn to do it well enough, cha-ching, babes.”
“I dunno, Paula… what if someone… sleeping in your car, what if someone hurts you, here?” I reached a hand out to her, which she didn’t seem to notice:
“It’s fine. I’ll…. Camouflage it… make it all dirty and yucky, so no one will wanna come near it.” She assured me, that did seem like a good plan. I was still worried, though.
Speaking of plans, I remembered my own. Keeping her mind and putty heart off my brother’s womanizing ways:
“Say, there’s another thing I want ya to do for me!”
“What?”
“C’mon!” I grabbed her by the hand and dragged her outside of the vehicle so quickly, she barely had time to lock it up and turn on its siren. I practically ran with her trough Burbank, well, I ran and she stumbled, pretty much wiping the streets with her new pair of purple shoes:
“…thanks, I always wanted a pair with no bottom lining. And heels, who needs heels? Holes are in, baby…”
“Hey miss!” ignoring my friend, I stopped a by-passing pretty lady and waved her over “Helloooo nurse!”
The lady turned around, I think she recognized me, but she didn’t seem to gush or act bothered; if anything, she seemed confused:
“Can I help you?”
She was a tall grey wolf with long wavy hair and a very curly tail, nice body, bright green eyes and matching green clothes. Paula stared at us both, apparently creeped out by the thought that I was gonna set her up again:
“Don’t YOU DARE!” the brunette hissed, but I played deaf once more:
“S’cuse me, will it be ok if I took a picture with ya?”
“W-what…?” the wolf girl stared at me, now looking bothered. I felt that I was falling into the “creeper weirdo” zone and tried to smooth it over:
“Yer just so pretty!... I just wanted a picture…” that would’ve worked for Yakko, maybe, but I decided to go for a different direction. Bowing my head down and embracing the image of a shy, innocent little boy, I awaited an expected slap over the face.
Instead, the wolf lady cooed and pat my head:
“Awww, aren’t you sweet! Sure you can! What a cute little boy!”
“Really? Fabooo! Hey, can my friend be in the picture, too?” I pushed Paula next to her, who almost knocked both of them down, then pretty much shrieked:
“What the crud are you doing??”
“I really, really wanted a picture of my friend, then I saw you, so… if it’s ok… I’ll take your guys picture, then she can take one of us two.” I bargained with the wolf-lady, who seemed puzzled:
“Uhm…alright?”
“Cheese!” pulling out a tiny camera out of my gag-bag, I shifted my head to the side “Paula, smile, and stop looking like you’re about to murder the nice lady… be happy, doncha like `er?”
Paula blushed a crimson red, while the wolf-lady seemed even more confused, but kept to herself.
“Hey, what’s your name, lady?” I asked, while Copycat was trying to avoid even looking at the other female
“…Tatyana…” was the answer
“That’s a really nice name! Can you two just get closer together, and help `er out, she’s kinda shy…” I asked, and Tatyana just shrugged, then leaned next to Paula, who seemed like she was about to die. I frowned at her and Copycat finally faced the other girl, leaned closer and forced a smile, although still having no clue what was going on.
“Perfect!” I snapped the picture and Paula rushed far, far away, practically hiding behind me “Oh, now I can take the picture… here, you shoot, Pau…”
After all the snapping was done, we parted ways with Tatyana, who even gave me a small kiss on the cheek, claiming I was the cutest boy she ever saw. Grinning wildly, I hid my camera, however, I still had an angry friend who hardly felt as hostile to me as the pretty grey girl:
“What. Was. That.” Paula hissed, turning me around by the shoulders roughly “Setting me up again??? I DO NOT want another Steph, thank you and I just wish you would stop-“
“No! I won’ even ever see `er again. I just wanted a picture of two super cute girls, I was gonna take yours first, but then I figured, why not make it double?” I lied, but compliments always throw you off. Girls like them, so it’s easy to believe; `sides, I wasn’t EXACTLY lying… I did need TWO cute girls, I just didn’t tell her why.
“Why?” I was hoping she wouldn’t ask, now I HAD to lie:
“…well, I just… wanted a cute picture. She seemed cute. I like hanging pictures on my wall, y’know…”
“Of complete strangers???” Copycat didn’t buy it one bit, but I shrugged:
“You said you’d do me a favor. I wanted your picture and a picture of a very pretty lady next to you, so I can look at you both and think nice things about you… and next time you feel unhappy about how you look, show you that you’re just as pretty as the lady.” I was gonna do that too, but I technically lied again, since that was hardly the reason I wanted that picture.
“….if you wanted something so cute, why didn’t you just take shots of Dot?”
“I see `er everyday, why’d I need a set of pictures? I have a whole bunch of `em in our living room, anyway! And… she hates sharing pictures with other girls, plus… I can’t compare you to my own sister, can I??” lies, lies, lie… Dot never had a problem with sharing photoshoots with anyone. Paula was still hesitant to believe me, then just shrugged her shoulders:
“I give up. You’re one weird cookie, you know that?”
“You’re pretty weird, too.”
“I know, but I don’t ask beautiful people I don’t know to take pictures with my friends…” she muttered, heading back to her car, while I followed, chuckling:
“You should! It’s fun!”
Phase one was complete. Once we got back in the car, I bought us a whole pack of sandwiches and we ate, listening to old rock songs on her radio:
“Yakko’s bein’ a pain…” I pretended to sigh, while Paula looked over to me, immediately:
“What? Why??”
“I didn’ wanna hurt your feelins, but he keeps making me angry. I wish he’d just cut it out, I wish you’d just punch `im!” I started my false tirade, which made her grown even more weary:
“…what is he saying about me? What? How many ugly jokes are there in this world??”
“Tons, comin’ from him, at least… he says you have a crush on me and that you made the entire Steph thing up, everything, Martin, the “no-place to live”… just so you can get in our tower and… uhm… do something to me, but he didn’ tell me what, exactly-“
Paula’s face turned clear read; I never, ever saw her face seem that twisted and scary. Clutching her fists and cracking her knuckles, it almost looked like foam was about to come pouring down her mouth; that didn’t happen, but she screeched in a deep, raspy voice:
“Go on.”
“Uhm…” I wondered if I had taken it too far “H-he says he’d never let me date you, since you’re too ugly, even if I were your age and finds this whole… `eh, everythin’… just disgustin’… also, he tells everyone you take drugs, cause he claims you can’t be THAT pale on your own…”
“Oh that little… is that… he…I’m gonna…”
“I just want him to stop. I dunno why he’s bein’ so nasty. It’s not like `im.” I finished off, but regret everything I had said immediately, since she rushed outside, fuming, blood red, her hair and hands spiraling around her, giving her a look of a clinically insane person:
“Where is he??? I’m gonna brake him in half!! That little freak!! That disgusting, sick, twisted pervert!!”
I quickly followed; I really didn’t want my brother getting beaten up over things he never even said:
“W-wait! He’s my brother, you can’t-“
“Oh, watch me!!!”
