What's this...a public entry? yup. a candid entry, solecisms and all.
STuff that makes me happy
-h
-a good song
-finally going to bed after a late night doing work
-a sweet dream
-my hug for the day
-laughing in class
-learning something new
-getting new school/office supplies
-doing well on a test
-a fun group project meeting
-swimming
-dolphins
-playing tennis
-reading a good fantasy book
-getting mail
-writing in my journal and actually get my thoughts down accurately
-sleeping for hours and hours...and hours
-riding down memory lane
-when something good happens to a friend
-my birthday
-first day of school
-a good movie
-dancing
-loyal friends
-F.R.i.E.N.D.S
-the google search bar
-finding a way to save time
-winning something (even if it's just a soda)
-perfecting a paper/project
-occasional praise that i've earned
-lifehouse music
-live music
-looking at things i've created in bouts of creativeness
-old black and white movies with moral, songs, all that good stuff
-Anne books
-shopping
-new clothes/books/bags
-remembering my family in vietnam
-knowing people love and care for me
-loving and caring for those around me
-..random things
haha. yeah. i'm not sure why i wrote that. just thinking about stuff..since my dad wouldnt let me go to this volunteering thing. i should've known..cuz i have a TYC thing tomorrow..so yeah..doom from man of no consecutive events. ugh. uhm yeah whatevers. after a big of websurfing....i was like..i'm not gonna yet him ruin my day yet again..and hence..i thought about all the things that DO make me happy. they range from general to specifics...and that's probably a rather incomplete list..but yeah..it's whatever popped into my mind.
first week back from break if FINALLY over. it was sooooo damn freakin long.
week of no sleep i named it. except for yesterday. i got home and slept until 9 am this morning. booray.
testing next week. test for algebra2 on monday. my life is built around tests, projects and exams.
reminds me of something in David Hoang's profile once: People say we don't have a life. Homework is our life.
pretty funny. somewhat true. dont be offended. it's true to a degree. at least for me.
life. yeah it's pretty funny. it's funny how innocence eventually turns into cynicalism, but not necessarily hate. yes, please keep your hatred away from me. it's like a black poison that engulfs the mind and keeps clear thinking away. i do not like hatred. i've experienced it, but i do not let it rule me,. neither should you. not to be so moralizing. it's just my view; you have your view. i have respect for your views..but in no way does that mean i'm going to stand for you to influence me w your views. tell them to someone who gives a....yeah
woop de doo.
i need to get away from here. seriously. i cant stand this place. the answer? college. my mom doesnt want me to, but if i can afford it, forget it..i'm moving across the country if i have to. somewhere where i can breath freely. make my own decisions. do what i want with my life. i'm probably going to make dumb and stupid decisions, i might falter and fall...but at least give me that option. you cant shield me forever. stay away from me. trust that i will get back up from my fall. all i ask for is support. leeway to make my own happiness. a way out of this sufficating life.
it sucks to grow up. to realize the imperfections of your heros, idols...parents. to develop this yearning sensation for freedom. "i'm just a bird who wishes to break free from its guiled cage." quote from Ever After..somewhat word for word.
the complications of life..
sometimes you want it to go all away. to be able to return to that worn and wary childhood. cares in the breeze.
yet you know it's a frivolous wish. so u've gotta deal. gotta know that you can't please everyone. gotta know that the most important person is yourself. if you're not happy with who you are..then what's the point? sometimes you've gotta let people down. but try not to let yourself down. ppl will come and go..but you're pretty much stuck with yourself.
yup. you just have to deal. DEAL WITH IT and SHUT UP.
sometimes i wonder..what is my motivation. really. what keeps me going? the late nights of studying...hours of sleep lost. the chaotic schedule. personal sacrifices..WHY DO I DO IT?
i think it has to do with my stubbornness. i'm too stubborn to give up. even when i'm past exhaustion..i wont go to bed until the paper..the POW..the reading is done. this dogmatic, inexorable mentality has been an asset and a flaw. i wonder how long it shall last.
i wonder how long I shall last.
i give up things with the subconcious knowledge that it'll return to me. Sweet karma. sums up my naive philosphy. i still believe in it despite the unfair things i've seen. of course life isnt fair. anything that complicated seldom is. but what goes around comes around. yup..do something wrong and you'll recieve your due penance. keep a clear concious and that'll lift you up in the worst of time. naiveties you say. i agree. let me keep them in my heart and soul for as long as possible.
enough public self-reflection for one entry. back to the seclusion of my psyche.
