Broken Faith, Part Four
Title: Broken Faith
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Characters/Pairing: Morgan, Prentiss, team - gen
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Friendship
Summary: “Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath.” ~ Solon.
Warnings: Spoilers for 6x18.
Author’s Note: Major thanks to microgirl8225 for the feedback on this chapter. It helped a lot with the direction of the story.
…
Part Four
Trust not him that has once broken faith.
William Shakespeare - Henry VI
…
Morgan was waiting outside Hotch’s office.
It was not a conversation that Emily particularly wanted to have at that moment. It would have been easy enough to brush past him like he wasn’t even there, but she’d hurt him enough already. They didn’t cover stuff like this in the “spy handbook.”
‘So?’ he asked.
‘So, I am officially no longer an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation,’ Emily told him matter-of-factly. ‘I am a civilian, who needs to start looking for an apartment.’ Never mind that she didn’t actually have any income. She wasn’t sure what the policy on pension was for the situation, which was why her next stop was HR.
‘That’s it?’ he asked. ‘Just like that?’
‘Just like that,’ Emily shrugged, wary of Morgan’s reaction. He had seemed accepting of her decision earlier this morning, but now he just seemed angry again.
‘So you’re leaving us?’ He sounded hurt - betrayed, almost - and Emily sighed internally.
‘I’m not leaving you, I’m leaving the Bureau - there’s a difference.’
‘Just like you “left the Bureau” when Doyle first escaped from prison?’
‘Come on, Derek, we spoke about this.’
‘No, we didn’t. We were going to, but you deflected it, remember?’
Emily tried to push past him. ‘I don’t have to explain myself to you,’ she said angrily.
Morgan grabbed her arm. ‘No, but you do need to explain yourself to Reid, who lost another person that didn’t bother to stick around long enough to say goodbye. And you need to explain yourself to Garcia, who couldn’t even work for three months, she was so terrified that another one of us was going to get killed.’
‘You think I wanted to leave?’ she asked, jerking out of his grip. ‘You think I wanted to spend six months alone in another country, waiting every single day to hear if Doyle was dead, or if he’d gone after the team anyway? Do you think I wanted any of this?’
‘Then you should have told us,’ he said, without preamble. ‘We would have dropped everything to help you, but you were too caught up in yourself to realize that.’
Crack.
She had thrown the punch before she even realized what she was doing; it collided solidly with Morgan’s nose, and sent a shockwave of pain down her arm. His hands went immediately to his face, eyes filled with disbelief. It took Emily several seconds to realize that she had, in fact, decked Derek Morgan - in front of the entire freaking Unit, if the stunned silence from around her was anything to go by.
Out of any other sane options, Emily Prentiss ran.
…
She made it as far as the Ladies’ Bathroom, which, in terms of hiding places, wasn’t a particularly good one. One hand clutched the cistern of the toilet as she emptied her stomach contents.
What the fuck are you doing, Emily?
Her body seized with each choked sob that came out. It would be so easy to just let the tears come, but for some reason, she didn’t. She couldn’t.
Compartmentalization was about being who people needed you to be. Right now, Emily Prentiss needed to be strong, and brave, and unwavering. If she couldn’t be that person, then she was going to fall apart.
The bathroom door swung open, and Emily heard heavy footsteps that sounded decidedly male. ‘Go away,’ she called out. She wasn’t interested in Morgan being all judgmental. It seemed pathetic that after so long without the team, all she really wanted was some time alone.
Maybe she was better off that way.
‘Not a chance,’ the owner of the footsteps called back. Rossi. Not expected, but not surprising, either.
‘Are you going to arrest me for assaulting a Federal Agent?’
‘From what I heard of the conversation, it sounds like he had it coming.’
Emily shook her head. ‘He’s been…amazingly cooperative. But I guess that only goes so far.’
‘He took it pretty hard, when you left without telling anyone what was going on. More than any of the rest of us.’
Emily stood shakily, and unlocked the cubicle door. Rossi was leaned against the sink casually, arms crossed.
‘He doesn’t exactly trust easily,’ Emily said with a shrug, turning on the faucet full blast, and washing her face. ‘I betrayed that trust. I betrayed everybody’s trust.’
‘Funny thing about trust,’ Rossi said. ‘Is that sometimes you need to have faith, instead. Faith that they know what they’re doing, and that somehow…everything will be okay.’
Emily gave a grim smile. ‘Thanks,’ she told him. ‘That means a lot. Even if everything didn’t exactly turn out okay.’