“He-he’s just… in love with someone else, that’s all! That’s why he’s sayin’ those things, he doesn’ mean `em!!” I tried to keep up pace with her, but apparently, if she wanted to, she ran very, very fast. Even on high-heels.
“Oh that’s just peachy, isn’t it.” Sparkles flew trough Paula’s eyes as she head over to the breakfast deli, right across our tower, where she knew we all loved going most mornings, to get nice food (and check out cute waitresses, too); but mostly, the food was good.
“It’s… uhhh… Fifi le Fume, he says, she’s the prettiest girl in purple he’d ever seen and-“
Paula stopped dead in her tracks, apparently, it was all too much. She noticed her own purple shirt, touched the streaks in her hair, her eyes seemed to moist… however the embarrassment seemed to overcome her hurt ego and pride, while I gulped, trying to hold her back:
“Please, I’m sorry! Don’ listen to me, I wasn’ bein’ completely honest, he never-“
“Don’t you cover for him anymore!” Copycat threw her hair back, as she always did, standing strong and tall. Entering the café, much to my bad luck, Yakko was there, talking to some girl, I recognized her as Shirley the Loon, from Tiny Toon Adventures. She was giggling about something and Yakko was being… well, Yakko, though I couldn’t say if he was flirting or not. For all I know, they could’ve been laughing at Plucky’s attempts to flirt with Hello Nurse, who, even though she liked him, was rightfully giving him the cold shoulder.
“YOU!” Paula practically screamed, rushing over to Yakko and grabbing him by the neck. Before my brother could say much, she punched him straight in the nose, screaming so loud that everyone turned around to stare:
“YOU TWISTED, DISGUSTING PERVERT! PIG!! WHORE!! HOW DARE YOU, HOW DARE YOU??? YOU THINK I FAKED IT?? JUST BECAUSE YOU’D FUCK ANYTHING THAT WALKS, I FAKED IT TO GET IN YOUR BROTHER’S LOVELY SHIRT???”
Before Yakko could even defend himself, or anyone could do any sort of action, since she was yelling and moving so incredibly fast, Paula punched him once more, this time in the eye, kicked his jaw and threw him aside, ending with:
“I HATE YOU!! I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN AND IF YOU EVER GO BEHIND MY BACK AGAIN, I’LL CHOP YOUR EYES OFF AND MAKE YOU GULP THEM DOWN IN A BOWL OF YOUR OWN SPLATTERED KIDNEY!!”
Turning on her heels, Copycat just walked away, throwing me an un-clarified look:
“I’ll see you later, Wakko, sorry I hurt your brother, but he can’t fill your head with such disgusting thoughts. Call me when he’s not around.” Then left, while I rushed to pick my poor brother up:
“Yakko!! Are you alright???”
“What the….alright, what the Hell was that all about???” he tried to scream, but it came out as a gasping screech. He also forgot how disapproving he was of curse words, apparently, as he tried to get back on his feet “This girl’s nuts!!! What the Hell was she even talking about??? Who walks in and beats up someone for just… what…I’m gonna-“he tried to chase after her, but I held him back:
“It’s not her fault!”
“She’s crazy!! Don’t you ever go near her again, ever, you hear me??”
“Yakko, listen… it’s… I told you, she hates you and you keep making her mad. Of course she’s gonna blow a fuse eventually!” I defended, avoiding my own fault in all of this. Stumbling on top of a chair, my brother tried to adjust his chin, while Shirley awkwardly walked away, turning a light pink from the whole scene. Trying to catch his breath, our family smarty wanted to find reason:
“….nope, she’s nuts. That’s it, no wonder that Martin guy kicked her out. You keep away, and I’m gonna-“
“You made her mad!!”
“With what?? What did I even do??” he wanted to know, but I hardly knew how to explain. An idea struck me, once more:
“….you know Mark, The Mime? He said you said she faked being sick so she could get in our tower, just to come see you. She thinks you’re full of yourself and that you think she’s madly in love with you and when he told her that you said those things… she was about to cry, you didn’t… tell him she was posing, did ya…?” The Mime was gonna get it, but he had it coming. No one calls my friend ugly! He does that everyday, and I’m running out of mallets and anvils…sorry, Mark…
“…what?? I…I never said that!” Yakko’s eyes grew huge, while I just shrugged, as a waitress brought us a huge pack of ice for his face:
“Mark told `er you did and that made `er feel awful. That’s why she punched you…”
“Is this true? That little circus creep said that??” my brother placed the ice on his jaw, then hissed in pain. I looked away, but he was far from thinking clearly at the moment to notice I was lying… usually, he read me like a book… however, once you get your face re-arranged, the stings of someone’s fists can be a distraction.
“That little… I’m gonna kill him…” Yakko finally concluded, then tried to take a deep breath “And her… I KNOW she hates me, I never once thought she liked me, at all… she treats me like dirt all the time! All I tried was to ask her out, now I regret even finding out her name…. I bought this on myself, I should’ve never teased her just because she dubbed Dot’s voice… great… I got beat up by a girl, wait `till it spreads around…”
“….some think she’s a guy.” I tried to comfort him, but that didn’t make him feel better:
“I’m gonna kill Mark, and as for her… I’ll talk things out, and if she DOES turn out to be some crazy person, then you, dear sib-“
“Just leave `er alone, she’s very hurt!” I insisted, while the oldest Warner pointed to his face:
“She’s hurt? Exqueeze me? I just hope I won’t need an eye-patch now…”
“….`s your funeral.” I shrugged, and stood by him, until the swelling came down. Afterwards, I noticed he took a different direction, opposite of our tower, without an explanation. Feeling like a stalker yet again, I followed quietly, knowing full well he was searching for Paula. I knew he’d never hit a girl, but I just hope she wouldn’t end up hitting him again… this wasn’t what I wanted…
My plans never work out. Why is that?? Ugh, this is really unfair…!
It took me a while to catch up to his pace and find him, though. What I saw was him and Copycat, under a chestnut tree, apparently, talking. I hid in a huge pile of grass and observed, this time, if it came to violence, I WAS gonna stop it.
“….it’s not true. That creep might’ve told you some lies, but I never, ever considered something like THAT….” Yakko was talking, while she was leaning on the tree, looking confused:
“….how can you call HIM a creep??”
“He is!! With that white face, what’d you call him?? Little Mime-boy…” Yakko muttered, while Paula’s eyes grew wide with surprise:
“How can you be so horrible?? Your face is just as white!! How can you say that about your own-“
“Look, whatever he said-“
“He’s not a creep!! And you’re a terrible human being… eh… puppy…” Copycat tried to move away, but my brother threw his hands on top of the tree, surrounding her without actually making physical contact, but not allowing her to move:
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were such good buddies…look, as I was trying to-“
“We ARE! And that’s all we are, now will you move your little toothpick hands, I just wanna-“
“…well, I never thought you were anything more, I mean, he’s…. y’know, strange…” Yakko looked away, while Paula blinked at him:
“Excuse me?”