-h
-a good song
-finally going to bed after a late night doing work
-a sweet dream
-my hug for the day
-laughing in class
-learning something new
-getting new school/office supplies
-doing well on a test
-a fun group project meeting
-swimming
-dolphins
-playing tennis
-reading a good fantasy book
-getting mail
-writing in my journal and actually get my thoughts down accurately
-sleeping for hours and hours...and hours
-riding down memory lane
-when something good happens to a friend
-my birthday
-first day of school
-a good movie
-dancing
-loyal friends
-F.R.i.E.N.D.S
-the google search bar
-finding a way to save time
-winning something (even if it's just a soda)
-perfecting a paper/project
-occasional praise that i've earned
-lifehouse music
-live music
-looking at things i've created in bouts of creativeness
-old black and white movies with moral, songs, all that good stuff
-Anne books
-shopping
-new clothes/books/bags
-remembering my family in vietnam
-knowing people love and care for me
-loving and caring for those around me
-..random things
haha. yeah. i'm not sure why i wrote that. just thinking about stuff..since my dad wouldnt let me go to this volunteering thing. i should've known..cuz i have a TYC thing tomorrow..so yeah..doom from man of no consecutive events. ugh. uhm yeah whatevers. after a big of websurfing....i was like..i'm not gonna yet him ruin my day yet again..and hence..i thought about all the things that DO make me happy. they range from general to specifics...and that's probably a rather incomplete list..but yeah..it's whatever popped into my mind.
first week back from break if FINALLY over. it was sooooo damn freakin long.
week of no sleep i named it. except for yesterday. i got home and slept until 9 am this morning. booray.
testing next week. test for algebra2 on monday. my life is built around tests, projects and exams.
reminds me of something in David Hoang's profile once: People say we don't have a life. Homework is our life.
pretty funny. somewhat true. dont be offended. it's true to a degree. at least for me.
life. yeah it's pretty funny. it's funny how innocence eventually turns into cynicalism, but not necessarily hate. yes, please keep your hatred away from me. it's like a black poison that engulfs the mind and keeps clear thinking away. i do not like hatred. i've experienced it, but i do not let it rule me,. neither should you. not to be so moralizing. it's just my view; you have your view. i have respect for your views..but in no way does that mean i'm going to stand for you to influence me w your views. tell them to someone who gives a....yeah
woop de doo.
i need to get away from here. seriously. i cant stand this place. the answer? college. my mom doesnt want me to, but if i can afford it, forget it..i'm moving across the country if i have to. somewhere where i can breath freely. make my own decisions. do what i want with my life. i'm probably going to make dumb and stupid decisions, i might falter and fall...but at least give me that option. you cant shield me forever. stay away from me. trust that i will get back up from my fall. all i ask for is support. leeway to make my own happiness. a way out of this sufficating life.
it sucks to grow up. to realize the imperfections of your heros, idols...parents. to develop this yearning sensation for freedom. "i'm just a bird who wishes to break free from its guiled cage." quote from Ever After..somewhat word for word.
the complications of life..
sometimes you want it to go all away. to be able to return to that worn and wary childhood. cares in the breeze.
yet you know it's a frivolous wish. so u've gotta deal. gotta know that you can't please everyone. gotta know that the most important person is yourself. if you're not happy with who you are..then what's the point? sometimes you've gotta let people down. but try not to let yourself down. ppl will come and go..but you're pretty much stuck with yourself.
yup. you just have to deal. DEAL WITH IT and SHUT UP.
sometimes i wonder..what is my motivation. really. what keeps me going? the late nights of studying...hours of sleep lost. the chaotic schedule. personal sacrifices..WHY DO I DO IT?
i think it has to do with my stubbornness. i'm too stubborn to give up. even when i'm past exhaustion..i wont go to bed until the paper..the POW..the reading is done. this dogmatic, inexorable mentality has been an asset and a flaw. i wonder how long it shall last.
i wonder how long I shall last.
i give up things with the subconcious knowledge that it'll return to me. Sweet karma. sums up my naive philosphy. i still believe in it despite the unfair things i've seen. of course life isnt fair. anything that complicated seldom is. but what goes around comes around. yup..do something wrong and you'll recieve your due penance. keep a clear concious and that'll lift you up in the worst of time. naiveties you say. i agree. let me keep them in my heart and soul for as long as possible.
enough public self-reflection for one entry. back to the seclusion of my psyche.