He put a hand on her shoulder. ‘It will.’
…
‘Sounds like you were being kind of a jerk,’ Garcia commented, as she passed over an ice pack. ‘I mean, I get that you’re upset, but it’s not your place to dictate how Reid and I are supposed feel about this whole messed up situation.’ The technical analyst’s tone was deadly serious.
‘She needs to talk to you about it then, instead of avoiding the issue.’ Morgan pressed the ice pack to his nose, trying not to cringe. They had moved into the briefing room, where there was decidedly less staring from the other agents on the floor.
‘It’s been like…two days. As much as you’re hurting about everything, Derek, Emily’s been going through it just as bad. You need to give it time.’
Garcia straightened, attention suddenly shifting to behind Morgan. He turned, to see Emily standing with Rossi, looking more than a little bit ashamed.
‘I…um…’ Emily bit her lip. ‘I’m sorry for punching you.’
‘It was a pretty good punch,’ he conceded.
‘Oh, please,’ Garcia laughed. ‘I have checked the security footage, sweet cheeks. You went down fast than Reid when he tried to spar with JJ that one time.’ Morgan gave her a look.
‘You know what? I’m gonna go…not eavesdrop on your private conversation,’ Garcia said, as she and Rossi both made their exit.
‘Is it broken?’ Emily asked, somewhat anxious, as she sat down two seats away from him.
‘I think so,’ he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. There was something akin to anger firing up in his chest, but that would only exacerbate the situation. Besides. He wasn’t sure who he was angry at anymore.
‘I’m sorry. I just…I do want to be able to talk about it, and I know that you need to hear it, but…I don’t think it’s going to work if you keep pushing me.’
‘I know,’ Morgan admitted.
Emily bit her lip again, and stared down at the floor. ‘Rossi offered me his spare room. I feel like I should probably take it.’ Morgan was about to interrupt with disagreement, but Emily shot him a look. ‘I think we both know that you’re going to keep pushing whether you mean to or not, and whatever else happens between us in the future, I don’t want to damage this friendship beyond repair.’
‘Okay,’ he nodded, not feeling entirely convinced. ‘You’re probably right.’
It was for the best, he told himself.
So why the hell did it hurt so much?
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Characters/Pairing: Morgan, Prentiss, team - gen
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Friendship
Summary: “Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath.” ~ Solon.
Warnings: Spoilers for 6x18.
Author’s Note: Major thanks to microgirl8225 for the feedback on this chapter. It helped a lot with the direction of the story.
…
Part Four
Trust not him that has once broken faith.
William Shakespeare - Henry VI
…
Morgan was waiting outside Hotch’s office.
It was not a conversation that Emily particularly wanted to have at that moment. It would have been easy enough to brush past him like he wasn’t even there, but she’d hurt him enough already. They didn’t cover stuff like this in the “spy handbook.”
‘So?’ he asked.
‘So, I am officially no longer an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation,’ Emily told him matter-of-factly. ‘I am a civilian, who needs to start looking for an apartment.’ Never mind that she didn’t actually have any income. She wasn’t sure what the policy on pension was for the situation, which was why her next stop was HR.
‘That’s it?’ he asked. ‘Just like that?’
‘Just like that,’ Emily shrugged, wary of Morgan’s reaction. He had seemed accepting of her decision earlier this morning, but now he just seemed angry again.
‘So you’re leaving us?’ He sounded hurt - betrayed, almost - and Emily sighed internally.
‘I’m not leaving you, I’m leaving the Bureau - there’s a difference.’
‘Just like you “left the Bureau” when Doyle first escaped from prison?’
‘Come on, Derek, we spoke about this.’
‘No, we didn’t. We were going to, but you deflected it, remember?’
Emily tried to push past him. ‘I don’t have to explain myself to you,’ she said angrily.
Morgan grabbed her arm. ‘No, but you do need to explain yourself to Reid, who lost another person that didn’t bother to stick around long enough to say goodbye. And you need to explain yourself to Garcia, who couldn’t even work for three months, she was so terrified that another one of us was going to get killed.’
‘You think I wanted to leave?’ she asked, jerking out of his grip. ‘You think I wanted to spend six months alone in another country, waiting every single day to hear if Doyle was dead, or if he’d gone after the team anyway? Do you think I wanted any of this?’
‘Then you should have told us,’ he said, without preamble. ‘We would have dropped everything to help you, but you were too caught up in yourself to realize that.’