“Let’s just say… I do have proof that your friend Martin doesn’t like girls, he and-“
“WHAT??”
I felt like it was my time to come out and confess, but at this point, Yakko had figured it out:
“We’re not talking about the same person, are we?...”
“….I really hope not…” Paula looked like she was about to lose her lunch “Since I always thought you were a great big brother…”
“…wait. You’re… who ARE you talking about??”
“Uhm… your brother? Who are YOU?” she seemed more than confused, while Yakko now seemed sickish too:
“Wakko?? I was talking about Mark, The Mime! I’d never call any of my siblings a bad name or…ughhh, great… now I need brain-bleach…how’ll I ever get that image off my head? Take off your top, I need something to look at, anything, really….”
“Then go stare at Fifi!” Paula snapped, but then her gaze changed. Puzzled, she turned to him “But… why are you talking about The Mime?”
“Because he spreads nasty rumors? He told you all those things that made you punch my face off today; why would I be talking about Wakko??” my brother stared at her as if she were retarded; by now, I was sure he really did find her crazy. Completely mixed-up, Copycat answered:
“…. Because Wakko told me today?”
“He told you? He told me The Mime said it! Did he… lie to me?” Yakko let his hands fall loose; this wasn’t turning out good for me at all. By the end of it all, everyone would hate me, except maybe for Dot, who’d just say “I told you so”… why do I keep getting myself in trouble?
“…I dunno, maybe… The Mime told him?” Paula tried to cover me up, but mostly, I knew she just didn’t want to believe I was a liar in the first place. I understand why; but I was doing it for a good cause! She’d thank me in the future, when I finally do tell her everything, from top to bottom.
That is, if I survive the night, after my brother corners me and makes me spill my entire autobiography.
“…I’ll have a talk with him tonight.” Knew it. Great. Now I need to figure out even more plans and back-ups… why did I lie in the first place? A lie is like a shred, or a piece of DNA… once you make one, more and more twist around it and continue it, and it seems like it’ll never end….
“Look, no matter what anyone said -it’s not true, I never spoke a word against you and I DO know you hate me. I know you don’t like me. I never went around saying you did, it never crossed my mind that you’d do all that, just to get in our tower, since it took me so much just to keep you in there, anyway. I have no problem with you, I don’t dislike you, and you’re welcome to come visit anytime you want. That’s it. AND I do like you, you know, but it’s obvious you don’t want me, so, just….let’s scratch everything and at least…try and be friends? Or are you gonna break my neck now, just for offering…” he was probably kidding, but seemed weary. Paula’s mind couldn’t process all the things he said that fast, so she just repeated:
“You… like me?”
“Yeah, I kinda… have been, for a while now, but hey, forget about it. Can’t I at least be someone you can be comfortable around? Maybe catch a flick sometime? I’m not asking for a kiss here, or some steamy pink romance, just to get along.” Yakko huffed and ruffled his ears, hoping this would end a lot quicker. With Paula however, things took a lot of time.
“….but Wakko said you thought I was ugly. That you’re dating another girl. I don’t get it, do you… what do you like, I don’t get this, and I’m just… I give up…” Copycat started walking away, while sighing deeply “Sorry I hit you so much, I don’t know or what to believe anymore, but I’m going back to my car and getting some sleep…”
“Wait. I never, ever said anything like that… I always told Wakko you were pretty and cute… alright, something doesn’t add up here…” my brother now seemed more than weary, I could see he was starting to catch on on me, and… I was in trouble, big time, but he went on, anyway “I’m not dating anyone! I’m single at the moment, when I figured I can’t date you, I did have a few relationships, but… I still like you.”
She turned around and stared at him with horror, thinking he was playing a cruel joke on her or, even worse, giving her pity. When you’re Paula Crawford, pity is the thing you hate most:
“…why would Wakko lie?”
“Maybe he misunderstood, maybe he didn’t believe me, maybe it was because when I first saw you I did insult your looks, but… we said some things, we were in a fight, it can happen… oh, by the way, here…” he handed something shiny to her, at first I couldn’t tell what it was, then I recognized it. It was that hideous twitchy lip-ring, which she took with hesitation “You, eh… must’ve dropped it in the shower. Don’t wanna tell you where I had to dig to get it, but…you can still use it, it’s clean, no rust, no nothing…”
Paula went speechless for a moment, before hiding it in her shirt pocket, then blurting out quietly:
“….thank you. I missed it…”
“So… friends?” Yakko tried once more, offering a hand, which Copycat took:
“…a-acquaintances, I guess…”
“Well, better than I expected.” My brother grinned “So, Paulie…” he suddenly felt bubbly again and threw an arm around her small shoulders, walking with her forward “Since we’re leaning towards friendship, how ‘bout we go bowling tonight? I’ll bring Wakko and Dot, too, and you can bring your friends… know any redheads? I’ve been dying to meet a cute redhead…”
Copycat’s face turned dark and she threw his arm off, then gave him a deadly glare:
“No.”
“Aw, well… too bad. But you can bring your friends anyway, though I’m sure I won’t find any of them half as pretty as you are.” There he went again, turning that ole charm. Apparently, my backfired plan… backfired right back, if that makes any sense. And I was considering coming clean, too!
I noticed Paula blush from head to toe and felt like slapping myself over the forehead. Surely, she wouldn’t fall for that!!!
But, she did, and just managed to mutter a:
“I don’t have any friends….” Very quietly, while Yakko took this as his chance to wrap his arm around her once more:
“Well, always a good time to make some. Now you’ll get three…well, I’m not sure if Dot likes you, but you’ll have two, at least.”
As they walked ahead, I stood up from the grass and dust myself off. This was NOT working. What’d I have to do next??
I saw them parting their ways:
“So, bowling, right? I’ll come pick you up, ah… address or something?”
“….I’ll just give you my cell number. And yeah, bowling sounds… fun.” Copycat agreed, slouching a bit, seeming very awkward and embarrassed. Yakko smirked at this and took her hand, giving it a light kiss:
“See ya tonight then, Snow!” before leaving with a huge grin plastered all over his face. He knew he was winning…and YES it was just a game… as I watched Paula drop in the grass behind him, sighing and apparently, swooning, once he was very far off sight, I could tell.
He was winning, but not for long.
And yet, there she was, sitting in that same spot for what felt like hours, just touching her hand and sighing so deeply. I wanted to walk over to her, mess everything up, but remembered…
I was in trouble, so I’d better get to the tower. I’d fix Paula up later, she’ll listen to me.
….I hope.
She had a unique style and did things with fabric and colors I couldn’t imagine anyone, much less her, could. Paula still couldn’t sew by hand; but was catching on on how to use a sewing machine and only stung her fingers four times.
She did the make-up exactly as told and asked for, took some of the “divas” bullshit in a rather calm way and cheerfully, and steadily, began to learn her first ever successful skill.
