its been awhile
its been a long time since i've posted. i feel like i have been on an emotional rollercoaster, as cliche and corny as that sounds. i dont know what to do. and i'm scared that i will make the wrong choice, and regret things later. and not be able to go back.
That is up to you Ashley, you know i love you and will love you no matter what choice you make... I am sorry if i have put you through a lot, but i have been through a lot too..
All i can say is i never regret for a minute when Dale forced me to go to Don Cartars after work at the Melting Pot. I didn't want to go because i felt he was going to just irritate me, but then i set my eyes on you, and knew that moment that you where the most beautiful girl i have ever seen. Then the movies, our first kiss, i remember how nervous we both where but from then on it seemed that we would be happy together forever.
Now it is almost 1 and a half years later, i never regret anything that we have done together, but will not mention them here, this is not the place and time. All i can say is whenever i have fallen asleep and woken up next to you, the only feeling i ever feel is happiness that i got to wake up next to you and that you wanted to sit next to me, no matter if i am sleeping or not.
I think we know almost everything about each other, and you know i do have problems, as i know you do... But we have always been able to work them out..
I hope this is another one of those workable problems..
I know i have promised you things and broken those promises, but i am going to try really hard to keep them from now on, i know you have no reason to trust me, but if you love me you will trust me...
I don't mean to be the voice in your head to tell you what to do and when to do it, nor do i feel you mean to be the voice in my head..
I have been stupid to believe others above you that say you have cheated on me and lie to me, because they are just jelious that you are mine and not theirs...
I know you have no reason to trust me, but all i can say now is i believe you Ashley Michele Fann.. I love you and will always love you no matter if your choice is to stay with me or to leave me...
It is your choice and just remember no one should influence this choice except yourself...
I want to stay with you and hopefully be with you next year at fsu but it is your choice.. I will no longer influence what you are doing and when you are doing it...
I just want to atleast talk to you once in a while so we can keep our relationship strong, because we have lasted 6 months of long distance andi feel we can last the distance...
I love you,
Eric
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