Crack.
She had thrown the punch before she even realized what she was doing; it collided solidly with Morgan’s nose, and sent a shockwave of pain down her arm. His hands went immediately to his face, eyes filled with disbelief. It took Emily several seconds to realize that she had, in fact, decked Derek Morgan - in front of the entire freaking Unit, if the stunned silence from around her was anything to go by.
Out of any other sane options, Emily Prentiss ran.
…
She made it as far as the Ladies’ Bathroom, which, in terms of hiding places, wasn’t a particularly good one. One hand clutched the cistern of the toilet as she emptied her stomach contents.
What the fuck are you doing, Emily?
Her body seized with each choked sob that came out. It would be so easy to just let the tears come, but for some reason, she didn’t. She couldn’t.
Compartmentalization was about being who people needed you to be. Right now, Emily Prentiss needed to be strong, and brave, and unwavering. If she couldn’t be that person, then she was going to fall apart.
The bathroom door swung open, and Emily heard heavy footsteps that sounded decidedly male. ‘Go away,’ she called out. She wasn’t interested in Morgan being all judgmental. It seemed pathetic that after so long without the team, all she really wanted was some time alone.
Maybe she was better off that way.
‘Not a chance,’ the owner of the footsteps called back. Rossi. Not expected, but not surprising, either.
‘Are you going to arrest me for assaulting a Federal Agent?’
‘From what I heard of the conversation, it sounds like he had it coming.’
Emily shook her head. ‘He’s been…amazingly cooperative. But I guess that only goes so far.’
‘He took it pretty hard, when you left without telling anyone what was going on. More than any of the rest of us.’
Emily stood shakily, and unlocked the cubicle door. Rossi was leaned against the sink casually, arms crossed.
‘He doesn’t exactly trust easily,’ Emily said with a shrug, turning on the faucet full blast, and washing her face. ‘I betrayed that trust. I betrayed everybody’s trust.’
‘Funny thing about trust,’ Rossi said. ‘Is that sometimes you need to have faith, instead. Faith that they know what they’re doing, and that somehow…everything will be okay.’
Emily gave a grim smile. ‘Thanks,’ she told him. ‘That means a lot. Even if everything didn’t exactly turn out okay.’
He put a hand on her shoulder. ‘It will.’
…
‘Sounds like you were being kind of a jerk,’ Garcia commented, as she passed over an ice pack. ‘I mean, I get that you’re upset, but it’s not your place to dictate how Reid and I are supposed feel about this whole messed up situation.’ The technical analyst’s tone was deadly serious.
‘She needs to talk to you about it then, instead of avoiding the issue.’ Morgan pressed the ice pack to his nose, trying not to cringe. They had moved into the briefing room, where there was decidedly less staring from the other agents on the floor.
‘It’s been like…two days. As much as you’re hurting about everything, Derek, Emily’s been going through it just as bad. You need to give it time.’
Garcia straightened, attention suddenly shifting to behind Morgan. He turned, to see Emily standing with Rossi, looking more than a little bit ashamed.
‘I…um…’ Emily bit her lip. ‘I’m sorry for punching you.’
‘It was a pretty good punch,’ he conceded.
‘Oh, please,’ Garcia laughed. ‘I have checked the security footage, sweet cheeks. You went down fast than Reid when he tried to spar with JJ that one time.’ Morgan gave her a look.
‘You know what? I’m gonna go…not eavesdrop on your private conversation,’ Garcia said, as she and Rossi both made their exit.
‘Is it broken?’ Emily asked, somewhat anxious, as she sat down two seats away from him.
‘I think so,’ he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. There was something akin to anger firing up in his chest, but that would only exacerbate the situation. Besides. He wasn’t sure who he was angry at anymore.
‘I’m sorry. I just…I do want to be able to talk about it, and I know that you need to hear it, but…I don’t think it’s going to work if you keep pushing me.’
‘I know,’ Morgan admitted.
Emily bit her lip again, and stared down at the floor. ‘Rossi offered me his spare room. I feel like I should probably take it.’ Morgan was about to interrupt with disagreement, but Emily shot him a look. ‘I think we both know that you’re going to keep pushing whether you mean to or not, and whatever else happens between us in the future, I don’t want to damage this friendship beyond repair.’
‘Okay,’ he nodded, not feeling entirely convinced. ‘You’re probably right.’
It was for the best, he told himself.
So why the hell did it hurt so much?