Even Yakko seemed somewhat impressed and actually let her powder Dot’s face and curl her lashes. Coming from a guy who attacked a previous artist with a huge mallet, just because they accidentally poked Dot in the eye with mascara, it was a lot!
I hung out with her during breaks, in-between scenes on set, afterwards, and things couldn’t seem to go nicer. It had just been a week when I found out that she was, in fact, living in her car and she invited me to check it out.
“…so, parents outta the question?” I asked her, scooping inside, though I was impressed. Her backseat was turned into a tiny bed, she had a radio inside and a small TV, her clothes were in a huge briefcase on top of the back-seat. At the front, Paula had saved a few packs of chips and a can of Pepsi -I guess, she did fairly alright, with such a limited condition. Still, one would ponder… a lot of things, but firstly, let me say, the thought of her living in some old piece of junk made me uneasy. She was making an alright pay now, but hardly enough for an actual place and I honestly had no clue where to put her. We really didn’t have room in the tower and I felt very, very ashamed.
“Oh, I changed my cell number, so they can’t reach me. Don’t really wanna talk to them.” Paula claimed, then grinned “Look! I even managed to clean the windows and I sealed the baggage trunk shut; no one’s getting in or out. Life’s just going awesome! I love this job and I can’t thank Rose enough for helping me get it!”
“Faboo! But, you can’t stay here, what if -“
“I even made a friend, well, sorta… this very pretty blonde girl gave me some of the clothes she doesn’t use.” Copycat gestured to her current outfit; a long-sleeved purple top and a wavy black skirt “AND Plotz said, I can actually dub some of the voices again, too. And-“
“Wait, too much information, too fast!” I paused, raising my hand, while Paula laughed:
“Sorry little buddy!”
“I’m glad you made a friend… and, uh, you do other voices on Animaniacs, besides Dot’s?” I questioned, curious. Paula just nod her head and went on:
“AND they’re asking me to dub in that ninja turtle show, for a few episodes. Apparently one of the turtles has throat flu or something… he’ll be ok in no time, but I’m just so happy, they’re paying me awesomely, too!”
“Uhm, Paula… wait!!” I had to grasp my head, she was talking too fast and it was all too much new information. She zipped her lips, while I took a breath to comment:
“That’s… a nice outfit-“
“Oh, thank yo-“
“I said, please wait!” I gave her a pained expression, I was glad she was happy and talkative, but I had too much comments and questions and we could stay there for days without actually getting to any of my points “Who’d ya make friends with? And who do you dub on our show?”
“I…. think her name was Katie. And when I said friends, I meant… just a nice person, we didn’t share secrets, go to the mall or even exchange last names. She just let me have them, so… I did! We’re the same size so they fit fine.” Paula answered “As for your other question-“
“You mean Katie Ka-Boom? But she’s nuts! I thought she’d kill you if you ever got near her!” I blurted out, but quite honestly, was afraid of the day Katie and Paula would meet. Copycat seemed a bit uneasy, then twitched her fingers around like little worms, before finally answering in a warm, yet shy note:
“…Wakko, Katie’s mute.”
“….huh?”
“She was born deaf and… she CAN speak a little, but… not enough to actually… y’know, scream and give out a proper scene. I’M her voice… we never met before, but… yeah, those screams, that’s me, hon. And, uhm… sometimes, they ask me to sing on Minerva’s behalf, but she doesn’t do it much, or when an extra female has to sing a song, me again…. That answer your questions?” Paula spoke carefully, while I blinked at her:
“….oh.”
I guess that explained a lot. I flirted with Katie all the time and she always ignored me; guess everything does have a reason behind it.
“They just wanted a pretty, normal-looking teenage girl and she fit. Voicing someone isn’t that big of a deal.” Copycat finished off, seeming uneasy. I decided to switch from the subject and go on with the questions:
“D’ya dub anyone else? Like Rita?”
“Oh no, Rita sings amazing! Why would I?? But they let me sing in choruses and be additional voices, too. That’s pretty much it. I’m gonna get even more money and then I’m gonna-“
“Which turtle?” I was still curious. I was never much of a fan, but thanks to Buster and Plucky always mocking the show, I had seen some of it. Plus, their videogames were usually good.
“I…. think his name is Donatello. Not sure. One with a purple hair-band…thingy….uh, they’re not exactly pleased with me, since they say I’m giving him too much attitude and making him resemble Raphael. Working on being the “nice and sweet” guy.” Paula smiled, while I pondered:
“….who’s Raphael?”
“I have no idea! I can’t even tell them apart, if it weren’t for the head-bands… but even with them, I can’t remember which color is who! It’s all very confusing. They’re all pretty stuck up and rude, though, well, besides for this one guy, who seem very hyper and keeps yelling “Kallabunga”… I think he’s a surfer. He offered me pizza once.” Copycat shrugged “The other two, they’re huge jerks, but you get by. I never really met that… purple one I’m voicing, but he did send me an e-mail to say thanks for helping him out.”
“Pizza sounds good…” my mind trailed off, while the brunette girl just laughed:
“Not the one he offered… it had everything you can think of, besides an actual decent topping. Ok, that’s a lie, it did have some ham and cheese… but there were jellybeans, and bananas, and fried pickles, a whole ton of peanut butter and… I think, for some reason, there was chocolate in it, or maybe it was just some type of sauce, I’m not sure….”
I still thought that if it were me, I’d at least taste it, since now I wondered if that sort of combination would be good. Noticing my expression, Paula laughed:
“But I’m sure that sounds delicious to you, huh?”
“Can you maybe pick up a piece for me next time he offers?” was my response and she agreed, laughing even louder:
“If he does offer, I hope I didn’t offend him… I told him I was allergic to peanuts…but I think he might be ok, he seemed nice…or just takes too much sugar in his diet…”
It was nice to hear her laugh and see her smile; even if her face was, as always smudged with the worst type of make-up, it looked so sweet when she did sincerely smile. I hadn’t noticed before how pretty her happiness could be.
I almost wanted to kick myself, but I had to ask and get to the point. I hated doing that, since it’d probably make her go yellow and squirm, as always, but I just had to:
“…did Martin look for you, at all? Did he at least try and send your stuff back?”
Though her smile did fade, she seemed unbothered… however, a shade of worry flashed over her features:
“Different number, remember? But… what if he sold them! Or threw them away? Shit, man! I should’ve at least packed before I rushed outta there!”
“No one’s seen Steph around here, for weeks! You can go there and pick it up, I’ll help, I’ll-“
“Good riddance.” Paula spewed with clear hatred “I hope she gets the plague and dies a rotting, flesh melting death!”
“…Okay.” I shrugged, since I knew that was far from possible. The plague hasn’t been around for a long time, `least, that’s what Yakko taught me. Most likely, since me and Dot went around town and spread so many lies and rumors about her, she fled the country, since no one wanted to be around her anymore. My sis came up with most of them, she said girls knew how to hurt other girls best. I just wanted to tell everyone she was secretly fat, but Dot handled it much better.
She got her voice back, too, you know. It’s still not recommended for her to sing much, but she’s the same ole Dot once more. We were all happy for her; everyone was, since everyone genuinely loved Dot. Paula herself seemed pleased to a surprising extent, which she once explained:
“I felt very guilty when I dubbed her voice, so I’m glad I’ll never, ever do that again. No one can replace Dot, or her sound! I felt like mold. ”
“As for Martin, I don’t wanna go there and face him… I’m… scared.” Paula admitted “I don’t know why, but I am and… fine, he can burn, sell, trash my stuff and laugh behind my back with whoever he wants, just as long as I don’t have to see him…”
“Ok!” I brightened up a bit, an idea came to mind “I’ll go there, I can sneak in and I’ll get your stuff for ya. No prob!” it felt like the least I could do, like I said before… I was a comfort to her, but it was my brother who did everything when it counted.
Her smile returned and for a second, I thought she was gonna hug me again. That didn’t happen, apparently, her shyness had come back, job or no job, but she did tell me:
“You’re the best! Will you, really?”
“Sure, sure! Uhm, I might need some help with the heavy stuff, but… hey, I have a bag with all sorts of stuff to help me lift. It’ll be right back to you before you even know it.” I grinned proudly, sticking my tongue out. Finally, a chance to feel useful in this whole messy story.
“Thank you!! If there’s anything I can do to return the favor, just lemme know!” Copycat beamed at me, while I considered:
“Weeeeeelll…. Couple of things, really…”
“All ears, little man.”
“Could ya… tell me where to drop the stuff off? `Cause it’d just stink if I left it somewhere and it got… lost, or stolen…” I trailed off, hoping she’d catch my hint. She didn’t.
“Uhm, right here by my car is fine. I’ll give you the keys, just stick `em inside an-“
“I don’ want you livin’ in a car!!” I finally blurted out “I can’t believe you have, for a week, even! I mean, you look so clean, but-“
“Why thank you!” she flushed slightly, but I rumbled at her:
“That wasn’ a compliment, you also look tired, and yellow and too thin. And where do you even clean yourself up, or shower or… uhm… y’know!”
“…well you try sleeping in a backseat and see how healthy you’ll look!” Paula frowned, offended, then went on “I use public bathrooms, for your information, and I can wash my hands and face there, also, do my make-up. Change clothes inside here, I make sure to cover the car top when I do….”
“What about showers?? I know you’re doin’ great at all these jobs, but have you really not… for a week?” that seemed disgusting, then I looked at her hair “And your hair, it’s perfectly clean! Do you wash it in bathrooms, too?”
“…no! I shower two times a day, I just, eh… well, I “borrow” Chicken Boo’s…. window every now and then and… well, use her shower. AND I brush my teeth after every meal, I can do that in the car, y’know, I just-“
“Don’t wanna know!! That’s gross! And illegal and ….that’s just not right…” I shook my head at her, then froze for a second “…you called Boo a “she”…”
“Well she’s an asshole! Just cause she’s a lesbian doesn’t mean that everyone wants her and that she has to go around saying she’d never, ever date me, how ugly I am, how no one would sleep with such a hideous dyke, how-“
“…Boo’s a girl?”
“Uhm… Wakko… isn’t it obvious? “You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you’re not a man, you’re a chicken, Boo…” ….dude, your show has a lot more than a few hidden “innuendo” jokes…” suddenly, Paula clasped her mouth shut “Don’t ever tell your brother I swore in front of you. He’ll kill me. He’ll have a rain of anvils fall on my head faster than you can say “aardvark”.”
I shook it off, too much, too much for just one day! And I was barely ten years old!!
“You can’t break into someone’s house and use their shower, that’s illegal! H-…s-…. The chicken can have you arrested!”
“….it’s not like Boo uses it, chickens never go under a shower, it’s just there, for show, and-“
“Not. Right. Look, just… please, you wanna get cleaned up… come to the tower anytime, alright? Why didn’ you even ask me??” I crossed my arms, as she pat the front seat, gesturing for me to sit closer to her:
“….I thought it’d be rude.”
“This is ten times ruder, no matter what anyone’s told you!” angered, I turned my head away and stared out the window “You’ll… just…”
“Well what can I do?” Copycat seemed saddened “I still can’t afford a place…”
“Leave this stupid car and find ANYTHIN’, anythin’ at all!” I frowned, but she remained stubborn:
“Nope, I won’t.”
Feeling myself getting furious, I half-hissed:
“Fine. `Least come to the tower and don’t go sneaking in people’s houses or public bathrooms… `least promise that, or I’ll get really mad and I won’ even try to get your stuff back…”
“Ok, ok….uhmm… but that’d just be weird!” Paula backed off, while I yelled:
“Weird?? You’re living in a car!”
She went silent, apparently frightened off by me screaming at her. I quickly moved closer and raised my hands up, toning my voice down:
“I’m sorry! But if I lived in a car, wouldn’t you get angry??”
“I’d beat you senseless with your awesome red cap.” Copycat pointed out, seeming relaxed for the moment “I just, it’s… YOUR house. You’re my friend and -“
“Which is why you shoulda came to me first. Aren’t we friends? I felt like all this time I’ve just been following you around like a pet so you can use me as a tissue. Can’t you ask me for one tiny favor, ever?”
Looking away, her cheeks flushed and she began pulling on her hair, nervously. Finally, she spoke up:
“I… never really had a friend before. I thought I did, I had people around at school, we hung out, had nights out, everything… but no one’s cared, like you do and… you’re my only friend. I’m too… embarrassed to ask anything. I feel like I don’t even deserve you caring 10%!”
I stared at her, feeling at a loss of words myself. Looking down and locking my hands together, all I could say was:
“Oh…”
“Y-yeah…”
It took several minutes before we could finally look at each other, eye to eye, and resume talking:
“But… you’ll still come, right? I’ll give you signs! We can make up our own signal system, I’ll keep Yakko away from the tower and you can come in and clean up and everything… you won’t have to worry about him, at all! And Dot… well… you like `er, right?... I mean, she doesn’ like you THAT much, but she won’ mind…she’s really nice and when you get to know her-“
“She helped me with a few outfits yesterday. She’s a sweetie.” Paula gave me a smile, then nod her head “Alright, if you insist… just… call me up, whenever the tower’s empty. I promise, I won’t do anything illegal again…”
“Promise?”
“Promise! Would I lie to you?” she arched an eyebrow, while I honestly replied:
“Yep.”
Copycat frowned, but flicked the side of my hat playfully anyway. We both knew she lied to me all the time, but I believed that she would do what I asked of her, so I grinned once more.
“….still stickin’ to the car, though?”
“Until I collect enough money, and I will.” Paula said, completely sure of herself “I mean, those turtle people… are offering a huge stash just for a few episodes! They must really be famous….plus, since they found out I can imitate this Dona…uhm…purple dude, I’m getting offers left and right! Disney won’t stop asking me to sing for some of their shows and movies. They give tons of cash, too. Plus, this styling gig… so far, I’m on a newbie salary, but if I learn to do it well enough, cha-ching, babes.”
“I dunno, Paula… what if someone… sleeping in your car, what if someone hurts you, here?” I reached a hand out to her, which she didn’t seem to notice:
“It’s fine. I’ll…. Camouflage it… make it all dirty and yucky, so no one will wanna come near it.” She assured me, that did seem like a good plan. I was still worried, though.
Speaking of plans, I remembered my own. Keeping her mind and putty heart off my brother’s womanizing ways:
“Say, there’s another thing I want ya to do for me!”
“What?”
“C’mon!” I grabbed her by the hand and dragged her outside of the vehicle so quickly, she barely had time to lock it up and turn on its siren. I practically ran with her trough Burbank, well, I ran and she stumbled, pretty much wiping the streets with her new pair of purple shoes:
“…thanks, I always wanted a pair with no bottom lining. And heels, who needs heels? Holes are in, baby…”
“Hey miss!” ignoring my friend, I stopped a by-passing pretty lady and waved her over “Helloooo nurse!”
The lady turned around, I think she recognized me, but she didn’t seem to gush or act bothered; if anything, she seemed confused:
“Can I help you?”
She was a tall grey wolf with long wavy hair and a very curly tail, nice body, bright green eyes and matching green clothes. Paula stared at us both, apparently creeped out by the thought that I was gonna set her up again:
“Don’t YOU DARE!” the brunette hissed, but I played deaf once more:
“S’cuse me, will it be ok if I took a picture with ya?”
“W-what…?” the wolf girl stared at me, now looking bothered. I felt that I was falling into the “creeper weirdo” zone and tried to smooth it over:
“Yer just so pretty!... I just wanted a picture…” that would’ve worked for Yakko, maybe, but I decided to go for a different direction. Bowing my head down and embracing the image of a shy, innocent little boy, I awaited an expected slap over the face.
Instead, the wolf lady cooed and pat my head:
“Awww, aren’t you sweet! Sure you can! What a cute little boy!”
“Really? Fabooo! Hey, can my friend be in the picture, too?” I pushed Paula next to her, who almost knocked both of them down, then pretty much shrieked:
“What the crud are you doing??”
“I really, really wanted a picture of my friend, then I saw you, so… if it’s ok… I’ll take your guys picture, then she can take one of us two.” I bargained with the wolf-lady, who seemed puzzled:
“Uhm…alright?”
“Cheese!” pulling out a tiny camera out of my gag-bag, I shifted my head to the side “Paula, smile, and stop looking like you’re about to murder the nice lady… be happy, doncha like `er?”
Paula blushed a crimson red, while the wolf-lady seemed even more confused, but kept to herself.
“Hey, what’s your name, lady?” I asked, while Copycat was trying to avoid even looking at the other female
“…Tatyana…” was the answer
“That’s a really nice name! Can you two just get closer together, and help `er out, she’s kinda shy…” I asked, and Tatyana just shrugged, then leaned next to Paula, who seemed like she was about to die. I frowned at her and Copycat finally faced the other girl, leaned closer and forced a smile, although still having no clue what was going on.
“Perfect!” I snapped the picture and Paula rushed far, far away, practically hiding behind me “Oh, now I can take the picture… here, you shoot, Pau…”
After all the snapping was done, we parted ways with Tatyana, who even gave me a small kiss on the cheek, claiming I was the cutest boy she ever saw. Grinning wildly, I hid my camera, however, I still had an angry friend who hardly felt as hostile to me as the pretty grey girl:
“What. Was. That.” Paula hissed, turning me around by the shoulders roughly “Setting me up again??? I DO NOT want another Steph, thank you and I just wish you would stop-“
“No! I won’ even ever see `er again. I just wanted a picture of two super cute girls, I was gonna take yours first, but then I figured, why not make it double?” I lied, but compliments always throw you off. Girls like them, so it’s easy to believe; `sides, I wasn’t EXACTLY lying… I did need TWO cute girls, I just didn’t tell her why.
“Why?” I was hoping she wouldn’t ask, now I HAD to lie:
“…well, I just… wanted a cute picture. She seemed cute. I like hanging pictures on my wall, y’know…”
“Of complete strangers???” Copycat didn’t buy it one bit, but I shrugged:
“You said you’d do me a favor. I wanted your picture and a picture of a very pretty lady next to you, so I can look at you both and think nice things about you… and next time you feel unhappy about how you look, show you that you’re just as pretty as the lady.” I was gonna do that too, but I technically lied again, since that was hardly the reason I wanted that picture.
“….if you wanted something so cute, why didn’t you just take shots of Dot?”
“I see `er everyday, why’d I need a set of pictures? I have a whole bunch of `em in our living room, anyway! And… she hates sharing pictures with other girls, plus… I can’t compare you to my own sister, can I??” lies, lies, lie… Dot never had a problem with sharing photoshoots with anyone. Paula was still hesitant to believe me, then just shrugged her shoulders:
“I give up. You’re one weird cookie, you know that?”
“You’re pretty weird, too.”
“I know, but I don’t ask beautiful people I don’t know to take pictures with my friends…” she muttered, heading back to her car, while I followed, chuckling:
“You should! It’s fun!”
Phase one was complete. Once we got back in the car, I bought us a whole pack of sandwiches and we ate, listening to old rock songs on her radio:
“Yakko’s bein’ a pain…” I pretended to sigh, while Paula looked over to me, immediately:
“What? Why??”
“I didn’ wanna hurt your feelins, but he keeps making me angry. I wish he’d just cut it out, I wish you’d just punch `im!” I started my false tirade, which made her grown even more weary:
“…what is he saying about me? What? How many ugly jokes are there in this world??”
“Tons, comin’ from him, at least… he says you have a crush on me and that you made the entire Steph thing up, everything, Martin, the “no-place to live”… just so you can get in our tower and… uhm… do something to me, but he didn’ tell me what, exactly-“
Paula’s face turned clear read; I never, ever saw her face seem that twisted and scary. Clutching her fists and cracking her knuckles, it almost looked like foam was about to come pouring down her mouth; that didn’t happen, but she screeched in a deep, raspy voice:
“Go on.”
“Uhm…” I wondered if I had taken it too far “H-he says he’d never let me date you, since you’re too ugly, even if I were your age and finds this whole… `eh, everythin’… just disgustin’… also, he tells everyone you take drugs, cause he claims you can’t be THAT pale on your own…”
“Oh that little… is that… he…I’m gonna…”
“I just want him to stop. I dunno why he’s bein’ so nasty. It’s not like `im.” I finished off, but regret everything I had said immediately, since she rushed outside, fuming, blood red, her hair and hands spiraling around her, giving her a look of a clinically insane person:
“Where is he??? I’m gonna brake him in half!! That little freak!! That disgusting, sick, twisted pervert!!”
I quickly followed; I really didn’t want my brother getting beaten up over things he never even said:
“W-wait! He’s my brother, you can’t-“
“Oh, watch me!!!”
“He-he’s just… in love with someone else, that’s all! That’s why he’s sayin’ those things, he doesn’ mean `em!!” I tried to keep up pace with her, but apparently, if she wanted to, she ran very, very fast. Even on high-heels.
“Oh that’s just peachy, isn’t it.” Sparkles flew trough Paula’s eyes as she head over to the breakfast deli, right across our tower, where she knew we all loved going most mornings, to get nice food (and check out cute waitresses, too); but mostly, the food was good.
“It’s… uhhh… Fifi le Fume, he says, she’s the prettiest girl in purple he’d ever seen and-“
Paula stopped dead in her tracks, apparently, it was all too much. She noticed her own purple shirt, touched the streaks in her hair, her eyes seemed to moist… however the embarrassment seemed to overcome her hurt ego and pride, while I gulped, trying to hold her back:
“Please, I’m sorry! Don’ listen to me, I wasn’ bein’ completely honest, he never-“
“Don’t you cover for him anymore!” Copycat threw her hair back, as she always did, standing strong and tall. Entering the café, much to my bad luck, Yakko was there, talking to some girl, I recognized her as Shirley the Loon, from Tiny Toon Adventures. She was giggling about something and Yakko was being… well, Yakko, though I couldn’t say if he was flirting or not. For all I know, they could’ve been laughing at Plucky’s attempts to flirt with Hello Nurse, who, even though she liked him, was rightfully giving him the cold shoulder.
“YOU!” Paula practically screamed, rushing over to Yakko and grabbing him by the neck. Before my brother could say much, she punched him straight in the nose, screaming so loud that everyone turned around to stare:
“YOU TWISTED, DISGUSTING PERVERT! PIG!! WHORE!! HOW DARE YOU, HOW DARE YOU??? YOU THINK I FAKED IT?? JUST BECAUSE YOU’D FUCK ANYTHING THAT WALKS, I FAKED IT TO GET IN YOUR BROTHER’S LOVELY SHIRT???”
Before Yakko could even defend himself, or anyone could do any sort of action, since she was yelling and moving so incredibly fast, Paula punched him once more, this time in the eye, kicked his jaw and threw him aside, ending with:
“I HATE YOU!! I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN AND IF YOU EVER GO BEHIND MY BACK AGAIN, I’LL CHOP YOUR EYES OFF AND MAKE YOU GULP THEM DOWN IN A BOWL OF YOUR OWN SPLATTERED KIDNEY!!”
Turning on her heels, Copycat just walked away, throwing me an un-clarified look:
“I’ll see you later, Wakko, sorry I hurt your brother, but he can’t fill your head with such disgusting thoughts. Call me when he’s not around.” Then left, while I rushed to pick my poor brother up:
“Yakko!! Are you alright???”
“What the….alright, what the Hell was that all about???” he tried to scream, but it came out as a gasping screech. He also forgot how disapproving he was of curse words, apparently, as he tried to get back on his feet “This girl’s nuts!!! What the Hell was she even talking about??? Who walks in and beats up someone for just… what…I’m gonna-“he tried to chase after her, but I held him back:
“It’s not her fault!”
“She’s crazy!! Don’t you ever go near her again, ever, you hear me??”
“Yakko, listen… it’s… I told you, she hates you and you keep making her mad. Of course she’s gonna blow a fuse eventually!” I defended, avoiding my own fault in all of this. Stumbling on top of a chair, my brother tried to adjust his chin, while Shirley awkwardly walked away, turning a light pink from the whole scene. Trying to catch his breath, our family smarty wanted to find reason:
“….nope, she’s nuts. That’s it, no wonder that Martin guy kicked her out. You keep away, and I’m gonna-“
“You made her mad!!”
“With what?? What did I even do??” he wanted to know, but I hardly knew how to explain. An idea struck me, once more:
“….you know Mark, The Mime? He said you said she faked being sick so she could get in our tower, just to come see you. She thinks you’re full of yourself and that you think she’s madly in love with you and when he told her that you said those things… she was about to cry, you didn’t… tell him she was posing, did ya…?” The Mime was gonna get it, but he had it coming. No one calls my friend ugly! He does that everyday, and I’m running out of mallets and anvils…sorry, Mark…
“…what?? I…I never said that!” Yakko’s eyes grew huge, while I just shrugged, as a waitress brought us a huge pack of ice for his face:
“Mark told `er you did and that made `er feel awful. That’s why she punched you…”
“Is this true? That little circus creep said that??” my brother placed the ice on his jaw, then hissed in pain. I looked away, but he was far from thinking clearly at the moment to notice I was lying… usually, he read me like a book… however, once you get your face re-arranged, the stings of someone’s fists can be a distraction.
“That little… I’m gonna kill him…” Yakko finally concluded, then tried to take a deep breath “And her… I KNOW she hates me, I never once thought she liked me, at all… she treats me like dirt all the time! All I tried was to ask her out, now I regret even finding out her name…. I bought this on myself, I should’ve never teased her just because she dubbed Dot’s voice… great… I got beat up by a girl, wait `till it spreads around…”
“….some think she’s a guy.” I tried to comfort him, but that didn’t make him feel better:
“I’m gonna kill Mark, and as for her… I’ll talk things out, and if she DOES turn out to be some crazy person, then you, dear sib-“
“Just leave `er alone, she’s very hurt!” I insisted, while the oldest Warner pointed to his face:
“She’s hurt? Exqueeze me? I just hope I won’t need an eye-patch now…”
“….`s your funeral.” I shrugged, and stood by him, until the swelling came down. Afterwards, I noticed he took a different direction, opposite of our tower, without an explanation. Feeling like a stalker yet again, I followed quietly, knowing full well he was searching for Paula. I knew he’d never hit a girl, but I just hope she wouldn’t end up hitting him again… this wasn’t what I wanted…
My plans never work out. Why is that?? Ugh, this is really unfair…!
It took me a while to catch up to his pace and find him, though. What I saw was him and Copycat, under a chestnut tree, apparently, talking. I hid in a huge pile of grass and observed, this time, if it came to violence, I WAS gonna stop it.
“….it’s not true. That creep might’ve told you some lies, but I never, ever considered something like THAT….” Yakko was talking, while she was leaning on the tree, looking confused:
“….how can you call HIM a creep??”
“He is!! With that white face, what’d you call him?? Little Mime-boy…” Yakko muttered, while Paula’s eyes grew wide with surprise:
“How can you be so horrible?? Your face is just as white!! How can you say that about your own-“
“Look, whatever he said-“
“He’s not a creep!! And you’re a terrible human being… eh… puppy…” Copycat tried to move away, but my brother threw his hands on top of the tree, surrounding her without actually making physical contact, but not allowing her to move:
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were such good buddies…look, as I was trying to-“
“We ARE! And that’s all we are, now will you move your little toothpick hands, I just wanna-“
“…well, I never thought you were anything more, I mean, he’s…. y’know, strange…” Yakko looked away, while Paula blinked at him:
“Excuse me?”
“Let’s just say… I do have proof that your friend Martin doesn’t like girls, he and-“
“WHAT??”
I felt like it was my time to come out and confess, but at this point, Yakko had figured it out:
“We’re not talking about the same person, are we?...”
“….I really hope not…” Paula looked like she was about to lose her lunch “Since I always thought you were a great big brother…”
“…wait. You’re… who ARE you talking about??”
“Uhm… your brother? Who are YOU?” she seemed more than confused, while Yakko now seemed sickish too:
“Wakko?? I was talking about Mark, The Mime! I’d never call any of my siblings a bad name or…ughhh, great… now I need brain-bleach…how’ll I ever get that image off my head? Take off your top, I need something to look at, anything, really….”
“Then go stare at Fifi!” Paula snapped, but then her gaze changed. Puzzled, she turned to him “But… why are you talking about The Mime?”
“Because he spreads nasty rumors? He told you all those things that made you punch my face off today; why would I be talking about Wakko??” my brother stared at her as if she were retarded; by now, I was sure he really did find her crazy. Completely mixed-up, Copycat answered:
“…. Because Wakko told me today?”
“He told you? He told me The Mime said it! Did he… lie to me?” Yakko let his hands fall loose; this wasn’t turning out good for me at all. By the end of it all, everyone would hate me, except maybe for Dot, who’d just say “I told you so”… why do I keep getting myself in trouble?
“…I dunno, maybe… The Mime told him?” Paula tried to cover me up, but mostly, I knew she just didn’t want to believe I was a liar in the first place. I understand why; but I was doing it for a good cause! She’d thank me in the future, when I finally do tell her everything, from top to bottom.
That is, if I survive the night, after my brother corners me and makes me spill my entire autobiography.
“…I’ll have a talk with him tonight.” Knew it. Great. Now I need to figure out even more plans and back-ups… why did I lie in the first place? A lie is like a shred, or a piece of DNA… once you make one, more and more twist around it and continue it, and it seems like it’ll never end….
“Look, no matter what anyone said -it’s not true, I never spoke a word against you and I DO know you hate me. I know you don’t like me. I never went around saying you did, it never crossed my mind that you’d do all that, just to get in our tower, since it took me so much just to keep you in there, anyway. I have no problem with you, I don’t dislike you, and you’re welcome to come visit anytime you want. That’s it. AND I do like you, you know, but it’s obvious you don’t want me, so, just….let’s scratch everything and at least…try and be friends? Or are you gonna break my neck now, just for offering…” he was probably kidding, but seemed weary. Paula’s mind couldn’t process all the things he said that fast, so she just repeated:
“You… like me?”
“Yeah, I kinda… have been, for a while now, but hey, forget about it. Can’t I at least be someone you can be comfortable around? Maybe catch a flick sometime? I’m not asking for a kiss here, or some steamy pink romance, just to get along.” Yakko huffed and ruffled his ears, hoping this would end a lot quicker. With Paula however, things took a lot of time.
“….but Wakko said you thought I was ugly. That you’re dating another girl. I don’t get it, do you… what do you like, I don’t get this, and I’m just… I give up…” Copycat started walking away, while sighing deeply “Sorry I hit you so much, I don’t know or what to believe anymore, but I’m going back to my car and getting some sleep…”
“Wait. I never, ever said anything like that… I always told Wakko you were pretty and cute… alright, something doesn’t add up here…” my brother now seemed more than weary, I could see he was starting to catch on on me, and… I was in trouble, big time, but he went on, anyway “I’m not dating anyone! I’m single at the moment, when I figured I can’t date you, I did have a few relationships, but… I still like you.”
She turned around and stared at him with horror, thinking he was playing a cruel joke on her or, even worse, giving her pity. When you’re Paula Crawford, pity is the thing you hate most:
“…why would Wakko lie?”
“Maybe he misunderstood, maybe he didn’t believe me, maybe it was because when I first saw you I did insult your looks, but… we said some things, we were in a fight, it can happen… oh, by the way, here…” he handed something shiny to her, at first I couldn’t tell what it was, then I recognized it. It was that hideous twitchy lip-ring, which she took with hesitation “You, eh… must’ve dropped it in the shower. Don’t wanna tell you where I had to dig to get it, but…you can still use it, it’s clean, no rust, no nothing…”
Paula went speechless for a moment, before hiding it in her shirt pocket, then blurting out quietly:
“….thank you. I missed it…”
“So… friends?” Yakko tried once more, offering a hand, which Copycat took:
“…a-acquaintances, I guess…”
“Well, better than I expected.” My brother grinned “So, Paulie…” he suddenly felt bubbly again and threw an arm around her small shoulders, walking with her forward “Since we’re leaning towards friendship, how ‘bout we go bowling tonight? I’ll bring Wakko and Dot, too, and you can bring your friends… know any redheads? I’ve been dying to meet a cute redhead…”
Copycat’s face turned dark and she threw his arm off, then gave him a deadly glare:
“No.”
“Aw, well… too bad. But you can bring your friends anyway, though I’m sure I won’t find any of them half as pretty as you are.” There he went again, turning that ole charm. Apparently, my backfired plan… backfired right back, if that makes any sense. And I was considering coming clean, too!
I noticed Paula blush from head to toe and felt like slapping myself over the forehead. Surely, she wouldn’t fall for that!!!
But, she did, and just managed to mutter a:
“I don’t have any friends….” Very quietly, while Yakko took this as his chance to wrap his arm around her once more:
“Well, always a good time to make some. Now you’ll get three…well, I’m not sure if Dot likes you, but you’ll have two, at least.”
As they walked ahead, I stood up from the grass and dust myself off. This was NOT working. What’d I have to do next??
I saw them parting their ways:
“So, bowling, right? I’ll come pick you up, ah… address or something?”
“….I’ll just give you my cell number. And yeah, bowling sounds… fun.” Copycat agreed, slouching a bit, seeming very awkward and embarrassed. Yakko smirked at this and took her hand, giving it a light kiss:
“See ya tonight then, Snow!” before leaving with a huge grin plastered all over his face. He knew he was winning…and YES it was just a game… as I watched Paula drop in the grass behind him, sighing and apparently, swooning, once he was very far off sight, I could tell.
He was winning, but not for long.
And yet, there she was, sitting in that same spot for what felt like hours, just touching her hand and sighing so deeply. I wanted to walk over to her, mess everything up, but remembered…
I was in trouble, so I’d better get to the tower. I’d fix Paula up later, she’ll listen to me.
….I hope.